r/polyamory

Sleazy Car Salesman said:
Not familiar, can I get the basics?
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guy listens to a wat sounding song when doing it and moves along with the tune, girl doesn't like it but doesn't say anything about it for 2 years, he makes a long Reddit post about it, girl finds out and dumps him, guy makes another long Reddit post about it
 
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Personally I think you shouldn't tell anyone, YourMiddleAgedDad
Anyone know what np is? Non-primary?
 
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Grandpa has terminal cancer? Hey, look on the bright side: I have two girlfriends!
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Link | Archive
But of a vent bit of an idk what to do and could use advice. Last weekend I had told my brother and sister about my triad and they where happy for me. I was gearing up to tell my parents today but last night my mom called and told me my grandfather has terminal cancer and all chemo will do is extend his life. No idea if I should just wait a week or two or try and bury this until after he's gone and everyone is done grieving. I don't want to add more stress when everyone is already stressed about his diagnosis. I'm definitely going to see him this weekend even if it means I'll cry in front of him. I think that's the right move since I don't know when the next time I'll be able to do that is or how long I can do that but damn I wish I could bring both gfs with me for support. Getting all teary eyed just typing this out.
 
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Now not only are poly weirdos more enlightened in romantic relationships, they're more enlightened in regular friendships.

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My one take away from years of seeing monogamous folks post here...​


People in traditional monogamy very often (I said often and not always) don't value friendships. They don't prioritize them. They put them on the back burner for every fleeting romantic connection. They abondon them for marriage. And they wake up one day wondering why they are lonely and unfulfilled by their personal connections. Then, instead of valuing any friends they have left or making friends, they think polyamory a panacea and further blow up their life.
Folks, friends are as valuable and important,** if not more,** than romantic partners. Did the golden girls teach is nothing?!?!
 
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Vampirella said:
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Now not only are poly weirdos more enlightened in romantic relationships, they're more enlightened in regular friendships.

Link/Archive

My one take away from years of seeing monogamous folks post here...​


People in traditional monogamy very often (I said often and not always) don't value friendships. They don't prioritize them. They put them on the back burner for every fleeting romantic connection. They abondon them for marriage. And they wake up one day wondering why they are lonely and unfulfilled by their personal connections. Then, instead of valuing any friends they have left or making friends, they think polyamory a panacea and further blow up their life.
Folks, friends are as valuable and important,** if not more,** than romantic partners. Did the golden girls teach is nothing?!?!
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Which is bullshit, because if this thread taught us one thing, it's that poly people see all their social contacts as potential victims, I mean partners. They don't have friends.
 
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Vampirella said:
Folks, friends are as valuable and important,** if not more,** than romantic partners. Did the golden girls teach is nothing?!?!
Click to expand...

I'm not sure what the point here is. Yeah, if you don't have friends, going poly won't fix it. But the idea that monogamous people are bad at friendships is batshit insane.

To be honest I think this might be a generational thing. Probably everyone here can look at their parents, and see how many friendships, acquaintances, neighbors, etc they had. But GenX and Millenials tended to be more isolated, while also being more sexually liberated. This means fewer friends and every friend can be considered a potential romantic partner. At the same time they're more mobile, and more likely to leave local communities for work reasons. So the non-romantic friends they do have get shuffled away every few years, increasing the isolation.

In this world, polygamy can be seen as a shortcut method to establish a new "community", through the common language of sex instead of the common language of community, work, or values. It's quicker, but shallower, and more degenerate. I can even make an objective claim about its degeneracy, since it is based on the literal degradation of the social fabric.

If they're complaining that nowadays society offers either acquaintances or fuck buddies, with nothing in between, then they should be pointing their ire at the same culture that enables their degeneracy, not at the tattered remains of monogamy trying to survive in it.
 
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Alcoholism said:
Now, imagine this: some illiterate soybean dirt farmers from the fourth world are gang banging a woman and have managed to figure out the politics behind this whole familia structure when these high falooting NY honkies can't even decide on what to call themselves.
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If there's one thing education/"enlightenment" does to people, is making shit more complicated than it needs to be. Not sure if it's some weird manifestation of imposter syndrome or what; but the people who want to pretend to be smart, legitimately put infinitely more brain power into shit to get a worse answer, than an 8th grade drop-out with a three word answer.

China also has the strong cultural expectation of the eldest male child having the most expectations and what-not put on them. As silly as it is to say this, saying it's his child (regardless of who the sperm donor is), is the most obvious thing to do.

That person who thinks monogomous types have no friends; I can't begin to imagine what sort of retarded upbringing they experienced. You don't "abandon" your friends for a relationship, at least you shouldn't; if you find a good partner, they'll be supportive of your friends (and you should be of their friends, if their friends are fucking malcontens). But something tells me this person fucks on the first date and doesn't try to personality/culture match, just decides they got some easy access, and they'll put on their dumb poly show until someone gets pissed and leaves, then the cycle repeats... and they'll show they're superior by having a revolving but constant supply of fuck buddies... and being able to stick your dick in someone is a far closer relationship that pure platonic ones.
 
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