Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Flour]

Like Christ, but even more resurrections.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Mid century cookbooks were all about the Aspic. They were savory jello meals that should never see the light of day. My grandma made one of those once when I was visiting and it was disgusting. Corned beef and canned peas set in an unflavored gelatin.

That's not even the worst recipe from that era. At least it isn't salmon shortcake. Yes, that was a thing. Recipe calls for cream of celery soup. Website is being too fucky to let me post the official Campbell's recipe.

 

[ZipDisk]

Just grill the dogs on a Weber kettle

I had to look up Weber Kettle, I had no fucking clue what you were on about. It's a charcoal grill, tailgate style.

Ironically enough, that IS the best way to cook hot dogs. I won't get into the gas/charcoal war (I'm pro gas) but grilling gives you the best tasting dog. Boiling or fry panning results in a less flavorful hot dog.

I've been making dirty water dogs and was honestly wondering how that worked. When you boil a hot dog, flavor is lost through the water. By adding spices and vinegar, you are infusing flavor into the hot dog. Also a good way to use up nutmeg that just sits on the shelf smugly mocking you.

I never knew that letting the casing split on a sausage or hot dog fucked things up. Now I know.

 

[R00T]

The rumors of Jackseph Stanlinfani’s death are greatly exaggerated and we at the party are ashamed of such slander. Jack has already reported he is going on a tour to disprove the allegations.

 

[Bassomatic]

The rumors of Jackseph Stanlinfani’s death are greatly exaggerated and we at the party are ashamed of such slander. Jack has already reported he is going on a tour to disprove the allegations.

Nothing owns the hater cardiologists like stuffing your gullet with more strip mall tex mex.

Honestly, Nickacado Jack crossover should happen, both fat gay men who have nothing left but coupons from fast food chains.

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

One thing I will say is people have TIA’s and don’t recognize them as such. TIA’s are somewhat easy to ignore if you’re as dumb as Jack, and they often resolve within 24 hours so people often just skip going to the hospital because they are better, despite this really being a problem that needs to be looked into. Americans on a whole are really, really ignorant when it comes to their health. I know someone who insists they are healthy because “my blood work is good” yet mentally, they repeat themselves, get confused and lost while driving. All signs of dementia/Alzheimer’s, but says it’s ok because their blood pressure, blood work etc are all perfect.

 

[draculapenis]

Nothing owns the hater cardiologists like stuffing your gullet with more strip mall tex mex.

Honestly, Nickacado Jack crossover should happen, both fat gay men who have nothing left but coupons from fast food chains.

If Jack is following the Nikocado route, we’ll see him open an OnlyFans once he’s out of the hospital

 

[AnOminous]

I was digging through my old edition of The Art of Cooking and found a recipe that’s very similar to the Party Cheese Salad. (It’s method 2)

Yes it’s true that pretty much all jello/veggie/dressing recipes from this era are interchangeable, but this one has more than a passing resemblance to the video. To me it’s pretty clear Aunt Myrna riffed on this recipe or one very close.

View attachment 4359635

I pretty routinely make something like the cream cheese and olive salad, but without the liquid ingredients, as something to eat on a bagel.

 

[Pig Cups]

Jack not being able to BBQ and requires the investors to step in just so he can go around feeding his ego by talking to people is peak comedy.
I want to say "Never change, Jack" but I know he never will anyway.

I know it’s Jack, but it’s just so goddamned comical that he not only couldn’t see that the Texans had no respect for him from the start, but also thought that a deal (that benefitted him) was still on the table after McConaughey snapped at him to fuck off out of the way and let him work.

That deal was SO over from the moment Jack confessed to not knowing how to flame BBQ, and doubly so when the potential investor scolded him like his mother did when he was a small child and she needed his disruptive ass out of the kitchen. Most normal people trying to get investors would see how bad that would make them look. But Jack is exceptionally blind to social cues.

Look at how prideful he stands. He probably thought that he was absolutely going to win, just like that church chili contest.


Another moment that’s hilariously underrated is the visible contempt on the competitor’s face. You could argue that the guy not shaking hands when introduced to Jack was kind of a dick move, but from where I stand today, I can’t deny that I’d do the same thing. That guy just fucking *detests* Jack and his novice horseshit:

“tHesE heAt rESisTaNT gLoVes, riGht??”

 

[marjoram]

I know it’s Jack, but it’s just so goddamned comical that he not only couldn’t see that the Texans had no respect for him from the start, but also thought that a deal (that benefitted him) was still on the table after McConaughey snapped at him to fuck off out of the way and let him work.
View attachment 4363747
That deal was SO over from the moment Jack confessed to not knowing how to flame BBQ, and doubly so when the potential investor scolded him like his mother did when he was a small child and she needed his disruptive ass out of the kitchen. Most normal people trying to get investors would see how bad that would make them look. But Jack is exceptionally blind to social cues.

Look at how prideful he stands. He probably thought that he was absolutely going to win, just like that church chili contest.
View attachment 4363776

Another moment that’s hilariously underrated is the visible contempt on the competitor’s face. You could argue that the guy not shaking hands when introduced to Jack was kind of a dick move, but from where I stand today, I can’t deny that I’d do the same thing. That guy just fucking *detests* Jack and his novice horseshit:

“tHesE heAt rESisTaNT gLoVes, riGht??”
View attachment 4363804
View attachment 4363884
View attachment 4363836
View attachment 4363845

The deal was over the minute Jack named his sauce The Best Sauce You'll Ever Taste and went to Texas to try to shill it.

 

[AnOminous]

Another moment that’s hilariously underrated is the visible contempt on the competitor’s face. You could argue that the guy not shaking hands when introduced to Jack was kind of a dick move, but from where I stand today, I can’t deny that I’d do the same thing. That guy just fucking *detests* Jack and his novice horseshit:

My favorite part was when he started crying and the Texans looked at him like he was some kind of repulsive insect before basically telling him he was a completely fake piece of shit to his face.

Often they play these conflicts up on these kind of "reality" shows, but this was true and genuine contempt.

Jack is a genuine genius at turning people from neutral to life-long A-Logs in a single encounter.

 

[Trig.Point]

I'm really glad it looks like he's going to pull through, this is my favourite thread on the forum and I'd genuinely feel the loss.

The Butter Chicken video was just great to watch. One of my favourite bits was when he declared that the price of chicken was so high that he'd go to an 'international store' if he had to.

 

[Goatchoker]

I pretty routinely make something like the cream cheese and olive salad, but without the liquid ingredients, as something to eat on a bagel.

I went to that right away and I would be so down. On a bagel with some deli meat as a lunch. Probably delicious.
I’m glad jacks alive. I can’t wait for the next season of WTF with jack.

 

[VenomPlug]

Jack's gimp arm deserves its own series: Cooking With Claw

 

[SpiceyHuman]

I don't know if the best part of his review is:

A; Just had a major stroke, can't drive anymore, can't use my right arm, lets go to Arby's.
B: Eating only the meat from the meat mountain while saying "gobs of meat, lots of meat". Sucking on his fingers more times than he ate anything off the sandwich.
C: The instant distain at the smoked brisket for having less meat than the meat mountain. Didn't try the sandwich at all, only moved the bun and onion rings for the review, then proclaimed you should upgrade to the now named smoke mountain because you get two more meats for $1.50.

Honestly, I'm happy he'll be around to provide content and excited to see how he will explain this incident away #godlaughs

This is probably one of my favorite JoTg videos. As you said, the "gobs of meat" and him flip flopping between "smoke mountain" and "meat mountain" had me loling

 

[Dave.]

Continuing down the Jack rabbit hole, the chili competition video is by far my favorite. Everything about it was perfect. The rotten brisket from his freezer, him thinking that same brisket was going to win him the competition, him showing up to the competition and making one of the staff uncomfortable, his visible disappointment and anger that people are voting for chili and not “neutral judges”, his raw anger when he tells us at the end he lost that he tries to mask with a brutally fake smile. It all adds up perfectly.

 

[Tiresome]

I went to that right away and I would be so down. On a bagel with some deli meat as a lunch. Probably delicious.
I’m glad jacks alive. I can’t wait for the next season of WTF with jack.

Now you all got me thinking about a good muffuletta, damn you.

 

[densedance]

Jack is pulling my plunker.

No shot he fucking uploaded a Chicken Butter video right after all that.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

One thing I will say is people have TIA’s and don’t recognize them as such. TIA’s are somewhat easy to ignore if you’re as dumb as Jack, and they often resolve within 24 hours so people often just skip going to the hospital because they are better, despite this really being a problem that needs to be looked into. Americans on a whole are really, really ignorant when it comes to their health. I know someone who insists they are healthy because “my blood work is good” yet mentally, they repeat themselves, get confused and lost while driving. All signs of dementia/Alzheimer’s, but says it’s ok because their blood pressure, blood work etc are all perfect.

Or you have faggots like Jagoff that got upset it was taking too long and just went home instead.

The deal was over the minute Jack named his sauce The Best Sauce You'll Ever Taste and went to Texas to try to shill it.

It's a ketchup based sauce that he's trying to sell to Texans. A group of people that will die on the hill that ketchup based BBQ sauces taste terrible. And... I don't necessarily agree with them as it's an easy quick and dirty sauce you can whip up in like 20 minutes but I get where they're coming from.

Long story short, Jagoff's sauces suck.

I'm really glad it looks like he's going to pull through, this is my favourite thread on the forum and I'd genuinely feel the loss.

The Butter Chicken video was just great to watch. One of my favourite bits was when he declared that the price of chicken was so high that he'd go to an 'international store' if he had to.

To be fair that is true in some parts of the country. There's a Chinese supermarket we head to every so often where they sell bags of chicken legs for like $1.99 a pound. It's crazy cheap.

Now you all got me thinking about a good muffuletta, damn you.

That's not a bad thing in and of itself.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

Jack is pulling my plunker.

No shot he fucking uploaded a Chicken Butter video right after all that.

More than likely it was a scheduled upload.