🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[MadStan]

This fucking ballet Ralph has with the diary might amuse his friends and retarded followers; but to think you can contrive this horseshit this late in the game and present that at court that it was all your wives fault is just delusion.

It’s almost as if he is planning to represent himself at TRIAL which of course no fool would ever do; they’d sell their truck before ever being insane enough to go to a TRIAL without an actual lawyer where the stakes are actually a little higher with a potential civil conviction and the possible curtails that come with such.

Ralph wouldn’t be that stupid surely

 

[Sumptinsfuckey]

This fucking ballet Ralph has with the diary might amuse his friends and retarded followers; but to think you can contrive this horseshit this late in the game and present that at court that it was all your wives fault is just delusion.

It’s almost as if he is planning to represent himself at TRIAL which of course no fool would ever do; they’d sell their truck before ever being insane enough to go to a TRIAL without an actual lawyer where the stakes are actually a little higher with a potential civil conviction and the possible curtails that come with such.

Ralph wouldn’t be that stupid surely

Nigga you trying to say THE Ralphamale aint got the balls to defend hisself at trial? Are you retarded, the Ralphamale don't scurr! Matterfact he'll prolly do better without a lolyer since no disloyal shyster has the balls, the testicular fortitude, or the sheer masculine charisma of the Memphis Mac Daddy. Shit, he might just start representing right now! Do you even know who he is!?

 

[Chuddybuddy]

T

Just wanted people to know babies instinctively know who their parents are if they spent at least some time together. Parental connection is almost uncanny. I believe Xander recognizes gunt, but the story seems too wholesome to be believable.

This is true for newborns and infants particularly with the mother. This is not true for toddlers who have seen their father less than 6 hours of their life.

 

[AltisticRight]

So I guess the rationale is to get Meigh to cop to all the diary shit and claim Ralph had no knowledge or involvement in order to save him from the contempt charge? If that was truely the case then why not say that from the beginning?

I think even the diary wrapping was presented at some point and it clearly had Ethan Ralph's handwriting, for addresses to Daiymo, then Daiymo's to Matthew.

There was also a line saying "Diary of a whorey kid, enjoy " written by our resident PR graduate Amanda Ralph.

I'm not sure if the use of "kid" was supposed to make Ethan Ralph or Faith Vickers look bad, or who looked worse, or it could just be Amanda Ralph projecting her lolicon paedophilia.

 

[MadStan]

Is it really so hard; with how Ralph thinks about woman that his ability to show love is limited to his son? And that Rozy at the end of day is a female and an unfit heir for him.

Rozy will grow up poor; with no opportunities and no doubt despise her parents. With his son; who will be raised by a better family, Ralph sees down the line an ally.

And more than that he sees a benefit to his son growing up possibly with the hope of a better future and money. Kids to Ralph are nothing but a franchise and a girl to him is a non-starter.

If he could swap Meigh and the girl for his son and another relationship he would. He is that kind a creep; and his actions will slowly betray this.

If Rozy ups and leaves he’d throw a party and not challenge his loss as a parent because Meigh and Rozy don’t represent his loins nor a viable payday down the road.

Meigh will realize this soon enough but being the loss of a human being she is, will tow the line.

 

[Triple Flutz]

I'm not sure if the use of "kid" was supposed to make Ethan Ralph or Faith Vickers look bad, or who looked worse, or it could just be Amanda Ralph projecting her lolicon paedophilia.

I'm unfortunately aware of an early 2000s children's series called Diary of a Wimpy Kid, this is probably just the grade-A humor coming out of the resident 160 IQ, Shakespeare-reading horse but it's definitely a terrible look from an avowed loli enjoyer.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I don't think it's DVRO violation. He said to the court that he returned all Faith's property to her when he did not. So it's a violation against court aka contempt.

I'm guessing here, but it seems to me that unless Ralph convinces everyone that Pantsu found the diary, never told him, then sent it to The Dayimo all on her own, he's in deep shit. Sadly for The Gunt they have that blurb from Discord where he says to The Dayimo somethng along the lines of "IF A FAN OF MAHN WANTED TA SEND YEW SUMTHIN' WHERE WOULD THEY SEND IT TO? SOUNDS LIKE SOME PRETTY SPAHCY STUFF!".

Oh, I agree, the baby that causes him no daily inconvenience would be the golden child, but Xander's appearance and gender are just icing on the cake to a shitty wet brain guy like Ralph. Even more so Xander isn't terrified of Ralph because he hasn't been around the hollering hog at all. I'm sure Xander was much nicer to Ralph than Rozy is because to Xander Ralph is just some fat guy who his mom told him he had a play date with. Since it's only two hours, with hired help, I'm sure Ralph has infinite patience and attention for Xander and the kid responds accordingly. Rozy, OTOH, knows Ralph as the angry loud smelly man who makes mommy cry and lives in terror of him.

Rozy would be his little princess if she had only spent six hours a year with her bio-dad. As it stands though May failed in the mother department and produced an inferior child that is a giant pain in the ass and who hates Ralph. The boy child is superior since he doesn't keep Ralph up at night, doesn't distract his shitty live-in servant from her duties and most of all he doesn't scream in terror when left alone with him.

I'd be willing to bet money that Ralph has never yelled "SHUT UP, FUCKER!" at Xander.

This fucking ballet Ralph has with the diary might amuse his friends and retarded followers; but to think you can contrive this horseshit this late in the game and present that at court that it was all your wives fault is just delusion.

It’s almost as if he is planning to represent himself at TRIAL which of course no fool would ever do; they’d sell their truck before ever being insane enough to go to a TRIAL without an actual lawyer where the stakes are actually a little higher with a potential civil conviction and the possible curtails that come with such.

Ralph wouldn’t be that stupid surely

Things like saying Faith has loose parts and contacting FaiFai through apps he's not supposed to do are explainable with "AH WAS ANGRY YER HONOR." and "AH MESSED UP AND USED THE WRONG APP YER HONOR."

Faith had been wanting and asking the court to have Ralph return the diary (and other things) for months and Ralph has repeatedly said "AH DON'T HAVE THAT YER HONOR." and I'm guessing the courts do like it when you lie to them even if you're lying to another court way across the country. And if he's convicted of that offense which happened during his one-year suspended sentence he got on his conviction of Revenge Porn vs. that very same person who's diary he repeatedly lied about having I don't know what sort of punishment he's looking at. And even if Pantsu can convince everyone that she found it long ago, didn't tell Ralph about it, then ended up mailing it at around the same time Ralph was asking The Dayimo where one of his fans would send something to him it then puts her in a bad position because she knew about Ralph telling the court he didn't have the diary and that FaiFai wanted it back. The only thing I can think of is that one or both The Gunt and Pantsu are thinking "Ralph would be in deep deep shit over this but they'll go much lighter on Pantsu."

 

[Um...]

Is it really so hard; with how Ralph thinks about woman that his ability to show love is limited to his son? And that Rozy at the end of day is a female and an unfit heir for him.

Rozy will grow up poor; with no opportunities and no doubt despise her parents. With his son; who will be raised by a better family, Ralph sees down the line an ally.

And more than that he sees a benefit to his son growing up possibly with the hope of a better future and money. Kids to Ralph are nothing but a franchise and a girl to him is a non-starter.

If he could swap Meigh and the girl for his son and another relationship he would. He is that kind a creep; and his actions will slowly betray this.

If Rozy ups and leaves he’d throw a party and not challenge his loss as a parent because Meigh and Rozy don’t represent his loins nor a viable payday down the road.

Meigh will realize this soon enough but being the loss of a human being she is, will tow the line.

Do you think if meigh left him and went back to NY with that wretched baby that Ralph would bother to fight for visitation rights? I think not. I also think he would be relieved to be rid of the crying fussing drooling kid, and especially glad not to have to support either one of them financially. Keeping all his cozy.tv $$ for himself to spend on splurge trips, designer XXL swag, beer, ice cream, thc edibles etc. would be just fine with him and good riddance to that worthless girl child.

 

[Pelican Bones]

So retarded, it would be better to just stop with the continuations, demanded the trail be carried out ASAP, do his "No Contest ya hona" and get the $500 fine or whatever

I don't think it's the trial itself that has Ralph so fucked up. I think it's that Ralph has been slighted. Publicly humiliated. The Ralphamale simply cannot let that slide. He tried to paper abort his son and abandon him. He was bullied into child support and visitation. He's being bullied into doing something he doesn't want to do, and Vickers is making the thing he doesn't want to do just that much harder.

I think he actually believes he is stuck between doing something he doesn't want to do in order to save face, or just letting it go and having everyone make fun of him for being humiliated and taking it like a bish.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Do you think if meigh left him and went back to NY with that wretched baby that Ralph would bother to fight for visitation rights? I think not. I also think he would be relieved to be rid of the crying fussing drooling kid, and especially glad not to have to support either one of them financially. Keeping all his cozy.tv $$ for himself to spend on splurge trips, designer XXL swag, beer, ice cream, thc edibles etc. would be just fine with him and good riddance to that worthless girl child.

Ralph was going to wash his hands of Xander, having told the court "SUMDAY MAH SUN WEEL FAHND ME!" and that he was concentrating on his unborn daughter.

Until Mr. Metokur's Deadbeat Dad line of merch made The Gunt pony up and pay for a paternity test, which a Manhattan Lawyer told him not to do, and so on.

 

[GayestFurryTrash]

Ralph was going to wash his hands of Xander, having told the court "SUMDAY MAH SUN WEEL FAHND ME!" and that he was concentrating on his unborn daughter.

Until Mr. Metokur's Deadbeat Dad line of merch made The Gunt pony up and pay for a paternity test, which a Manhattan Lawyer told him not to do, and so on.

Imagine being a lawyer and having to try and tard wrangle a client that disobeys your advice because a cancer patient makes a t-shirt; no wonder the gunt has to represent himself.

 

[KebabShopSauce]

Ralph was going to wash his hands of Xander, having told the court "SUMDAY MAH SUN WEEL FAHND ME!" and that he was concentrating on his unborn daughter.

Until Mr. Metokur's Deadbeat Dad line of merch made The Gunt pony up and pay for a paternity test, which a Manhattan Lawyer told him not to do, and so on.

Where is this meme that daddy Jim had anything to do with it coming from? He got the test because Faith manipulated him into it by saying that he might not be the father in court docs.

 

[.iota.]

Where is this meme that daddy Jim had anything to do with it coming from?

(archive of the sellfy page)

 

[NicoFountaine]

I really want to think that May did this all on her own and not by order from Ralph but we know this is not the case. It would be funnier that way. Ralph clearly had a positive experience with Faith this weekend and it's driving May absolutely insane.

T / A

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Spoiler: Manduh's apology vid.

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T / A
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If they had enough unharmed brain cells left they could have brushed it off and act modest about it. This way they basically admit their apology was purely self serving for the sake of forgiveness and not a genuine act of remorse. But oh well, not in this timeline.

Also I like how Ralph is slowly shifting fault to May. It must feel really good to be able to point that it is the two mothers who are to blame for things in his kids lives. INb4 Ralph starts tweeting like battered husband "I sure know how to pick 'em" and "I'm literally Johnny Depp"

As Null would say; suffer horse, suffer!

>not gonna insult Faith or anything, at this time.

at this time.

lmfao

His entire problem is that he wishes he could just scream in his retarded stream that Faith is a loose pussy bitch. That's his fucking endgame. He just can't control himself. Not being able to insult her is literally draining the life out of his gunt.

Also I like how Ralph is slowly shifting fault to May.

It's literally a move so he could claim in court he didn't send the diary. (but we know he did) I don't remember what the missing page said but iirc it say shit about Ralph.

This is true for newborns and infants particularly with the mother. This is not true for toddlers who have seen their father less than 6 hours of their life.

Even less if you consider babies (not toddlers) might be able to pick a sense of familiarity over their parents smell. Ralph smells like fucking alcohol all the time which is probably why Rozy cries the moment he picks her up.

 

[RisingPhoenix]

What gets me is Ralph gets 2 days with his kid where Faith is trying to be civil for the sake of the kid and both Pantsu and Ralph think thats enough to be like "Ayo sorry about that whole revenge porn thing and screwing with you figeratively and literally, but we're sorry so can be bury the hatchet? uwu" then clutching the pearls when Faith gives them a TL;DR that basically amounts to "ok cool but also no fuck off"


Like you really thought that would work? It's cheeky, lazy and kind of an asshole move all in one! Also Ralph couldn't stay civil for Xanders sake beyond visitation day


Maybe shouldn't of spent the run up to court date trying to disparage the family or the boyfriend. But no it's Faiths fault for having boundaries. The rest of it is retarded but good on her for not letting them just steamroll back into the kids life now they suddenly care (because Ralph lubs his boyo)

 

[MeltyTW]

What gets me is Ralph gets 2 days with his kid where Faith is trying to be civil for the sake of the kid and both Pantsu and Ralph think thats enough to be like "Ayo sorry about that whole revenge porn thing and screwing with you figeratively and literally, but we're sorry so can be bury the hatchet? uwu" then clutching the pearls when Faith gives them a TL;DR that basically amounts to "ok cool but also no fuck off"


Like you really thought that would work? It's cheeky, lazy and kind of an asshole move all in one! Also Ralph couldn't stay civil for Xanders sake beyond visitation day


Maybe shouldn't of spent the run up to court date trying to disparage the family or the boyfriend. But no it's Faiths fault for having boundaries. The rest of it is retarded but good on her for not letting them just steamroll back into the kids life now they suddenly care (because Ralph lubs his boyo)

I think it might be because to them of they were still even a bit angry the child would be used as a weapon, even if it brought more negative consequences to them than to the other person. They can't comprehend that they're fringe white trash

 

[Big moth tiddies]

Manduh once again inserting herself into something where she really needn't bother.

You mean Ralph inserting her into something.
I guarantee you Ralph is pushing his horse in front of the camera to shift all the blame onto her.
"Bish, you best get on there and tell them it was all your fault! You ain't got no restrainin' order on you. When you're done wid dat, get me some ice cream!"

They truly deserve each other.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

UBL: Hey, so yes I orchestrated the hijacking of two planes and their intentional collision into the World Trade Center buildings. That was not right and I take full responsibility for my actions and I just want there to be peace between us.

The US: lol no

UBL: Wooooooooowww so you really just want to keep escalating things.

 

[Spudnik]

What gets me is Ralph gets 2 days with his kid where Faith is trying to be civil for the sake of the kid and both Pantsu and Ralph think thats enough to be like "Ayo sorry about that whole revenge porn thing and screwing with you figeratively and literally, but we're sorry so can be bury the hatchet? uwu" then clutching the pearls when Faith gives them a TL;DR that basically amounts to "ok cool but also no fuck off"

Ralph is a classic case of "Give him an inch and he'll take a mile", although it's probably more accurate to say Ralphs a "Give her an inch and he'll take a mile" guy

 

[Braphamut]

I'm unfortunately aware of an early 2000s children's series called Diary of a Wimpy Kid, this is probably just the grade-A humor coming out of the resident 160 IQ, Shakespeare-reading horse but it's definitely a terrible look from an avowed loli enjoyer.

Ralph referred to Faith as 'this kid' not terribly long after his pre-show yesterday, kind of reminded me of that note. Really unfortunate choice of words given the parties involved. and yeah, what a fucked up reference for him to make.

UBL: Hey, so yes I orchestrated the hijacking of two planes and their intentional collision into the World Trade Center buildings. That was not right and I take full responsibility for my actions and I just want there to be peace between us.

The US: lol no

UBL: Wooooooooowww so you really just want to keep escalating things.

UBL: my rape goat is now accepting responsibility for the attacks on the World Trade Center. he said he was really sorry and has grown from reflecting on his experiences. Here is the video of his confession exonerating me.