Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,379
When I get them I usually cut them into ~1 lb chunks and then freeze. I know it's garbage, but I only paid $1.99/lb for it goddamnit...

Although at the moment, I think all the ground beef in my freezer is "decent" fresh pack ground beef that was on clearance (50% off). That "use or freeze by" date just means it has to be in the freezer...
I get them to make dips for football. Never used them for burgers but they might be ok if you seasoned the patties right. But Jack either doesn't season or dumps in everything he has in his spice closet.
 
Jagoff seems to have trouble unsubscribing from unwanted text messages and emails, as he doesn't know how to reply with "STOP" or click on the "Unsubscribe" link.

It's interesting that he didn't complain about receiving spam on Quora, considering he has an account there. The website is infamous for shitting up your inbox with emails after creating an account to view answers from so-called "experts" like Mushbrain.
hahaha fuck. This is the most karen thing hes said yet. And this is the guy that everything he owns is one of those as seen on tv impulse purchases they put near the cash register so four year olds with no impulse control go 'mom I want that!'
It looks like he ate about 10 of his hospital meals and then just vomited them up into a pan.

The vision problems are from his stroke. He has literal brain damage in his visual cortex, so his eyes, as weird and bugged-out as they are, aren't the problem. It's that his visual cortex has mostly been replaced with fat and cerebrospinal fluid. He literally no longer has the part of his brain that sees things.

I'm pretty sure every YouTube chef in existence is constantly bombarded with demands to do a Jack video.
Diabetes and high blood pressure also damage vision for what its worth. Theres a lot of shit he potentially has that could affect his vision that people dont necessarily associate with vision.
I have REALLY bad astigmatism so I spent a while google researching it.
Fatty tells Jamie Oliver on Twitter that he has “no time to argue” over which oil infusion he uses as he’s “out of the hospital” and back to “””work”””. NIGGA, WHAT WORK DO YOU DO?! :story:

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lol what a shithead. I love that hes being more of a cunt online than ever. He shows up in someones replies, kind of rudely responds, then in case he gets any pushback he dismisses them goes "I aint got time to argue, I got SHIT TO DO!!! >:(" I think being able to use his arm again in PT has him feeling his oats.

Im imagining this beachball looking motherfucker ambling toward the kitchen with a camera, wobbling, one arm flopping around since hes using his torso to walk, and he shoves past Tammy and Hope and she goes "No jack No!" "You cant stop me Tams, I gotta work! I cant just sit around Im a christian man I gotta provide! Now help cook this for me". What a mans man, Im swooning.
 
Diabetes and high blood pressure also damage vision for what its worth. Theres a lot of shit he potentially has that could affect his vision that people dont necessarily associate with vision.
Anything health related for Jack is usually accurately answered by saying "Its all of them, at the same time". His body operates off Mr Burns immune system logic.
 
FIREHOUSE Smokin' Triple Stack Sub
(04/12/2023)

Original:

To celebrate his narrow escape from death, Jack has ordered something called the Smokin' Triple Stack Sub which features three kinds of processed meat plus sauces and piles of cheese. Jack's volume moderation is getting even worse and now everyone in the joint has to listen to his faggy slurring.

1:34 another Jack sandwich face smash, not super visible on camera unfortunately.

"The meat was amazing. There was lots of meat."

B- because meat gud but fake smoke flavor. This motherfucker really just does not care that he's still alive, does he?
 
FIREHOUSE Smokin' Triple Stack Sub
(04/12/2023)

Original:
I can't believe we ever doubted the power of the wendigo. This man is absolutely going to be filming as a head in a jar.

"Gluten is important to some people..." dripping with sarcasm. From the guy who leaned way into LEAN KETO.

"And they have Senior Tuesday!" Jack, no one would even card you in the shape you're in, GiveMeDiscount.

No sandwich rotation to get the MEET first. Wonder if he can't even see which way it's up anymore.

"The bred was burmnt." No, that phantom smell is just your fifth stroke, Jack.

Tammy is one of the worst human beings I have ever heard of in my life. 99th percentile enabler. If Jack had an alcohol problem or god forbid a opioid problem, he'd have been gone a decade ago.
 
There is no way Jack isn't clinically retarded. People with severe Down Syndrome would've had enough insight after their fourth stroke to change to a healthier diet.
He's clearly low-IQ, easy to tell that just from anything he's ever written, even well pre-stroke. He's barely literate. But there is some incredibly deep-seated emotional issue that is making him gleefully kill himself with food. I think he had an extremely fucked childhood, more than we know.
 
Jack seems happier post stroke.

Honestly, I don't know if Jack CAN make the flat face anymore.

That sandwich is a fucking fishing lure for jack. THREE MEATS, including his beloved Brisket! Which is smoked, hence the name of the fuckin' sandwich.

The only ways to Jack that thing up more would be to fry the fucking thing and swap the regular bbq sauce for bourgon bbq sauce.

The smoke flavor Jack complained about was the burnt bread. They probably would have swapped the bread for him no problem, but instead he just eats it because he's a fat sack of shit.
 
Jack seems happier post stroke.

Honestly, I don't know if Jack CAN make the flat face anymore.

That sandwich is a fucking fishing lure for jack. THREE MEATS, including his beloved Brisket! Which is smoked, hence the name of the fuckin' sandwich.

The only ways to Jack that thing up more would be to fry the fucking thing and swap the regular bbq sauce for bourgon bbq sauce.

The smoke flavor Jack complained about was the burnt bread. They probably would have swapped the bread for him no problem, but instead he just eats it because he's a fat sack of shit.
That was burnt to you? Toasted a bit dark, but not burnt. The "smoke" considering it's in the name... is probably part of some sauce or whatever they're throwing on sysco foods product, because Jack thinks a damn strip mall sandwich chain is going to be smoking meat somewhere?

"Loaded with meat, and loaded with onions and lettuce and I got it fully involved"

Can't even claim that's a result from the speech to text. Wtf is a "fully involved" sandwich? I've been to firehouse before and I don't remember "fully involved" being a thing. Of course I didn't order a fucking meat mountain either.
 
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