Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Uber driver reviewer]

Why does the tamham not throw away the rotting contents of her fridge? At this point it would be self defense!

Before he dies for real, if he's gonna die thar is, his body should be used to cultivate a vaccine or antibody for salmonella for the greater good. This guy has to have those in him.

If he survives and even if he's paralyzed, I hope he still makes videos with the help of his son and tammy, and it'll be freaky for sure.

Scalfani Sourdough Starter……a fine mix of Jack’s gunt/taint bloom.

 

[AnOminous]

If he dies Jewsh needs to cook aunt Myrna's slop and review it in honor of him.

Why do you hate nool so much you want him to join Jack Scalfani in Hell?

 

[Tetragrammaton]

ill be surprised if he lasts much longer to be honest. who knows if that seizure fucked up his other arm or whatever else. either way let jack be a lesson to all of us the dangers of drinking grease and generally uncooked food for most of your life. how kay from kays cooking is not just as bad off as jack leads me to believe she actually just throws most of her food away.

 

[BrainSand63]

For a man who proclaims to be of faith, he completely failed to avoid the deadly sin of Gluttony. Or Wrath, or Sloth, or...really any of them.

Rest in peace Jack you fat fuck, may God have mercy on your morbidly obese soul. I’m going to miss this thread when you inevitably kick the bucket.

 

[Pomniman]

Why do you hate nool so much you want him to join Jack Scalfani in Hell?

Since it's not a dish of this mortal realm I believe it'd give him some sort of powers if he managed to survive eating the whole thing.

 

[SaltyFanta]

ill be surprised if he lasts much longer to be honest. who knows if that seizure fucked up his other arm or whatever else. either way let jack be a lesson to all of us the dangers of drinking grease and generally uncooked food for most of your life. how kay from kays cooking is not just as bad off as jack leads me to believe she actually just throws most of her food away.

If the seizure fucks up his other arm it'll probably increase his life expectancy if anything, can't cook with two bum arms.

 

[Hokuriku]

At least if he gets cremated, he'll have finally cooked something all the way.

This partially reminded me that one of my proudest internet-shitposting moments was asking Ghost if he preferred Stevie Ray Vaughan in his Regular or Extra Crispy phase :^)

 

[Cable 7]

The scary thing is it looks like his cooking probably wasn't the reason he had a heart attack. How does it feel knowing his raw, lazy-ass food is healthier than the pounds of fast food cheeseburgers he shovels in his face?

 

[Schlomo Silverscreenblatt]

Sounds like soon, all that’s left will be the riffing and the documentaries (if those are ever made).

The only good thing that will come from jack dying is that this little faggot will stop making videos on him.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

The only good thing that will come from jack dying is that this little faggot will stop making videos on him.

Honestly the worst thing about August's videos is that he never bothered to cover Jack on the go where Jack shows off how much of an entitled jackass he really is

 

[PunishedCostanza]

I hope Jack recovers and isn't dead. His videos are a real shitshow but I enjoy them. I mean taking one look at his Jack On The Go Show and you realize why the man is sitting in a hospital bed clinging to life but still.

 

[Maverick Vile]

If he dies Jewsh needs to cook aunt Myrna's slop and review it in honor of him.

I was just watching Deadwingdork's video where he made the Party Cheese Salad last night. He cooked up the Party Cheese Salad and reviewed it, but he completely fucked up the recipe. Feels like he never gave it a decent shot since he didn't use the right ingredients and fucking boiled everything instead of simmering the ingredients like the recipe calls for. I mean, it still probably would have tasted awful, but I don't feel like it's asking much to apply at least the same amount of culinary rigor as Jack-fucking-Scalfani if you're going to dunk on his demented Aunt Myrna's recipe.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

So, its obvious that the cause of the latest heart attack / stroke was from his dietary habits and sedentary lifestyle, but what do you think the trigger was? As in, what was he doing when the health event?

A rise in blood pressure from stress/anger, be it from yelling at Hope, arguing with someone online, or similar?

Grunting and struggling with a massive constipation meat turd?

Taxing out his body while attemping to unhinge his jaw to fit in an entire burger?

Please add your speculations!

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

So, its obvious that the cause of the latest heart attack / stroke was from his dietary habits and sedentary lifestyle, but what do you think the trigger was? As in, what was he doing when the health event?

A rise in blood pressure from stress/anger, be it from yelling at Hope, arguing with someone online, or similar?

Grunting and struggling with a massive constipation meat turd?

Taxing out his body while attemping to unhinge his jaw to fit in an entire burger?

Please add your speculations!

All of the above?

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

This partially reminded me that one of my proudest internet-shitposting moments was asking Ghost if he preferred Stevie Ray Vaughan in his Regular or Extra Crispy phase :^)

Holy fuck I remember that! He got so mad lmao

 

[Dave.]

I was just watching Deadwingdork's video where he made the Party Cheese Salad last night. He cooked up the Party Cheese Salad and reviewed it, but he completely fucked up the recipe. Feels like he never gave it a decent shot since he didn't use the right ingredients and fucking boiled everything instead of simmering the ingredients like the recipe calls for. I mean, it still probably would have tasted awful, but I don't feel like it's asking much to apply at least the same amount of culinary rigor as Jack-fucking-Scalfani if you're going to dunk on his demented Aunt Myrna's recipe.

Yeah he boils the ingredients in a pot which you’re not supposed to do. You’re supposed to heat it up to a room temperature on low and dissolve the ingredients with rampant stirring.

I followed the recipe to a T and I can confirm it tastes weird and it has a very off putting texture that actually kind of made me sick. The vegetables are colder than the cool whip and jello concoction and their crunch really pulls you out as you’re eating this dessert like dish. Bell peppers also are a really pungent vegetable meaning it’s going to overpower other flavors in the dish. Pimientos I just straight up hate as well and never add them to any of my recipes so that made the dish unfairly worse for me as well.

 

[Spirelord: Downfall]

Goddammit I just got into watching his On The Go stuff. It's like old DSP Tries It but in public with people around him to embarrass, I don't want it to end yet! At least let him lose the other arm so he has to bitch about Tammy eating her food instead of letting him clean his plate first, all while in public! Ah well, if he lives this he might review the hospital food, if not then at least the Scalfani house will be free... For now.

 

[James done did it]

People here forgot to mention a few signs from God to Jack to quit his gastrosexual gluttonous lust.

- Uncontrolled diabetes
- Thyroid cancer (Fair enough not a food-related illness)
- Seizure
- 2 heart attacks
- 2 strokes (possibly another minor one that was stress? Who knows because Jack refuses to stay in the hospital or cooperate.)
- Morbid obesity
- Total loss of function to right arm, loss of most mobility in right leg
- Countless salmonella infections

Jack's motto is "Do God's work and He will do your work!"

Jack Scalfani is the centurion who stood at his post as Vesuvius erupted. As the world collapses around him he does not shy away from his duty, which is to eat huge amounts of unhealthy food and tell everyone about it. The Faustian spirit at work right there.

 

[Random Internet Person]

Since it's not a dish of this mortal realm I believe it'd give him some sort of powers if he managed to survive eating the whole thing.

Maybe it’s the same powers possessed by Kay’s Cooking and her son.

 

[Jibbers Cribbers]

Any updates on the king of salmonella?
I’m worried.