Orbiter 🇬🇧 Johnathan Isaac Harrison (and his family) / Cog City / "Jobless Johnny" / Cognitive Thought - Unemployable British cuckold, doxed himself on UberEats, alleged paedophile who now admits to having sex with a 17-year-old when he was 21, seethes on X all day about Ethan Ralph, married to a Punjabi Porkchop. Now the Bri'ish Jerry Springer show.

[Baldur's Revenge]

After watching Cog bitching about his thread live on stream, my overall impression of him is that he's not lolcow worthy because he's not the funny kind of smug that ends disastrously because of hubris, but rather he's the boring kind of smug that you encounter everywhere. It's not entertaining and at the end of it you think "this guy's a twat, moving on" and that's about the extent of it.

Yeah he is rarely funny enough to be talked about that often. He is of lolcow stock though. I will argue that to the death. When he steps in a pile of shit it's hilarious watching him sperg, like when he was being called a cuck and him railing on and on why he isn't one when people are clearly busting his balls. Going so far as to pulling up a dictionary definition and "UMMMM AKSUALLY!!!" ing as a defense was hilarious or when he projectile vomited on himself, the floor and his computer desk while holding a plastic grocery back was pretty hilarious. He was so fucking mad people kept bringing it up. If Cog could maintain a larger audience he would be a lolcow like Ralph or Warski. The brain damaged git just can't maintain a show because he isn't funny in the slightest.

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

Yeah he is rarely funny enough to be talked about that often. He is of lolcow stock though. I will argue that to the death. When he steps in a pile of shit it's hilarious watching him sperg, like when he was being called a cuck and him railing on and on why he isn't one when people are clearly busting his balls. Going so far as to pulling up a dictionary definition and "UMMMM AKSUALLY!!!" ing as a defense was hilarious or when he projectile vomited on himself, the floor and his computer desk while holding a plastic grocery back was pretty hilarious. He was so fucking mad people kept bringing it up. If Cog could maintain a larger audience he would be a lolcow like Ralph or Warski. The brain damaged git just can't maintain a show because he isn't funny in the slightest.

That's another thing. I find it odd how he becomes so pugnacious with people he interacts with in real time. He'll stop his show to argue with people in his chat or even do it over VC then continues to complain saying "I'm doing a show here, retard!" as though what he's doing is somehow impacting the overall "quality" of the content he produces. He's just broadcasting the same retarded shit he would be doing off air (talking to people on Discord, reacting to videos, etc.) with the only difference being that it's a recorded visual aid for his general audience to throw money at. It's not as though his "show" has any consistency considering he frequently pauses at random, takes smoke breaks, subjects people to a soundboard at will, go entirely off-topic. Calling it a "show" is about on the same level as Ralph. Reading Twitter and hawking your shit (be it merch, wrestle-wrestle tickets or your own music) isn't some kind of skill.

He often says he's comfortable with his audience and consistent, which is true to some degree, but of course he'd gladly like a larger audience that would pay him to just give lukewarm takes based on this revolving door content within this sektur. He says he'd gladly cover other things (which he does with crapcast and the conspiracy theory shit that hardly maintains an audience beyond 30 watchers) but he knows that guntosphere stuff is low hanging fruit. Imagine paying someone to be a janny.

Couldn't be me.

 

[SPERGSTROM]

Wait cog had a girlfriend!?!?!?

Can someone shed some light on the lore. Surely it was a tranny as he looks like the type to have one

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

LOL I forgot about TLDR.
Nice Nostalgia

What happened to that guy?

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

What happened to that guy?

If I had to guess: Susan. It stopped being fun because of the new YT guard.

 

[Baldur's Revenge]

Wait cog had a girlfriend!?!?!?

Can someone shed some light on the lore. Surely it was a tranny as he looks like the type to have one

Well the lore goes. A long long time ago. In the age of our lord 2016 he had a gf that was a nurse or some shit with a kid. He was so eager to be their daddy. His goal was to marry her and come over here to the states and live off the gubbermint and take care of her kid (He literally said this on a stream). The word is she got tired of him being a lazy piece of shit, broke and their relationship was just an extension of his "show" life. From the scuttlebutt all he did was talk about himself and his show and his fights with other e personalities. Never real relationship kind of shit. So she left him.

Then he got with this chick that he broke up her name is Thieves (more on that in a bit). Well he originally broke up with Thieves to get with some toothless meth head from Texas called Drama Queen that had like 2-3 kids with some other dude. Apparently he wanted to talk to the children on the phone to get prepared to slide into the "Just Add Dad" recipe. Which to me is a little weird wanting to talk to the kids on the phone only 2-3 weeks into a relationship. His goal was the same as with the gf before. Move to the states, be a stay at home dad and feed of the government. However there was a problem with this plan. That being Drama Queen's husband. Yep she was married and from the hubbies pov. Everything was fine. She was just living out some sort of fantasy relationship with Cog, but Cog was for realsies. All of Cog's "fwends" (Heph and company) started to laugh at him and called him a cuck as a joke and he sperged for weeks about it. Then tried to lean into the joke way too late.

Then he got back with that Thieves chick after this. They eventually moved in together and about a month after that he looked through her phone and saw she was sending a guy that she worked with risque photos and being a bit too familiar in text. With light flirting and what not. So Cog freaked out and broke up with her again. Cog doesn't seem to take into account that she might be hedging bets on this relationship might not last and he might break up with her again if he finds another "Just Add Dad" scenario so she kept her options open. I also heard that he was threatening physical violence on her if she ever talked about their relationship and also threatened to dox her info on his show to buy her silence about him.

 

[SPERGSTROM]

Which to me is a little weird wanting to talk to the kids on the phone only 2-3 weeks into a relationship

No pedo vibes at all. None at all. Nope…

 

[Victim2988]

I say he's likable IMO because he seems to be the only one in this sektur that doesn't let fake "internet friendship" cloud his judgement. When people were by Tonka, he called him out. Same applies to Ralph's guntguards and that Thomas Wellington whatever Jewish idiot. How long did Rand and Gator stick to Ralph?

His show is fucking boring and unwatchable, the constant donation interruptions and his shameless grifting is worse than the Kino Casino.

Oh my god you remember smellington, the jewish alcoholic who managed to get 5 minutes of fame before stoping to use the shower and only getting assdrunk on his stream? Meteorite career, he tried to reboot his channel later but my guess is that his family left him and he is living on the streets.
Cogs incredibly annoying constant interruptions (very, very loud and long) were a plague, I talked with him on twitter about it and he called it "his signature". What an idiot. I am sure that that's one of the reasons his boring show never really caught momentum when streams were the new shit. It's was just impossible to listen to it more than 10 minutes.

 

[AltisticRight]

Well the lore goes. A long long time ago. In the age of our lord 2016 he had a gf that was a nurse or some shit with a kid. He was so eager to be their daddy. His goal was to marry her and come over here to the states and live off the gubbermint and take care of her kid (He literally said this on a stream). The word is she got tired of him being a lazy piece of shit, broke and their relationship was just an extension of his "show" life. From the scuttlebutt all he did was talk about himself and his show and his fights with other e personalities. Never real relationship kind of shit. So she left him.

Then he got with this chick that he broke up her name is Thieves (more on that in a bit). Well he originally broke up with Thieves to get with some toothless meth head from Texas called Drama Queen that had like 2-3 kids with some other dude. Apparently he wanted to talk to the children on the phone to get prepared to slide into the "Just Add Dad" recipe. Which to me is a little weird wanting to talk to the kids on the phone only 2-3 weeks into a relationship. His goal was the same as with the gf before. Move to the states, be a stay at home dad and feed of the government. However there was a problem with this plan. That being Drama Queen's husband. Yep she was married and from the hubbies pov. Everything was fine. She was just living out some sort of fantasy relationship with Cog, but Cog was for realsies. All of Cog's "fwends" (Heph and company) started to laugh at him and called him a cuck as a joke and he sperged for weeks about it. Then tried to lean into the joke way too late.

Then he got back with that Thieves chick after this. They eventually moved in together and about a month after that he looked through her phone and saw she was sending a guy that she worked with risque photos and being a bit too familiar in text. With light flirting and what not. So Cog freaked out and broke up with her again. Cog doesn't seem to take into account that she might be hedging bets on this relationship might not last and he might break up with her again if he finds another "Just Add Dad" scenario so she kept her options open. I also heard that he was threatening physical violence on her if she ever talked about their relationship and also threatened to dox her info on his show to buy her silence about him.

He argued to his panel of "internet friends" how being a stepdad isn't cuckoldry. That was pretty hilarious. People in the call were like "actually, that's the definition". I even remember Bibble calling his edate skinny fat and comparing her to jelly, kind of like Amanda Morris' featureless body.

Oh my god you remember smellington, the jewish alcoholic who managed to get 5 minutes of fame before stoping to use the shower and only getting assdrunk on his stream? Meteorite career, he tried to reboot his channel later but my guess is that his family left him and he is living on the streets.
Cogs incredibly annoying constant interruptions (very, very loud and long) were a plague, I talked with him on twitter about it and he called it "his signature". What an idiot. I am sure that that's one of the reasons his boring show never really caught momentum when streams were the new shit. It's was just impossible to listen to it more than 10 minutes.

Yeah it was hilarious how this guy spoke to his wife as if both were on image boards. I remember his wife accusing him of making all the furniture smell and calling him a faggot.

 

[Pomniman]

I tried watching him as breakfasttime white noise for about a week or so after the Portugal thing and even with no expectations he still managed to get me to unsubscribe with his whining about how he's the only legit e-celeb and everyone else is fake/keeping him down. He's pretty much a textbook whiny lower class inferiority complex faggot and can't even allow himself to be tolerably mediocre. Truly a dosser through and through.

 

[Sammich]

What happened to that guy?

Last i seen he was on twitch maybe? Dude reads scientific studies and papers. It's deeply autistic and actually pretty enjoyable more often than not. That was probably two years ago.

 

[Disheveled Human]

He cried about sour grapes on his monday stream about how andy faked it to make it how he didn't train and it really sounded like envy what a bitch. The stream is now pulled down. Maybe if Cog was a better entertainer without the 15 second donations clips more interesting then Andy and PPP maybe Keem would have let him and Dan fight instead.

 

[AgendaPoster]

Cog seems to be a decent friend of the Farms. Appreciate the support in these hard time.
Looks like uploading vids is out of question for onion.
Here's a imgur link with audio:

https://i.imgur.com/qzcIlsJ.mp4

 

[Disheveled-Human]

Cog is easily the worst in this sektur. Ralph is the catalyst. Jim and Null are top tier, then the Kino Casino is a 3rd. Cog is just a fucking britbog leech, he was better off reacting to police activity videos tbh.

 

[The cold-Blood Witch]

Cog is easily the worst in this sektur. Ralph is the catalyst. Jim and Null are top tier, then the Kino Casino is a 3rd. Cog is just a fucking britbog leech, he was better off reacting to police activity videos tbh.

Dan is likeable because he has no stake in this gay shit

 

[Sammich]

Cog is easily the worst in this sektur. Ralph is the catalyst. Jim and Null are top tier, then the Kino Casino is a 3rd. Cog is just a fucking britbog leech, he was better off reacting to police activity videos tbh.

I can't really think of anyone that adds less to anything than cog. He's just an absolute leech like you said.

 

[fisherman]

Cog is just leeching off Jim right now, adding nothing of value (and degrading it by showing his ugly mug). I think we can all agree that he's the most worthless member of this whole sphere.

 

[MuppetSlaughter]

Cog's Backwards Internet YouTube chan has been scrubbed of all live video's. Any one know where he is hiding now? this is his 3rd channel that I know of.

 

[#KillAllPedos]

Dan the Man will forever go down as a legend when it comes to Guntistory/being the biggest A-Log

I remember a clip of him hitting one of those punch machines, the ones that measure punch force in pounds per square inch. If I remember correctly, he hit it into the 900’s, which would probably be enough to turn someone like Ralph into a vegetable. Assuming that’s accurate (I know some of those machines are more accurate than others), he hits like a truck. Ralph is lucky all he got was a bruised ego.

Actually, anyone else remember this clip? I’m looking for it, but maybe it’s lost to time.

 

[An automatic clown]

I remember a clip of him hitting one of those punch machines, the ones that measure punch force in pounds per square inch. If I remember correctly, he hit it into the 900’s, which would probably be enough to turn someone like Ralph into a vegetable. Assuming that’s accurate (I know some of those machines are more accurate than others), he hits like a truck. Ralph is lucky all he got was a bruised ego.

Actually, anyone else remember this clip? I’m looking for it, but maybe it’s lost to time.

I vaguely remember this. It looked like they were at like a pub that had arcade machines. I believe it was on one of cogs many suspended Twitter accounts.