Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Is there a funnier cow than Patrick? I said in another thread that Patrick is funnier than Chris Chan and I stand by that. Patrick clearly has the baseline of neurotypicality and intelligence needed to be a productive member of society (but just barely, despite his own overestimation of his own ability, which is in and of itself hilarious), but due to his immense, unearned ego and complete lack of introspection he chooses rather to be the biggest, fattest piece of shit who ever existed, and constantly digs new and deeper and deeper holes for himself. People like Chris Chan, Keffals, Anisa Jomha, Chantal, even Ethan Ralph and Nick Fuentes seem to have deep psychological and/or IQ problems that cause their issues, Patrick just wakes up every morning and willfully decides to be the biggest piece of shit possible and at every turn he chooses to make all of his problems worse. It's truly astounding.
 
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"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2018
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2019
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2020
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2021
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2022
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2023

Any day now, eh pal?
Trust the plan, child. Two more weeks, stalker. Arrests are coming, suckling infant child.
 
Is there a funnier cow than Patrick?
The value of lolcows is all relative to the individual laughing at them. Different lolcows appeal to different types of people for different reasons.

Personally, while Patrick isn't my favorite lolcow, I do think that he has a great deal of mass appeal to a wide range of individuals for various reasons. He's so incredibly unlikable that he alienates those that should be his allies, and his very existence is a running punchline for the universe. He is also terminally online instead of having the good sense to retreat for a bit, as other lolcows do, so he produces a lot of material consistently.

His pompous persona, tendency to overestimate his own intellect, and remarkable perseverance makes him feel more like a fictional character than an actual person.
 
The value of lolcows is all relative to the individual laughing at them. Different lolcows appeal to different types of people for different reasons.

Personally, while Patrick isn't my favorite lolcow, I do think that he has a great deal of mass appeal to a wide range of individuals for various reasons. He's so incredibly unlikable that he alienates those that should be his allies, and his very existence is a running punchline for the universe. He is also terminally online instead of having the good sense to retreat for a bit, as other lolcows do, so he produces a lot of material consistently.

His pompous persona, tendency to overestimate his own intellect, and remarkable perseverance makes him feel more like a fictional character than an actual person.
The thing for me is, most other lolcows are absolute train wrecks who never could have been anything else. Patrick has been married twice, he's had multiple careers, he could just log off and live a normal life, but he CHOOSES to be the internet's biggest lolcow and to be so absolutely insufferable while doing it there's not an ounce of sympathy possible for him. That, to me, is the very essence of lolcowdom.
 
Another attempt at going viral over that police beating case:

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Hey piggy, nobody gives a shit.
"Why are the people i dont like silent about this" because they're waiting for more information you fat retarded loudmouth. If the union had a statement prepared you'd still cry ahout sonething like "the fact that they're so used to having to say this that they already have a statement denouncing (or defending) is PROOF they're white supremacists" there is no way they could have responded that piggy would not have used to say the same retarded shit he wanted to
 
Much like Chris Chan and Tommy Tooter, Pat is the kind of cow that despises the police for being bullies, but has full faith that they'll turn around and punish those who would dare mock them.
Have you noticed he’s now started employing the old “stay obsessed” Tooterism with people? It’s all over his latest exchange with Ethan Van Sciver.
 
Why are the people i dont like silent about this" because they're waiting for more information you fat retarded loudmouth
Low iq people can’t help but let their every thought tumble out of their mouth. The only good(bad) thing Twitter has done is facilitate that over the Internet so we can point and laugh at this absolute mess of a dwarf planet
 
"Why are the people i dont like silent about this" because they're waiting for more information you fat retarded loudmouth. If the union had a statement prepared you'd still cry ahout sonething like "the fact that they're so used to having to say this that they already have a statement denouncing (or defending) is PROOF they're white supremacists" there is no way they could have responded that piggy would not have used to say the same retarded shit he wanted to
Patrick adds no value to the world, save for his delicious, delicious niggeroni made from the screeching bodies of the innocent black refugee children he savagely flays alive.
 
Another attempt at going viral over that police beating case:

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Hey piggy, nobody gives a shit.
Disgusting cunt, you can just see how blatantly he seizes on these events to try and get that little dopamine rush.
Blacks kill blacks = white supremacy? You can always rely on Pat to serve up the most odious, low-resolution take on current affairs. I know his twitter is an endless source of amusement but in an ideal society people like him wouldn't be trusted with unfettered access to social media.

This is the face of a man who expects you to listen to his political takes
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You'd think a writer would be able to take the occasional chance to compose a dunking of legendary proportions just out of boredom with the texts every now and then. Like I don't get how Pat can reply to every message and not occasionally try to have fun with it.
The problem is that he's clouded by rage and homosexual intent, imagining the trolls having a way with his obese curves.

Inevitably his mind harkens back to Jon, and he loses himself in thought for a moment; "How could that fool not see the signs?" he hisses to himself through closed eyes and clenched teeth "How couldn't he see I was the one? But he took that bitch as his bride instead. Such a damned fool!"

For the third time today Patrick loses himself in thoughts of being ravished by a man. He imagines how pretty he would've looked in a bridal gown, and how joyous the marital bed would've been.
FatPanstasy.jpg

"Oh Jon, we could've been so happy...and now look at me! A girl reduced to flirty with dirty mouthed sailors on the internet in order to get his rocks off"

Loud barking from outside rouses Patrick from his haze, probably one of the local darkies' pitbulls. He sighs and heads to grab his jacket; at least Hooligans is always there to comfort him in the embrace of anonymous company and intoxicating liquors. And in private, girlish fantasies of hopefully one day meeting a new Jon of his own.
 
Disgusting cunt, you can just see how blatantly he seizes on these events to try and get that little dopamine rush.
Blacks kill blacks = white supremacy? You can always rely on Pat to serve up the most odious, low-resolution take on current affairs. I know his twitter is an endless source of amusement but in an ideal society people like him wouldn't be trusted with unfettered access to social media.

This is the face of a man who expects you to listen to his political takes
View attachment 4358577
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That's the same picture the pests posted and Reddit and claimed that their retarded Asperger brother was lost in New York and needed help to get him.
 
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2018
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2019
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2020
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2021
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2022
"They're getting arrested on multiple felony charges." -Patrick Tomlinson 2023

Any day now, eh pal?
sTalker childs ARRESTED and EXECUTED by US Navy military tribunal in Guantanamo Bay by the USMC. Trust the plan, child. Just 2 more weeks until the peperoni lands.
 
Piggy must of been reading this thread, he just tweeted out a deranged sermon about the vaxx:

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Yeah, that totally happened. Notice the timestamps, it took him 45 minutes to shit that out. No wonder he hasn't released a book in nearly three years.
Everyone mocking his dipshit stance on this specific topic is getting a lot of :politisperg: emotes, unlike when we make fun of any of his other political opinions. Methinks the stalkerchilds protest too much.

If you're reading this thread and big mad that you're as dumb as Fatrick when it comes to COVID and we're laughing at you for it, good. Die (suddenly) mad, stalker child.
 
And check out the tweet thread he made of it. I love the "and this is why it's long past time to update our laws."
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He's so desperate to go viral, he's drummed this up to try and get some momentum. It's not 2016 anymore Pat. You don't get to change the law based on an outraged tweet.
Anyway, why you so mad? I thought you "wouldn't do anything differently"?
Does he think there's currently a law against sending someone a letter full of dumb stuff with somebody else's name on it? Does he think it's the law that's stopping me from sending thousands of racist and sexually explicit letters in his name every day to prominent people all over Wisconsin?

Another attempt at going viral over that police beating case:

View attachment 4357737View attachment 4357735

Hey piggy, nobody gives a shit.
This is a good example of how Rick is stupid and bad at being a public writer, if he stopped at the third one he'd have a higher chance of going viral. Not only would the thread be 40% shorter but he would have avoided immediately stomping all over his point with an even stupider digressing conclusion that will only turn off people amenable to his completely different point in the first three tweets. He would have been even better off going in the direction of talking about his own self-inflicted encounters with the police but because he's so stupid (and fat) he felt the need to repeat what he's seeing from thousands of other idiots on Twitter rather than establishing a different and personal connection to the topic that would be specific only to him that only he could say.
 
I just had a great (read: terrible) idea. Since Rekeita had been letting his cow flag fly, he should invite Fatrick onto his show and drunkenly go over his case with quasi. They disagree about a lot of politics, but I bet they will bond over the balldo.
And it all ends in a street race down an icy road between Nick's GT500 and Pat's V6 Bullitt. The winner gets to have Drexel fart in their wife's vagina.
 
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