Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Dr. Geronimo]

Did...did they fix his split in half dick? Is he ok now? What the fuck?

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

Was that ever confirmed (that he survived the impact, only to burn to death in the wreckage)?

The reports concerning the speeds at which the car was traveling (between 132 and 140 mph), as well as the pictures of the wreckage, make it seem like he died instantly.

ETA:
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I’ve seen some bad accidents, but never one where so little of the body and chassis remained. I can’t imagine he even felt the heat of the explosion, let alone the ensuing conflagration, since the momentum/impact needed to accomplish that level of damage was probably enough on its own. If they found evidence of smoke inhalation, well then that’s something else entirely…

Anyone have an un-redacted copy of the coroner’s/autopsy report? Wondering what shape his remains were in. I’m assuming what was left wasn’t too recognizable…[insert obligatory well-Dunn joke here].

Paul Walker was definitely alive before the car burst into flames. He crashed right in front of a nice restaurant and people were eating brunch. They saw him trying to drag himself out before his Porsche exploded.


Dunn probably didn't feel much though. He was pretty drunk and didn't skid over anything before impact. Walker jumped a curb which slowed the car down enough to make the initial crash survivable, but not the ensuing inferno.

 

[behavioral swamp thang]

For every other guy from the crew Ryan's death was a wake up call to stop being retarded alcoholics and to get clean. So the opposite effect that it had on Bam. Who took it like a little bitch since up to that point he was used to only instant gratification with no consequences, he took the self pity route and didn't learn anything.

is not like no one else was Ryan's friend or didn't care. Weeman has his face tattoed on his leg. Cringe, but he still turned out allright.

Breh as we have discussed up thread, it is obvious that Ryan Dunn was Bam's secret gay lover and unrequitted love. That is why Dunn's death destroyed Bam whom was already in a perpetual struggle with his homosexuality.

And to those who blame Ape and Phil, if anything, you can blame em for exposing Bam to sex pest uncle Vito. Helping their delinquent son use his skating and charm to cache into a career was a good intention on a road to hell. No parent could ever anticipate the fame and insanity that came next.

 

[Leonard Persin]

Apologies if this has already been said but Jesse lives in Castle Bam now. He took it over recently after he got divorced from the mother of his 3 children.

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

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Paul Walker was definitely alive before the car burst into flames. He crashed right in front of a nice restaurant and people were eating brunch. They saw him trying to drag himself out before his Porsche exploded.


Dunn probably didn't feel much though. He was pretty drunk and didn't skid over anything before impact. Walker jumped a curb which slowed the car down enough to make the initial crash survivable, but not the ensuing inferno.

What? Paul died in an industrial/business park which was all but empty at the time. In fact it was a known spot for street racing. No one saw him struggling. People from the charity event he attended ran to the crash and tried to put out the fire but obviously couldn’t do it. The autopsy suggests he survived for a few seconds because soot was found in his throat.

 

[lurkin]

His asshole boomer parents deserve all the grief they get from the monster they created.

Bam Margera ‘just needs to settle down and get it straight,’ his mother says as search continues

“We all love him so much, and we just want to help him, and we are not against him,” April Margera told Fox News. “We just want to try to get him help.”

www.inquirer.com

1000%. I know of someone in the exact same vein as dink sunker and they get the same treatment from their folks and the end result is a 40 year histrionic manchild. And funnily enough they even have the same fucking tattoos. A human slipknot shirt.
Ive noticed the people that latched onto bam on a personal level are 15 year old girls and the 40 year old dudes that try and fuck 15 year olds. Truly a fascinating mold to observe bloom outside the context of le random early 00's. They are all irredeemable.

 

[W00K #17]

I'm calling it, he died of exposure staying in the woods all night like the retarded city boy he is.

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

I'm calling it, he died of exposure staying in the woods all night like the retarded city boy he is.

TBH this would be a really lame way to go out, but also expected. The moutains of Pennsylvania are trecherous if you re a fat meth head with no survival skills

 

[Unparty]

His asshole boomer parents deserve all the grief they get from the monster they created.

Bam Margera ‘just needs to settle down and get it straight,’ his mother says as search continues

“We all love him so much, and we just want to help him, and we are not against him,” April Margera told Fox News. “We just want to try to get him help.”

www.inquirer.com

BIG Lowtax and Mommytax energy, just with fewer baby mommas. And Low-T had the guts to eat a bullet out of pure spite.
One could hope it can end as cleanly, but it won't.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

West Chester is a upper middle class + white college town.

It's very nice and pretty.

So yes it's filled with druggies and whores but they ain't niggers and you could take your room out for Sunday Brunch and never notice.

Roots makes great bloody Marys

And don't confuse it with Chester itself which is nig town.

 

[Desu Mountain]

IDK, is Ville Valo an obese bum currently on the run chillin' in the Finnish woods?

Apparently doing really well. Quit drinking, quit smoking, released a new album and apparently selling out live shows.

 

[Tiggletown]

It's not a bad suburb, but it's close to Philly, which means you're never more than ten minutes away from some hardcore drug markets.

West Chester is almost an hour away from most parts of Philly you fucking rube.

It's literally half way between Kensington (Philly drug market) and Lancaster (Amish people)

 

[Victim2988]

Apparently doing really well. Quit drinking, quit smoking, released a new album and apparently selling out live shows.

Never been listening to this genre so I didn't know about the band HIM and this Finnish guy. It's kind of obvious that Bam after jackass tried hard to be a clone of ville Valo.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

I think people are confusing the Ryan Dunn and Paul Walker death with Macho Man Randy Savage's death, where he had a heart attack while driving, crashed his car (in an albeit survivable way) and then burnt to death in the wreckage.

I'm genuinely surprised they could even retrieve a body from Dunn's wreckage, at that point just chuck the whole cube of car into a furnace.

 

[AnOminous]

I think people are confusing the Ryan Dunn and Paul Walker death with Macho Man Randy Savage's death, where he had a heart attack while driving, crashed his car (in an albeit survivable way) and then burnt to death in the wreckage.

Savage didn't burn to death, he just died of the heart attack.

 

[RotPockets]

When all is said and Dunn done he will have died as he lived, disgustingly.

 

[Rommelbutt]

What? Paul died in an industrial/business park which was all but empty at the time. In fact it was a known spot for street racing. No one saw him struggling. People from the charity event he attended ran to the crash and tried to put out the fire but obviously couldn’t do it. The autopsy suggests he survived for a few seconds because soot was found in his throat.

DocumentCloud

www.documentcloud.org

Here is the autopsy report. Maybe I'm blind but there was no soot found in his throat.

 

[Russell Coight]

DocumentCloud

www.documentcloud.org

Here is the autopsy report. Maybe I'm blind but there was no soot found in his throat.

No soot, but strangely enough, Vin Diesel's DNA.

 

[Paranoia Machine]

No soot, but strangely enough, Vin Diesel's DNA.

It's funny because he's bald.

 

[Cats]

Watching Bam these days is like watching a colony of scum scraped and gathered from all the truck-stop bathroom floors in America which has somehow completely unknown to science coalesced into the approximate shape and size of the former Jackass star and is now trying to grift money from people so it can make it's way to a special hibernation cave the location of which it has coded into it's genetic instincts where once there it can enter a deep stasis and wait until humanity wipes itself out, finally exiting the cave and claiming the desolated, scorched planet as its own with naught but eight billion human skeletons and swarms of cockroaches to rule over and it wants that, it wants that exact outcome, eight billion human skeletons and swarms of roaches on a burnt planet is what this being considers utopia.