Spunt's helpful guide to Britain for fat Americans - Learn about Anglos so you can hate them better

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.

What should I cover next?

  • The BBC

    Votes: 40 51.3%
  • Sportsball

    Votes: 10 12.8%
  • Education

    Votes: 23 29.5%
  • Culture

    Votes: 19 24.4%
  • Something else?

    Votes: 3 3.8%
  • Kys Anglo faggot retard nigger

    Votes: 13 16.7%

  • Total voters
    78
  • Poll closed .
Spunt, thank you so much for this thread. Extremely well written and immensely informative, and that's not even to mention how damn funny you made it. Anyway, I ran into this post from Reddit on Twitter (the account was already redacted). Spunt's NHS post summed up in a single image.
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@Spunt thank you for this. Specifically on Margaret Thatcher. Every Brit or Scott I've watched either is for or against, mentions the strike crackdown but never really what the fuck happened, and really just never explains anything. I finally know. You say she I'd like trump, and in many ways she is, but personally, I'd compare her to another. Abraham Lincoln.

What do I mean by this? He was the president during the American Civil War, that did some shit. No I'm not talking about ending slavery or the countless dead. I'm talking about the enormous expansion of state power to contain the south. Pretty well every major executive bullshit that the President, and thus, the Executive arm of the state, can be traced back to him. It was for a Noble cause, the country was about to self destruct, Britain- you guys- were planning to invade if he didnt win, so he pulled out all the stops, and moblized the entire country for war production, a first in industrial history. And if you ask me, visiting his tomb personally, I'd feel he would have put the genie back in the lamp. Then he got shot. Funny that. Almost the same as Thatcher getting pushed out when she was no longer useful.
 
I know it may be late for @Spunt to talk about the subject but it'd be nice if anyone may explain Britain's curious relationship with alcoholism. I mean, I'm aware that places like America, Russia or Scandinavia have serious alcoholism and drug addiction problems in their midst, but the UK seems to be so fucking proud about being a bunch of drunkards.
 
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I know it may be late for @Spunt to talk about the subject but it'd be nice if anyone may explain Britain's curious relationship with alcoholism. I mean, I'm aware that places like America, Russia or Scandinavia have serious alcoholism and drug addiction problems in their midst, but the UK seems to be so fucking proud about being a bunch of drunkards.
I was going to mention this in a later post, but here's one hell of a study:


A study of people in the Bristol area (which is one of the less boozy cities in the UK) found that:

- 79% of women drank while pregnant
- 17% of their children had diagnosable Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder
- The most common subtype was "neurodevelopmental"

I think our out-of-control drinking culture is one of the main reasons why we suck so badly as a nation. to the extent that 1 in 6 of us is a diagnosable tard because of it. And like I said, that study was from Bristol. I dread to think what the equivalent figures would be in Newcastle or Glasgow.

It's not a quantity thing either - our consumption per capita isn't that high compared to the rest of Europe - we're well behind the Irish and the Germans, and a long way short of the reigning champs, the Lithuanians (if I lived in Lithuania I'd drink myself to death too). It's more why we drink and how we drink - we stay sober all week then drink insane quantities every Friday and Saturday night. We drink to forget, we drink to fight, and we don't stop when we're pregnant.

EDIT: A serving Metropolitan Police officer has just admitted 49 sexual offences including 24 rapes. Still, it's easy to be an armchair critic.
 
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we stay sober all week then drink insane quantities every Friday and Saturday night. We drink to forget, we drink to fight, and we don't stop when we're pregnant.
And it's been this way since the Normans. The English have traditionally been called "les goddams" by the French, because they swear all the time, and have been long known as alcoholic, fighty bastards.

My suspicion is that it began as a form of defiance against the landlords and the aristos, who imposed all sorts of behavioural codes on the formerly free men they obtained under the conquest, which eventualy evolved into "overlooking" a certain amount of carousing at certain times and days in exchange for not being torn apart by a mob. The culture of imposed sobriety, punctuated by binge-drinking and low-level criminality on the off-days, kind of stuck around even after its original impetus was long gone. Just a hypothesis, though. I can't prove it.
 
I was going to mention this in a later post, but here's one hell of a study:


A study of people in the Bristol area (which is one of the less boozy cities in the UK) found that:

- 79% of women drank while pregnant
- 17% of their children had diagnosable Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder
- The most common subtype was "neurodevelopmental"

I think our out-of-control drinking culture is one of the main reasons why we suck so badly as a nation. to the extent that 1 in 6 of us is a diagnosable tard because of it. And like I said, that study was from Bristol. I dread to think what the equivalent figures would be in Newcastle or Glasgow.

It's not a quantity thing either - our consumption per capita isn't that high compared to the rest of Europe - we're well behind the Irish and the Germans, and a long way short of the reigning champs, the Lithuanians (if I lived in Lithuania I'd drink myself to death too). It's more why we drink and how we drink - we stay sober all week then drink insane quantities every Friday and Saturday night. We drink to forget, we drink to fight, and we don't stop when we're pregnant.

EDIT: A serving Metropolitan Police officer has just admitted 49 sexual offences including 24 rapes. Still, it's easy to be an armchair critic.
Did you guys ever undergo some kind of prohibitionist culture? Like, when us Yanks averaged a handle of hard liquor every few days it kicked off a national movement that simultaneously drew attention to an issue/utterly failed at fixing it. From my limited understanding of British history no similar movement happened.
 
Did you guys ever undergo some kind of prohibitionist culture? Like, when us Yanks averaged a handle of hard liquor every few days it kicked off a national movement that simultaneously drew attention to an issue/utterly failed at fixing it. From my limited understanding of British history no similar movement happened.
No, that has never happened. Even the stupidest elite has always known this would cause nationwide riots, and perhaps guillotines.

I think If there's a Muslim takeover of the UK, that will be what sparks a civil war.
 
In European history the elites and nobility have encouraged the plebs to drink themselves into a stupor so that they'd be nice and placid, so no, they haven't tried to ban alcohol. What they have tried to ban however is coffee. Coffee didn't put their subjects into a drunken stupor, but instead made the peasants animated and had them gather in groups in order to discuss a subject that absolutely terrified the upper classes; politics.
 
How would you begin to solve the UK's problems?

I don't think I have ever heard a politian talk coherently about the future of the country - about anything really - but especially about geopolitics.. It's a shame because if the UK had its finances in order and, more importantly, a fleet, the UK would be in an excellent position to fill the power vacuum after the Americans have entirely finished with the global system. I think we're almost there.

Here's the plan: Britain acts as a broker between North African goods and European services - a kind of soft trading empire without conquering the natives. The countries of the Ivory Coast remain independent and can sell their goods abroad but with a strong preference for the British and European market. You buy up commodites from the Ivory Coast in exchange for keep the shores free of pirates. Those countries cannot continue to develop without a foreign power guaranteeing their shipping. The UK also sells them technology and advanced manufactured goods from Europe. As a result, Britain has much cheaper food and energy prices. And all of it would be at the expense of the East Asians.

Many immigrant groups, who are currently a burden, would become an asset. You need people fluent in local languages to make these kinds of trade relationships possible.

Beyond this kind of wishful thinking, what would you do? American vassal? Break up the UK and form an Atlantic Union?
 
Beyond this kind of wishful thinking, what would you do? American vassal? Break up the UK and form an Atlantic Union?
20 years ago, my thoughts were along the lines of forming soft alliances with other peripheral nations, like Norway and Sweden, drawing back toward a more outward-looking, scandic alignment and away from the french-continental orientation the isles have held for the last few centuries. I was an idealist. Right now my thoughts are more along the lines of reversing the relationship between the state and the people, promoting more local democracy, separation of the executive and the legislature, reduction of the power of the bureacratic state and things like that. Grand visions of how the UK interacts with the world are an entertaining diversion, but they're less than pipe dreams until ultimate authority over the nations of the union has been restored to its rightful place, in the hands of the people.
 
20 years ago, my thoughts were along the lines of forming soft alliances with other peripheral nations, like Norway and Sweden, drawing back toward a more outward-looking, scandic alignment and away from the french-continental orientation the isles have held for the last few centuries. I was an idealist. Right now my thoughts are more along the lines of reversing the relationship between the state and the people, promoting more local democracy, separation of the executive and the legislature, reduction of the power of the bureacratic state and things like that. Grand visions of how the UK interacts with the world are an entertaining diversion, but they're less than pipe dreams until ultimate authority over the nations of the union has been restored to its rightful place, in the hands of the people.
Yeah, seconding this. We could have been like Norway, but on a bigger scale, but right now that's like the owners of the Titanic thinking about fitting it out with a swimming pool while it's busy sinking.

Any plan or strategy to fix the UK would require a vastly more competent and organised machinery of state than the UK has. It would also require more money than we have. The British state is essentially bankrupt - subsidising wages during the pandemic pretty much emptied the coffers and maxed out all the lines of credit. We couldn't even afford £30bn of tax cuts, which isn't all that much given the government's annual spend is £1.5tn - it would have caused a run on government bonds that would have resulted in an economic disaster on the scale of the 1929 Wall Street Crash. We came within days of total collapse because of one idiot politician.

The British State is so bankrupt and dysfunctional that the only way it will be rebuilt will be if the entire global capital system implodes - which I think will happen eventually, but it won't be any fun to experience first-hand, especially here - nothing works right here at the best of times and we all hate each other. An economic crisis would get very violent very quickly as the state tries to cling with more and more brutal repression, there will be food riots, racial pogroms and a lot of dead. And there's no guarantee that whatever new order rises from that will be any better than the old one.

That's why I'm emigrating.
 
No, that has never happened. Even the stupidest elite has always known this would cause nationwide riots, and perhaps guillotines.

I think If there's a Muslim takeover of the UK, that will be what sparks a civil war.

It did happen though. The Gin Act of 1751 made the purchase of gin out of the reach for the average working man when the standards before was penny drams on every street corner. This was the direct result of Britain's own temperance movement where they were concerned everyone was getting hopped up on dangerous bathtub liquor and eventually ended in riots.
 
The British State is so bankrupt and dysfunctional that the only way it will be rebuilt will be if the entire global capital system implodes - which I think will happen eventually, but it won't be any fun to experience first-hand, especially here - nothing works right here at the best of times and we all hate each other. An economic crisis would get very violent very quickly as the state tries to cling with more and more brutal repression, there will be food riots, racial pogroms and a lot of dead. And there's no guarantee that whatever new order rises from that will be any better than the old one.

That's why I'm emigrating.
Very true. But it seems to me that the global capital system is about to implode. Russia vs Ukraine. Arabia vs Iran. Turkey vs Greece/Syria/Iraq/Russia? China being punished by God again. Macron and Scholz are not talking. The Germans are busy exporting all of their manufacturing industry to Louisiana. I am not saying Britain is going to become any better but that Old World might about to go through a Roman Empire style collaspe. Once the inputs for global agriculture disappear, everyone is going to fend for themselves. In that case, the bar will have been sufficiently lowered that Skegness, might, MIGHT, seem less like a mislaid concentration camp.

I'm not saying that the sclerotic nomenklatura will be replaced - far from it. But it's better to be stuck on this island than to serve up your neighbour as bushmeat. Or even better, as you said, to leave.
 
It did happen though. The Gin Act of 1751 made the purchase of gin out of the reach for the average working man when the standards before was penny drams on every street corner. This was the direct result of Britain's own temperance movement where they were concerned everyone was getting hopped up on dangerous bathtub liquor and eventually ended in riots.
It's one thing to make booze too expensive for the poor man to be able to buy...they will accept that, grumble but accept. It's entirely a different thing to outright ban it for moral reasons, and no one would stand for it. A poor man can imagine becoming rich, but give him no path to a pint at all, however unobtainable, and there will trouble.
 
It's one thing to make booze too expensive for the poor man to be able to buy...they will accept that, grumble but accept. It's entirely a different thing to outright ban it for moral reasons, and no one would stand for it. A poor man can imagine becoming rich, but give him no path to a pint at all, however unobtainable, and there will trouble.

...Pricing something out of the reach of most people is effectively banning it if they had a way of reliably getting it cheaply before lol. The reason why gin was so popular in the first place was because food tampering was rampant in the UK at the start of the industrial revolution until the beginning of the 1900s. That meant the beer they had was commonly: Watered down, spoiled and 'freshened up' with alum, or laced with a chemical meant to kill fish which would mimic the effects of drunkenness without actually producing real beer. The working man got fucked in all holes when it came to booze.
 
It's one thing to make booze too expensive for the poor man to be able to buy...they will accept that, grumble but accept. It's entirely a different thing to outright ban it for moral reasons, and no one would stand for it. A poor man can imagine becoming rich, but give him no path to a pint at all, however unobtainable, and there will trouble.
I can go months and months without drinking anything and not feel the urge, despite my small collection of gin... and every time a doctor tells me, "You can't drink on this medication/while waiting for this test/until x goes down," I have to physically restrain myself from legging it to the nearest pub. I then crave alcohol like an addict craves heroin for the duration of the restraint period, and then when it's over, I suddenly stop wanting that drink and forget that I even did.

Tell me that you were taking all alcohol away from me for life, and I'll skin your cat and burn your entire fucking town to the ground.

Nothing provokes desire like being told you can't have something.
 
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