Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.0%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 784 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,381
I’ve watched a lot of Jack’s vlogs where he’ll go to fast food places and then sit in the parking lot in his car while eating like an animal (he eats really gross). He’ll sometimes have his wife with him as well and I get strong impressions his wife really hates him and is only sticking out to collect life insurance.

I’ve also seen his vacation vlogs where he’s the embodiment of every social faux pas imaginable mainly making people uncomfortable or complaining that food aren’t gluttonously loaded with bacon or other shit. Sometimes he’ll complain about inane stuff and drive his wife up a wall as they’re out and about. He is quite an interesting character from what I’ve seen.
His eating style sure is bewildering to look at, and how he nonchalantly does it literally anywhere he goes. He either does not care (which is a little paradoxical, because all nay saying gets below his skin very easily) or he does care but doesn't want to do anything about it. This also parallels to how he behaves socially, by being generally a somewhat asshole personality with heaping tablespoon of narcissism in the mix.
 
I wonder what high scores his blood work reach nowadays. But nevertheless, those 2013 scores spell that his blood should be quite toxic now, considering his inaptitude to change anything in his life when it comes to consuming meat and grease like starving caveman.
Jack is absolutely retarded about his attempts to be healthy. He cut out sugar, replacing it with sugar substitute, but continues to be keto by eating large amounts of carbs but piling it with even more cheese and fatty meat than before.

He clearly has no idea about how food gets broken down in the body, but he is making giant strives towards another stroke and diabetes taking limbs.
 
Jack is absolutely retarded about his attempts to be healthy. He cut out sugar, replacing it with sugar substitute, but continues to be keto by eating large amounts of carbs but piling it with even more cheese and fatty meat than before.

He clearly has no idea about how food gets broken down in the body, but he is making giant strives towards another stroke and diabetes taking limbs.
True. A man at his age should little consider their metabolic abilities, and Jack clearly gives no second thought consuming more than most people in one day in one sitting.
 
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No chili but there's Sriracha sauce there. I know he's retarded but that's really got to be some classic mushbrain right there.

And everything in this is wrong. From the start to the end it's just one misstep after another. As I said I learned to make this because of this one Hakka place we used to order from would serve it and it was great. What's Hakka? It's an area of China with an Indian influence sometimes to the point of being known as "Indian Chinese" or a fusion of the two. But he's using actual soy sauce this time. That looked like a bottle of Kikkoman Low Sodium to me. So there's a win although you lose some of the flavor.

Chili Chicken, when done properly, is savory and spicy and has those Asian flavors you really like. This wasn't done properly because he's missing the key ingredient which are actual chili peppers. Use thai finger chilis if you want it really hot or serrano peppers if you want it less hot and jalapenos if you're a wimp.


To me, the Tower Garden series has always seemed bizarrely out of place in the Jackiverse.
It's part of the Jagoff Prepper Saga. He, like a lot of Christians in his area, believe that the world is going to go so shit due to the Antichrist coming back and ruling for 7 years. The first half will show immense growth and prosperity for all then he breaks the covenant, declares martial law and Christians will be rounded up and sent to FEMA camps to be killed. This is why he pushed the tower garden, a place far out in the woods where he, TamHam, Jr & Jr could live and wait it out until Jesus comes back. Then he started the food dehydrator saga so he's all about freeze drying and storing food as a hedge for when this finally happens.
 

To me, the Tower Garden series has always seemed bizarrely out of place in the Jackiverse.
I know Fatty has a stroked out mushbrain, but they actually tricked his stupid ass with that teabag nonsense? No shit a dry teabag barely covered in water will do anything, the water has barely come in contact with the damn tea inside it.

And of course this kangen water shit is a giant scam. The website just reeks of MLM and bullshit pseudo-science.

All this seems to be is an electrolosys machine that breaks down h2o... but if that happens and you just get elemental oxygen and hydrogen? how the hell does this have anything to do with pH and antioxidants? Oh wait, it's a fucking scam.
 
I know Fatty has a stroked out mushbrain, but they actually tricked his stupid ass with that teabag nonsense? No shit a dry teabag barely covered in water will do anything, the water has barely come in contact with the damn tea inside it.

And of course this kangen water shit is a giant scam. The website just reeks of MLM and bullshit pseudo-science.

All this seems to be is an electrolosys machine that breaks down h2o... but if that happens and you just get elemental oxygen and hydrogen? how the hell does this have anything to do with pH and antioxidants? Oh wait, it's a fucking scam.
There's multiple studies showing low levels of hydrogen gas or H2 rich water have antioxidant and anti-inflammatory effects. Whether or not that machine works I have no clue, but that's the idea behind it.
 
Those things haven't sold for shit and they've been sitting in inventory for so long, I'm sure that's why they took then down. They've got to be expired by now anyways. Isn't Jack's own garage inventory expired too? I think they're all the same batch.
 
Jesus Christ, he looks like a severely retarded, voraciously cock-hungry muppet.


I don't really think it's about carbs. Jack just resents bread.
Correction- bread that isn’t completely smothered in fatty meat, cheese, and grease.


To me, the Tower Garden series has always seemed bizarrely out of place in the Jackiverse.
Eh, we got a decent soyjack out of it…
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So I was looking through old Cooking with Hack episodes and saw a video titled "Jack's Blood Work results". He posted his labwork from October 2013 and then February 2014. He supposedly "cut out" red meat from his diet during the period in between and replaced it with more poultry, fish and whole grains.



Now based on him becoming full fledged diabetic in this time period ( >6.5) , Jagoff concluded that red meat had no impact on his diabetes and cholesterol and blamed it all on the carbs and announced his intention to go on a "low carb diet" while reintroducing red meat to his diet. Now I'm sure you guys know that there isn't a snowballs chance in hell that Jack went 5 months without eating red meat and you would be correct. Here is what he was up to around the time he had eliminated red meat from his diet:



Nice experiment, Jack. You really showed us that carbs are evil. Is this the origin of Jagoffs constant vilification of carbs being unhealthy while red meat/cheese being "gud"? Anyways Jack promised to post his repeat results after going on his "low carb" diet in 4 months time. He never did. :story:
jack is technically right about that. meat and cheese have virtually no insulin impact
 
jack is technically right about that. meat and cheese have virtually no insulin impact
That is not really correct. Compared to high carb foods eating meat and cheese can be said to have "virtually" no impact on glycemic impact but not insulin. Eating high fat diets has been shown to promote insulin resistance and plays a role in developing diabetes even though the blood sugars don't spike as much as they would with a high carb diet.

The issue here is that Jack consumes more than his fair share of carbs and the vast majority of his diet over that time period was meat and cheese. He is just BSing for the camera as always. His increased A1C could be attributed to his excessive consumption of, well, everything. The pathogenesis of Type 2 Diabetes is so damn complex that anyone telling you that eating carbs and grains caused their A1C to go from 6.3 to 7.7 is either dumb or trying to shill for some weird diet regimen.

In Jack's case he is a fatass, eats like a walrus, has hypertension and has decades worth visceral fat accumulated on his gut. Every single of those things promote insulin resistance. Also they have done meta-analyses and diabetics that ate low carb diets compared to diabetics that ate high carb diets lowered their A1C by like only 0.3. Not by like 1.5 like Jagoff concluded with his "experiment".
 
Looks like fat Jr is preparing for his my 600 hundred pound life appearance   
View attachment 4312191


You'd think with how much of a wannabe hoodrat Jr is, he wouldn't be as much of a limp-wristed faggot and at least care to keep up his vanity muscles. Even those are gone. Is his plan for creeping on the church boys now to bring the best candy to sunday school?
 
And of course this kangen water shit is a giant scam. The website just reeks of MLM and bullshit pseudo-science.
All this seems to be is an electrolosys machine that breaks down h2o... but if that happens and you just get elemental oxygen and hydrogen? how the hell does this have anything to do with pH and antioxidants? Oh wait, it's a fucking scam.
Of course it's a scam. I mean think about it. Alkaline water hits your stomach where there's acid. Acid + base = neutralized. In other words it does nothing.

But this is also nothing new because there's been a lot of woo concerning water for a long time. The one that caught my eye years ago was "Penta water". This is still going strong. Basically they take water, do something to it, and it... reduces the size of the clumps of water. Yes. According to them water flows in "clumps" and in doing whatever to it it breaks these clumps up, makes it easier for the water to get to your cells and blah blah blah quantum bullshit blah blah blah new age.

It's all bullshit but stupid people will accept just about anything if you make vague health claims and add sciency sounding words to it.

Then you get the idiots that buy water as a fashion accessory. Ever hear of "Bling H2O"? It's $35+ a bottle and it has crystals all over it which is where the cost comes from.

Looks like fat Jr is preparing for his my 600 hundred pound life appearance   
View attachment 4312191
It's not just the pile of plates but he looks bloated. And the whole hat and hoodie thing doesn't make him look like less of a dirtbag.
 
Of course it's a scam. I mean think about it. Alkaline water hits your stomach where there's acid. Acid + base = neutralized. In other words it does nothing.

But this is also nothing new because there's been a lot of woo concerning water for a long time. The one that caught my eye years ago was "Penta water". This is still going strong. Basically they take water, do something to it, and it... reduces the size of the clumps of water. Yes. According to them water flows in "clumps" and in doing whatever to it it breaks these clumps up, makes it easier for the water to get to your cells and blah blah blah quantum bullshit blah blah blah new age.

It's all bullshit but stupid people will accept just about anything if you make vague health claims and add sciency sounding words to it.

Then you get the idiots that buy water as a fashion accessory. Ever hear of "Bling H2O"? It's $35+ a bottle and it has crystals all over it which is where the cost comes from.


It's not just the pile of plates but he looks bloated. And the whole hat and hoodie thing doesn't make him look like less of a dirtbag.
Like father like son. Work out my ass.
 
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