Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

A lolcow cookbook would be something I can get behind. I'm guessing recipes from:

- Lucas Werner
- Jack Scalfani
- Josh "KingCobraJFS" Saunders
- Romeo Rose
- Simply Sara
- Sv3rige
- James "Peetz" Lucas
- Nader Elshamy

Any others I'm missing?
Taters losing a knife fight to a potato.
 
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so hypothetically, if i curated a coffee table book "Food of the Disturbed" as a faux recipe with photographs, the original posts from Lucas, and a few paragraphs from his various text spillage, how much do you think i could charge for it?
It would be a best seller overnight!

In the horror genre.
 
A lolcow cookbook would be something I can get behind. I'm guessing recipes from:

- Lucas Werner
- Jack Scalfani
- Josh "KingCobraJFS" Saunders
- Romeo Rose
- Simply Sara
- Sv3rige
- James "Peetz" Lucas
- Nader Elshamy

Any others I'm missing?
The Fit Vegan Ginger was publishing recipes for making poop potions and culinary horrors like peanutbutter sauerkraut sushi years ago, luckily no one bought her books or cares about her copyright so riping them off is easy!
 
A lolcow cookbook would be something I can get behind. I'm guessing recipes from:

- Lucas Werner
- Jack Scalfani
- Josh "KingCobraJFS" Saunders
- Romeo Rose
- Simply Sara
- Sv3rige
- James "Peetz" Lucas
- Nader Elshamy

Any others I'm missing?

Personalities? Far as I can see, you have it covered. On a peripheral note, maybe include a chapter on the dangers of salmonella and other, food-borne illness — not all, but most would prefer dining sans vomit.
 
Some more random pics I've grabbed over the last week:

Sunglasses again to cover up how fucked his eyes are
DIOpO6m.png















This is some hilariously oblivious irony right here LMAO
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More Christian sperging. I love when he gets stuck on his one-track mind of "wehre proof?? WHERE PROOF THO?" when someone's just trying to explain their opinion. It's so fucking retarded lol
OKkECPc.png

What in the fuck is he even talking about? Next level pseudo-intellectual shit right here.
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He definitely thinks he's a chef at a michelin star restaurant LOL look at this dumbass shit.
340840019_1323009901761156_5957367199750175359_n.jpgIMG_7651.jpg

The rest is pretty self-explanatory.
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What in the fuck is he even talking about? Next level pseudo-intellectual shit right here.
View attachment 5072638
Oh geez.
Looks like Lucas got a hold of some entry level quantum mechanics and is sperging about Schrödinger's Cat without understanding the central theory.
Sure a wave function doesn't collapse until it's been observed, but that has NOTHING to do with hallucinating visions out of the corners of your eyes. That's just you quickly dying, Lucas. Take your meds, or don't, not like it'll help you now.
Reminds me of when he was dead-set that he could win the lottery by building a time machine that could project light backwards, and then he'd just use stencils to communicate the winning numbers.
Another theoretical physics experiment he's incapable of fully comprehending.
Compared to that this shit is tame.
 
Some more random pics I've grabbed over the last week:

Sunglasses again to cover up how fucked his eyes are
View attachment 5072611















This is some hilariously oblivious irony right here LMAO
View attachment 5072609














More Christian sperging. I love when he gets stuck on his one-track mind of "wehre proof?? WHERE PROOF THO?" when someone's just trying to explain their opinion. It's so fucking retarded lol
View attachment 5072613

What in the fuck is he even talking about? Next level pseudo-intellectual shit right here.
View attachment 5072638

He definitely thinks he's a chef at a michelin star restaurant LOL look at this dumbass shit.
View attachment 5072610View attachment 5072612

The rest is pretty self-explanatory.
View attachment 5072635View attachment 5072636View attachment 5072637
I like how he says he was 'gifted' those sunglasses and thinks there is nothing unusual about wearing them indoors. I'd bet money he was 'gifted' them by the hospital specifically to hide the awful swelling around his eyes. Its gotten to the point the swelling simply isn't going away and he can only blame 'allergies' for so long, especially when it just keeps getting worse and with no other normal signs of actual allergies, so as usual he tries to hide it as best he can

We can add omnipotent to the list of words lucas doesn't understand. Being omnipotent wouldn't preclude said god from having angels or angels with swords. There are any number of reasons why such a god would do that. There is also the most obvious one where what you're seeing as swords is just shown in a manner humans could comprehend. As in a similar situation to the way the Q were engaging in a civil war with what appeared to be US civil war era technology but had musket rifles that could kill a Q because thats what made sense perception wise. They just looked that way. That idea never crossed lucas's mind, which isn't surprising considering he can barely understand concepts as abstract as removing the plastic from a cheese slice before eating it. He also fails to understand the concept that absence of evidence isn't necessarily evidence of absence

That stuff about seeing shit out of the corner of his eye that isn't there sounds like he's either describing schizo shit or his kidneys are getting to the point where toxin buildup is affecting his mind and causing him to start having some manner of delusions, which is pretty common with renal failure. Lucas spending his final months steadily descending into unhinged delirium sounds like a fitting end, and one ironically similar to the one his mother will inevitably face. Lucas screeching to staff at mallon place about shadow kiwis, flatbills and zoomer baes in his room tormenting him and calling him a creepy pedo, while huddled cowering in a corner shirtless would be just as fitting. It makes me wondering if he's gotten to that point where its starting and he's noticing it and this is his way of heading off anybody pointing that out for when he starts to talk weirder than usual publicly. Seems like a very lucas thing to do. Though if thats the case i'm not sure I want to imagine what kinds of crazy he might post, particularly of himself. Shirtless pics of him covered in his own shit might be a major cannot unsee moment

It looks like he's been watching cooking videos again and trying to replicate them with his way of presenting food, probably thinking it makes him look mature and sophisticated and thinking cause young zoomer baes like expensive fancy restaurants they'll go for his cooking if he presents it that way. That said what the fuck is even going on on that plate? Looks like mayo, melted cheese, some kind of ketchup and sour cream on a plate but no actual food

and it seems he's reverting to classic wern toasterbortion cooking - popcorn, fried pork with guacamole, salsa, oranges, eggs and bananas which he seems to think is a normal thing to eat and a totally normal thing to show off. Its not only revolting its nonsensical. I'm surprised he didn't pour gravy, ketchup, sour cream and melted cheese on it and dump a ton of pepper on top

and holy shit, pouring melted chicken fat on a plate of almonds and dumping salt and pepper on it is the peakest of peak lucas toasterbortion food. Whatever doctor he's seeing about his kidneys would die a little inside if he saw those pictures. That picture is utterly revolting. Even the people on those my 600lb life style shows don't do that shit. and of fucking course he loads it up with pepper. At this point i'm surprise he doesn't put pepper in his energy drinks

EDIT:

and since lucas loves to show off his guacamole, salsa, oranges and bananas....
Almost everything he's showing off there is shit he explicitly shouldn't be eating. But lucas is plenty good with plenty good kidneys right
 
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and since lucas loves to show off his guacamole, salsa, oranges and bananas....
Almost everything he's showing off there is shit he explicitly shouldn't be eating. But lucas is plenty good with plenty good kidneys right
You know what impresses the fertile Zoomer thots? Star fruit; lots of star fruit. You can even buy it with EBT.
 
Some more random pics I've grabbed over the last week:

Sunglasses again to cover up how fucked his eyes are
View attachment 5072611















This is some hilariously oblivious irony right here LMAO
View attachment 5072609














More Christian sperging. I love when he gets stuck on his one-track mind of "wehre proof?? WHERE PROOF THO?" when someone's just trying to explain their opinion. It's so fucking retarded lol
View attachment 5072613

What in the fuck is he even talking about? Next level pseudo-intellectual shit right here.
View attachment 5072638

He definitely thinks he's a chef at a michelin star restaurant LOL look at this dumbass shit.
View attachment 5072610View attachment 5072612

The rest is pretty self-explanatory.
View attachment 5072635View attachment 5072636View attachment 5072637
He’s just fucking with us now right? Right?
 
Some more random pics I've grabbed over the last week:

Sunglasses again to cover up how fucked his eyes are
View attachment 5072611















This is some hilariously oblivious irony right here LMAO
View attachment 5072609














More Christian sperging. I love when he gets stuck on his one-track mind of "wehre proof?? WHERE PROOF THO?" when someone's just trying to explain their opinion. It's so fucking retarded lol
View attachment 5072613

What in the fuck is he even talking about? Next level pseudo-intellectual shit right here.
View attachment 5072638

He definitely thinks he's a chef at a michelin star restaurant LOL look at this dumbass shit.
View attachment 5072610View attachment 5072612

The rest is pretty self-explanatory.
View attachment 5072635View attachment 5072636View attachment 5072637
Holy shit. Im really not exaggerating when I say that I am shocked at how bad he is looking, and how quickly his looks are deteriorating in each new photo he posts. Hes aging at an accelerated rate.

If you zoom in on his left eye in that first photo, you can just bearly make out the outline of his eyelids. It literally looks swollen shut. He will be dead within the year, if not a few more months.
 
Holy shit. Im really not exaggerating when I say that I am shocked at how bad he is looking, and how quickly his looks are deteriorating in each new photo he posts. Hes aging at an accelerated rate.

If you zoom in on his left eye in that first photo, you can just bearly make out the outline of his eyelids. It literally looks swollen shut. He will be dead within the year, if not a few more months.
Yeah its definitely getting worse, probably in large part due to his absolutely horrifying diet. If he hadn't gotten into mallon place when he did there is a good chance he'd be dead by now. No way he'd last very long at this rate if he were still living on the street. I won't be surprised if he's showing serious signs he can't hide anymore by mid summer like yellowing skin. Watch him try to rub foot cream on his face again or start wearing a ski mask to hide it. Thats about the point where I expect some kind of emotional breakdown when he's unable to realistically hide it or engage in denial any longer. Thats when the anger, crying and incoherent ranting posts if not videos will happen. No way he'd let himself die without some kind of fuck you to the world for denying him everything he felt entitled to. Past that he'll likely hit a rapid decline where he's mostly too sick and exhausted to do much of anything. He'll die in his room, raging internally but too weak to do much more than whine and cry at his fate while being ignored by everyone until he slips into an incoherent delirium and fades away, leaving one last shit in his pants with his trademark psycho eyes and chimp grimace to unsettle the nurse who goes in to check him

The stuff he's low key admitting to seeing out of the corner of his eye are probably the him seeing and hearing the bleating of the celestial elk calling him home leading to him slipping into visions of the celestial elk kingdom like maximus when he was dying in gladiator. Except there won't be a wife and kid waiting for him, even in death the gates of the elk kingdom will remain closed to him and he'll find himself banished to some tartarus like existence of eternity spent sitting under a bridge or in some ethereal bus station. Perhaps he'll be double fucked and it'll be like the movie wristcutters, with lucas being stuck with john bulla as his roommate for eternity

Still better than being reincarnated as a beggar in india. Imagine what the indian street beggar version of lucas must be like. Hell his cooking and smell is bad enough without adding curry and street shitting into the mix

That said with him showing off his glasses i'm surprised nobody has made a point of sending him some over the top, sparkly elton john impersonating drag queen style glasses claiming its the latest style the zoomers love
 
Now he is panting even when sitting down. There is no way he makes it to the end of the year.
Oh my god. He sounds even worse than he looks. His breath is wheezing while he's sitting still, he's slurring his words in the middle of the day (with no alcohol I presume), and that cough sounds nasty despite him saying like yesterday on fb that he was feeling great. Yeah, it's time to start the final countdown.
 
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