Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[PBR Streetgang]

I’ve seen quite some users here talk about their own urge to troon out or become nonbinary or anything like that. Not talking to someone specific, but some of you need to hear this.

There is no hidden true „you“. There is no truer identity you possess than the one you show outwards. What you are is what you are. People hear your voice the way it sounds on a recording, not the way you hear it inside your head. The recording voice *is* your real voice. Same goes for every single facet of your identity.
You can change the way you interact with people, talk to people, the way you live your life. What is inside your head does not matter. Changing your pronouns or trying to force others to accept a new self chosen identity of yours in any way does not change what and who you *are*. The map is not the territory, in the same way that the perception of you is not you. Stop trying to change your identity by controlling the way others see and regard you.
You do not have gender dysphoria and you do not have autism. You have narcissistic personality disorder, and since you know the definition of npd, your subconscious is shielding you from that truth by ways of performative self-loathing. See, I’m not grandiose, I can’t be narcissistic! Oh, but you are, and you will never be happy unless you change the way you treat others. Especially you timid, insecure, gentle souls. And I hope you will be happy some day.

This reminds me of a woman who tried to copy my life. No pl but the tl;dr is that it was extremely disturbing and went on for months, she involved herself in my personal and professional life, copied appearance and work, moved onto my street, etc.

Anyway my point is that I wanted to throttle her and tell her that she could never ever actually be like me, no matter how hard she tried, because someone like me would never do any of this to a person. You cant say "I love how authentic and original you are; think I'll copy it in order to also be original" lol

So in the case of troons: Women, actual women, do all kinds of stuff. They're clever, they're stupid, they go to school, become nuns, murder their kids, all kinds of things, good and bad. But what they never, ever do, not a single one of them, is ever have the experience of being born with a dick.

 

[cock gobbler]

There is no hidden true „you“. There is no truer identity you possess than the one you show outwards. What you are is what you are. People hear your voice the way it sounds on a recording, not the way you hear it inside your head. The recording voice *is* your real voice. Same goes for every single facet of your identity.
You can change the way you interact with people, talk to people, the way you live your life. What is inside your head does not matter. Changing your pronouns or trying to force others to accept a new self chosen identity of yours in any way does not change what and who you *are*. The map is not the territory, in the same way that the perception of you is not you. Stop trying to change your identity by controlling the way others see and regard you.
You do not have gender dysphoria and you do not have autism. You have narcissistic personality disorder, and since you know the definition of npd, your subconscious is shielding you from that truth by ways of performative self-loathing.

I read an article recently that's relevant to what you said. It even mentions the narcissism involved in having an identity crisis.

Spoiler: Summary

Basically says that kids are told their identity is predetermined at birth, and they become depressed and nihilistic because they feel trapped in their own skin. Teachers are encouraging kids to be whatever the kids say they are, be it a boy, girl, cat, whatever; because of this idea that you can't change your identity (therefore, "the kids know best what they identify as, since it's all been laid out already"). Instead of telling them something like "yeah, it's fun to pretend you're a cat but you know you're a boy, right?" Kids are ignorant, and the people who should be guiding them onto a path based in reality are letting the kids guide themselves onto a path paved by their own imaginations and fantasies.

What we should be telling kids (and anyone struggling with their identity, really) is that an identity is something you work on your whole life to build and improve. And that an identity isn't entirely made up of your sexual orientation/race/anything else that has absolutely nothing to do with having a fleshed-out personality.

Anyway, I used to live with a friend who decided to transition. I moved out and ended that friendship more because of their alcoholism than anything, though. It's hard to live with someone who's jobless, never cleans, plays video games day and night, is drunk day and night, and is blunted by antidepressants. Needless to say, their transitioning was the absolute least of my concerns.

 

[Fapcop]

This is nothing compared to some of the stories in this thread, but I accidentally “came out” as a terf to one of my coworkers, my “work wife” who I had grown close to over the years of customer service related bullshit. I though she was really cool, but I was proven wrong.

To be fair, I should have seen it coming. Not only was she raised in a cult (high percentage of people raised in religious extremism end up being troon or troon-positive) but she and her partner are both spicy straights (they both ID as nonbinary).

The trouble came when I was talking about HPL with another coworker. She was walking by so I asked “Hey, are you a fan too?”

She immediately goes, “No, I wasn’t allowed to read it as a kid, and what with all the TERF stuff now, I’d just rather not bother.”

Should have kept my mouth shut but I automatically replied, “What TERF stuff? Do you mean the essay JKR wrote?”

She says yes but then admits she hasn’t read it and has no intention to read it.

I reply, “You know there’s actually nothing transphobic in her essay, right? I thought so too but when I read it myself, I couldn’t find a single hateful word. JKR is actually not a TERF.”

She replies, “I don’t believe that,”

I ask, “Why?”

She completely shut me down, says she doesn’t have to explain herself to me. Again, we had a close relationship before this. I backed down because, hey, I’m at work. But I was just frankly shocked to see the absolute denial of reality play out in front of me.

She did not have the information, she didn’t want to educate herself. She refused to even talk about anything which might threaten her worldview. It was really scary to witness in what I assumed was a generally smart person. How fragile it all felt.

Some people just don’t have the mental/emotional bandwidth to think over issues and come to a conclusion/take a stand.

So they do the literal NPC thing and just copy whatever stand they know from the mass media that “reasonable” normal people are supposed to have. Like “love is love”, “diversity makes us strong”, “men in women’s clothes should be celebrated”, “racism and prejudice is bad”. And on and on.

(Not saying that racism is good, but it’s basic human nature to surround yourself with people who like you and think like you. If you’ve ever lived in a ghetto, you’ll also learn that there’s a reason why some stereotypes exist.)

 

[Eden Seeker]

You guys do whatever but I will remain skeptical regarding all troons including the "one-of-the-good-ones" guys. Too often they end up basking in the attention of being one-of-the-good-ones and dominate spaces/threads. They're also all perverted but in a totally fun respectful private way! Sure, buddy.

Hey, fair enough, I've already felt like I was hogging the space a bit. I do kind of have a lot I want to talk about on the topic, but this is probably not the thread.

Yeah, I don’t really have anything to say except you seem like a good dude, and once we’ve manage to set up camps for all you trannies, I’m sure we can pull some strings and get you a nice trustee position as block leader, or member of the ruling Troon Elder Council or something.

Also, your gf sounds like she’s fallen into some shitty company.

And like she’s well on her way to becoming a true believer or trooning out herself. I think these things are often fueled by a desire to belong, so maybe she needs to find some better friends and come to terms with who she is, before she comes out as a “Femboy” or “feminine FTM transmasc” or something similar batshit insane?

I mean, hey, fun neogenders don't hurt anyone. I am more worried about this starting conflicts and being used as a reason for pointless strife. If she is not on terms with who she is, I am unfortunately not aware of that; sometimes it feels like she's just excited to play language games.
I'm sorry to sound like an old fart, but back in my days, nonbinary people at least got an appropriate haircut and attire!

 

[kittyfucker]

>be me, Eden Seeker
>tranny obviously
>go on le kiwifarms to le epically troll the TERFs and nazis
>see thread of people mourning the loss, sometimes actual physical passing/death of loved ones, siblings and friends who were trans
>idea.mov
>lets post about myself ad nauseam and how i'm actually valid and not like the other trannies!
>btw you're going to hell!
starting to think that you psychopathic idiots get sexual pleasure from seeing others hurt. do you not understand what you're doing is inappropriate and unwanted or is that the point? don't answer because we all already know, you're not smart enough to not poison yourself anyways so

 

[PBR Streetgang]

>be me, Eden Seeker
>tranny obviously
>go on le kiwifarms to le epically troll the TERFs and nazis
>see thread of people mourning the loss, sometimes actual physical passing/death of loved ones, siblings and friends who were trans
>idea.mov
>lets post about myself ad nauseam and how i'm actually valid and not like the other trannies!
>btw you're going to hell!
starting to think that you psychopathic idiots get sexual pleasure from seeing others hurt. do you not understand what you're doing is inappropriate and unwanted or is that the point? don't answer because we all already know, you're not smart enough to not poison yourself anyways so

Yeah the direct reply to me of "that's fine maybe I'm taking up space here sorry you don't want to hear from me btw here I am again talking directly to you me me me " = ignore button

Then immediately followed by a double-post in which dude casually defends fake pronouns. In the thread about losing relationships with loved ones to this phenomenon.

They're like this EVERY TIME. There is no such thing as a troon who "has dysphoria and just wants to live their lives" and has sensible ideas about any of it because transexuals are by definition insane.

 

[76 Trombones]

This isn't exactly losing someone to transgenderism, but I'll add my thoughts to the pile. I did have a scrap of pity on a greasy, long-haired MTF I met because he seemed kinda cool. He wrote his phone number down on paper, because he had some instinct of self-preservation in the digital age. I was thinking, "You know, maybe getting to know one IRL could be beneficial."

Nope! I found myself not wanting to use the restroom in that school building, despite rarely using the bathroom there as is. And when I asked him why he transitioned, he literally said, "Growing up, I was really jealous of girls getting to wear dresses. Why can't I wear dresses and act like them and have periods?" He lost any sympathy I had for him. I stopped responding to him after that; it's creepy to see males getting off on the idea of being "uwu valid girls".

Troons. Not even once.

 

[monstrous bubo]

And when I asked him why he transitioned, he literally said, "Growing up, I was really jealous of girls getting to wear dresses. Why can't I wear dresses and act like them and have periods?"

hey dude, you want to sit in a hut and bleed it’s cool by me

 

[NoReturn]

I’ve seen quite some users here talk about their own urge to troon out or become nonbinary or anything like that. Not talking to someone specific, but some of you need to hear this.

There is no hidden true „you“. There is no truer identity you possess than the one you show outwards. What you are is what you are. People hear your voice the way it sounds on a recording, not the way you hear it inside your head. The recording voice *is* your real voice. Same goes for every single facet of your identity.
You can change the way you interact with people, talk to people, the way you live your life. What is inside your head does not matter. Changing your pronouns or trying to force others to accept a new self chosen identity of yours in any way does not change what and who you *are*. The map is not the territory, in the same way that the perception of you is not you. Stop trying to change your identity by controlling the way others see and regard you.
You do not have gender dysphoria and you do not have autism. You have narcissistic personality disorder, and since you know the definition of npd, your subconscious is shielding you from that truth by ways of performative self-loathing. See, I’m not grandiose, I can’t be narcissistic! Oh, but you are, and you will never be happy unless you change the way you treat others. Especially you timid, insecure, gentle souls. And I hope you will be happy some day.

Here's a question. How can we help people who struggle with that last part?
In b4 "Tell them to suck it up" because I think this may be a factor in why so many autists in particular have trouble with this concept. The self-loathing may not be truly performative if they've internalized those ideas.
They already struggle to relate to others, and then they start hating themselves (either naturally or because they "don't want to be narcissistic") and then in swoops the trans movement telling them they don't have to deal with such pesky emotions and "Oh yes, being narcissistic is the worst thing you can be, after all! Take these pills, cut off your dick, these will make you a cool, queer, oppressed trans individual. You will be cleansed of your sins!"
Anything to not be a "Bad Person".

 

[NerdShamer]

Here's a question. How can we help people who struggle with that last part?
In b4 "Tell them to suck it up" because I think this may be a factor in why so many autists in particular have trouble with this concept. The self-loathing may not be truly performative if they've internalized those ideas.
They already struggle to relate to others, and then they start hating themselves (either naturally or because they "don't want to be narcissistic") and then in swoops the trans movement telling them they don't have to deal with such pesky emotions and "Oh yes, being narcissistic is the worst thing you can be, after all! Take these pills, cut off your dick, these will make you a cool, queer, oppressed trans individual. You will be cleansed of your sins!"
Anything to not be a "Bad Person".

Basically, there really isn't much of an easy answer towards this because it requires an lot of personal effort for them to actively learn anything that doesn't involves their obsessions or that it sets off their aversion to change because they'll probably believe that you're changing their personality by forcing them to mask

 

[You're MDNWU]

Here's a question. How can we help people who struggle with that last part?
In b4 "Tell them to suck it up" because I think this may be a factor in why so many autists in particular have trouble with this concept. The self-loathing may not be truly performative if they've internalized those ideas.
They already struggle to relate to others, and then they start hating themselves (either naturally or because they "don't want to be narcissistic") and then in swoops the trans movement telling them they don't have to deal with such pesky emotions and "Oh yes, being narcissistic is the worst thing you can be, after all! Take these pills, cut off your dick, these will make you a cool, queer, oppressed trans individual. You will be cleansed of your sins!"
Anything to not be a "Bad Person".

You can't. Not unless they want real help or you lock them up for a few months away from enablers. I remember seeing articles/posts when the initial lockdowns in the States happened that parents were reporting that their troon kids were no longer troon and went back to being relatively normal kids (locked up/removed from enabler friends at school). The only thing that probably wouldn't apply to is the older, mainly male, crowd. Although, keeping them away from any form of porn could benefit them

But back to the kids, it also depends on the parents. Are they actually parents who want the best for their kid, even if they're retarded themselves and go with what's currently media approved and not wanting to be a "bad parent" from telling their kid no or are they emulating their favorite celeb and using their kid as a stepping stone for social media dopamine hits? First ones are salvageable to some degree whereas the second ones are forever fucked (Jazz for instance).

In some instances, it's kids/perpetual kids coming to the realization that they're not really all that unique or special and doing this makes them stand out. You can compare this to the 90s/00s where every girl was totally like, bi, and preteens and young teens wanted nose/lip/eyebrow piercings. Hell, toss in the emo/goth/punk phase as well. This troon shit and all the special gender bullshit is just the new bi fad ramped up to 100 because now the medical and pharma industries can make bank on it.

 

[Procrastinhater]

I mean, hey, fun neogenders don't hurt anyone. I am more worried about this starting conflicts and being used as a reason for pointless strife. If she is not on terms with who she is, I am unfortunately not aware of that; sometimes it feels like she's just excited to play language games.
I'm sorry to sound like an old fart, but back in my days, nonbinary people at least got an appropriate haircut and attire!

See now I think you're trolling, you're on a thread about losing people to transgenderism and you're just casually making statements like "fun neogenders don't hurt anyone"
For real?
Is it the autism?
I know autists don't process social interactions very well but there's nothing harmless about any of this shit.
And what you said before about how "you can't flip off the switch" just isn't true, or there would be no detransitioners.
You want to believe that once someone's thought process gets messed up and they start to get confused and suffer from delusions about gender thats it, there's no going back, because it's the easy out that lets you continue to be a troon without examining the cause of the delusion, but realistically its not true, you're a person currently suffering a delusion trying to tell people that aren't that the squirrels really are spying on you and the arguments are convincing to you but to anyone not suffering from the same delusion we can see the objective evidence that shows thats not the case.
Transexualism is a warping of the thought process, but it can be recovered from, the existence of detransitioners is the proof, but you're comfortable in the delusion, so you lie to yourself that that isn't the case, but to anyone not suffering the transgender sickness, it's clear to see that (in this analogy) the squirrels are just squirrels, but to see that you have to want to get better, and I'm not sure if you do if you're just here to shit post.
If you're just here to shitpost hey, you came to the right place, but the transwidows thread is not the thread for it, that's why you're getting the hostile reaction you are.

 

[NerdShamer]

Is it the autism?
I know autists don't process social interactions very well but there's nothing harmless about any of this shit.

I'm half-convinced that it's an ruse.

 

[Surfherder]

I have to admit, I was surprised to see the “glad to see you here” posts after seeing the tranny post about his difficult upbringing. I clicked ignore immediately.

It is somewhat wholesome (from the standpoint of “humans caring for one another”) and also exasperating that everyone, even on Kiwi Farms, implicitly has empathy for trannies. This guy talked about his dad, adhd meds, autism, and antipsychotics in a thread about trans widows. He needs actual therapy, or maybe a difficult talking to from a group of mentally stable men, but this isn’t the spot.

Unfortunately the only appropriate reaction to trannies is the 2000s “cool story bro” if not 100% on topic. Even then, some fetish stuff will be added to conversations where it does not belong.

 

[Procrastinhater]

I'm half-convinced that it's an ruse.

Yeah I am myself bro but you have to remember they're mentally ill, getting angry at a troon for being an attention seeking faggot is like getting angry at a schizo in a psyche ward that keeps writing sigils on the walls in their own shit to keep the demons out, to the schizo everything they do makes sense, but I'll still attempt to talk to him like he's rational in case he has a moment of clarity somewhere down the line while he's looking for a carrot to stick up his ass or whatever they fucking do and possibly thinks "yeah I do need help" and tries to fix himself. It's all we can do at the minute, if it ever becomes legal to put them away where they can't spread the social contagion and force them to get treatment I'll support that too.
I'd just prefer he'd do his shitposting on a different thread.

 

[umami's milk]

People hear your voice the way it sounds on a recording, not the way you hear it inside your head. The recording voice *is* your real voice.

IT'S NOT FAIR

 

[Procrastinhater]

IT'S NOT FAIR

I hate my voice in recordings too. I either sound like an extra from the Dukes of Hazzard or if I'm trying to be polite like Martin Sheen doing Robert E Lee. If I try to do an accent I come out sounding like fucking Ned Stark from Game of Thrones no matter what accent I'm doing.

 

[janedoe]

i got a notif about this thread and figured i would come back to give some of you a bit of follow up. i posted some time ago about an effeminate gay man and a tomboy lesbian i know who have considered trooning out. i am happy to share neither went through with it.

the gay male, actually, is pretty openly critical of troons now and funnily enough he found the srs stinkditch rabbit hole himself. and gay male hypersexuality won in the end.
as for the lesbian, i do not know what changed for her. only that she and her wife are very wholesome and happy and she happily refers to herself as the momma and their relationship as wives (not calling herself the husband like she used to). methinks her wife made it clear she isnt into dudes nor chicks pretending to dudes.

whatever the case, i am happy for them and hope they dont get influenced by degenerates anymore. it could always flip on a dime, these days, but i at least feel better knowing that right now they are living comfortable lives without missing genitals or botched bodies. so good for them.

 

[Mrs. Addams]

I've been trying to detach from my trans friend (which has been wise - I didn't realize how much trying to save him was stressing me). But we're staying in light contact. He's finally seeing a psychiatrist who thinks he might have BPD from childhood trauma - which sucks, but would make a lot of sense based on all the dumb shit he's done over the years.
I wonder what the incidence of BPD trans people is. It's a pretty bad disorder and comes along with an unstable self identity, over-reactions, and narcissism.

 

[Baraadmirer]

I've been trying to detach from my trans friend (which has been wise - I didn't realize how much trying to save him was stressing me). But we're staying in light contact. He's finally seeing a psychiatrist who thinks he might have BPD from childhood trauma - which sucks, but would make a lot of sense based on all the dumb shit he's done over the years.
I wonder what the incidence of BPD trans people is. It's a pretty bad disorder and comes along with an unstable self identity, over-reactions, and narcissism.

My trans friend was diagnosed with BPD. I could've sworn there was a study somewhere that observed comorbidity between Cluster B disorders and gender dysphoria.