Cultcow Brad Watson / Richard Bradshaw Watson / Brad Watson_Miami - Jesus & Albert Einstein reincarnated, discoverer of GOD=7_4 Theory

[facepalm]

I again point out that Brad does not dispute the B Watson (79) = virgin (79) asshole (79) theory.


It's a conceded point now. Someone edit the thread title.

 

[LordCustos3]

I again point out that Brad does not dispute the B Watson (79) = virgin (79) asshole (79) theory.
It's a conceded point now. Someone edit the thread title.

The honorable Judge Custos acknowledges that the virginity of B Watson is stipulated.

Okay, I'm back. Continuing where I left off from earlier.
Brad and his karma. He seems obsessed with the idea that our karma will lead to a bad end....but he is blind to his own karmic debt.

I've already enumerated his punishments he'd already have earned if Christianity were true

Spoiler: Quoted for Great Justice

Brad's Sentence:

Because of Brad Watson's flagrant unrepentant disobedience and refusal to conform to the Will of The Almighty, the following penalties are to be levied upon his soul's entry into Hell upon the hour of his corporeal death.

• 88 extra lashes with flaming, electrified concertina wire for every time he usurped the identity of Jesus of Nazareth (Sin: Blasphemy against Jesus). Each lash to followed by a dousing in boiling salt water to sharply punctuate God's disapproval. The lashing will be followed by immersion in The Lake of Fire until Brad recants this falsehood.
• 88 extra lashes with flaming, electrified concertina wire for every time he usurped the identity of Mohammed (Sin: Blasphemy against Jesus and Apostasy against Christianity). Followed by immersion in The Lake of Fire until he recants this falsehood.
• 88 extra lashes with flaming barbed wire for every time he usurped the identity of any other person (Sin: Publically Speaking Falsehoods/Breaking the 9th Commandment). Followed by the excision of his tongue so he never speaks falsely again.
• 88 extra lashes with flaming barbed wire for every time he practiced witchcraft (Sin: Disobeying the Mosaic Law against Witchcraft). Followed by "dunking" in boiling water to cleanse the taint from his soul.
• 66 extra strikes with a firebrand for every time he espoused the false doctrine of Reincarnation (Sin: Heresy.)
• 66 extra strikes with a firebrand for every time he espoused myths of The Planet Nestor (Sin: Congress with Demons)
• 33 extra strikes with a rod of iron for every time he practiced divination (Sin: Disobeying the Mosaic Law against Divination).

These charges/punishments are cumulative and will continue to be tallied even after this proclamation is posted. Continued disobedience (or additional infractions) will increase not only the number of punishments and the number of sins to be punished but the severity and intensity of the punishments will also increase.
Once corporeal death has occurred and the soul is in Hell, all offers of commutation and remission are revoked permanently. ​

He can still repent...

....but I'm not well versed in the specific nitty-gritty, nuts-and-bolts details of Hindu ethics.
I'm sure he's racked up a huge, HUGE karmic debt; but I'm not sure what specific punishments go with which specific 'sin'.

I also can tell he hasn't mastered any meditations, or else he'd be more chillaxed; Instead he's a belligerent, bellicose Curseyamehameha-flinging chimp with one middle finger waving in our faces and the other pounding mindlessly on the Ignore button like it was attached the pleasure center of his tiny brain.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Actually according to Buddhism he's netted extremely bad karma and may enx up in one of the lower plains of rebirth simply for handing out legalistic judgements. I'm no Buddhist, but I do know that theology. I'd wager Hinduism is the same.

 

[Splendid]

Actually according to Buddhism he's netted extremely bad karma and may enx up in one of the lower plains of rebirth simply for handing out legalistic judgements. I'm no Buddhist, but I do know that theology. I'd wager Hinduism is the same.

Yeah, but I thought that the underpinnings of Brad's views were pretty Abrahamic?

 

[Alex Krycek]

Yeah, but I thought that the underpinnings of Brad's views were pretty Abrahamic?

They're kind of a hybrid of Dharmic and Abrahamic as far as I can tell. He's got Hindu ideas about rebirth but without castes but rather species, which is ironic that he'd condemn people to be cattle since cows are very sacred in Hinduism. While from there he's got the Legalism of Islam and Conservative Judaism. He's certainly a Non trinitarian Christian, but misses the Populism and Compassion espoused in The Gospels and Epistles.

 

[Adamska]

The idea that Brad the Pillowbiting Schizo has any basis on his religious twaddle outside of children's maths games is funny. He sucks at understanding both because he just sits on his ass pretending his life has any meaning, mainly by trying to take the credit of others by using reincarnation.

All I know is that considering Brad's life now, he'll probably be reincarnated as an animal or a junked car since he's so insistent on shoveling negative karma on himself.

 

[Keerakh]

This niggas Goin to Naraka.

 

[chimpburgers]

I haven't followed this thread much in a while but there's some really old Brad content I never saw posted here. I found it here. Just scroll down and you'll see this comment I capped.

 

[LordCustos3]

That is the dumbest and most clueless thing I've ever heard Brad say; and that's out of a very strong field of contenders.
Sooooo, According to this brainfart (from a brainfart) 'Great Gazoo' "aligns" with 'Spock'....

Apparently, Pharisee McBumblewit does'nt know that...

• ...so does 'Tiamat'
• ...so does 'Beatles'
• ...so does 'Joe Biden'
• ...so does 'Dinner'.
• ...and so does 'Michigan'.

Anyone want to hazard a guess as to how knowing that these "align" with each other is useful information?
Can anyone use this knowledge to make a provable (or even coherent) predictions about the future or glean any actual insight into reality?
Does the fact that three* of those things are fictional have any bearing whatsoever?

*=four, if you think that Joe Biden is actually a mannequin made of papier mache.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

The idea that Brad the Pillowbiting Schizo has any basis on his religious twaddle outside of children's maths games is funny. He sucks at understanding both because he just sits on his ass pretending his life has any meaning, mainly by trying to take the credit of others by using reincarnation.

If anything, that's what confuses me the most about Brad. He's not dealing with either math or religion at anything close to an adult level. I would say his understanding of both is somewhere in the third grade range, and that's being generous. does he really not realize he's playing checkers when the academic world is playing chess?

 

[LordCustos3]

If anything, that's what confuses me the most about Brad. He's not dealing with either math or religion at anything close to an adult level. I would say his understanding of both is somewhere in the third grade range, and that's being generous. does he really not realize he's playing checkers when the academic world is playing chess?

I think you are being more generous than you realize.
He isn't playing checkers while we play chess.
He's playing with his poop while we are playing a 4,000 point Apocalypse Scale Warhammer 40K Tournament.

Third grade level?
A third grader can add 1 and 1 together and get "2". Brad adds 1 and 1 together and gets "74 virgin kumquats in my steamy Jesus hole".

 

[Online Violence]

The really confusing part for me is this faggot thinking random contrived relations between numbers and the individual letters composing words of the english language is a "method". Does any of your nonsensical bullshit work with modern foreign languages? What about old english, before there were standard forms of spelling and grammar? What about non-latin alphabets? What about written languages with no alphabet at all? How convenient that this unique methodology that reveals the profound truth of the universe just happens to coincide with Brad's native tongue, in a time where the written form of it has been standardized.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

The really confusing part for me is this faggot thinking random contrived relations between numbers and the individual letters composing words of the english language is a "method". Does any of your nonsensical bullshit work with modern foreign languages? What about old english, before there were standard forms of spelling and grammar? What about non-latin alphabets? What about written languages with no alphabet at all? How convenient that this unique methodology that reveals the profound truth of the universe just happens to coincide with Brad's native tongue, in a time where the written form of it has been standardized.

A language is only important if Brad knows it. Just like math only matters if Brad understands it.

 

[Online Violence]

I'm sure it makes perfect mathematical sense to base an entire methodology on something as fluid, inconstant and ever-changing as the spelling of words in english, somehow. Brad basically takes a small picture of the current state of the english language and uses it as a factor in his insanely stupid "equations", and this is somehow supposed to reveal deep meaningful truths about a universe that has existed for billions of years and a species that has been around for hundreds of thousands, that have used a bewildering variety of constantly changing, morphing and mixing languages, the vast majority of whom were never exposed to the idea of writing and thus never developped it.

 

[facepalm]

You guys doubt the validity of the B Watson (79) is a virgin (79) asshole (79) theory based on the fact that it only works in English and is only valid with currently accepted spellings?


But there are no coincidences! My theory is based on irrefutable evidence!

 

[LordCustos3]

The really confusing part for me is this faggot thinking random contrived relations between numbers and the individual letters composing words of the english language is a "method". Does any of your nonsensical bullshit work with modern foreign languages?

Gematria doesn't work in ANY language.
If it worked at all, it would be used by stockbrokers and actual mathematicians; instead of being a poorly understood hobby dabbled in by new age dilettantes and frothing schizophrenic dweebs.

What about old english, before there were standard forms of spelling and grammar? What about non-latin alphabets?

It originally used Hebrew.

What about written languages with no alphabet at all? How convenient that this unique methodology that reveals the profound truth of the universe just happens to coincide with Brad's native tongue, in a time where the written form of it has been standardized.

The really dumbfounding part is his obsession with 74 and 64. It limits the usefulness of an already useless form of divination.

A language is only important if Brad knows it. Just like math only matters if Brad understands it.

A theological concept is only important if it makes Brad's pee-pee feel big.

I'm sure it makes perfect mathematical sense to base an entire methodology on something as fluid, inconstant and ever-changing as the spelling of words in english, somehow.

Schizophrenia is amazing, innit?

Brad basically takes a small picture of the current state of the english language and uses it as a factor in his insanely stupid "equations"....

Thats the extra stupid part. What he is peddling isn't even an 'Equation'. Its just

• the number 74,
• an equal sign
• and something that bears absolutely no relation whatsoever to the number 74.

Somehow, this "proves" he's Jesus and Mohammad and Ben Franklin and Judas Iscariot and Buck Rogers and Thanos the Mad Titan.

and this is somehow supposed to reveal deep meaningful truths about a universe that has existed for billions of years and a species that has been around for hundreds of thousands, that have used a bewildering variety of constantly changing, morphing and mixing languages, the vast majority of whom were never exposed to the idea of writing and thus never developed it.

Even more ridiculous than that: If it were so simple, obvious, practical and real, it would've been discovered thousands of years ago by the multitude of philosophers, theologians, mathematicians, scientists and any random schlub on a street corner; instead of a weird shut-in with the math skills of a shoehorn.

 

[bacterium]

What the fuck is a plan-it? Is that where forever alone virgins like Brad live?

 

[Brad Watson_Miami]

It's 4:47 pm and the Miami Heat has 47 point74s at the half against Toronto while trying to win Game 7 and their 4th win.

GO Da Heat!

 

[Keerakh]

Sports are for faggots

 

[bacterium]

It's 4:47 pm and the Miami Heat has 47 point74s at the half against Toronto while trying to win Game 7 and their 4th win.

GO Da Heat!

Jesus. You(9) are(9) a(12) fucking(4758585 tool(4)