Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[The Taco Santo!]

I have it on good authority that Shane's dick don't work. His gunt crushed his penis.

That can't be right, his gross fat joke of a wife calls him 'Daddy Cum Cannon'. You don't get that nickname if you start out with a microdick and then have that micro swallowed up by your fat-pad. Looking at his wife, though, the possibility has occurred to me that his genitalia has retreated into his abdomen out of fear, like a small animal hiding in its burrow from a looming predator. Shit, looking at her pic makes my dick want to hide, too.

What I'm saying, @KF Cruiser, is that your wife is a disgusting fat fucking pig who looks like she reeks of cottage cheese and pig trotters and sadness. You're a very well-matched pair. I actually think that it's kind of touching that two specimens of such outstanding ugliness as you and your wife have settled for each other. Neither one of you can do any better, that's for sure. You're a loser in every aspect of your life, and your choice of mate is no exception. She's too ugly for a frat-house pig pull.

 

[Mr Moonface]

 

[Moths]

Im sorry but "Daddy cum cannon" lmfao how embarrasing; it was worth reading the op after feasting my eyes on that title.

Though its more like daddy lard cannon looking at those candid photos bro.

 

[AnOminous]

That can't be right, his gross fat joke of a wife calls him 'Daddy Cum Cannon'.

No she doesn't. Nobody calls him that. He's just a giant faggot.

 

[Asian tech support]

This nigga looks like the lovechild of Jarbo and Sargon in addition to being unemployed like Jarbo and yapping about shit he doesn't understand like Sargon.

 

[AnOminous]

This nigga looks like the lovechild of Jarbo and Sargon in addition to being unemployed like Jarbo and yapping about shit he doesn't understand like Sargon.

I'm not sure if anyone's noticed, but he's also FAT!

 

[Blood Bath & Beyond]

Boiled? That's disgusting. Maybe we deserve prison. Or worse. British citizenship.

I think you'd be surprised by them if you were to try them. I too believed that boiled peanuts sounded wet and retarded when I first heard about them, but it actually blew my mind a bit how good they were when I finally had some in my hands. Not sure exactly how they were or were not seasoned, but they were surprisingly tasty.

No she doesn't. Nobody calls him that. He's just a giant faggot.

Are you trying to say that Shane would lie? About his life? I don't know... Shane is a lot of things: A decorated military-grade ultrahacker, a former Microsoft executive, a programming polygot super baby-genius, a prolific yet gentle lover (well about as gentle as someone with the world's largest penis possibly could be)... but a liar?

 

[Hard Toothbrush]

I need @John Andrews Stan to do the needful and photoshop this guy to make him look slimmer, like he did in the Tomlinson thread.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

It's very telling that his sister not only got the looks in the family but also took their fathers name. Shane isn't anywhere in her family get togethers. Why is that Shane?

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the IT, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids in WoW, and I have over 300 confirmed Xbox support tickets. I am trained in cyber security and I'm the top hacker in the entire Microsoft. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can doxx you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my phone. Not only am I extensively trained in hacking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the NSA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable forum off the face of the internet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. Wait for the knock.

 

[Sumptinsfuckey]

Morning Shane! Since today is Saturday, instead of reminding what a lard filled bag of fst you are, I'm going to take the easy route and remind you just how tree stump stupid you are! I mean seriouslt bro, do you realise just how fucking retarded someone has to be to get fired from a call center job doing tech support? I know folks who are literally developmentally disabled who can still follow a tech support script tree, and yet you managed to get yourself fired? Though, you being denser than a bag of hammers at the bottom of the marianas trench does explain why your lies are even more transparent than a five year old with chocolate on his face trying to tell mommy that a gremlin ate all the sweets.


BTW Day 4 of wsiting for the knock you fat, retarded, faggot.

 

[Probably An Autist]

what tickles me is the retarded way he brought this spotlight onto himself; tweeting at fatrick, who himself brought upon several years of misery simply because he said norm macdonald wasn't funny.

its interesting what small actions have large repurcussions.

also, shane, you're FAT

 

[CatharticShitHead]

Who's got money that Shane will lurk the threads of KF and attempt to call out various lolcows to make himself look good in comparison?

I think it's likely but I'm not sure. So I'm belting out 10 Kiwis on him.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the IT, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids in WoW, and I have over 300 confirmed Xbox support tickets. I am trained in cyber security and I'm the top hacker in the entire Microsoft. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can doxx you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my phone. Not only am I extensively trained in hacking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the NSA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable forum off the face of the internet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. Wait for the knock.

you made him sound more of a bad ass than Patrick wishes he could be.

 

[lindsayfan]

what a cowardly faggot shane (aka @KF Cruiser ) turned out to be.

cmon fat boy, what're you scared of? it's just some words on the internet. You know, the same way all your supposed life accomplishments are, in reality, nothing more than words on the internet

 

[Lord Denning]

who himself brought upon several years of misery simply because he said norm macdonald wasn't funny.

Rick's misery wasn't caused by him saying that Norm Macdonald wasn't funny. It's caused by him having a pathological desire to get the last word in when atalker child's tweet at him, and him not understanding that the more he responds to the trolls, the more motivation he gives them to mess with him. Which is great for us, cause otherwise he wouldn't have a thread.

 

[JJLiautaud]

I have no idea why Fatrick is concerned about his fair share it's not like it's not just going to go straight to quasi.

 

[joebobmurphy]

This guy is a pallet cleanser I didn't know I needed. All the tranny shit was starting to get blase. This guy's old-school gorilla warfare shit is like Indian food after a week of nothing but pizza. You're a real treat, Shane. Keep it up.

 

[Need4Sneed]

what tickles me is the retarded way he brought this spotlight onto himself; tweeting at fatrick, who himself brought upon several years of misery simply because he said norm macdonald wasn't funny.

its interesting what small actions have large repurcussions.

also, shane, you're FAT

Shane, what are your thoughts on Norm Macdonald?

 

[Piggle Rick]

I am loving how everyone who interacts with this loser hates him immediately. It doesn’t matter who they are or where they come from, they read one comment of his and they want him fired into the sun.