Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dave.]

Presented without comment

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He’s still in the hospital? Goddamn

 

[Whaler]

He’s still in the hospital? Goddamn

You're surprised that a man who just suffered his fourth stroke and can barely use his arm is still in the hospital because of said stroke?

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

I'll always welcome more takedowns on that disgusting church chilli video. The criticisms of the reaction video crowd are valid though. I find the asian chef dude to be cringe but I do find his guests entertaining though especially the one from this last video. He wasn't as uptight as some of his previous guests.. maybe because he didn't have formal training in culinary arts.

The absolute best Jagoff takedown videos are the ones by Jack Vlogs. His stupidity is spliced so perfectly into clips that you don't need any commentary.

 

[Sonic T]

I have a craving for a JotG video where a nurse pushes him in a wheelchair into an elevator, down to the first floor, into the cafeteria, and then she pushes him through the lunch line so that he can get his chicken and taters.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

Since Jack could be pronounced dead any moment now and this thread gets locked out of respect the final kek, I want to bring up something I know we all have seen but seldom talk about because it's never the worst part of anything the fat man touched: His cope.

The amount of times Jack has said "beautiful/gorgeous" for his food no matter what, often multiple times. He has to, every step of the way, compliment his food because no one else will. It doesn't help his good food is basic bitch stuff that a literal duck could cook correctly with half the cholesterol and twice the flavor, and his worst food is raw, rotten, or party cheese salad. But the next time you hate yourself enough to watch his content (or watch someone else react to him because the mere act of pausing Jack every few seconds is sadly an improvement), keep track of how often he says "beautiful" and "gorgeous" to his bastardized Thanksgiving Stuffing that ends up looking and probably smelling like Frito Pie.

Am I the only one who finds this to be one of his worst traits in his proper videos, or is the fact that he supports cheese more than both Dakotas and Canada combined do still hold that award?

 

[Dave.]

Since Jack could be pronounced dead any moment now and this thread gets locked out of respect the final kek, I want to bring up something I know we all have seen but seldom talk about because it's never the worst part of anything the fat man touched: His cope.

The amount of times Jack has said "beautiful/gorgeous" for his food no matter what, often multiple times. He has to, every step of the way, compliment his food because no one else will. It doesn't help his good food is basic bitch stuff that a literal duck could cook correctly with half the cholesterol and twice the flavor, and his worst food is raw, rotten, or party cheese salad. But the next time you hate yourself enough to watch his content (or watch someone else react to him because the mere act of pausing Jack every few seconds is sadly an improvement), keep track of how often he says "beautiful" and "gorgeous" to his bastardized Thanksgiving Stuffing that ends up looking and probably smelling like Frito Pie.

Am I the only one who finds this to be one of his worst traits in his proper videos, or is the fact that he supports cheese more than both Dakotas and Canada combined do still hold that award?

I know you’re being hyperbolic, but do we have a concrete update on his health status? I don’t think you can just walk off a fourth impact.

 

[Adamska]

Given Jack's health crisis, is it really ethical or in good taste for YouTube personalities to keep posting videos that make fun of Jack's cooking skills?

Who cares? Fucking die, Jack.

Faggot paywalled part of the video again, and for a "pro chef" he apparently never made chili. I legit turned it off the moment he did the former, and it was only his co-commentator that kept me from doing it earlier. Also he's a fucking retard; you can easily and safely not worry about frozen food for at least 3 or so months if your freezer, be it industrial or family made isn't shit and you stored the stuff competently. I'm not bothering with his channel anymore.

As for Jack, reminder that when he whines about hypocrisy, this is the same retard who only showed up to Planet Fitness to eat pizza. Also don't whine about smoking when you pounded down a Cheddar Burger the day after having both a stroke and heart attack.

 

[D_Tractor]

Ah yes that's a good one, in the beginning: "It's one of my favorite cartoons. It always has been. There's so many good cartoons out there..." Jack basically admitting he does nothing but sit around and watch cartoons all day.

This version is much more appetizing:

 

[Grassy_Knoll]

This version is much more appetizing:

From the thumbnail alone it looks like Jack got his burger construction wrong, a quick visit to the spongebob wiki also confirms this. Well done Jack on fucking up the only thing that could make your shitty burger resemble a krabby patty


And before anyone says he's basing it off the krabby patty from the episode "pickles" just know that its technically a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe and he also fucked that up. Pic related

 

[Dave.]

Decided to keep going down the rabbit hole. He pokes holes into the bacon and the bacon, no surprise, came out dry and crunchy. He then also decided to dry out hashbrowns not in a strainer, but in a fucking dish towel. He doesn't rinse the starch off (or the fucking fabric from the dishtowel for that matter good god that made me MATI) in a sink and instead cooks it unmolested in a used pan he used for the bacon. You guys were not fucking around when you said he was the DSP of cooking, this guy just continues to surprise me with how ineptly he handles even the most barebones basic shit like hashbrowns.

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

Decided to keep going down the rabbit hole. He pokes holes into the bacon and the bacon, no surprise, came out dry and crunchy. He then also decided to dry out hashbrowns not in a strainer, but in a fucking dish towel. He doesn't rinse the starch off (or the fucking fabric from the dishtowel for that matter good god that made me MATI) in a sink and instead cooks it unmolested in a used pan he used for the bacon. You guys were not fucking around when you said he was the DSP of cooking, this guy just continues to surprise me with how ineptly he handles even the most barebones basic shit like hashbrowns.

"That looks more like me....in a more relaxed position too."

Im sure Jack would regret that statement now, if he had the cognizance, awareness or even basic understanding of how comical his is situation is.

 

[Dave.]

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"That looks more like me....in a more relaxed position too."

Im sure Jack would regret that statement now, if he had the cognizance, awareness or even basic understanding of how comical his is situation is.

That looks more like him in a couple more years when he's carried out in the casket.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Faggot paywalled part of the video again, and for a "pro chef" he apparently never made chili. I legit turned it off the moment he did the former, and it was only his co-commentator that kept me from doing it earlier. Also he's a fucking retard; you can easily and safely not worry about frozen food for at least 3 or so months if your freezer, be it industrial or family made isn't shit and you stored the stuff competently. I'm not bothering with his channel anymore.

As for Jack, reminder that when he whines about hypocrisy, this is the same retard who only showed up to Planet Fitness to eat pizza. Also don't whine about smoking when you pounded down a Cheddar Burger the day after having both a stroke and heart attack.

This "chef" is a reality TV poser that runs a hipster sandwich shop in Brooklyn that charges $20 for a fucking hoagie. Not much better than Jack IMO.

 

[AnOminous]

You guys were not fucking around when you said he was the DSP of cooking, this guy just continues to surprise me with how ineptly he handles even the most barebones basic shit like hashbrowns.

And this is actually phenomenal compared to the shit he does now. I note he does one trademark Jackoff move, when he cracks the eggs by smashing them together. Wtf? But he actually flips them without breaking them, which is more than I manage sometimes.

 

[Dave.]

Its the core issue of lolcow commentary content. Lolcow content is funny because of the lolcows, not because some soymale is telling me how BAD and STUPID the lolcow is and how much better they are (no shit). Someone like cobes benefits from a third party cutting down massive amounts of stream footage into condensed content. For someone like Jack that just isnt necessary.

I think it’s more that Jack Scalfani is an easy target. It’s easy to look and see why his cooking techniques are hilariously bad. It’s also easy to point out why his cooking is terrible and why his ingredients don’t work together. Its like watching a “professional” boxer beat up a teddy bear and brag about how he’s totally up there in the big leagues.

 

[densedance]

Not much better than Jack IMO.

Why not? If I had the funds to open up a Doner Kebab shop or some type of Ice Cream Shop in Zurich to charge people 15 bucks for one, then I would do it too. It's the location & apparently the people are there for it. I respect the hustle & that guys intention is miles away from what Jack's footprint is.

 

[Polska krowa]

He then also decided to dry out hashbrowns not in a strainer, but in a fucking dish towel.

In all fairness to Jack, I'm with him on this one, and a lot of chefs are, too. Using a clean dishtowel is the perfect way to prep grated potatoes for hash browns. You need to get absolutely every last drop of water out of it that you can, and a strainer doesn't cut it, paper towels just break down, too.

Edit: it comes out gross, though. Not defending him for any other aspect of that video

 

[Pig Cups]

I have a craving for a JotG video where a nurse pushes him in a wheelchair into an elevator shaft.

FTFY.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Decided to keep going down the rabbit hole. He pokes holes into the bacon and the bacon, no surprise, came out dry and crunchy. He then also decided to dry out hashbrowns not in a strainer, but in a fucking dish towel. He doesn't rinse the starch off (or the fucking fabric from the dishtowel for that matter good god that made me MATI) in a sink and instead cooks it unmolested in a used pan he used for the bacon. You guys were not fucking around when you said he was the DSP of cooking, this guy just continues to surprise me with how ineptly he handles even the most barebones basic shit like hashbrowns.

There's things he does that are legit stupid but... the hash browns aren't necessarily part of this.

Yes the strainer would have gotten rid of the excess water but so does the dish towel. The issue with hash browns is you want to get the water out of the potatoes. That's how you get them to brown. So the secret is you use salt. Shred the spuds, add some salt and let it sit for about 10 minutes. Then take a tea towel, some cheesecloth or whatever and squeeze that liquid out. Fluff them up with a fork then cooking it in the pan you just used to make bacon is perfectly fine. In fact it's recommended because bacon fat is great to cook stuff in.

And if you want crispy flat bacon just cook it in the oven. It also means you can make a large amount of it and the bacon stays flat.

Why not? If I had the funds to open up a Doner Kebab shop or some type of Ice Cream Shop in Zurich to charge people 15 bucks for one, then I would do it too. It's the location & apparently the people are there for it. I respect the hustle & that guys intention is miles away from what Jack's footprint is.

Sure he's charging $20 for a hoagie but what isn't fucking expensive in New York? If the food is good then I don't see the problem. Sure I'm not paying that much for a sandwich, I'd hit an Italian deli and get a big old Italian sanguich for less and get more in the process. But if he's able to make it work then I'm all for it.

 

[Dave.]

There's things he does that are legit stupid but... the hash browns aren't necessarily part of this.

Yes the strainer would have gotten rid of the excess water but so does the dish towel. The issue with hash browns is you want to get the water out of the potatoes. That's how you get them to brown. So the secret is you use salt. Shred the spuds, add some salt and let it sit for about 10 minutes. Then take a tea towel, some cheesecloth or whatever and squeeze that liquid out. Fluff them up with a fork then cooking it in the pan you just used to make bacon is perfectly fine. In fact it's recommended because bacon fat is great to cook stuff in.

And if you want crispy flat bacon just cook it in the oven. It also means you can make a large amount of it and the bacon stays flat.


Sure he's charging $20 for a hoagie but what isn't fucking expensive in New York? If the food is good then I don't see the problem. Sure I'm not paying that much for a sandwich, I'd hit an Italian deli and get a big old Italian sanguich for less and get more in the process. But if he's able to make it work then I'm all for it.

Usually what I do with hashbrowns is I strain them and then wad them up in paper towels then ring them out and set them out to dry for a couple minutes. To me it seemed like using a dishtowel would contaminate then with fabrics and make them kind of hairy, but if it’s viable than Jack did nothing wrong and that’s a mistake on my part.