DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Pargon]

I don't watch or follow RTU because I find him annoying as fuck, but I had a legit WTF-moment just now when I saw he has a fake bird on his desk named "Mister Burdnell" (Birdnell?).

View attachment 4471015

View attachment 4471028


Not sure whether I should laugh or cry...

I swear to god being a massive insufferable faggot has to be a requirement to put your face on the Internet. We really, really fucked this thing up.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

Looks like RTU's dad in that picture.

He looks like a Chechen cab driver in NYC that scam's people by going the long way to get more tips, while smelling of vodka and stale cigarettes.

 

[Bored Euro Trash]

He looks like a Chechen cab driver in NYC that scam's people by going the long way to get more tips, while smelling of vodka and stale cigarettes.

Weird, to me he looks like a pathetic, skinny-fat, ugly, drunk polack that scams retards for Hogan pulls because that's what he is.

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Not when it's his usual false advertising. Speaking of advertising, at least someone fixed his google search result:

View attachment 4470253

Looks like it's still pointing to the wrong location. I know I sperged out about this before, but for whatever reason, inputting the exact address of 17505 110th Lane SE #30, Renton, WA 98055 into Google Maps gives you the building one block east of his actual location, on 111th Ave instead on 110th Lane. Which is a problem since he lives in muh gated community. If you change one of the last two digits on that 17505 you will get a much more accurate placement. This leads me to believe it is related to some kind of gay op to screw up his location in Google Maps, or alternatively, Phil being so paranoid that he purposely screwed with the location. Not that I'm complaining, because it's funny and probably causes his Doordash orders to get fucked up.

 

[DiabeticSydePhil]

Dated a girl with eczema once, it’s not remotely serious. Not in the slightest.

You can get really powerful cream containing steroids (good for bodybuilders, Dave) that even applied every few days make it invisible 99% of the time. IIRC the area went a bit red after she exercised and that was it (not a problem for Dave).
You wear gloves only when you’re diagnosed until it goes away to stop you scratching your face in your sleep. You don’t wear gloves forever.
It’s not a condition that’s inherited or caused by poor hygiene from what I saw but I presume poor hygiene can’t help your immune system in the deal.

He either doesn’t understand it or is milking the pity bucks; it’s an absolutely nothing condition every time I’ve seen it.

Hopefully he has something worse he’s not telling us.

Mild PL but eczema fucked my life up for years and years due to it being triggered by pollen/etc. They make expensive drugs that get commercials for my type. If he needed those we'd know because his dumbass without proper insurance would be footint $3k a month bills.

If Phil had real deal medical eczema like that we'd know about it because his weirdo disgusting habits mean his skin would be literally falling off. You can't hide Serious Eczema because it'll predominantly appear in large rashes places like the inside of the elbows and neck/around the eyes/etc.

He can't even pick a good fake skin condition, legitimately he probably self diagnosed based on the Dupixent commercials they always have on tv. Probably while watching Wrasslin behind the wife's back.

 

[ZehnBoat]

He can't even pick a good fake skin condition,

doesn't help his ego wouldn't let him go "had a small rash, had a doctor look into it, got some cheap meds"
instead mr. "I literally couldn't breath for half an hour" went "DOOD MY SKIN WAS PEELING AND BLEEDING"

 

[Draventren the Squeakuel]

Lol. Most people of his vintage put on that hat and look like bloke in pub. Why does he look like an obnoxiously gay landlord

I mean:

• Is incredibly obnoxious
• "Owns" property
• Repulsed by women

"Looks like" is a bit of a weak way to put it

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

Looks like RTU's dad in that picture.

Only 1 million times less useful to society

 

[PetiteDragon43]

What in the holy fuck...

View attachment 4467688

oh shit. oh fuck.

 

[Pandalee’s Tits]

Phil’s surprise original content will be dog shit and the only ones who will laugh are the dents. Phil will then spend the next two weeks bitching about the negative response he received. It’s gonna be absolutely insufferable.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

When you look somehow worse than a guy who's thirty years older than you (this is William Conrad from Jake and the Fatman)

 

[Negative Toxic Loser]

View attachment 4469549
kek

He did tell us he didn't want to be Mr. Views...

 

[Lurker at the Threshold]

Looks like RTU's dad in that picture.

 

[RIPRhongoBongo]

Bets on whether or not a dent hints(whales) at him playing Metroid Prime Remastered?

 

[ReentryPhantom]

He looks like a Chechen cab driver in NYC that scam's people by going the long way to get more tips, while smelling of vodka and stale cigarettes.

This happened to me once when I took my family to NYC. I had been to NYC multiple times and knew where our hotel was. I called the guy out on it and he started going the quicker route after. Said he wanted to take us through lower Manhattan to "see all the stuff"

 

[clothes in my closet]

Something i've been thinking about lately is... Who are the "dents"

We sometimes talk about dents in a vague sense, such as "The dents are going to love this stupid superbowl thing Phil is doing" or "the dents got Phil to the tips goal today." , but I also think we use this term to describe people who watch Phil unironically. In other words, real genuine fans. The thing is, the vast majority of people who watch Phil are not real fans. In fact, I think the vast majority of people who give Phil money are not real fans.

Spoiler: Unbridled Autism, do not read.

To make this unnecessarily broad, when it comes to "people who exist within the vortex" I think you can categorize them as such:

Whales
Ironic viewers
Ironic fans (I think there is a distinction from the former)
Wheelchairs
Lonely and/or Power-hungry faggots who cling onto Phil for some reason
*Detractors*
Hate watchers/ restream viewers
Kiwi Farmers
Dents (Real fans)

*Note that there is some crossover between categories. For example, Jaxx_Raxor is a whale, but also a real genuine fan, or a "dent", in my opinion

Whales	People like Planet Jeff, Ndo103, guitarplayer1939, Gametrekker, Jaxx, Shoggoth, etc. Some are more active than others, but considering that the step below these people is the modern equivalent of 50 bit bitches, I think it's still more accurate to include someone like Shoggoth, who whaled the fuck out for FF7, with someone like Planet Jeff. People such as OnlyIcedCoffee and Phrenelith/heaving_earth *hint hint, wink wink* are also whales, obviously, but they are also ironic fans in the sense that they use Phil's stream as their personal playground, creating all sorts of havoc and draaaaaaaahma. For example, OnlyIcedCoffee and the totally real doxing of real person Kevin Burnstein, as well as Phrenelith going berserk over trolls and Kiwi Farmers in Phil's chat, very much like how King Vanity would as well. There are also all of the sock accounts that whale on Phil such as Emil, AJ_Gamer, TeamIcoGamer, but these are exactly that, sock accounts. Other than PlanetJeff/1mm and OIC on whichever sock/s he's using for that day, how many of these people regularly watch Phil? How many of them watch Phil for any significant amount of time? Ndo shows up like once a month, Gametrekker only appears when Phil plays Kirby or some shit. Jaxx only watches street fighter, and since Phil has stopped playing it, he hasn't been seen since October 2022. When OIC isn't creating some gayops larp incident, does he even watch Phil? We know Jeff used to schedule time off of work just to watch Phil's videos..does he still do this? Phil has said that 1mm doesn't even watch the streams. What i'm getting at, is that, it seems like the people who empty their wallets for Phil, dont even watch his shit that much. * I want to note that Haseox5 is a fat fucking whale who kind of flies under the radar. I originally thought of him as just one of the few true dents / true fans, but this dude has given Phil more than $1,700 in the last year and a half. He drip feeds 10 - 30 dollar tips roughly once a week, so it kind of slips through the cracks, but the tips tracker doesn't lie
Ironic Viewers	These are the people who pay Phil 4 dollars a month to be a member, so that they have a bit more leniency with their sneak dissing. They make up the bulk of Phil's chat, much more than the real fans or dents. Hell, some of them don't even give Phil a cent, like Clyde Baxter, or the handful of people who come into Phil's chat from DDM and type fake positive messages just for the lulz.
Ironic Fans	Snowkarl, PwDubz, the guy that tips Phil 1.50 over and over and fucking over, with different types of messages (scat jokes, wrestling references, magic the gathering quotes, real questions about games just to keep up the illusion) and Phil pretends that these are all different people. Basically people who tip Phil the minimum with a trolly question in an attempt to get a rise out of him. They hang out for a bit, but they dont actually watch or engage outside of this. OIC and Phrenelith are ironic fans who also just whale on Phil hard.
Wheelchairs	I mean real retarded people. Jayde being the prime example. You could argue that Jayde is a real fan, or a dent, but he doesn't seem cognisant enough to know what the fuck is going on outside of whether "i love this" or " i dont love this go watch wrestling now" RobonWheels is literally a wheelchair, but he was self-aware enough to wheel himself away from Phil. It took him a long fucking time, and a lot of money too, so... is he a wheelchair? DantheMan aka RedemptionGames is another contender. Revolt_Evolve
Lonely and/or Power hungry faggots who latch onto Phil	Swagginz, Madara, Kinggoken, Kgahleon, basically all of Phils mods. Some of the mods were real honest fans at one point, but due to their longevity, they've seen Phils true colors, so now they just hang out for an hour, clean up chat a little bit like good little cucks, and then leave. Phil's most loyal and trusted cucks don't even watch his fucking streams. But they still stick around and defend Phil's honor for no fucking reason other than that they have nothing better to do. Dasboschitt also fits here, even though he used to whale, he should be most well known for being a faggot
Detractors	People who make content about Phil. Phil uses this term interchangeably with "troll". Some of these people are massive a-logging faggots who would be giving money to Phil if it weren't for the staggering amount of detractor content that has been made about Phil over the years
Hate watchers/DDMers	Self Explanatory
Kiwi Farmers	Self Explanatory

And then we have "dents". So who the fuck are these people? It's almost as if they are a nameless, faceless entity, such as the "Silent Majority" If these people exist, and if there is more than a handful of them (Jayde, Jaxx, Derich, other couple wheelchairs, Kagome, Haseo??) then they aren't on Phil's stream. And if they are watching Phil live, they never chat. So again.. silent majority?

I took a look at Phil's youtube page to get an idea of how many people actually watch Phil's videos.

Excluding day 1 views, super hype games, and the beginning of a new playthrough, Phil is lucky if he breaks 1k views on any given video. The people I mentioned above in all of those categories, ...are they watching Phil's videos? Maybe a few of them are? But I would say most of them probably aren't. So who is? Are these the dents? Phil is always talking about how he has so many fans who are just afraid to engage with him in any way because of the vicious trolls. Is there really a group of roughly 500-1500 people who are true, authentic, robust fans of DSPGaming? If so, why aren't they members? Why don't they drop Phil 5 bucks every month or whatever?

And you would think with this consistent group of viewers, and Phil's nonstop begging for engagement, that he could manage to get more than 2-3% of his viewers to like his fucking videos

I can think of Derich, Kagome, Haseo, Jayde, Jaxx

Who do you think are DSP's dents? Who are Phil's real fans, and how many of them does he have?

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

I love the ego on this guy this is a big part of what makes him the best lolcow imo

 

[JamFlowMan]

View attachment 4475079
I love the ego on this guy this is a big part of what makes him the best lolcow imo

Anybody think Phil knows what the term "ratio" even means? Certainly doesn't know "viral" since he's using it to describe 4,000 likes on a tweet.

 

[Skippy Shortbottom]

This is why you're always broke, you fucking asshole. And you know he's going to paywall it.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

View attachment 4475079
I love the ego on this guy this is a big part of what makes him the best lolcow imo

Well now we know what the feature event will be at the tardcast.

This is why you're always broke, you fucking asshole. And you know he's going to paywall it.

View attachment 4475221

I really hope he will not get enough tips to put on this crap, on the other hand if he gets to put in on we get to meme the fuck out of a fat middelaged Polack in HP cosplay looking even more pedo than usual.

Anybody think Phil knows what the term "ratio" even means?

No.