Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Procrastinhater]

You guys do whatever but I will remain skeptical regarding all troons including the "one-of-the-good-ones" guys. Too often they end up basking in the attention of being one-of-the-good-ones and dominate spaces/threads. They're also all perverted but in a totally fun respectful private way! Sure, buddy.

Absolutely, but you catch more flies with honey, I wanna see what this one has to say. As long as he doesn't start acting like a faggot that is.

 

[Xenomorph.]

Nah man. You didn’t overstep.

Society wouldn't expect you to politely tapdance around someone’s actions and failures if they had pimped out their kids to pedos, or got their kids addicted to drugs.

Trooning out your kid is ruining their life, even if it’s “acceptable” among parts of polite society.

Fuck that “their body their choice” jazz. It’s time we take more responsibility for each other, and yes: Bring back shaming.

Thanks dude, it really means a lot. As virtue signaling as it sounds, I don't see anyone else holding these people accountable. I only get so pissed because I fucking care. If it was me, I would want someone fighting tooth and nail to tell me the truth. As much as we make fun of them, a lot of these cases are so fucking tragic.

 

[Wallace]

Thanks dude, it really means a lot. As virtue signaling as it sounds, I don't see anyone else holding these people accountable. I only get so pissed because I fucking care. If it was me, I would want someone fighting tooth and nail to tell me the truth. As much as we make fun of them, a lot of these cases are so fucking tragic.

Troonery happens because people become emotionally invested in the lies that it promises. The lie of a community of unconditional acceptance and affirmation, the lie of an escape from the discomfort of your past--or your future, and of course the men turning into women because they say so and vice versa.

Don't underestimate people's capacity for self-deception when the lie they believe is one that makes them feel good.

EDIT: Teasing out these reasons why is key to saving you loved from trooning. Try asking them how being trans benefits them personally, or what it means to be a man, or a woman. Get them talking. When you shine the light of awareness on those hangups, it will lessen their hold.

 

[Disability Fat]

There’s a difference between knowing you feel some attraction and/or feeling a little different, and “coming out” as fat at 10.

Kids living a healthy life are way too busy with every day kid stuff, than to worry about sexuality.

There are two kinds of children who become sexually active/preoccupied with sex before they’re 12: Kids who are groomed/sexualized and kids with major issues in their life already.

"Coming out" at an age earlier than your teens is suspect to me. Kids do NOT understand sex or sexuality unless there's been exposure, such as abuse.

Power level: When I was in that odd phase of life, the "still a kid but puberty is still not there yet", I liked women quite a bit, but I didn't think anything of it and didn't understand why, and there was no sexual component. It was only into my 20s did I think back on it and realize that it was a budding clue as to my sexuality (bisexual). I absolutely didn't understand this as a kid, and didn't connect the dots until my 20s after the experience of puberty and went through that experience in life.

Outside of abuse, I think that a lot of this "kid coming out as rainbow person" is realising shit later on and thinking you knew it all at that earlier age. Hindsight is 20/20.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

We had a guest speaker at my institution recently. Late 60s lady, well respected in our field. I was looking at her bio and it said 'Married to Mary [Surname] for 44 years, they have two children' and at first I thought hunh, lesbians who had some sort of commitment ceremony in the 70s and consider it a marriage anniversary? But no! Of course not! The husband trooned out. Came out Fall 2021.

I found pictures of them from before. Just the most normal older white guy you could imagine. And of course 'Mary' came out after retirement.

My particular institution is very liberal, but there are other areas of our field that are very decidedly not liberal. I can't imagine being an older straight woman who has suddenly been thrust into being 'queer' through no choice of her own. Or what the adult children think.

 

[Swede]

I know two people from my school that have become trans.

One was a girl that had chose an "so cool and edgy" name instead of a normal boy name and made literally no effort to pass besides cutting her hair, so now she just looks like an emo girl. Yet she still calls herself gay.

The second one was friends with the first one (I immediately found this suspicious because maybe she convinced her she was trans) and she became twice as annoying as she was before, dyed her hair an ugly pink color and had a breakdown over something she was given that had her deadname on it.

 

[Toolbox]

I wouldn't let him use Discord, and I make sure I'm paying for Robux after I realised that kids with no regular access to the cryoptocurrency that is Robux tended to get sucked in to grooming circles just to get some ro-cash.

Roblox as a whole has gone down the shitter over the years and as it's grown in popularity. If you want to see how bad things really are we've at least got a long running thread. I'm not going to try to moderate your parenting but I don't think shoveling money to Roblox is the answer. I really would suggest trying to wean them off the game entirely, if possible. Discord is also one of a few social media platforms Roblox allowed devs to add links to on their game pages and they themselves have a twitter. If your kid is on Roblox they will be influenced towards using these sites. Roblox does have it's own chat but at this point it might as well be going towards being a deprecated feature. I've seen what the site has become over several years personally. Nowadays it might as well be concentrated child brainrot. Even if you're giving your kid Robux, there are several LGBT groups on the site and Roblox doesn't really care to moderate them. Getting them to care about removing anything besides copywritten content is like pulling teeth.

 

[SIMIΔN]

We had a guest speaker at my institution recently. Late 60s lady, well respected in our field. I was looking at her bio and it said 'Married to Mary [Surname] for 44 years, they have two children' and at first I thought hunh, lesbians who had some sort of commitment ceremony in the 70s and consider it a marriage anniversary? But no! Of course not! The husband trooned out. Came out Fall 2021.

The former would be brave and beautiful, the later horrible selfishness by her spouse.

Nowadays it might as well be concentrated child brainrot. Even if you're giving your kid Robux, there are several LGBT groups on the site and Roblox doesn't really care to moderate them. Getting them to care about removing anything besides copywritten content is like pulling teeth.

LGBT activism is still crowbarring adult behaviour into children's lives. The hypothetical hetro equivalent would be akin to someone spamming the chat with "BOYS KISSING GIRLS IS YOUR MAIN SOURCE OF IDENTITY."
Gay identifying kids, are as bad as pussy hound young boys and flirtatious infant girls. Something must have seriously went wrong to make precocious adult behaviour manifest so early.

 

[2525ABC]

Gay identifying kids, are as bad as pussy hound young boys and flirtatious infant girls.

We've also apparently lost the ability to run kidspeak through an age-comprehension filter.

"When I'm a grown up I'm going to marry daddy" == "I have received the cultural message that I will marry a man and my dad is the best one I know"

"When I grow up I'm gonna marry both of my bffs" == "I have learnt I can marry a boy or a girl and so I'm gonna marry my bffs and play Roblox all day every day for ever"

"When I grow up I'm gonna be a cat and marry a cat and have cat babies" == "I'm a weird kid and I'm a bit slow. Begin anti-furry propaganda campaign now."

Except now we have coombrained fail parents who are heart-eye-emoji OMG my 4yo has ddlg kink / is gay polyam geekgurl / is a catgirl with a breeding kink SO HECKIN' QUEER AND VALID!!1!

 

[Meiwaku]

So instead of shitting up the thread I'll actually contribute my story.

I had this friend, lets call her Suzie. Suzie was a bit of an aspie and "one of the guys" type of girls; not really a tomboy, but felt comfortable around guys and shared a lot of stereotypically male interests. Well Suzie would sometimes have what she called "boy days;" days where she'd dress as masculine as possible. We'd always treat Suzie a little softer on her boy days, because she always seemed extra touchy about things. A little more sensitive to banter, a little more quick to storm off in a huff.

So one day I'm out chilling with Suzie, having a smoke, just me and her. We're talking bad relationships, and Suzie trumps mine because she got groomed by a creep when she was 14. I'd known this already, but then she drops that she still has pretty severe nightmares about it. And I ask, in the gentlest way possible, "Are those the days you dress like a boy?"

Suzie: "Yes."

I'm quiet for a long bit, and don't let anything show. Then, as casually as I can I say "Sounds like it's a coping mechanism."

It's Suzies turn to be quiet. Then she says "I never thought of it like that."

She never had a boy day after that. Maybe she had a breakthrough, maybe it was the new anti-depressents they got her on not long after our talk. I don't know, I'm no psychiatrist.

Doing the lords work here

 

[mold]

I don't think there is an "alternative treatment", philias are sexual orientations and are, according to all of the psychiatric research from the last century, immutable

I think psychedelic treatment + the will to change can absolutely shift paraphilias, but I also think that legal institutional psychedelic treatment is going to be set up in such as a way as to preclude this and define anything having to do with sexuality as banned "conversion therapy." so if you want to pursue this path get on it now.

 

[Asian tech support]

The younger brother of one of my good friends growing up is trooning out, apparently at the behest of his mulatto girlfriend. I haven't seen the guy for almost 10 years and this kid is maybe 8 or 9 years younger than me. I don't remember him as anything more than a elementary schooler so it's not like I was close with the guy.

I'm hearing about this through my buddy. Here's the setup: kid is 19 or 20 ish living with the parents somewhere on the west coast. Kid is spoiled and has never had a job. Six months ago he gets this girlfriend and she treats him like a doormat. The family hates her, she takes everything they have for granted. A month ago she convinces the kid to troon out. No hrt yet, just dresses, makeup, and being obnoxious. The dad is checked out but the mom is super against it. Unfortunately the mom hasn't gotten to the point of issuing some kind of ultimatum. I feel bad for the kid but it's kind of surreal to hear about this happening in real time.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

The younger brother of one of my good friends growing up is trooning out, apparently at the behest of his mulatto girlfriend. I haven't seen the guy for almost 10 years and this kid is maybe 8 or 9 years younger than me. I don't remember him as anything more than a elementary schooler so it's not like I was close with the guy.

I'm hearing about this through my buddy. Here's the setup: kid is 19 or 20 ish living with the parents somewhere on the west coast. Kid is spoiled and has never had a job. Six months ago he gets this girlfriend and she treats him like a doormat. The family hates her, she takes everything they have for granted. A month ago she convinces the kid to troon out. No hrt yet, just dresses, makeup, and being obnoxious. The dad is checked out but the mom is super against it. Unfortunately the mom hasn't gotten to the point of issuing some kind of ultimatum. I feel bad for the kid but it's kind of surreal to hear about this happening in real time.

>west coast
>spoiled kid
>no job
>simp

It all checks out.

 

[La Salpêtrière]

The thing is, from age 4 or 5 I was doing things like secretly trying on my mom's makeup or nail polish despite growing up in a conservative Christian household and going to a Catholic school. When puberty started changing my body I came down with depression that did not go away, along with exactly what you mention, violent and inexplicable urges to cut off that part of my body. I also pretended to be a girl in online chatrooms looking for cybersex with guys from 11 or 12 (saying I was older), as well as pretending to be a girl in any video game i played (my voice was high enough to pass). This was all without any encouragement or anyone putting ideas in my mind whatsoever. So some people are probably born with it.

I considered trying to transition as a teen but I wasn't brave enough to be open about it with my parents and risk getting disowned or worse. I had good prospects and was studying software engineering at a top university until I gave in to the depression and started attempting suicide. Of course, that's when my parents calmed down and started letting me do what I wanted but I haven't been able to recover.

What I don't understand is the reason for viscerally disliking trans people. You could just be opposed to aspects of the movement that aim to censor your speech or obfuscate reality.

Listen retard, i'm going to say this in the kindest way possible: You aren't a women in the same way that schizos aren't actually Napoleon Bonaparte. This is valid for all delusions or obsessive ideas. Thinking you're something doesnt make you something. And even if inner reality shenanigans are strong enough to affect the person's daily life (they're the génesis of pretty much how we interact with the world after all) it doesnt mean we should take them at face value ok? Neurotics don't actually want to kill people, psychotics aren't the second comming of Christ, society wouldnt be better if we let perverts roam free-range and you aren't a women.
That being said: "transgenderism" it's actually impossible to separate from "the movimient that sensors your speech" (from now we would call it Queer Ideology ir QI) because it's a result of it. "B-but crossdressers always existed" yes and they werent an specific political category that swears they need special attention and rights (read:privileges) or life altering monstrous surgeries for that matter. An ultra fag of yesterday hardly have something in common with the amholes of today.
"Trans" is an ideoligical thing. It's not the excess, it's the whole premise. And gender dysphoria doesnt exist either, it's either neurosis (who can get pretty bad but you see, we don't validate obsesive and neurotic ideas) or psychois (and even if we don't confront psychotics we don't validate them either) or perverts (the agps, coom-indused ilnesses. We shouldn't interact with those individuals at all). Pick your posion but the point is no one has a ladybrain, or a gendered soul, "gender dysphoria" has no biomarkers and has 0 business to be treated like a biological disease. If someone kills themselves, it's not because the fabled gender dysphoria. It's either depression and trauma and those have biomarks and shit, and thats why they're treated by both medicine and psychology. Gender dysphoria has nothing and Big Pharma shouldn't have any horse on this race, but the fact it has (and how deep it runs) tells you everything youn eed to know about this nonsense.
Recognize "trans" in any way it's recognize QI. and recognize QI is giving way to the soldiers-preachers of GloboHomo, and those inherently want to tamper your rights and fuck your kids. There is no based tranny because being a tranny itself its pleading allegance to the QI, you can play all the bratty sub you want but it's not fooling anyone (it's their term after all, seach John money) i'm pretty sure you're fine as a person but this whole nonsense is leaving people very tired so even humoring your delusions in an entirely personal scale it's a lot to ask nowdays.

 

[Lurk Jurk]

We had a guest speaker at my institution recently. Late 60s lady, well respected in our field. I was looking at her bio and it said 'Married to Mary [Surname] for 44 years, they have two children' and at first I thought hunh, lesbians who had some sort of commitment ceremony in the 70s and consider it a marriage anniversary? But no! Of course not! The husband trooned out. Came out Fall 2021.

I found pictures of them from before. Just the most normal older white guy you could imagine. And of course 'Mary' came out after retirement.

My particular institution is very liberal, but there are other areas of our field that are very decidedly not liberal. I can't imagine being an older straight woman who has suddenly been thrust into being 'queer' through no choice of her own. Or what the adult children think.

How fucking disrespectful must that be to gay people who fought for legal marriage rights. Here's a straight couple who never had that problem LARPing as lesbians!

 

[Vingle]

How fucking disrespectful must that be to gay people who fought for legal marriage rights. Here's a straight couple who never had that problem LARPing as lesbians!

We have this tranny movement because society did loosen their rights on gays.
They really deserve all the disrespect and fags is a real threat to society.

This is what happens when people are being stupid because of kindness. It will be abused.

 

[Fapcop]

Neurotics don't actually want to kill people, psychotics aren't the second comming of Christ, society

We have this tranny movement because society did loosen their rights on gays.
They really deserve all the disrespect and fags is a real threat to society.

This is what happens when people are being stupid because of kindness. It will be abused.

NGL, there was that sign of homo narcissism during the whole marriage debate.

Conservatives: “Well, marriage is a religious union between a man and a woman… But we can make civil partnerships that will give you the exact same rights and…”

Fags: “NO! Not good enough! We want MARRIAGE RIGHTS! You HAVE to accept it!”

Conservatives: “But… Civil partnerships will be functionally the same? And you’re not even religious?!

Fags: “MARRIAGE! RIGHTS! We’re not equal until we can make some old woman at a registry office visually uncomfortable!”

 

[Maldavius Figtree]

I’ve seen quite some users here talk about their own urge to troon out or become nonbinary or anything like that. Not talking to someone specific, but some of you need to hear this.

There is no hidden true „you“. There is no truer identity you possess than the one you show outwards. What you are is what you are. People hear your voice the way it sounds on a recording, not the way you hear it inside your head. The recording voice *is* your real voice. Same goes for every single facet of your identity.
You can change the way you interact with people, talk to people, the way you live your life. What is inside your head does not matter. Changing your pronouns or trying to force others to accept a new self chosen identity of yours in any way does not change what and who you *are*. The map is not the territory, in the same way that the perception of you is not you. Stop trying to change your identity by controlling the way others see and regard you.
You do not have gender dysphoria and you do not have autism. You have narcissistic personality disorder, and since you know the definition of npd, your subconscious is shielding you from that truth by ways of performative self-loathing. See, I’m not grandiose, I can’t be narcissistic! Oh, but you are, and you will never be happy unless you change the way you treat others. Especially you timid, insecure, gentle souls. And I hope you will be happy some day.

 

[Corn Flakes]

I’ve seen quite some users here talk about their own urge to troon out or become nonbinary or anything like that. Not talking to someone specific, but some of you need to hear this.

There is no hidden true „you“. There is no truer identity you possess than the one you show outwards. What you are is what you are. People hear your voice the way it sounds on a recording, not the way you hear it inside your head. The recording voice *is* your real voice. Same goes for every single facet of your identity.
You can change the way you interact with people, talk to people, the way you live your life. What is inside your head does not matter. Changing your pronouns or trying to force others to accept a new self chosen identity of yours in any way does not change what and who you *are*. The map is not the territory, in the same way that the perception of you is not you. Stop trying to change your identity by controlling the way others see and regard you.
You do not have gender dysphoria and you do not have autism. You have narcissistic personality disorder, and since you know the definition of npd, your subconscious is shielding you from that truth by ways of performative self-loathing. See, I’m not grandiose, I can’t be narcissistic! Oh, but you are, and you will never be happy unless you change the way you treat others. Especially you timid, insecure, gentle souls. And I hope you will be happy some day.

And, in the end, it's just a lot easier and cheaper to make peace with the mirror.

 

[Terffals]

This is nothing compared to some of the stories in this thread, but I accidentally “came out” as a terf to one of my coworkers, my “work wife” who I had grown close to over the years of customer service related bullshit. I though she was really cool, but I was proven wrong.

To be fair, I should have seen it coming. Not only was she raised in a cult (high percentage of people raised in religious extremism end up being troon or troon-positive) but she and her partner are both spicy straights (they both ID as nonbinary).

The trouble came when I was talking about HPL with another coworker. She was walking by so I asked “Hey, are you a fan too?”

She immediately goes, “No, I wasn’t allowed to read it as a kid, and what with all the TERF stuff now, I’d just rather not bother.”

Should have kept my mouth shut but I automatically replied, “What TERF stuff? Do you mean the essay JKR wrote?”

She says yes but then admits she hasn’t read it and has no intention to read it.

I reply, “You know there’s actually nothing transphobic in her essay, right? I thought so too but when I read it myself, I couldn’t find a single hateful word. JKR is actually not a TERF.”

She replies, “I don’t believe that,”

I ask, “Why?”

She completely shut me down, says she doesn’t have to explain herself to me. Again, we had a close relationship before this. I backed down because, hey, I’m at work. But I was just frankly shocked to see the absolute denial of reality play out in front of me.

She did not have the information, she didn’t want to educate herself. She refused to even talk about anything which might threaten her worldview. It was really scary to witness in what I assumed was a generally smart person. How fragile it all felt.