🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Sicko Hunter]

Do you think it bothers Ralph knowing his kids are going to grow up to hate and resent him and most likely change their lasts names or has he deluded himself into believing he'll still be alive despite him being on the verge of an OD almost daily?

 

[Angry Shoes]

View attachment 4990814
I guess Ethan is serious about this look. Nothing us haters can say to change that. [Insert Jurassic Park Reference Here}

I like how even the most glamorous version of himself looks like a dude who would be betting on horses at the track alone on a Tuesday night.

 

[Booby Jones]

View attachment 4990814
I guess Ethan is serious about this look. Nothing us haters can say to change that. [Insert Jurassic Park Reference Here}

Those lifts and those babyfeet
He has become lmao-incarnate
Edit: awww his little shoelace is hanging out too. What a fat gay baby

 

[make_it_so]

Do you think it bothers Ralph knowing his kids are going to grow up to hate and resent him and most likely change their lasts names or has he deluded himself into believing he'll still be alive despite him being on the verge of an OD almost daily?

In Ralph's pickled white-trash mind, he spread his seed and gave his name to two bastard children he gives no actual support to, "just like muh daddy," so that means he wins.

 

[.iota.]

In Ralph's pickled white-trash mind, he spread his seed and gave his name to two bastard children he gives no actual support to, "just like muh daddy," so that means he wins.

except he didn't. xander's last name is vickers, and one of his middle names is matthew.
the ragepig's only son literally has the name of his nemesis.

 

[make_it_so]

except he didn't. xander's last name is vickers, and one of his middle names is matthew.
the ragepig's only son literally has the name of his nemesis.

Hence probably why he's been trying to gunt Pantsu again for the last few weeks.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Even in that photo he looks like a manlet. Like a little kid playing dress-up with grandpa's clothes.

He's the adult version of those people who wear hats for attention, those sorta people who dress old timey to be different when really it just makes them look like oddballs.

Also, how does Ralph square this outfit with those trainers - get some boat shoes you fucking oaf - which appear to be untied, presumably because Ralph can't bend over that far and Pantsu must have a fucked lower back because Ralph's too cheap to buy another stroller, or carry his own child.

And those fucking trousers - ew, they look old and dusty as fuck. Odds on they're another priceless "family heirloom".

 

[AnOminous]

Blatantly untrue. Any children born to Ralph and May will be a natural born US citizen. It doesn't matter if it is in Mexico or not.

If Rozy had actually been born in Mexico, she'd have been entitled to birthright citizenship there (jus soli as well and would have been a dual national. The same would occur if she'd been born with at least one Mexican national as a parent abroad (jus sanguinis). This is more or less the scheme for birthright citizenship in the U.S. as well, and just as in the U.S., is defined under the Mexican Constitution.

She was born here in the U.S., though, to two parents neither of whom were Mexican nationals. She is and will remain a U.S. citizen.

The US is the only place retarded enough on Earth to say if you cross the boarder and give birth the baby gets citizenship.

Wrong. Mexico does too.

And so do these North American countries:

Unrestricted citizenship by birth (jus soli)
North America
Antigua and Barbuda: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Barbados: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Belize: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Canada: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats.

Costa Rica: Automatically granted, except for child born of a government employee (requires registration with the Costa Rican government before the age of twenty-five)

Cuba: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Dominica: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Grenada: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Guatemala: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Honduras: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Jamaica: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Mexico: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Nicaragua: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Panama: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Saint Kitts and Nevis: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Saint Lucia: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

Trinidad and Tobago: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

United States United States: Automatically granted, except for children of diplomats

The whole list:

https://www.globalcitizensolutions.com/countries-that-recognize-citizenship-by-birth/

 

[Angry Shoes]

He's the adult version of those people who wear hats for attention, those sorta people who dress old timey to be different when really it just makes them look like oddballs.

Also, how does Ralph square this outfit with those trainers - get some boat shoes you fucking oaf - which appear to be untied, presumably because Ralph can't bend over that far and Pantsu must have a fucked lower back because Ralph's too cheap to buy another stroller, or carry his own child.

And those fucking trousers - ew, they look old and dusty as fuck. Odds on they're another priceless "family heirloom".
View attachment 4991688

Yeah it’s a top-tier white trash move to try to dress your best but still wear fucking running shoes or basketball shoes lmao.

 

[.iota.]

Yeah it’s a top-tier white trash move to try to dress your best but still wear fucking running shoes or basketball shoes lmao.

lol. user name checks out.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Yeah it’s a top-tier white trash move to try to dress your best but still wear fucking running shoes or basketball shoes lmao.

Well you can’t put 6 inch lifts in a boat shoe or loafer to hide the fact you’re 5’1 and your wife is taller and more manly than you

 

[Elmo]

Yeah it’s a top-tier white trash move to try to dress your best but still wear fucking running shoes or basketball shoes lmao.

Ralph's momma said they is his magic shoes. Momma say they take him anywhere.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph's momma said they is his magic shoes. Momma say they take him anywhere.

My momma always loved walkin. Even when she said she wanted a ride somewhere I told her to walk because I loved her so much.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

My momma always loved walkin. Even when she said she wanted a ride somewhere I told her to walk because I loved her so much.

God I still cannot believe what's her name laughed out of the absurdity of the comment, not realizing it was true, and then Ralph proceeded to verify the comment on air. It was so fucking bizarre.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

View attachment 4990814
I guess Ethan is serious about this look. Nothing us haters can say to change that. [Insert Jurassic Park Reference Here}

Based on just this, how short and fat would you estimate the animal this hoof belongs to, to be?

 

[NewnameRealEmail]

View attachment 4990814
I guess Ethan is serious about this look. Nothing us haters can say to change that. [Insert Jurassic Park Reference Here}

The skin on my nutsack can grow a thicker beard than that pathetic patchy thing on Ralph’s face.

 

[AnOminous]

Based on just this, how short and fat would you estimate the animal this hoof belongs to, to be?

Four feet eleven. But weighing at least 800 pounds.

 

[412-L]

It’s just one of those things you keep to yourself if you actually enjoy. Someone who actually likes smoking a cigar wouldn’t feel the need to broadcast it every time they light up.

This is Ralph all over, he is completely unable to quietly enjoy something privately.

The man can’t even have sex with his wife without gloating to his father-in-law about it. He probably gets more from gloating to Harry than he does from fucking May.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

The man can’t even have sex with his wife without gloating to his father-in-law about it. He probably gets more from gloating to Harry than he does from fucking May.

To be fair, if I had to chose between gloating to Harry about finding loose change in my couch vs fucking meigh, I'd go on Twitter to tell him about that 30 cents I found as fast as I could.

 

[Look--an Alien!]

Based on just this, how short and fat would you estimate the animal this hoof belongs to, to be?

View attachment 4992696

The difference in a manlet and a short guy is pretty simple--a short guy accepts that he is of a certain height, moves on with life, and chooses to improve himself without constantly worrying about something he cannot change.

The manlet (piglet, if you will) spends every waking moment finding clothes or shoes that make him just a tiny bit taller, posing in pictures like a BPD trollop, or hollering at random people who dare question his distorted view of the world.

Lmao you have the cutest widdle lift shoes, Ralph. Just bite the bullet and get the 8" lifts, then everyone will totes take you seriously