Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[quackrock]

You could just be opposed to aspects of the movement that aim to censor your speech or obfuscate reality.

Literally the entire movement, except for maybe Buck Angel.

 

[Biblical Monstrosity]

My nephew (12) recently came out on Facebook after coming out as gay a few years ago and having been pretty gender non-conforming ever since then. He'd wear makeup, skirts, heeled boots, anything like that. I was pretty excited for the kid because it was nice knowing I wasn't the only LGB member of the family (I'd been out as bisexual since 2021), and his parents (my brother and my sister-in-law) were accepting of it. My SIL took some time getting used to it as she didn't have any LGB family members of her own, but got adjusted quickly.
I was worried as prior to him making his own announcement, his mom had used "they/them" in reference to him in a post talking about his school achievements. The kid is smart, has been on honor roll for a while. But he's got a lot of social anxiety and very few friends. He's always struggled with coming out of his shell and never really talks to anyone at family events, just sticks in the corner and doesn't interact. I always try to make him feel included because when I was his age I was the same way. Due to my own problems I'd trooned out for a few years to try and fit in with that crowd, but thankfully my mom was unaccepting of it and I eventually realized I'd only felt that way because I wanted acceptance from somewhere. Admittedly, I also felt the "need" to transition and be seen as explicitly not a woman because of prior history of sexual assault. I figured, hey, if I'm not a woman then men won't hurt me anymore. Which is absolutely not how that works, and it isn't a healthy coping mechanism for those thoughts either. I'm fucking infuriated that instead of trying to help me work through those feelings, my therapist supported me getting top surgery because I felt if I still had tits men would continue to hurt me.
My family is unaware that I'm a TERF since I'd been a TRA for so long and so I'm trying my best to be faux-supportive. I peaked last year and having this happen was sort of a smack to the face. My hope is that the kid comes out of his shell and changes his mind, but the younger generation is so vicious about detransitioning. He's definitely going to get bullied when he enters high school if he still behaves that way by then, and I know that's just going to make him feel even worse. I am praying his parents don't allow him to do any sort of puberty blockers or HRT because he's so young.

 

[Sarcastic sockpuppet]

My nephew (12) recently came out on Facebook after coming out as gay a few years ago and having been pretty gender non-conforming ever since then. He'd wear makeup, skirts, heeled boots, anything like that. I was pretty excited for the kid because it was nice knowing I wasn't the only LGB member of the family (I'd been out as bisexual since 2021), and his parents (my brother and my sister-in-law) were accepting of it. My SIL took some time getting used to it as she didn't have any LGB family members of her own, but got adjusted quickly.
I was worried as prior to him making his own announcement, his mom had used "they/them" in reference to him in a post talking about his school achievements. The kid is smart, has been on honor roll for a while. But he's got a lot of social anxiety and very few friends. He's always struggled with coming out of his shell and never really talks to anyone at family events, just sticks in the corner and doesn't interact. I always try to make him feel included because when I was his age I was the same way. Due to my own problems I'd trooned out for a few years to try and fit in with that crowd, but thankfully my mom was unaccepting of it and I eventually realized I'd only felt that way because I wanted acceptance from somewhere. Admittedly, I also felt the "need" to transition and be seen as explicitly not a woman because of prior history of sexual assault. I figured, hey, if I'm not a woman then men won't hurt me anymore. Which is absolutely not how that works, and it isn't a healthy coping mechanism for those thoughts either. I'm fucking infuriated that instead of trying to help me work through those feelings, my therapist supported me getting top surgery because I felt if I still had tits men would continue to hurt me.
My family is unaware that I'm a TERF since I'd been a TRA for so long and so I'm trying my best to be faux-supportive. I peaked last year and having this happen was sort of a smack to the face. My hope is that the kid comes out of his shell and changes his mind, but the younger generation is so vicious about detransitioning. He's definitely going to get bullied when he enters high school if he still behaves that way by then, and I know that's just going to make him feel even worse. I am praying his parents don't allow him to do any sort of puberty blockers or HRT because he's so young.

It seems like you are in the perfect spot to warn your family. You should be able to convince them to not put this kid on blockers just now.

Also i am not sure his generation is gonna be so mean to detransitioners. Real life isn't twitter, and those kids will definitly meet more than one detrans during their life.

 

[teriyakiburns]

My nephew (12) recently came out on Facebook after coming out as gay a few years ago

A few years ago? So he was, what, single digits age when he came out gay?

I have trouble believing this.

 

[Biblical Monstrosity]

A few years ago? So he was, what, single digits age when he came out gay?

I have trouble believing this.

He was around 10, he turns 13 later this year. It's not terribly uncommon for kids around that age to realize what their sexuality is as that's when self exploration begins. Why would I lie on Kiwi Farms dot com about something so retarded?

 

[Fapcop]

My nephew (12) recently came out on Facebook after coming out as gay a few years ago and having been pretty gender non-conforming ever since then. He'd wear makeup, skirts, heeled boots, anything like that. I was pretty excited for the kid because it was nice knowing I wasn't the only LGB member of the family (I'd been out as bisexual since 2021), and his parents (my brother and my sister-in-law) were accepting of it. My SIL took some time getting used to it as she didn't have any LGB family members of her own, but got adjusted quickly.
I was worried as prior to him making his own announcement, his mom had used "they/them" in reference to him in a post talking about his school achievements. The kid is smart, has been on honor roll for a while. But he's got a lot of social anxiety and very few friends. He's always struggled with coming out of his shell and never really talks to anyone at family events, just sticks in the corner and doesn't interact. I always try to make him feel included because when I was his age I was the same way. Due to my own problems I'd trooned out for a few years to try and fit in with that crowd, but thankfully my mom was unaccepting of it and I eventually realized I'd only felt that way because I wanted acceptance from somewhere. Admittedly, I also felt the "need" to transition and be seen as explicitly not a woman because of prior history of sexual assault. I figured, hey, if I'm not a woman then men won't hurt me anymore. Which is absolutely not how that works, and it isn't a healthy coping mechanism for those thoughts either. I'm fucking infuriated that instead of trying to help me work through those feelings, my therapist supported me getting top surgery because I felt if I still had tits men would continue to hurt me.
My family is unaware that I'm a TERF since I'd been a TRA for so long and so I'm trying my best to be faux-supportive. I peaked last year and having this happen was sort of a smack to the face. My hope is that the kid comes out of his shell and changes his mind, but the younger generation is so vicious about detransitioning. He's definitely going to get bullied when he enters high school if he still behaves that way by then, and I know that's just going to make him feel even worse. I am praying his parents don't allow him to do any sort of puberty blockers or HRT because he's so young.

Fucking hell… Coming out as “gay” at 10?! Some kids still believe in Santa Claus at that age.

Kid is fucked.

I was about to write that you probably have some sort of special responsibility to prevent the kid (and parents) from trooning out and doing stupid gendershit, given that you been there yourself.

(You know, like those old ass gangbangers who served decades for a homicide, and now run anti gang programs in the 50ies?)

But fuck it, let’s be real. Kid “came out” at ten years old, he’s most likely fucked bo matter what you do.

 

[WTBOnlineFather]

Also i am not sure his generation is gonna be so mean to detransitioners

My nigga, kids are mean to everyone who stands out in any way. Kids can be brutal. And if he doesn't detroon before he finishes school and into his 20s, he will have caused a lot of damage to his social life and by extension mental health by that point. It's a loss/loss situation. Pretty horrifying.
Letting a chuuni aged kid with social anxiety transition at all is a terrible decision. Kid needs his parents to help him fix his self esteem and his relations with others, not for them to let him freely run both into the ground by making a clown out of himself.

 

[Fapcop]

My nigga, kids are mean to everyone who stands out in any way. Kids can be brutal. And if he doesn't detroon before he finishes school and into his 20s, he will have caused a lot of damage to his social life and by extension mental health by that point. It's a loss/loss situation. Pretty horrifying.
Letting a chuuni aged kid with social anxiety transition at all is a terrible decision. Kid needs his parents to help him fix his self esteem and his relations with others, not for them to let him freely run both into the ground by making a clown out of himself.

True. What some kids say, is a far less important issue than being sterile and mutilated in your 20ies.

It’s the parents job to step in and you know… BE PARENTS, but it sounds like that ship has sailed.

 

[teriyakiburns]

He was around 10, he turns 13 later this year. It's not terribly uncommon for kids around that age to realize what their sexuality is as that's when self exploration begins. Why would I lie on Kiwi Farms dot com about something so retarded?

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm saying I don't believe a kid that young would understand enough about sexuality to even grasp what being gay means, let alone come out. If a kid is sexualising himself below the age of 14 or so, something has gone very wrong. The fact that he's now trooning at such a young age strengthens my opinion; someone has been grooming that child for a long time.

 

[Fapcop]

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm saying I don't believe a kid that young would understand enough about sexuality to even grasp what being gay means, let alone come out. If a kid is sexualising himself below the age of 14 or so, something has gone very wrong. The fact that he's now trooning at such a young age strengthens my opinion; someone has been grooming that child for a long time.

Word.

A “gay” 12 year old is like a vegan cat. Shit didn’t just “happen”.

 

[Vingle]

I remember that I did show an interest in my own gender when I was like 12 or so. I didn't have any concept of that it was called gay or that it was unusual. And only thing that made me think otherwise, was when I began being bullied for it.

It's okay if the kid just like it's own gender from that early on, but if it started acting like a fag that young. It was definitely groomed.

 

[JamusActimus]

My cousin's daughter came out as NB recently (she's 13)
The mom is ultra weird and into the gender omnibus.

I am a bit worried because NB is usually an entry into cutting your tits and having a neo dick.

What worries me the most is the younger one (12 year old boy). He's very effeminate already so a troon arc in the future seems likely.
He's also very autistic (does not manage to talk sometimes level of tism).
He's already getting bullied he does not need more reason to be tortured by his classmates.

Don't think I can do that much beside supporting my cousin in that shitty situation. He tries to be supportive but I know he's depressed and a bit dead inside because of this.

Little update.

According to my cousin, she wanted to go by Doug but my cousin made her change her mind by telling her the neighbour's cat had the same name so that would be weird.
She opted for [Word in a niche language that sounds like an insult ]
I noticed she's an anime avatar also (on whatsapp).

My cousin is still in denial and coping. He said he's happy for her blahblah blah.
It's just the beginning imo.

 

[Raging Capybara]

Word.

A “gay” 12 year old is like a vegan cat. Shit didn’t just “happen”.

I knew I was a faggot when I was 8 or 9.

It's normal, man.

 

[Blue Whirlwind]

My nephew (12) recently came out on Facebook after coming out as gay a few years ago and having been pretty gender non-conforming ever since then. He'd wear makeup, skirts, heeled boots, anything like that. I was pretty excited for the kid because it was nice knowing I wasn't the only LGB member of the family (I'd been out as bisexual since 2021), and his parents (my brother and my sister-in-law) were accepting of it. My SIL took some time getting used to it as she didn't have any LGB family members of her own, but got adjusted quickly.
I was worried as prior to him making his own announcement, his mom had used "they/them" in reference to him in a post talking about his school achievements. The kid is smart, has been on honor roll for a while. But he's got a lot of social anxiety and very few friends. He's always struggled with coming out of his shell and never really talks to anyone at family events, just sticks in the corner and doesn't interact. I always try to make him feel included because when I was his age I was the same way. Due to my own problems I'd trooned out for a few years to try and fit in with that crowd, but thankfully my mom was unaccepting of it and I eventually realized I'd only felt that way because I wanted acceptance from somewhere. Admittedly, I also felt the "need" to transition and be seen as explicitly not a woman because of prior history of sexual assault. I figured, hey, if I'm not a woman then men won't hurt me anymore. Which is absolutely not how that works, and it isn't a healthy coping mechanism for those thoughts either. I'm fucking infuriated that instead of trying to help me work through those feelings, my therapist supported me getting top surgery because I felt if I still had tits men would continue to hurt me.
My family is unaware that I'm a TERF since I'd been a TRA for so long and so I'm trying my best to be faux-supportive. I peaked last year and having this happen was sort of a smack to the face. My hope is that the kid comes out of his shell and changes his mind, but the younger generation is so vicious about detransitioning. He's definitely going to get bullied when he enters high school if he still behaves that way by then, and I know that's just going to make him feel even worse. I am praying his parents don't allow him to do any sort of puberty blockers or HRT because he's so young.

I'm surprised- you say your mom was "unaccepting", yet now you feel the same way your family doesn't know? Sounds like you've actually got a position to do something about it, especially if you've got someone else batting in your corner.

 

[Fapcop]

I knew I was a faggot when I was 8 or 9.

It's normal, man.

There’s a difference between knowing you feel some attraction and/or feeling a little different, and “coming out” as fat at 10.

Kids living a healthy life are way too busy with every day kid stuff, than to worry about sexuality.

There are two kinds of children who become sexually active/preoccupied with sex before they’re 12: Kids who are groomed/sexualized and kids with major issues in their life already.

 

[Eden Seeker]

Hey, first of all, my condolences to anyone who'd lost a friend or a family member. Stuff you write here is genuinely scary, I hope most of the people discussed here will go on to improve their life and not get tossed out the bottom end.
Made an account to post, so hello y'lot, you all are terrible people and will burn in hell, evidently I am too. A lot of feelings shit incoming, b'hey, no one's forcing you to read.
Probably not the first one to do it here but I wanted to share my side of the story, as I feel like my Dad in particular woulda liked this thread very much (and he probably did, judging by the things he yelled). So, I'm an AGP MtF, by the terminology usually used here. Lately I've been putting in some effort to understanding the other side of the story, and discovered that you can't really discuss a lot of this stuff with other trans ppl, because they will yell at you. Maybe not an every single one, but there'll be 1 in a chat of like 20 people that'll yell you out. So I guess I came here to discuss it with the terrible people.
I guess I should say that I don't care you think I'm a freak. I know I'm a freak and not really a woman. I also can't really live a normal life. If you want to know more, I highly recommend reading "Men Trapped In Men's Bodies", it's a cool book with an edgy name. The author's biased as shit, but that doesn't matter cause the documentary work is in the book. I don't indoctrinate other people, I don't condone frivolous medication use. Y'all pearl-clutchers can fuck off, we've long established that being a freak per se is okay, actually.
I share a lot of the sentiment about recent crazes, people claiming they're trans for brownie points, and experimenting youths. I had no idea you guys over there in 'Murica had it that bad with it, though. The trans hate never made sense to me living in The Other Empire, but now I see. Btw, thanks to these fine people for introducing me to newthoughtcrime.com. It's obviously biased as hell too, the author's asking so many suggestive questions it's not even funny. But it has real citations for some of the shit that usually flies without citations.
Now I guess the rants. I've had a Vaush-head acquaintance pull the trans card (and quietly pull it back after a year later) after having struggle with socialization and being borderline incel. As a tranny, I've seen some trannies and this bestubbled guy with his lust for loud arguments was not a woman even in principle. I didn't say anything at the time cuz well, I was trans, I didn't wanna seem hypocritical, and I have a general policy of keeping my mouth shut when I all I have is unsolicited advice. So I guess not "lost" and not "friend", but something like that. I'm glad he figured it out, hopefully he stops being a Vaushite too.
The second story is

Spoiler: i think you guys call oversharing identifying information powerleveling?

It's my partner. She's a woman, we met after I already decided to transition, and well, we talked it out and it's working out so far. However, lately she fell in with some very VERY attention-whoery people, who go by they'them despite being so overtly cisgender I have honestly no idea what's going on; and she decided she needs new pronouns too. That alone wouldn't worry me too much, but the added factor is that she started way overestimating how well I pass. I know I'm currently not a treat to look at, and well, I'm working on it and simply making no moves to insist anyone call me a woman in the meantime. But she once suggested that I go to a fucking women's public sauna with her, and I was like, sorry what? I don't think it's a good idea, hun.
So, I've been thinking how to talk to her about this because she seems mad every time I try to bring this up.

Now I guess is where I'll take up space by personal thoughts and feelings.

Spoiler: what I think of the trans lobby

I think that the narcissists that invade every space invaded this one, too. Sorry to sound like a Twitter bio, but I'm an actual, diagnosed-in-early-childhood-and-had-tranquilizers-shot-into-me ADHD-sperg (yes, even before you were feeding kids speed, we injected kids with heavy neuroleptics) with autistic tendencies, and you better believe me that I fucking detest that I cannot bring any of that up without being considering laughingstock and attention-whore, and I have to share my spaces with laughing-stocks, attention-whores, and people who just fucking LOVE Adderal for no reason at all. It's a viral fad - I've had as many younger acquaintances go into trans as going into radfem (sorry, ladies, people do your ideology for social credit!). And it's a viral fad that ruins lives, evidently.
I think that in the trans case, the narcissists somehow simply got a lucky break. Maybe it's all the AGP/HSTS confusion that was misinterpreted wildly and that opened the door to the divide we have today - with people being disgusted on one side and obnoxiously loud on the other. Maybe this is just a problem humanity needs to figure out, how to arrange the gender-freaks within society in a non-destructive way. It certainly can be done, I believe in that.
I'm super tired of narcissists. they make us freaks look bad. I'm super tired of society that forbids, at some level, discussion about certain topics, even a scientific one, which in my opinion just results in lost lives like the ones in this thread.
Being a freak is cool, actually, as long as you don't hurt anyone. Chopping your dick off and roleplaying on Twitter does not count as hurting anyone. The kind of "grooming" you all describe kinda does. Over the years I've had my encounters with the grooming trans kind, I've seen a person change from tradwife to growing a beard with uncanny swiftness. I don't think it's malice, I don't think there's a conspiracy going on here, I think it's the modern version of doing brazen things with your life instead of confronting your problems.

Spoiler: some personal stuff I shouldn't be positing here

So, like I said, the reason I'm posting here is mostly cuz of my Dad. He was adamant that I've been manipulated by some kind of cult, suckered into prostitution and life of sin, when in reality, I hung out with some nice FtM, MtF and non-binary (the kind you can tell they're non-binary by looking at them) people, but it wasn't cult-like. It was a support group, and we constantly talked about figuring ourselves out, traumatic shit in our lives concerning dysphoria, etc. I seeked out that group myself after learning from books what being transgender is like. I guess it's not as popular over here, or wasn't 10 or so years ago, there was simply no indoctrination. And yes, dysphoria is real in AGP trans-women too, sorry to say. You get the overwhelming sensation of shame when you're next to a mirror in full man-mode, it's not nice.
Judging by the stories you tell, I now see what cult he was afraid of. I wish I had the guts to say it wasn't like that for me, that I have a life I want to uphold, I've consulted with countless specialists, and I know what I'm doing with myself - but he wouldn't believe me; I don't have the guts to try anyway, and he kinda went to war. Probably none of you would believe me either, but well, I tried.

Wanna close off repeating that I am sorry for y'all's losses. It's surreal, seeing so many stories of bereavement that just don't get talked about.

 

[Biblical Monstrosity]

I'm surprised- you say your mom was "unaccepting", yet now you feel the same way your family doesn't know? Sounds like you've actually got a position to do something about it, especially if you've got someone else batting in your corner.

As I'd mentioned, I peaked as a TERF last year and had been a pretty raging TRA for several years prior. All of my siblings are as well which makes me the odd one out in us. My mom is oldschool so that's why she'd reacted the way she did when I "came out" to her as a tranny years ago. She's fine with people being gay/bisexual, but transgenderism is something that escapes her.
Thank you guys for the feels. I saw that several people suggested I step in and try to steer his parents away from supporting him, but as was mentioned, my brother is totally fine with it. My SIL and I aren't very close either so I feel sort of at a loss as to what I can do without coming across as overbearing. He isn't my kid, sure, but I've been in his shoes and that's really all I could say to make them second think making any steps in helping him transition. I'm sure I'll hear through the grapevine if they decide to go that far. The only people in my court are my parents and we're outnumbered since everyone else is coddling the genderspecials. And I'd hate to lose my siblings over something that feels trivial. It's just a lot of mixed emotions and I really thought I'd never have my own story to post in this thread.

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm saying I don't believe a kid that young would understand enough about sexuality to even grasp what being gay means, let alone come out. If a kid is sexualising himself below the age of 14 or so, something has gone very wrong. The fact that he's now trooning at such a young age strengthens my opinion; someone has been grooming that child for a long time.

This also terrifies me. He's online a lot and the thought that someone he knows on the internet could be influencing these thoughts is so scary.

 

[Raging Capybara]

There’s a difference between knowing you feel some attraction and/or feeling a little different, and “coming out” as fat at 10.

Kids copy others all the time, they do what they see on TV and tiktok.

I think this is more cringe than anything concerning.

 

[sheepworldvizor]

@Eden Seeker I'll make this brief. Here's what stands out to me in your post:
1. "you can't really discuss a lot of this stuff with other trans ppl, because they will yell at you"
2. "I've been thinking how to talk to her about this because she seems mad every time I try to bring this up"
3. "diagnosed-in-early-childhood-and-had-tranquilizers-shot-into-me ADHD-sperg"

I'm sorry the child you were didn't receive the care you deserved. Your partner should be the one person you can talk openly to, without fear. But your closest relationship and your own trans community are controlling you - controlling what you even talk about through fear of repercussion.

That's...cult shit.

FWIW I don't believe you're a freak. You're too self aware.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

diagnosed-in-early-childhood-and-had-tranquilizers-shot-into-me ADHD-sperg (yes, even before you were feeding kids speed, we injected kids with heavy neuroleptics) with autistic tendencies

Every time .

CS major by any chance? @Eden Seeker