- Joined
- Sep 23, 2016
Holy fuck he's aging a decade every 2-3 weeks.
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Teen girls response: but you have B cups because of the doritos! and come on creep you're bussin a generous C at least
He's getting to the point he's aging worse than the average sith. Maybe closer to that tos episode where everybody but chekov ages fast as fuck and end up senile in a few days. It must be the extra strong DNA he has from all those long noodly telomeresDisgruntled Pupper said:
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2021
He hasn't worked in 20 years...and let's be honest...before that he had worked maybe a few months or maybe, if we're being generous, a year total. This guy has had a complete free ride through life and yet it's never enough. Every six months or so he plays the "I want to get a job" card and there's always a string of nonsensical reasons why he "can't". He needed to make a resume. He needed an ID. He needed special shoes. He needed glasses. Nobody was hiring. He has Gerd etc etc etc. Absolutely nobody is buying this act, buddy.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
He put his lazy, aesthetically ill-designed boardgame tiles as his FB background.
Truly, the mark of a serious game designer.
Truly, the mark of a serious game designer.
ManfromtheMoon
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2021
this nibba aging in dog years
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2016
It's like his mass from all the cheese, undercooked meat, and clinkerniggers shit is compressing space-time around him so that it's not so much that he's dying young, but rather he's going through the lifespan he otherwise would have had in a matter of months. He's now at the greybeard stage and still no zoomer bae, sad!this nibba aging in dog years
He needs to stopping being a coward and show us his wonky puffy eyes so we can be horrified at how he's dying. It's the least he could do if he's not going chimp out one last time.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
In other words, yet again he shows he doesn't just look like barney he ages like him too
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
Tbf at least Barney has a ridiculous intelligence and creativity under the the crippling alcoholism.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Good point, at least barney can do things like make successful films and fly a helicopter.....lucas can't even drive a car without ending up in a fire pit and struggles to understand the simplest of concepts. Plus barney can do backflips, lucas can't even walk in a straight line without difficulty
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2022
Oh nononono looks like it wasn't just "allergies", things aren't looking so good Wernbros... you guys were right about the glasses LMAO
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- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Vegan "mozzarella" is repulsive. What kind of diseased mind would put it on peanut butter?
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
My God. He looks like he is in his early 60s. But he would tell everyone he is plenty good and a "cute older daddy". He would also say people are bigots and agephobes for suggesting otherwise. Now where's his pepper shaker?
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Somehow he manages to find a way to make himself look like more of a decrepit street hobo when he's living in an apartment than he ever did when he was an actual street hobo living in the woods - without all the drugs and alcohol said hobos usually take to end up looking like shit
That said, all this pooner talk in the troon shooter thread got me thinking about lucas's frequent use of the term poonaner. So I decided to see what the internet has to say about it. a little searching turned up this:
Shall we take a look at the more interesting highlights?
That certainly sounds alot like lucas doesn't it. Our elken lord certainly sounds like a poonaner doesn't he
Thats an interesting definition, especially given lucas's history of using it
Sounds like lucas's well known habit of making excuses as to why he can't get a job doesn't it. Poonaner jones is a nickname that would stick to lucas like flies on shit
No doubt lucas wouldn't be too happy to see that page
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Just found an updated Lucas photo. The fat bum has food stuck in his beard. Fucking Lolcow 
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- Joined
- Dec 23, 2022
Bro LMFAO, scroll up a bit and look at the last pic I uploaded. It's the same pic but I'm pretty sure he cropped it after realizing he had food in his beard after posting it to Facebook. I'm dying lolJust found an updated Lucas photo. The fat bum has food stuck in his beard. Fucking Lolcow
Editing to say I just checked and it appears I have it the other way around. He posted the pic I took a screenshot of and then deleted it after uploading the full one with the food which is somehow even more demented. Jesus Christ lol
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
He looks like an obese Bam Margera.
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2016
Thanks for the pic, Lucas, you're dying.
Eventhough I don't follow Jack that much I'm very excited by the "who will die because they're a fat fuck who couldn't stop eating their own horrific slop first" race. They both have cockroach luck, they both could seemingly go at any minute, they're both still eating things they shouldn't. Who will win and claim the lolcow title?
Eventhough I don't follow Jack that much I'm very excited by the "who will die because they're a fat fuck who couldn't stop eating their own horrific slop first" race. They both have cockroach luck, they both could seemingly go at any minute, they're both still eating things they shouldn't. Who will win and claim the lolcow title?
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
When he was an actual street hobo he had some level of diet and exercise - if only just a small amount, some level of dietary restriction and some need to move about.
Living in this hovel with enough money for large quantities of food, but not enough money for decent quality of food (say what you want about Clinkerdangler, it was much cleanier than the high-sodium culinary travesties Lucas shits out); yet no need to move around for anything else besides getting more food; its like the final fringes of the whirlpool, where the environmental factors work to accelerate the inevitable outcome faster and faster before it happens.
What fertile young 18 year old woman wouldn't want this fine specimen of health and vitality to father her offspring?
- Joined
- May 31, 2018
He's just trying to show the young honeys that he can not only provide delicious food for them, he's got a surplus waiting.
(I just grossed myself out.)
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2022
So is this where it ends do you think? Cops respond to a foul smell in a locked apartment and find Lucas on his couch, decomposing amidst a sea of take away food?
God bless America.
God bless America.