Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 791 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,391
Usually what I do with hashbrowns is I strain them and then wad them up in paper towels then ring them out and set them out to dry for a couple minutes. To me it seemed like using a dishtowel would contaminate then with fabrics and make them kind of hairy, but if it’s viable than Jack did nothing wrong and that’s a mistake on my part.
I put them in the pan wet (strained wet not wet wet), then take them off the heat and let them steam off for 30 minutes or so before frying them.
 
The past few pages and the various discussions among active users in this thread highlight Jack's status as an elite cow. Only Jagoff can inspire hatewatchers among a group of such varied individuals. We can't all agree on which of his recipe modifications is most egregious but we can pretty much all agree that this guy fucking sucks.
 
The past few pages and the various discussions among active users in this thread highlight Jack's status as an elite cow. Only Jagoff can inspire hatewatchers among a group of such varied individuals. We can't all agree on which of his recipe modifications is most egregious but we can pretty much all agree that this guy fucking sucks.
Honestly it makes Jack fun since anyone can get in on making fun of him.
 
The past few pages and the various discussions among active users in this thread highlight Jack's status as an elite cow. Only Jagoff can inspire hatewatchers among a group of such varied individuals. We can't all agree on which of his recipe modifications is most egregious but we can pretty much all agree that this guy fucking sucks.
He is just such a perfectly balanced individual. The videos are funny enough on face value that he's great for casual "hey guys check out what I found on the tubes" frat house commentary but the lore is still funny if you're into cow history, and he's enough of an unlikable arrogant asshole and master of self-inflicted injuries that it's hard to truly feel bad for him but he's not malicious enough to inspire that evening-ruining urge to kill either.
 
What killed the deal was we had to order 12 of every flavor sauce plus a full case of his "gourmet" seasoning.
What an asshole. And the worst part of it is his "gourmet" seasoning? It's literally onion powder, garlic powder plus salt & pepper. You know things that most people have in their pantry right now.

I believe that, as long as he can speak without sounding like the teacher in Peanuts, there’s a strong chance that Jack will return to CWJ. Even if he’s paralyzed in both arms and wearing an oxygen cannula, he’ll still probably push forward to get his narc fix. The only thing that I can think of that would induce enough shame to get him to quit YouTube would be his speech getting affected.

Yes, he was in a scooty puff before, but let’s not forget that Jack being filmed in a wheelchair is not without precedent:

I could see CWJ devolving into something like that^- disabled Jack doing the intro, narrations, and outro from his wheelchair, while Tammy does all the cooking. She’d basically be doing it out of sympathy- to give the Fat Man some form of enjoyment/purpose in his final days. And how fitting would such an outcome be for Jack? Literally, a man who built an identity around laziness lets his body rot (due to laziness) and ends up with his wife taking over his “show” while his lazy ass does even less in terms of production, yet the show still gets made.
So "Cooking with Jack" would still have him prominently promoted on the channel but he'd just be the "producer" and every week we'd have a guest host that would show one of "Jack's" favorite recipes.

I'd love to then see what Fat on the Go would turn into.

I put them in the pan wet (strained wet not wet wet), then take them off the heat and let them steam off for 30 minutes or so before frying them.
Wouldn't that make them a little gummy?

He is just such a perfectly balanced individual. The videos are funny enough on face value that he's great for casual "hey guys check out what I found on the tubes" frat house commentary but the lore is still funny if you're into cow history, and he's enough of an unlikable arrogant asshole and master of self-inflicted injuries that it's hard to truly feel bad for him but he's not malicious enough to inspire that evening-ruining urge to kill either.
If he had a shred of self-reflection or ability to understand that he comes off as an unlikable jackass especially when he complains about stuff like a toddler then he wouldn't be as fun as he is to make fun of.
 
So he's had another serious health scare...

You really could not make it up. Been watching this plonker for years and wondered why he hasn't uploaded of late.

He spends his life judging others but doesn't have the sense to look after himself. You would think after stroke no.2 and losing the use of your right arm you'd change your ways and perhaps exercise, eat healthy, and try to lose lose weight, but no he has continued to eat crap and in huge portions. I can only assume his wife wants him gone because she encourages the unhealthy eating. I mean the guy has one arm, can't drive, and can barely walk, so without her driving him to places he'd be screwed.

Another thing, he really is the customer from hell. I've never known someone to send food back so often and it's usually because he prefers what someone else ordered i.e. they have a bigger portion. Such a greedy, rude and selfish man.
 
I believe that, as long as he can speak without sounding like the teacher in Peanuts, there’s a strong chance that Jack will return to CWJ. Even if he’s paralyzed in both arms and wearing an oxygen cannula, he’ll still probably push forward to get his narc fix. The only thing that I can think of that would induce enough shame to get him to quit YouTube would be his speech getting affected.

Yes, he was in a scooty puff before, but let’s not forget that Jack being filmed in a wheelchair is not without precedent:

I could see CWJ devolving into something like that^- disabled Jack doing the intro, narrations, and outro from his wheelchair, while Tammy does all the cooking. She’d basically be doing it out of sympathy- to give the Fat Man some form of enjoyment/purpose in his final days. And how fitting would such an outcome be for Jack? Literally, a man who built an identity around laziness lets his body rot (due to laziness) and ends up with his wife taking over his “show” while his lazy ass does even less in terms of production, yet the show still gets made.
Tammy seems pretty annoyed having to do the video lol
 
Tammy seems pretty annoyed having to do the video lol
When does Hammy not sound annoyed? She's stuck in perpetual bitch mode.

But hey "Everybody Needs a Tammy" right?

Not really, not much starch after youve soaked them. I havent done a side by side or anything but to me they just taste like any other hashbrown.
I guess I just don't want to wait 30 minutes before getting my crispy potatoes when I make them for breakfast.
 
A new channel on youtube called Honest Tries is recreating dishes from Jack and others’ terrible cooking videos: https://www.youtube.com/@HonestTries

So far his verdict is that Jack’s food tastes extremely bland. I don’t know if this format works since Jack’s worst offenses are unsanitary and I doubt he’d be willing to recreate raw chicken and burgers for himself to eat. His own kitchen looks very worn down too.
 
Last edited:
A new channel on youtube called Honest Tries is recreating dishes from Jack and others’ terrible cooking videos: https://www.youtube.com/@HonestTries

So far his verdict is that Jack’s food tastes extremely bland. I don’t know is this format works since Jack’s worst offenses are unsanitary and I doubt he’d be willing to rereate raw chicken and burgers for himself to eat. His own kitchen looks very worn down too.
Unless he says "ungyuns" I ain't interested.
 
A new channel on youtube called Honest Tries is recreating dishes from Jack and others’ terrible cooking videos: https://www.youtube.com/@HonestTries

So far his verdict is that Jack’s food tastes extremely bland. I don’t know is this format works since Jack’s worst offenses are unsanitary and I doubt he’d be willing to rereate raw chicken and burgers for himself to eat. His own kitchen looks very worn down too.
"I wonder how worn down his kitchen could really be" first frame in the porkchop video... jfc
stovetop.JPG

edit: Ok, he realizes it looks like shit and proceeds the strip the paint off of it and comments that maybe he should just replace the thing. Fair enough, he's at least self aware and understands it looks like shit, made an attempt to fix it, and realizes he needs to change it. I just don't understand why start with that in the first place...
 
Back