Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny - Using time travel to literally retcon the series

Hijo de Dang Woodchucks! said:
And he's getting killed off here, too. Deckard is the only character he played with a sort-of happy ending now.
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I mean, Bob Falfa from American Graffiti became a monotone traffic cop in San Francisco as far as we know. That’s kinda happy? In “Six Days and Seven Nights”, his character got the girl at the end as they walk towards his home/shack on the beach, so that’s kind of happy too?

Even when Ford’s characters get happy endings, he’s just generally grumpy. Like Clint Eastwood but less based.
 
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naaaaiiiiillllll!!! said:
I mean, Bob Falfa from American Graffiti became a monotone traffic cop in San Francisco as far as we know. That’s kinda happy? In “Six Days and Seven Nights”, his character got the girl at the end as they walk towards his home/shack on the beach, so that’s kind of happy too?

Even when Ford’s characters get happy endings, he’s just generally grumpy. Like Clint Eastwood but less based.
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He also saved his family in Air Force One. That may be a happy ending even though we don't see what became of his presidency afterwards.
 
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naaaaiiiiillllll!!! said:
I mean, Bob Falfa from American Graffiti became a monotone traffic cop in San Francisco as far as we know. That’s kinda happy? In “Six Days and Seven Nights”, his character got the girl at the end as they walk towards his home/shack on the beach, so that’s kind of happy too?

Even when Ford’s characters get happy endings, he’s just generally grumpy. Like Clint Eastwood but less based.
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Imagine if he took the lead role in Deep Rising instead of Treat Williams
 
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naaaaiiiiillllll!!! said:
I mean, Bob Falfa from American Graffiti became a monotone traffic cop in San Francisco as far as we know. That’s kinda happy? In “Six Days and Seven Nights”, his character got the girl at the end as they walk towards his home/shack on the beach, so that’s kind of happy too?

Even when Ford’s characters get happy endings, he’s just generally grumpy. Like Clint Eastwood but less based.
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Considering Star Wars ended at Return of the Jedi, I'd say Han Solo got a happy ending too.
 
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Do you think Indiana Jones can even work in the 21st century global marketplace?
I kind of feel that xenophobia is a necessary component of adventure serials. These movies were made in America for a mostly white American audience. The stories were about going to terrifying places with xenophobic natives that would kill a white person without hesitation. The audience felt this terror and apprehension.

And today we have pajeets on TV and the internet whining about Temple of Doom. That it misrepresented their culture or something and how it's some kind of travesty. But that movie wasn't made for them. Similarly, when Crystal Skull came out I saw some people online whining that the extras were speaking the wrong dialect of Quechua in South America. Again, these movies aren't supposed to be a realistic travelog documentary.

I don't know how they can keep these movies culturally sensitive and entertaining at the same time. I don't see how it would be possible.
 
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mindlessobserver said:
I've always thought the Staff of Moses would also make a great Indiana Jones adventure. In Exodus, when Moses dies, God literally takes Moses' body and buries it himself. Imagine Jones trying to find a tomb built by God himself!

Also imagine the climactic scene. Indy is running from the big bad with the sraff in one hand and the love interest in the other and they come up to a body of water. Trapped! He looks out at the water, exhausted desperation on his face. Looks down at the staff. "Noooo..." he mutters exasperated. Looks back, bad guys getting closer. Looks back at the water and slowly raises the staff....

Shit. If I can do this why is it so God damn hard for Hollywood?
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The staff is in the ark of the covenant and he already found that, right?
Also it's called "the staff of God" at least once in the Bible, which sounds really hardcore, but probably a bit too on the nose.
 
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Puff said:
The staff is in the ark of the covenant and he already found that, right?
Also it's called "the staff of God" at least once in the Bible, which sounds really hardcore, but probably a bit too on the nose.
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Nah, the staff in the first movie was just a staff, not moses'
 
Travoltron said:
Do you think Indiana Jones can even work in the 21st century global marketplace?
I kind of feel that xenophobia is a necessary component of adventure serials. These movies were made in America for a mostly white American audience. The stories were about going to terrifying places with xenophobic natives that would kill a white person without hesitation. The audience felt this terror and apprehension.

And today we have pajeets on TV and the internet whining about Temple of Doom. That it misrepresented their culture or something and how it's some kind of travesty. But that movie wasn't made for them. Similarly, when Crystal Skull came out I saw some people online whining that the extras were speaking the wrong dialect of Quechua in South America. Again, these movies aren't supposed to be a realistic travelog documentary.

I don't know how they can keep these movies culturally sensitive and entertaining at the same time. I don't see how it would be possible.
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It's not. Pulp Adventure Fiction comes from a time when men could win societal approval by being heroic. (Foreign villains didn't have to be brown - they could be Nazis or space aliens as well. Making them brown was usually done out of laziness or to make the setting seem more exotic.) Characters like Indiana Jones and James Bond were self-insert power fantasies for boys who liked to think of themselves as the cool guy of action who would get the girl. But then life got soft, and suddenly male heroicism was seen as aggressive and toxic. Feminists and soyjacks didn't like the idea of societal rewards being behind a paywall of hard effort and good looks, since they themselves were too lazy to put in the work. They wanted "oppressed groups" to be naturally powerful and amazing without having to work for it, and media that shows otherwise is seen as problematic.

Modern day filmmakers aren't making adventure/genre films based on old franchises because they loved the old movies and want to make money appealing to the older fans. They're deliberately setting out to destroy the franchises in the most hurtful way possible, to punish wrongthinkers and the testosterone-poisoned.
 
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Puff said:
I'm saying that biblically i think it's in the ark. I'm not an Indy fan, but I think he did the ark already.
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Actually, it's Aaron's staff

Hebrews 9:4 (ESV)
4 having the golden altar of incense and the ark of the covenant covered on all sides with gold, in which was a golden urn holding the manna, and Aaron's staff that budded, and the tablets of the covenant.
 
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Kane Lives said:
I didn't mind Shia's character necessarily, but Shia himself lacks any sort of charisma. I don't even remember what his name is lmao. If he were to be recast, then I can see it working. Someone who actually inherited Ford's charm, or at least a reasonable facsimile.
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I KNOW THE RIGHT MAN FOR THIS JOB!

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Rome's rightful successor said:
Fuck no! He can't act even to save his life.
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I thought so too until I saw Hail, Caesar! There he plays an actor who strongly resembles but is legally distinct from Roy Rogers, and he's one of the best parts of the movie. I don't know what went wrong with Solo, but I'm guessing that the change in directors has something to do with it.
 
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