Old school spinsters - The old women in families that never married and never had kids

[cybertoaster]

I don't think being a spinster its as bad as it used to be, the social condemnation its mostly gone unless you live in the middle of fundieville, and in fact I see women who get married and have kids like right out of highschool have a bigger stigma than spinsters do nowadays, mostly to a combination of the zeitgeist's dogma ("oh so you want to be in the kitchen, pregnant and barefeet?") and the idea that you will be "missing out" on a life that let's be honest in most cases depends more on if you have the wealth to "live it", which is likely why the poor still marry and have kids earlier because its not like they can spend their 20's traveling thru Europe, going to festivals and other hobbies that require a certain level of wealth.

Concerning the career/dedication part, I know a few spinsters from my generation and I'm gonna be frank here: none of them left marriage and kids aside to achieve something of importance. Just like most incels are not gonna be the next Isaac Newton or Nikola Tesla most spinsters wont do much, just like most married people with kids don't amount to much either.

"never felt the touch of a man"

Maybe that was in the past but nowadays many spinsters used to be party girls and they got "touched" alright. Maybe a boomer closeted lesbian, but even back then with the sexual revolution odds are she was with a man and hated it, but still counts.

Our family is huge and quite close emotionally and geographically so they have all the company and support they could ever wish for.

How do you think they would fare if it was the opposite? honest question.

I do think choosing to be a spinster takes HUGE amounts of guts and a complete peace with yourself and I wholly support it.

IDK, seems many spinsters ended up there not out of choice but because things didn't go as planned.

It's the "Tee hee! I'm childfree and FUN! Eww, crotch-goblins!" types that rub me the wrong way.

Its 100% cope, much like anti-incel spaces are full of self-hating incels don't be surprised if many of these childfree kind aren't actually "involuntary childless".

I come from a long line of people who should've never had kids, me choosing not to reproduce both keeps me out of prison and is doing the world a favor.

Genetic problems?

 

[Android raptor]

Genetic problems?

I guess that's how you could describe a metric fuckton of mental illness and abuse lmao

 

[Dark Horse]

Spinsterhood is very hard from a financial point of view and I am very lucky to be able to live this way.
I see very few relationships where the couple genuinely get along and so many women in abusive relationships and forced marriages. It is lonely sometimes but I have good friends at that is enough for me.

 

[gampboonerisms]

Spinsterhood is very hard from a financial point of view and I am very lucky to be able to live this way.
I see very few relationships where the couple genuinely get along and so many women in abusive relationships and forced marriages. It is lonely sometimes but I have good friends at that is enough for me.

I feel that. For me, it gets a little hard emotionally sometimes cause I never 'want to admit weakness' or ask for help. But I've gotten to know some really good people lately and I feel good knowing I'm not stuck in a bad relationship.

 

[glass_houses]

I'm simply incapable of a romantic relationship. It's not uncommon with individuals with a neurological disorder like mine. And those of my co-horts that are, are frequently targeted by abusive partners.

It's common in my family for our brain function to go before our physical health, and I'm determined to kill put me out of my own misery once I start declining, so I won't have to worry about who's going to take care of me when I get old or anything like that.

 

[cybertoaster]

I guess that's how you could describe a metric fuckton of mental illness and abuse lmao

Mental illness can be hereditary, as for abuse you can be a better mother than yours was.

Spinsterhood is very hard from a financial point of view and I am very lucky to be able to live this way.
I see very few relationships where the couple genuinely get along and so many women in abusive relationships and forced marriages. It is lonely sometimes but I have good friends at that is enough for me.

Given current graduate and employment data I would say being a forever bachelor is way harder financially-speaking than being a spinster.

 

[ShortPoppy]

Concerning the career/dedication part, I know a few spinsters from my generation and I'm gonna be frank here: none of them left marriage and kids aside to achieve something of importance. Just like most incels are not gonna be the next Isaac Newton or Nikola Tesla most spinsters wont do much, just like most married people with kids don't amount to much either.

Well, yeah. Only a very small % of the entire human population would have Newton/Tesla potential, I would think. Becoming an actual genius isn't the endgame of celibacy though. For many it's about being free to give the best part of themselves to their life's work, to the best of their capacity, whether or not that's something history will remember. Hopefully, their colleagues and friends will.

So it's never sat well with me when people look down on the single/child-free as selfish hedonists. No doubt a lot of spinsters/bachelors are, but there are also the ones who chose that life specifically because it gives them more scope to strive for something greater than themselves.
Basically, I find the notion of having kids as the ultimate act of love, selflessness and compassion pretty questionable, given that this selflessness is really only exercised on a very small few intimately connected to the self.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Having kids just because you are socially pressured or only want someone to burden when you are older are very common arguments and i kinda worry for the kids those people will have. So much pearl clutching criticizicing people who don't reproduce and they come up with the most cynical takes on why they want kids, like "my political side needs X amount more consumer units ". That mentality leads to a lot of loveless homes.

 

[Precocious Halfwit]

Concerning the career/dedication part, I know a few spinsters from my generation and I'm gonna be frank here: none of them left marriage and kids aside to achieve something of importance. Just like most incels are not gonna be the next Isaac Newton or Nikola Tesla most spinsters wont do much, just like most married people with kids don't amount to much either.

How do you think they would fare if it was the opposite? honest question.

IDK, seems many spinsters ended up there not out of choice but because things didn't go as planned.

Its 100% cope, much like anti-incel spaces are full of self-hating incels don't be surprised if many of these childfree kind aren't actually "involuntary childless".

I'm sorry, I still haven't figured out how to clip specific quotes to address them separately like you did on your post so I'm having to reply by cutting your post to pieces and addressing things one by one Hope that's okay!

1. Not everyone who chooses to forego having a family does it because they believe they're a genius or that they have a higher purpose. Of course some will, but there are tons of other reasons, many of which have been brought up in this thread.

2. If my aunts didn't have lots of family around them? Hard to say as I've never quizzed them about it, but I think they'd be satisfied with their lives. One of them is very well-travelled and works with refugees and the other one, while being more of a homebody, has a large social circle. I don't know their plans for later life (because let's face it, too many people ask us 'who'll look after you when you're old?' as if children are born to be our homemade caretakers) but they're intelligent women so I assume they would have plans if they didn't have the family.

3. Of course, but that's why I said 'choosing to be a spinster'. Having it imposed on you is entirely different and I do genuinely feel for women who yearn to be mothers and are unable.

4. Definitely agree on this one. Lots of those folk could well be saying the equivalent of 'well fuck you, life, I didn't want a gross smelly kid anyway!' Maybe some people just don't like being around children and that's fine, but with the really hateful ones that speak of 'crotchfruit' etc, I think 'who are you trying to convince?'

 

[56 others]

When I was a youngin (10), I and other kids used to be babysat by this 60yo spinster from my church. I can tell you firsthand she was a spinster because she was a bitch. She had no idea how to deal with kids, however she kept the autistic kids in line thru sheer fear

 

[a feel]

I guess that's how you could describe a metric fuckton of mental illness and abuse lmao

My family is much the same, and I chose to not have children for the same reason. I don't want people in my personal space, and I'm living my best life with reliable friends and as much time for hobbies or gay internet forums as I want. Wouldn't trade for a husband and/or kids ever.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Even if you see kids as the best thing to happen to someone in a personal happiness meter way, the kid is still a person. Your friend could be happy, but their kid could have a lacking or unhappy childhood. And it doesn't help maturity of your friend either: some people grow up when they have kids, others still party (see lolcows) or straight up abandon them.

The kid isn't an item or a 12 step program to better days, it's a human that forms it's own opinions and responses to stimuli and needs help to learn how to sustain itself, just like you did.

 

[Android raptor]

Mental illness can be hereditary, as for abuse you can be a better mother than yours was.

I would be about as good a mother as Andrea Yates.

Some people aren't meant to be mothers. I'm one of them.

Having kids just because you are socially pressured or only want someone to burden when you are older are very common arguments and i kinda worry for the kids those people will have. So much pearl clutching criticizicing people who don't reproduce and they come up with the most cynical takes on why they want kids, like "my political side needs X amount more consumer units ". That mentality leads to a lot of loveless homes.

And dying alone because kids from those kinds of homes frequently cut contact as adults.

I always laugh when people think having kids will prevent you from dying alone. If anything, having kids solely because you want to use them as unpaid caregivers when you're old greatly increases the likelihood of dying alone.

As much as people say having kids is selfless, a lot of people had kids for completely self-centered reasons and the kids suffer as a result.

 

[retard strength]

Cool Spinster Aunt: likes to hang out with you, "the fun aunt", cool stories, does neat stuff, trustworthy confidant for life problems, has friendly pets (maybe cool unusual pets like reptiles or birds) to play with, pays you to housesit her place with the big tv, "help yourself to anything, here's money to order a pizza!"

Bitter childless aunt: angry, lives in a shithole, reeks of cat piss and/or smoke, source of passive-aggressive dramatics at family gatherings, vocally hates kids and calls you a filthy grimy little shit even into your teen years, chronic weed or rx pill addiction

Ho Aunt: hate going to her place, overly familiar and affectionate with you, asks invasive inappropriate questions about your dating life at 11 years old, leaves with random men while supposedly babysitting you so now you have to babysit her shithead kids, filthy

 

[std::string]

I always laugh when people think having kids will prevent you from dying alone. If anything, having kids solely because you want to use them as unpaid caregivers when you're old greatly increases the likelihood of dying alone.

Considering all the granny dumping that went on when I worked in the emergency department I'm gonna go ahead and say yeah your kids will just yeet you and never look back.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Considering all the granny dumping that went on when I worked in the emergency department I'm gonna go ahead and say yeah your kids will just yeet you and never look back.

someone should do a long study on these troons , furfags and antifa weirdos that pollute the internet now on what kind of family background they have. A lot seem to be at least middle class and well off enough to afford higher education. You could raise a kid in a conservative suburb with all the comfort and ammenities and still get a genderspecial junkie that chooses every wrong thing in life as a rebellion against you.

 

[Android raptor]

someone should do a long study on these troons , furfags and antifa weirdos that pollute the internet now on what kind of family background they have. A lot seem to be at least middle class and well off enough to afford higher education. You could raise a kid in a conservative suburb with all the comfort and ammenities and still get a genderspecial junkie that chooses every wrong thing in life as a rebellion against you.

If you treat your kids like shit, what do you expect?

I've said it before on the farms, but I sure as fuck am not doing anything for my living parent when she gets old. I'm sure I'm not the only person here in that position either (I know I'm not the only farmer with an NPD ir otherwise fucked up parent). Kids don't ask to be born and if you choose to have them even though you can't take proper care of then, don't be surprised when you still end up dying alone.

 

[Jacob Schiff]

someone should do a long study on these troons , furfags and antifa weirdos that pollute the internet now on what kind of family background they have. A lot seem to be at least middle class and well off enough to afford higher education. You could raise a kid in a conservative suburb with all the comfort and ammenities and still get a genderspecial junkie that chooses every wrong thing in life as a rebellion against you.

Parental income does seem to influence sexuality of children, for whatever reason. Low income groups have the highest frequencies of homo- and bisexuality. High income groups have slightly lower frequencies, while the middle class have the lowest frequencies.

 

[KooksandFreaks]

You should check up on them, OP.

 

[NoReturn]

Parental income does seem to influence sexuality of children, for whatever reason. Low income groups have the highest frequencies of homo- and bisexuality. High income groups have slightly lower frequencies, while the middle class have the lowest frequencies.

Class values probably play a role in the "nurture" element of sexuality.