The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[KiwiFuzz]

Or they could be sold on the market. "AM'D and SLAMMED here's our boi Kennel Kevvy, collared and ready for new plastic toys! Alien Gorilla has the stance to keep all the haters in check!"

RIP, CumRag.

 

[Irate Feline]

I had thought Tranny Waco's demise would be more exciting and explosive after they started hoarding guns for no goddamned reason but I'll take an implosion like this. Now that they've solidified themselves as a proper cult with inductees, escapees, a defined caste system, accusations of espionage and dogmatic devotion to their retarded troon overlord I hope this means that they'll stick together like a roving band of merry retards even after the Tranch itself closes up shop.

Realistically they'll just fizzle out and go their separate ways and everything related to the TUR will be memoryholed as an experimental utopia by Brave Trans Warriors that was doomed by Evil Capitalist Bigots, but one can dare to dream that this saga will go on far longer than it should and be recorded by every party involved.

 

[F13 Key]

I don't think this saga is anywhere near coming to an end. From what I can tell, the reason Paul hasn't booted them is ostensibly his concern for the animals and unwillingness to render the remaining troons homeless. The reality is that attempting to evict them from across the country would result in a legal battle he can't afford. And the tranchers also can't afford to sue him or otherwise try go to court to claim the property as their own. They simply don't have enough money between any of them to afford lawyers, so have continued to let this situation run as it has in a sort of unspoken truce up till now.

Paul's saber rattling to try shift community perception in his favor for when he eventually does take some sort of action, because the troons are all "anti-landlord" and evicting them is a very landlord thing to do. He has to make an eviction look justifiable enough to overcome that, so that the tranch can't fundraise their way out of it.

 

[retard strength]

Also lol at Paul saying they need to just sell the alpacas. Nigger you should know better than anyone that absolutely no one is buying these things, especially now you've gotten your herd sick and poorly socialized and emaciated and probably inbred. Good fucking luck finding a rescue willing to take, what, 50-200 of them? How many died in the last winter?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Good fucking luck finding a rescue willing to take, what, 50-200 of them? How many died in the last winter?

Bonnie should really be working the alpaca neglect angle harder in his callout/tell-all.

That's how you get leniency, after all: rat on your accomplices and show the sheriff where the bodies are buried.

He could estimate a timeline of alpaca population, and probably has unpublished photos that were held back because they accurately show the dwindling herd. Bring up the story of the disappearing pellet machine for comic relief.

 

[80's Dad]

It's been over a year now since all of this transpired, and the Ranch has never been healthier.

This is some bullshittttt lmao. You know how people will keep up appearances to save face? You might have a co-worker who is well dressed, hair and makeup done, but turns out that she's a hoarder and her house is a pig sty, or the wholesome, happy family next door that are just so sweet, but the husband is having an affair and it's tearing them apart. Some people are good at making themselves look better or hiding their bad traits.

But then you have the Tranch. They are incapable of making any aspect of their 'commune' look half way decent. The shots of the house show old appliances strewn around, trucks that won't start, the filthy interior. The actual land is worse with the piles of rotten hay, alpaca shit, and eroded top soil. Jarrod's run down trailer and shower, the tarp barn, the wobbly perimeter fence. The fact that they are in no way self-sustaining with the constant trips to Costco for convenience food, reliance on generators and propane, can't grow any of their own food, don't even grow their own weed.

If this is the best the Tranch has ever been, then it is a failure. Nothing about this project is sustainable, profitable, or a safe haven. They can't even fake it.

It's also wild to me that Paul has a loan on a truck and had no idea that loan wasn't being paid to the point that they repoed it. Maybe my bank is just nice, but I can just log in and see my car loan. How much I owe, how much my next payment is and when it's due. Did he just ignore all of that?

I've always wondered why they chose the barren wastelands of Colorado to set up shop, but Phil's grandparents being nearby makes it make some sense. They probably would have been better off in a place like Missouri or Illinois, where they can still claim that MAGA Earl is out to get them, but they also have fertile land where alpaca can graze on real grass and they could grow their own food.

 

[Bob_]

How do a bunch of eunuchs rape someone?

One thing the tranch isn't short on are crates of phallic shaped tranformers...

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

This is some bullshittttt lmao. You know how people will keep up appearances to save face? You might have a co-worker who is well dressed, hair and makeup done, but turns out that she's a hoarder and her house is a pig sty, or the wholesome, happy family next door that are just so sweet, but the husband is having an affair and it's tearing them apart. Some people are good at making themselves look better or hiding their bad traits.

But then you have the Tranch. They are incapable of making any aspect of their 'commune' look half way decent. The shots of the house show old appliances strewn around, trucks that won't start, the filthy interior. The actual land is worse with the piles of rotten hay, alpaca shit, and eroded top soil. Jarrod's run down trailer and shower, the tarp barn, the wobbly perimeter fence. The fact that they are in no way self-sustaining with the constant trips to Costco for convenience food, reliance on generators and propane, can't grow any of their own food, don't even grow their own weed.

If this is the best the Tranch has ever been, then it is a failure. Nothing about this project is sustainable, profitable, or a safe haven. They can't even fake it.

It's also wild to me that Paul has a loan on a truck and had no idea that loan wasn't being paid to the point that they repoed it. Maybe my bank is just nice, but I can just log in and see my car loan. How much I owe, how much my next payment is and when it's due. Did he just ignore all of that?

I've always wondered why they chose the barren wastelands of Colorado to set up shop, but Phil's grandparents being nearby makes it make some sense. They probably would have been better off in a place like Missouri or Illinois, where they can still claim that MAGA Earl is out to get them, but they also have fertile land where alpaca can graze on real grass and they could grow their own food.

I suspect he didn’t fucking care but is trying to win points

And none of these fucks have an assumable mortgage on anything so any attempt to refinance would eat them alive as they have no income lol

Shit I’ve known literally drug hippies in the mountains that have done better than this. Maybe if they never had internet it would have worked better (because troons can’t live without internet they’d’ve all left).

 

[Vesperus]

I've always wondered why they chose the barren wastelands of Colorado to set up shop, but Phil's grandparents being nearby makes it make some sense. They probably would have been better off in a place like Missouri or Illinois, where they can still claim that MAGA Earl is out to get them, but they also have fertile land where alpaca can graze on real grass and they could grow their own food.

Either
A: It was never intended to be a functional ranch, just an endless grift that didn't quite pan out, or
B: they are really that retarded they thought "buying" some land and dumping stock on it would make magic money goblins appear.

My money is on B, everyone involved really is that fucking retarded.

What's going to be truly hilarious is when some poor bastard does a survey of the repossessed land and tries to sell it.

 

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

Either
A: It was never intended to be a functional ranch, just an endless grift that didn't quite pan out, or
B: they are really that retarded they thought "buying" some land and dumping stock on it would make magic money goblins appear.

My money is on B, everyone involved really is that fucking retarded.

What's going to be truly hilarious is when some poor bastard does a survey of the repossessed land and tries to sell it.

We should all pool our pocket change and buy the land to turn it into a Kiwifarms museum! Can't DDoS a physical place!

 

[Vesperus]

We should all pool our pocket change and buy the land to turn it into a Kiwifarms museum! Can't DDoS a physical place!

The Joshua Moon Cuddly Animal Sanctuary. With datacenter and redundant uplinks.

Edit: hopefully sponsored by Clorox.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

The Joshua Moon Cuddly Animal Sanctuary. With datacenter and redundant uplinks.

Edit: hopefully sponsored by Clorox.

I was thinking we could gather together, get really drunk, and torch the place.

Burning Tran.

 

[murph]

I was a bit relieved that they didn't shear the alpacas before winter, but Paul worrying about how the "shearers" don't arrive until June or July is sickening.

If you own only 200 alpacas you should be able to shear them yourselves if you have a dozen "ranchers" on the property and it's a DIY operation. Mother of fuck these troons are goddamned stupid.

 

[Souji Tendou]

Alpaca mass grave confirmed!


(a)

---

If you feel compelled to contact law enforcement or animal rescue, you should feel compelled enough to do so without receiving upvotes.

 

[Grift Garrison]

I'm not sure what is more hilarious; that Paul has admitted that Kiwifarms is right or that he's pretending his meth smoking blind robot bird girlfriend could have been a troon trauma counselor to confused men in dresses.

 

[Vesperus]

I was thinking we could gather together, get really drunk, and torch the place.

Burning Tran.

Only after we have gone full CSI/Time Team to document the utter horrors.

Blacklight in the bathroom, ground penetrating radar in the "field".

The people need to know.

 

[Niggerphobe]

Alpaca mass grave confirmed!

View attachment 4163745
(a)

Not even their bodies could bring a single flower on that land

 

[Jon of the Dead]

I was a bit relieved that they didn't shear the alpacas before winter, but Paul worrying about how the "shearers" don't arrive until June or July is sickening.

If you own only 200 alpacas you should be able to shear them yourselves if you have a dozen "ranchers" on the property and it's a DIY operation. Mother of fuck these troons are goddamned stupid.

Same stupidity that thought putting cardboard down, then just dumping topsoil and plants on top would somehow make a garden.

 

[Vesperus]

Alpaca mass grave confirmed!

View attachment 4163745
(a)

Can you actually do that? It's one thing taking Old Yeller out to the back quarter, it's another to go fucking Rwanda on the livestock you're supposed to care for.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Only after we have gone full CSI/Time Team to document the utter horrors.

Blacklight in the bathroom, ground penetrating radar in the "field".

The people need to know.

Take Jack Smith off the Trump case and put him on this.

I'd like seeing Penny in the dock at The Hague.