Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Woggie's child bride]

Imagine a cookbook where every picture looks like this.

View attachment 5046596

It'll be the best cookbook for weight loss. Just look through a few pages and you'll lose your apatite.

 

[ddlloo]

FWIW the cookbook idea 100% came about because he found an app (he paid 10$ for) to save recipes in. He posted about it right before the cookbook announcement. That's why he said details will come soon, because he literally only came up with the idea at that very moment.

 

[Tiresome]

Because Jack wouldn't pay to have the watermarks removed, that money could be going to GUD FUD.

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

"Battle for Jacks middle cerebral artery - 2022" Colorized

Spoiler: Obviously

Jack lost

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

It'll be the best cookbook for weight loss. Just look through a few pages and you'll lose your apatite.

Hmmmm, I want to agree but it hasn’t worked for Jack!

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I wonder how much of this is 'just decided' and how much of this external factors making the great meat kitchen less viable. Maybe Tammy is reigning in his diet finally now that she's married to a crippled nugget and not just a limp lardball. Maybe Jack just can't keep up to the physical demands of cooking, he's whining too much but Tammy insists he do something with his time if he wants to keep this sham of a business up. Writing a good cookbook should be easy right?

Hell, maybe he's had his "I've left nothing of value on this earth" shocker moment from it all, and decided to try making a cookbook. Its pretty obvious family didn't work out for him and probably not much pride on that front as a legacy.

Either way, this book is going to be great. I don't actually think Jack's just gonna plagiarize it all in its entirety, he'll give it the old highschool "rewrite the wiki article" effort at a minimum. But Jacks idea of instruction almost assuredly avoids any actual measurements of time, temperature, or weight for anything going in. This shits gonna resemble 18th century cookbooks, with half the instructions reading as "Bring pan to appropriate heat, add ingredients to desired amount, season to taste. Stir as normal, but not too much or too briskly, until appropriate color sets in. Plate and serve." Bonus points when you can't tell what he's even cooked in the poor lighting of the one shaky hand photo he takes to use in the book.

It's probably that he can't cook for shit right now and this is one part excuse why he's not putting out any cooking videos and one part him trying to prove to the world that he's a legit cook. I mean how many internet cooks do you know of that have their own cook book?

You’re correctish, gyu is cow

本当に? 俺はそれを知りませんでした.

But gyu is also the word for beef. They oft times tend to have the moon rune for meat "肉" after it. But in the case of wagyu, or 和牛, means "Japanese beef".

Further down the rabbit hole, the specific beef can be labeled by area - Kobe for instance. If you can get your hands on the real deal it’s shipped with a certificate of authenticity and also includes a nose print of the animal on the certificate. They kind of look like a birth certificate. Anyone that would grind A5 should be shot especially on the 9-12 end of the marbling scale. A1-3 isn’t much different than normal beef seen in the US, so grind away imo if you’re so inclined.

I agree it's a complete waste of money which I believe I already said in a previous post. As for Kobe beef it's kinda overrated. Yes it's nice and all that but $300 for a steak is just ridiculous.

Off-topic but that reminds me, Japanese whisky used to be an absolute wild west where damn near everything was acceptable. The rules were so loose that "distilleries" could and would just straight up import cheap blends from overseas in bulk and bottle it in Japan, that was enough to legally make it "Japanese whisky". I almost picked up one of those bottles once, I was looking for something new but some cursory research revealed that it's just Scotch that spent a month on a boat so I picked up another bottle of Ardbeg instead.

I had to look it up and the regulations are a lot more sane now (it actually has to be distilled and aged in the Japanese region now), but it took years of mayhem for the regulations to come into effect in 2021 and apparently there's still a year of grace period left.

It's like Japanese wine. Trust me, you don't want any of that stuff. But what they would do is buy the juice form Australia, or whatever, mix only 5% by volume of actual Japanese grape juice and call it "Japanese wine".

We tried one once. It wasn't very good. But if you ever have the chance to try some umeshu, which is often called "plum wine", I do recommend it.

 

[Adamska]

My expectation for if Jack actually commits and finishes a cookbook, it'll be mainly comprised of him stealing the first results you can find for each recipe with no editing for them at all. He won't even bother to describe whenever he "doubles" an ingredient even though you know which ones he would. There also will not be any alternatives or additive suggestions either. I also expect the current Jack, since he only came up with it recently, to mainly be spamming canned soup casserole slop dishes.

Ergo he's making a far sadder version of A Man, A Can, A Plan. Just with more random shit he chose to like, and without ever seriously trying to be healthy to boot.

I'd actually be a bit surprised if he actually bothered to organize his recipes at all and didn't just spam them as they went along at this point tbh. It just sounds like you'd see random mexican dippy tacos next to some cajun knock off next to a Salt Horror comfort food next to some egg thing he'll ramble about obsessively if he does decide to include comments on each one.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

I can't believe we ever doubted the power of the wendigo. This man is absolutely going to be filming as a head in a jar ...

Jesus. This fat retarded faggot is incredible. Living to the age of 150 was a passing joke I posted last week. But it's not a joke anymore.

Stroked out, bowling ball gut mass of meat, cheese, salt and grease, Jagoff may just outlive all of us. And our great-grandchildren

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

It's like Japanese wine. Trust me, you don't want any of that stuff. But what they would do is buy the juice form Australia, or whatever, mix only 5% by volume of actual Japanese grape juice and call it "Japanese wine".

We tried one once. It wasn't very good. But if you ever have the chance to try some umeshu, which is often called "plum wine", I do recommend it.

Whole heartily agree. A lot of their attempts at western spirits are kind of meh or just bad in general, but when they take to their roots and make their own shit its pretty good. A lot of their bottom tier junk is poor attempts to copy Scotch and higher end stuff, but that taste like ass.

But decent Umeshu or Sochu that has some reputation behind it is pretty nice.

Anyways with Jack, what does everyone think should be in his cookbook?
Raw-bag'n-Chik'n
Party Cheese Salad
Crunchy no-fry Ribs
Botulism Pickles
Wet brine Cheek'n
Garbage Stew
"No shit in the street, but in your sheet" Butter Chicken

 

[AnOminous]

It's even worse than that. Wagyu literally means "Japanese beef". So ground wagyu can be just ordinary ground beef from a Japanese cow.

Or a Japanese lolcow.

 

[Tiresome]

Anyways with Jack, what does everyone think should be in his cookbook?

Don't forget The ACTUAL Winner Frozen Coffee Brisket Church Chili.

 

[Eljudnir]

I agree.

The thought of A5 being ground into a fucking hamburger, which is basically peasant food with the benefit of New World agricultural abundance, is sickening.

I disagree for the reason that all beef has trim. And all cows have some absolute shit cuts like London Broil that a lot of butchers agree should only be turned into ground, at best, with other trimmings and fat.

Overpriced? Maybe, probably. But it exists for a reason. Wafyu mince is almost certainly just purely off cuts and bits and not a chuck/brisket/sirloin blend, again, besides the trims, unless someone specifically requested it.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I disagree for the reason that all beef has trim. And all cows have some absolute shit cuts like London Broil that a lot of butchers agree should only be turned into ground, at best, with other trimmings and fat.

Yeah and all those little bits and bobs get turned in to ground beef, usually with a little extra fat thrown in. It's not graceful but there's nothing wrong with ordinary ground beef.

Overpriced? Maybe, probably. But it exists for a reason.

Yeah. People buy it because they think it's premium. Like Jagoff did. He got one of those Butcher Block cases that send you a bunch of different meats and some of the packages were ground Wagyu, or Waygoo as he likes to say. There's simply no difference between an A5 steak which had been ground up and an equal amount of rib eye and fat that has also been ground up. Except one costs a hell of a lot more.

It's like organic produce. Most of it is indistinguishable from the regular stuff. But because the yield is less and it's more labor intensive it costs more.

EDIT: Refreshed and lost half of the last bit.

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

jack's cookbook is almost definitely going to be a collection made entirely of those recipes found on soup cans and boxed cake mixes

He will do this, but the problem is these back-of-box recipes are tried and tested. This will not do, Jack will need to put a "twist." This twist will make the food inedible or downright unsafe. It's gonna be great.

Semi-related, but in watching his cooking videos, I don't know why he doesn't use the blanket of cheese method. Cover the casserole abomination with a shitload of cheese, put in a hot oven til brown and bubbly. It's the laziest and most calorie-laden way to make food appealing. You'd think he'd be all over it.

 

[That Damned Tiger]

He will do this, but the problem is these back-of-box recipes are tried and tested. This will not do, Jack will need to put a "twist." This twist will make the food inedible or downright unsafe. It's gonna be great.

Semi-related, but in watching his cooking videos, I don't know why he doesn't use the blanket of cheese method. Cover the casserole abomination with a shitload of cheese, put in a hot oven til brown and bubbly. It's the laziest and most calorie-laden way to make food appealing. You'd think he'd be all over it.

That requires thinking about the situation on Jack's part, something he doesn't have.

 

[Rasputinee]

This thread as well as the creature it pertains to disgusts me with it's each update. That said, the recipes shared as well as the insights on things as simple as the origins of dish names has made this worth enduring. Some of you are alright.

 

[TestTubePuppy]

If Jack makes a cookbook will it include actual measurements of how much unhealthy stuff he dumps in, or will all that occur "off camera" and he'll lie about how much he puts in?

 

[desudesu]

You guys are extrapolating how the cookbook will turn out but forgotten that Jagoff literally gave the best example with his really short-lived stint (due to DA HADURS) on the Whisk website!
His recipe instructions literally was "Combining with Jack":
1. Add [ingredient]
2. Add [seasoning]
3. Put on stove
4. Serve

I wish I had some of the screenshots before he DFE'd the Whisk page when Foodjacks raided it.

 

[100BitchHere]

We’re going to test the boundaries of Free Use. Can a person legally sell a book of recipes cut and pasted from Pinterest?

 

[Octopi]

Honestly, I think you're all being mighty optimistic assuming that he will get any further into the process of making a cookbook than just saying "I'm gonna make a cookbook". If anything ever makes it to print I will eat my own hat.