Al from Dadeville
Please expect my motion for sanctions forthvoming.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2019
What’s the human equivalent of those little fish that eat the dead skin off diabetic feet?
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
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🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Probably a human paraquat, as the dude would say
either that or he's the stink bait they're talking about here
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2021
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
The cow wants someone to design his merch for him. Of course, he does! Help the autistic fat cow make money. He is entitled. Help him or be labeled a bigot! I think this idea will probably pass soon. He has no money to put towards anything like this. That money would be better spent on poke bowls.
I'd say his "type" would be a girl all tied up where she couldn't get away, or comatose or dead.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Lucas's content is a fall or winter crop, isn't it? The fat faggot Autumn is nearly ready to harvest. He's active on FB and Tinder, and in the kitchen. He's started bleeting his bewildered mating call. Soon, if we are fortunate, he may venture forth from his lair and skulk where zoomer baes can be found.
Lucas's birthday has been occasion for interesting content. This year, Lucas enjoys enough unearned stability to focus on what matters most: the absence of puss puss in his life, how to explain it, and what to do about it.
"I just need words. I've tried everything else suggested to me."
Priceless and promising. A reminder that Lucas believes there is some combination of syllables that, when uttered, will bring puss puss into his life like an incantation. He has spent over 2 decades fruitlessly searching for a script to follow. He believes that the script exists, and it is being withheld.
If someone like Trump puts ketchup on an expensive cut of beef, those that care about that sort of thing may sneer: you're doing it wrong, you don't know how to appreciate your meat, you're an asshole. They may even have a point. Same point doesn't apply to the poor schmuck with bad taste trying to make his humble cut a bit more pleasant. Lucas is more like the former, if only because he flexes his food.
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2020
Look, I’m not above pan frying a steak if I don’t feel like firing up the grill but I have no idea what this guy is doing. Why are you basting the damned thing in olive oil? It’s going to crisp (if not burn) the outer layer of the meet (and there isn’t a chicken where you want to crisp the skin).
Also, why the fuck are you baking a thin cut of meat for 3 and a half hours? It’s going to come out with the consistency of a brake pad. A living animal died so that this guy could make this abomination.
Wait, he stuffed a roast with fucking mayonnaise? FUCKING MAYONNAISE? What is this guy doing? Mayonnaise separates in high heat. That alone is disgusting but now it’s mixed with mustard and BBQ Sauce and that unholy concoction has permeated the overcooked beef? I literally threw up in my mouth thinking about how bad that would taste.
Dear god man, if you want to cook complicated shit, go online and watch some Julia Child videos before you try. This last one takes us a few miles past the cheesy cukes.
I’m pretty sure Trump is a Germaphobe. He eats his steaks well done as a result and puts ketchup on them to make up for the lack of flavor. Not something I’d eat, but at least I get the motivation for it. There’s NO REASON TO EVER TO STUFF A ROAST WITH MAYO.
All that being said, with his recent return to making videos, and his horrifying culinary concoctions, what are the odds that our boy is off his meds? Hell, his sex drive seems to have returned as he’s just recently started talking about banging teenagers again.
Are we at the beginning of another round of chimp outs? If so, is this the one that puts him in the ground?
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2018
Hey, to be fair if he likes ketchup on his steak that's his prerogative - I'm not gonna tell a guy how he should cook or enjoy his food. but nobody needs to see or know that.
The only condiments that touch my steak is A1 sauce. Ketchup on steak is blasphemy.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
You cook a steak properly, it doesn't need A-1 or anything else.
True shit. My biggest peeve is people who overcook a good steak.
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
If you need sauce, either you are complete shit at cooking a steak, or friend/family/restaurant is shit.
That's the worst part of this. Can't watch him try to sell whatever new stolen bullshit he would pitch.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Theres definitely something up with his meds. Either he's off them or they've stopped being effective. Either way the end result for him is always the same, the chimpout is inevitable. Its only a question of when and what specifically ends up setting him off first
But yeah what he did with that mayo is fucking horrifying, I don't know how he even managed to eat that roast after all the shit he put into it. His sense of taste and texture obviously isn't working properly at all. It also goes well beyond eating like this because he's a hobo, there are many hobos out there and they don't do insane shit like that with food. Thats broke brain autistic shit. It really makes me wonder what his mother fed him as a kid and let him get away with food wise. I can see lucas being the type of kid who puts salt, vinegar and pickles on his ice cream and thinks its gourmet and adult sophisticated. Everything about lucas is about sex and food. Food even more than the sex at times. Just look at his 2010 history writeup. Everything he talks about somehow centers around food in some way. Cyril was a scumbag because he took all the rent money and gorged himself on food with it while lucas starved and lived off ramen and what he could steal from his roommates (lucas never explains how his rent money would even be able to be used that way, as it was rent money. What did he think cyril did? Pay the 2/3 of the rent on his own and then use lucas's for food? Its idiot logic), and when he admits cyril did take him out to parties and such what does lucas fixate on? The fact that he 'tagged along so he could get something to eat' at the party. and how michelle would take him out to eat at times (which I find hard to believe cause as a woman she would have pegged him for someone you don't want to be alone with or giving dating impressions to real quick) I have to wonder if lucas did his toasterbortion foods living with cyril. and on the subject of lucas and ketchup I have to wonder what prompted this:
Which makes me think there was some kind of incident involving lucas and ketchup that led to cyril 'not liking it' (aka telling lucas he isn't allowed to bring it into the apartment again) i'm thinking something cooking related, like overcooking something in the microwave that caused it to splatter all over the inside of the microwave and not cleaning it up, or something similar in the oven. Why else would he be told he's not allowed to bring in ketchup specifically? It goes without saying that lucas being lucas there is plenty he left out of that 2010 reflection about his actions and behavior
GoutfootHorseface
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2020
It would seem that his awful hygiene, inability to understand the most basic aspects of food safety and mayo filled roasted meat has turned and bitten him in the ass.
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- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
Looking forward to his reasons and how it totally wasn't his culinary war crimes.
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2016
Considering he rubbed olive oil all over raw meat, then proceeded to touch the olive oil bottle, spices, counter, oven door handle, and God knows what else without washing his hands he can look forward to re-infecting himself for weeks.
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2016
The fact that he doesn't wake up with an upset stomach every single morning is actually surprising
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2019
Lucas has never, ever been able to link actions to consequences. He’s actually blind to the fact that his eating habits and food hygiene have most likely caused his recent spell of ill health.
I get that cognitive dissonance and the fugue of mental illness have made him unable to reconcile his ugly personality/body/soul with the fact he’s a kissless virgin, but the first thought one would have when they have tummy trouble is ‘must be something I ate’. I can guarantee this is it the case with Lukey boy.
I get that cognitive dissonance and the fugue of mental illness have made him unable to reconcile his ugly personality/body/soul with the fact he’s a kissless virgin, but the first thought one would have when they have tummy trouble is ‘must be something I ate’. I can guarantee this is it the case with Lukey boy.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
I wonder if lucas has managed to make his roommate sick yet. He has shared videos of him eating some of the shit lucas has made (you'd think even a sped would realize thats a bad idea after seeing how lucas handles food)
Lucas should consider himself lucky he hasn't put himself in the hospital with food poisoning yet. Salmonella is no joke, I had that shit from subway 3 times and spent the better part of a week on the bathroom floor each time, so i'm shocked he's even able to be doing anything at all. Especially with his already shit health
That said i'm not so sure it was the horrifying roast in itself that made him sick. Beef generally isn't all that risky for illness once its cooked and when you do get sick from it it tends to be from ground beef or something prepared legit raw. Unless we're talking parasite infection. Given lucas's atrocious hygiene habits I suspect what happened here was contamination from his previous horrifying raw chicken handling a few days ago. Probably involving not cleaning surfaces, chopping boards or knives properly after they came in contact with raw chicken. rinsed them with water at best (which incidentally usually just spreads salmonella and why lots of people recommend not rinsing raw chicken in your sink) and left them like that, then used them while preparing the beef and ended up contaminating it with salmonella
....and that means if he doesn't figure that out and clean up properly he's going to keep making himself sick again and again. It'll be like that scene from king of the hill where they're all in the alley drinking soap contaminated beer, puking after every few sips and blaming it on bill eating a banana in mexico and not realizing it was the beer
Lucas should consider himself lucky he hasn't put himself in the hospital with food poisoning yet. Salmonella is no joke, I had that shit from subway 3 times and spent the better part of a week on the bathroom floor each time, so i'm shocked he's even able to be doing anything at all. Especially with his already shit health
That said i'm not so sure it was the horrifying roast in itself that made him sick. Beef generally isn't all that risky for illness once its cooked and when you do get sick from it it tends to be from ground beef or something prepared legit raw. Unless we're talking parasite infection. Given lucas's atrocious hygiene habits I suspect what happened here was contamination from his previous horrifying raw chicken handling a few days ago. Probably involving not cleaning surfaces, chopping boards or knives properly after they came in contact with raw chicken. rinsed them with water at best (which incidentally usually just spreads salmonella and why lots of people recommend not rinsing raw chicken in your sink) and left them like that, then used them while preparing the beef and ended up contaminating it with salmonella
....and that means if he doesn't figure that out and clean up properly he's going to keep making himself sick again and again. It'll be like that scene from king of the hill where they're all in the alley drinking soap contaminated beer, puking after every few sips and blaming it on bill eating a banana in mexico and not realizing it was the beer
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Lucas says "no". No, it wasn't food poisoning. He is a plenty good cook and he knows what he is doing and he does it plenty well, you bigots! $20 for friend accepts and unblocks. Lucas wants sushi and women and this is how he will get it. 
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