Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[SwanSwanson]

Honestly, finding people that are going through this exact situation is already helping immensely. I was on board with trans people, even experimenting myself a bit, when he started transitioning. But after this whole ordeal, I admit, I'm bitter and angry. Seeing the amount of 'trans widows' there are, with kids, makes me angry. It tears families apart, these transitions.

These trannies I have no sympathy for. You're not an incel and have not faced any level of humiliation or grooming? How did this happen?

 

[Whetherwon]

Honestly, finding people that are going through this exact situation is already helping immensely. I was on board with trans people, even experimenting myself a bit, when he started transitioning. But after this whole ordeal, I admit, I'm bitter and angry. Seeing the amount of 'trans widows' there are, with kids, makes me angry. It tears families apart, these transitions.

It's been my number one priority to provide a sense of stability for my kid, and he just doesn't seem to give a shit. He's mentioned that he's going to miss our kid when we're splitting time, but literally has never once expressed any concern about how our kid is feeling. It's infuriating.

 

[Kupier]

It's been my number one priority to provide a sense of stability for my kid, and he just doesn't seem to give a shit. He's mentioned that he's going to miss our kid when we're splitting time, but literally has never once expressed any concern about how our kid is feeling. It's infuriating.

So many of these men are complete narssicists.

 

[Baraadmirer]

My brother trooned out and I found out it's because he got literally groomed. He's a minor and was in online for the last two years of the pandemic. I've tried my best but he's also legitimately autistic and I haven't been getting through. It got to the point where I took his laptop and forced his parents to look through it which got it taken. They're not buying it and refuse to legitimize it so we're all working on it now. Things are looking up so maybe we can change things before it's too late.

Please don't let minors have unrestricted internet access. We can turn it around but that's because I caught it at the right time. Don't let them take your family from you.

View attachment 3657527

I'm disappointed you're not using your ability, Lady Kicchou.

In all seriousness though, hope your family's able to bring your brother from the brink of irreversible decisions.

 

[AMHOLIO]

It's been my number one priority to provide a sense of stability for my kid, and he just doesn't seem to give a shit. He's mentioned that he's going to miss our kid when we're splitting time, but literally has never once expressed any concern about how our kid is feeling. It's infuriating.

And he proceeds to stop being a mom as soon as it's convenient so he doesn't get accused of being a shitty mom.

Thanks for being good to the kid. Hope they grow up well and in a good environment.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

Don’t want to give a lot of details because it’d could dox me.

I couldn’t save her. I can’t save her. She gone.
RIP.

Hear we cry
We have lost a lot of friends in the system
Dem do a lot a tings fi turn u inna victim
You, pick up gun caah a quick ting
Mikey dead because him rob miss chin
Mi nuh pants so nuh boy couldn't press me
Dem do alotta tings fi try impress me
Nah go stray so dem couldn't mederess me
R.I.P fi mi frens dem weh pass and gone


F.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Don’t want to give a lot of details because it’d could dox me.

I couldn’t save her. I can’t save her. She gone.
RIP.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. You can tell a victim how to try to save themselves but you can't make them take the first steps.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Trans widows are just sad for me. I remember watching an episode of Maury Povich about transgender people that wasn't one of those old "man or woman" types he used to do 20 years ago. Two guests were a trans widow and her ex. Her husband of 30+ years trooned out and he was giving her shit about not wanting to continue the relationship. Ironically, she was supportive of his change as she more or less said "I am not a lesbian, I cannot be in a relationship with another woman, you would be happier with someone else that can." That "validation" was not enough. I can't remember the outcome but it was generally far more sympathetic to the wife despite the show topic (another guest was a trans man coming out for his 40th anniversary high school reunion in a rural Georgia town).

One of the enbies I still follow whined this morning that she needed top surgery soon so she could sleep on her stomach without having to adjust her tits first. The fact that she wants bottom surgery (pretty sure that includes fake balls in this case) makes this "logic" all the more mind boggling to me. Granted, I don't have a dick or balls, but I thought "adjusting the package" was a thing that dudes do because it's that dangly down there? I'd assume that a massive arm roll up and fake nutsack would do similar (assuming she could still feel down there after the operations).

I get it, boobs can be inconvenient. Having to wear a bra, especially while running, sucks. But goddamn, you learn to live with it. That and lose weight. Plus if she did indeed get the whole "package" she'd probably rant about how the seven inch Coke can in her pants is doing the exact same thing her boobs are doing now.

 

[Rich Evans Ayypologist]

He's a minor and was in online for the last two years of the pandemic. I've tried my best but he's also legitimately autistic and I haven't been getting through.

Well, being stuck indoors does mean that it's difficult to get him into any sense of belonging or anywhere social. I find that that's usually what the autistic sorts that get groomed crave in this sort of shit - a way past their anxieties, a way to not feel so different and so outcast from others, and a sortof 'slate' to wipe away their experiences as 'others.' So long as that sense of confidence and self isn't strongly established, you're always at a risk of someone coming along and selling a false, distorted view of reality to the guy, in which he gets led up shit creek and left without a paddle, without really knowing why.

Would that it were that nerdy hobbies and therapy, the places that could theoretically best help someone find that sense of self-acceptance and belonging, weren't infested with handmaidens like as not to see themselves as conductors on an underground railroad. Just bear that in mind - the groomers come to fill a hole they've become conditioned to spot, and you'll all have the unenviable task of helping someone overcome some very difficult hurdles on the path to self-acceptance and, indeed, self-love.

Granted, I don't have a dick or balls, but I thought "adjusting the package" was a thing that dudes do because it's that dangly down there?

I mean, you have to do it often enough, but it's not really like... a big inconvenience. It's just a thing. I don't think it's so much logic, though, as them grasping on to anything to snuff out any anxieties about wanting to mutilate herself. Think about someone with poor impulse control - they often latch onto the tiniest little thing, with the barest bit of logic, to justify doing something.

My understanding of the "package" that ftm gets installed down there is that it requires a hell of a lot more work than do actual male bits, similar to how neovaginas demand a whole lot of work than does the real-deal. It's cutting off your arm because your pinky itched.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Well, being stuck indoors does mean that it's difficult to get him into any sense of belonging or anywhere social. I find that that's usually what the autistic sorts that get groomed crave in this sort of shit - a way past their anxieties, a way to not feel so different and so outcast from others, and a sortof 'slate' to wipe away their experiences as 'others.' So long as that sense of confidence and self isn't strongly established, you're always at a risk of someone coming along and selling a false, distorted view of reality to the guy, in which he gets led up shit creek and left without a paddle, without really knowing why.

Would that it were that nerdy hobbies and therapy, the places that could theoretically best help someone find that sense of self-acceptance and belonging, weren't infested with handmaidens like as not to see themselves as conductors on an underground railroad. Just bear that in mind - the groomers come to fill a hole they've become conditioned to spot, and you'll all have the unenviable task of helping someone overcome some very difficult hurdles on the path to self-acceptance and, indeed, self-love.

I mean, you have to do it often enough, but it's not really like... a big inconvenience. It's just a thing. I don't think it's so much logic, though, as them grasping on to anything to snuff out any anxieties about wanting to mutilate herself. Think about someone with poor impulse control - they often latch onto the tiniest little thing, with the barest bit of logic, to justify doing something.

My understanding of the "package" that ftm gets installed down there is that it requires a hell of a lot more work than do actual male bits, similar to how neovaginas demand a whole lot of work than does the real-deal. It's cutting off your arm because your pinky itched.

This is the impression I got with that. It’s just something that you do as a tit owner. And even then it’s only annoying for like two seconds. If it’s causing you that much distress you need to address that in a way that’s not outright cutting them off. It could just be sensory issues plus anxiety. Sometimes when I’m anxious I seem to overprocess everything.

 

[Rich Evans Ayypologist]

If it’s causing you that much distress you need to address that in a way that’s not outright cutting them off.

Well, think from the perspective of someone impulsive. If you see a delicious chocolate cake, but you know you shouldn't have it - are you really not going to have it? Or are you going to invent reasons to have it? Today was a stressful day. I've been good up until now. I can afford a little wiggle room. This won't be too big of a deal. I won't do this too often.

Many or most of the excuses given aren't really entirely true, but they may be partially true. Maybe today was difficult, but there's better ways to unwind. Maybe you have been good about your diet, but that isn't a reason to throw it away. Maybe you don't often do it, but how long will that be true if it always works as an excuse?

If there was a better reason for it, there wouldn't really be a need to justify it with such minor, anecdotal things. At the same time, when it's justified with such minor, anecdotal things, you're not going to be able to get in the way of someone without discipline having a slice of cake. Peer pressure is surely part of why getting the chop is seen as sunshine and rainbows, but this is the nefarious mixture of peer pressure reinforcing an impulsive decision that was already made a while ago.

 

[Baraadmirer]

One of the enbies I still follow whined this morning that she needed top surgery soon so she could sleep on her stomach without having to adjust her tits first. The fact that she wants bottom surgery (pretty sure that includes fake balls in this case) makes this "logic" all the more mind boggling to me. Granted, I don't have a dick or balls, but I thought "adjusting the package" was a thing that dudes do because it's that dangly down there? I'd assume that a massive arm roll up and fake nutsack would do similar (assuming she could still feel down there after the operations).

I adjust when they're in a position that causes me discomfort because TRUE and HONEST dicks and balls have nerves running through them. Armsocks don't, so any feeling would be felt further in in areas supplied by nerves like the pudendal. If anything, trans men who've gone ahead with fake penises should check in on them regularly to make sure they aren't being squished out of shape.

 

[buoyverificationfuel]

I've mentioned my MtF ex in this thread before. They still manage to find me on social media and "reach out to check on me" despite me blocking their number and making it as clear as I politely can that I am not interested in being friends. If they reach out again I do not plan on being nice about it.

I support trans people who are fucking normal about it. If you have something structurally wrong with your brain and you just want to be a normal man/woman living a normal man/woman life, more power to you for living your life in a way that makes you happy. But fetishizing womanhood and making everyone uncomfortable isn't okay. Pushing misinformation isn't okay. Saying that children, who are not neurologically developed enough to understand the consequences of serious medical treatments (including puberty blockers), should be able to consent to it without parental approval is not fucking okay. But now wanting people to not ruin their lives and depressed children's lives is transphobic.

I just cannot comprehend how people do this to themselves without debilitating gender dysphoria. Is your fetish really that important?
Part of me hopes I'm the asshole and I'm wrong about my ex and they aren't ruining their life over a fetish. But I know I'm not wrong. I just hope they're happy and don't regret it.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

I support trans people who are fucking normal about it.

Each passing year I realize more and more that no trans people are fucking normal about it.

 

[Rich Evans Ayypologist]

Each passing year I realize more and more that no trans people are fucking normal about it.

How many did you know before 2013? Probably not a lot, if any at all. In most places, you sortof knew they existed, but they didn't really draw any attention to themselves, so who knew and who cared? That proportion of 'trutrans' is the same as it always was - ludicrously small.

Now throw in thousands upon thousands upon thousands of posh pretenders chasing neverland. There are more people who've latched onto that condition today than who have ever, in history, probably ever actually suffered from it. Their express goal is to never grow up, and they found the perfect shield - the old trans 'community' was so dislocated and so decentralized, there was simply no way for them at all to oppose all of the affluent yuppies flooding in.

And you can bet your ass, couple'a years, those yuppies are gonna become the born-agains... again. Almost like the flower children left behind a playbook of how to hedonistically fuck everyone else over and reap all of the rewards with no consequence whatsoever.

I just cannot comprehend how people do this to themselves without debilitating gender dysphoria.

You're gonna benefit from lowering your expectations of humanity just a couple of notches. The strange intersection of a lust for power and total, complete laziness is a fairly common one for people to arrive at, and right now trooning out is the easiest way to get power over others at all.

The comfortable, affluent kids who do this are just seeking power to avoid the guilt of having wasted their immense privilege, and will after this fashion passes move on to another one. The poor kids clinging onto this will realize that they weren't far at all from the treads, and be ground into an absolute pulp so soon as the fashion passes and they have to reckon with their own foolishness. It's pitiable, but there's really nothing you can do. Energy is better spent on realizing your own happiness, insulating it from the mania that animates these ticking time-bombs.

 

[Skookum Jim]

Dropping in to mourn the twinks these fuckers are stealing from the gays, the tomboys they're stealing from us straights, and literally everyone they're stealing from the lesbians.

 

[AUTOEXEC2.BAT]

I've been trying to support my ex boyfriend through transitioning for the past 2 years. We broke up years ago, but stayed friends. He used to be a fit guy, working as a consultant, middle class upbringing. He was full of life, we had the craziest parties, we travelled everywhere, things were really great. We didn't work very well together as a couple in the household though, there were many arguments, and we decided to separate but stay friends.

2 years ago, he opened up to me about gender dysphoria and his wishes to transition. I've supported a couple of friends who transitioned before, and they went on to live happy lives after, no big deal.
He started off by DIY'ing hormones, I suggested against this and that he should see a therapist first. He DIY'ed anyway, and I have to give it to him, he did end up seeing a therapist!
Now though, he's 2 years into DIY'ing hormones and he still hasn't made the effort to actually transition. He doesn't really look like a guy anymore, he just looks like this awkward in-between. The reality is that he just needs to take care of himself, but he doesn't bother with basic grooming, he refuses to do his eyebrows because "its scary", he refuses to do anything but take hormones. Every time I suggest something minor, like hey maybe exfoliate, maybe pluck your bushy brows, he takes this as me bullying him into progress, and instead of taking these simple routine steps he creeps more and more into his shell.
He argues that I'm being pushy and offering no sympathy, but at the same time, he hasn't made ANY progress but instead he's regressed into being a shut-in who works from home for the past 2 years.

Recently, he tried to get insurance to cover FFS, facial surgery. The insurance requires that you've been medically transitioning for at least a year, have started your social transition and have your name and gender changed after approval from a psychologist. All reasonable requirements, and my other trans friends have never complained about these things. It seems to be a recurring theme with a certain type of trans person though that these are 'obstacles'. Somehow, he still has all his muscle tone, despite being on HRT for 2 years, he hasn't lost any weight, he hasn't done ANYTHING. Why on earth would you look towards FFS when this is something you A) dont need and B) arent ready for?

I feel like during the pandemic he drank the tranny kool-aid and thought it would be a way out of his problems. You see, he had always been unhappy with himself, he didn't like his career, he didn't like how "this is it". I always attributed this to his coddled upbringing, he's from a white middle class family, he went to a good university and just generally never had real challenges in life.

No matter what I say though, he vehemently defends his "passive" strategy, saying that it's comfortable for him. 2 months ago, I argued that he's underestimating transition and that his passive approach is proving to not work. For the first time, he told me that he's going to actively try to be better about this and that he'll try to make real progress. I told him that I would help him if needed. However, he hasn't been talking to me, he hasn't done anything apart from take a 2 week break at work because he needed "space". I told him that it was a good idea to take some time off, and suggested he should travel and do some real life things to clear his mind. In those 2 weeks, he completely cut contact with everyone he was still talking to and went on an adderall + alcohol gaming binge, flipping his sleep schedule around, and after those 2 weeks were over he told me he "changed" and that he doesn't want to hear me being pushy and offering no sympathy. Basically, he doubled down yet again.
I feel like this relates to him never having had a challenge, transitioning is the first real challenge in his life and instead of seeking help I think he just realized that he dug his head too deep into the sand with no way out anymore.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I lost someone I deeply loved, someone with an active lifestyle, loads of friends and a promising future. I don't recognize this person. I miss him so much, I just don't want to see him harming himself any further, I want him to either transition completely and live life as a happy woman, or live life as a happy man, not a shut-in troglodyte who hasn't seen the sun in 2 years. I know transitioning is possible for the few, for those who are actually transgender, but I feel like he isn't, I feel like this is just his own little midlife crisis and he realized he can't just cut his mantits off to undo it so instead he's becoming a uwu poly catgirl troon despite looking like Ron Jeremy.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I've been trying to support my ex boyfriend through transitioning for the past 2 years.

I've supported a couple of friends who transitioned before, and they went on to live happy lives after, no big deal.

Why do you keep "supporting" people in ruining their lives? Are you one of those "black widow" types?

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Not a trans widow myself but I know a woman who is married with young kids. Her husband travels often, internationally, for work. She found women's clothing in his luggage and pressed him, and he admitted to feeling like a woman. He wants to start transitioning, but wants to remain married. She's still reeling and isn't sure how to handle the situation yet (obviously she should leave him). I told her that awful as it is to contemplate she needs to get tested for STDs because God knows who he was porking or getting porked by while traveling.

 

[AUTOEXEC2.BAT]

Why do you keep "supporting" people in ruining their lives? Are you one of those "black widow" types?

Because it's their body and their choice to mutilate themselves, I'll encourage them if it makes them happy even if I don't agree with their ideas.