Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[MavisBeaconTeachesSnipin]

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Also his parents apparently invented the hashtag decades before twitter was even a thing.

>"don't let the idiots win" motto
>give birth to one of the biggest idiots in the world
yikes

 

[S.C.U.D.]

>"don't let the idiots win" motto
>give birth to one of the biggest idiots in the world
yikes

And Pat has never won, so looks like #DLTIW works.

 

[Roland TB-303]

He can't do that, because any day now a big publisher or movie studio will call him and offer 1 billion dollars for the rights to his genius literary works, and he'll be rich and famous.

This makes the most sense. He wants to be remembered for his literary works but he’ll probably be remembered for being a fat fuck who accomplished nothing with his life apart from threatening to kill his wife and small child.

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

I would say it's worse to fail 2 books in to your trilogy and never finish it, than not to get started at all.
As that says to people there was something very wrong with your work.

And that he didn't even just finish it to finish the story, and to have another completed manuscript ready in case anyone asks. A friend just had a story accepted for an anthology and the editor asked if he had anything longform. He had a completed novel ready to send with the caveat that the first five chapters had gone through more revision than the rest, to acknowledge he's not just sending a first draft but there's also more work to be done.

What kind of person does this illustrate?

- Writing because he enjoys creating
- Being prepared to share a work of passion when opportunity strikes, because it could be anytime anywhere
- Revising his work because nothing is perfect, and everything must be questioned by you yourself before the outside world sees it
- Communicating with someone online without coming off as the Platonic ideal of an asshole
- Not overselling yourself and taking criticism with grace

These are some of the core skills of a working creative. Now the way way top-tier who are legit geniuses or had massive popular success can get away with personality flaws, but if you're just looking for some cool credits and enough cash to justify the effort spent doing something you love, it's not hard.

It was the same with his fucking standup, it takes years and years of being almost as bad as Pat was on stage before they find themselves and feel comfortable. But he just quit. Was he ever going to be Chappelle? No, but he could have been the guy who hosted or middled at his local club, had a podcast with ~10k listeners, have something in his life.

Total sperg-out, I know, it's just that people who clog up creative spaces because they only want to be famous and not because they have anything at all to say really grind my pepperoni. There's a lot of happy ground between "famous" and too chickenshit to try and fail.

 

[Ophelia]

Patrick with money would be hilarious. A whole fleet of Rustangs. Endless lolsuits.

Poverty Pat is funnier.

We're watching. He could do it and impress all us atalkers.

If Pat does something we want him to do, from his perspective does that mean the idiots are winning?

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

@Rick's Beef Wellington you make a great point. Pat is so arrogant with his passive aggressive Twitter shit. He wouldn’t look so ridiculous telling fans to tag the publisher about part three if he had it ready to go for a first or second draft. But because he’s pat, he’s too good for preemptive effort for effort’s sake. That lack of humility colors every single aspect of his sub-mediocre life and is the reason why everyone fucking hates him.

Everything must come to him. Ade (the reason he chases success), Annabelle, the fans, the publishers, etc. Maybe that’s why he’s ever expanding, to create his own gravity. He’s been playing 4D chess this whole time lol.

 

[Funeral for a Furry]

@Rick's Beef Wellington you make a great point. Pat is so arrogant with his passive aggressive Twitter shit. He wouldn’t look so ridiculous telling fans to tag the publisher about part three if he had it ready to go for a first or second draft. But because he’s pat, he’s too good for preemptive effort for effort’s sake. That lack of humility colors every single aspect of his sub-mediocre life and is the reason why everyone fucking hates him.

Everything must come to him. Ade (the reason he chases success), Annabelle, the fans, the publishers, etc. Maybe that’s why he’s ever expanding, to create his own gravity. He’s been playing 4D chess this whole time lol.

I would say Pat is a prototypical example of the millennial creative a person who is drawn to things like fiction, comics, films music and comedy not from a deep-seated desire to do it but to look cool to others at parties, to have the chance at fame though minimal effort.
Pat like so many others of his ilk like to say "there a creative" while being deeply uncreative and would be far better suiter to running a petrol station or being a junior manager in a H.R department.
Best you can say about them is they fill space until a real writer comes along.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Pratchett's writings are full of inside jokes that non-Britbongs don't get. Things like that are practically impossible to translate.

Can't speak for the polish translations but it was like reading a new book when i went from Pratchett in german to its original form in english, there's so much word play in every book that gets either omitted, lost in translation or simply butchered. Really, the german translations make him look a much worse author, they are that bad.
Still haven't reread a single one of his books since his death.

 

[cigarettesalsa]

The discworld audio books are a delight. The earlier ones are very old so the quality is piss poor but enjoyable they get better by the 4th or 5th. That's all I have to contribute.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

And Pat has never won, so looks like #DLTIW works.

Sometimes Pat reminds me of DSP. But I could never follow DSP's drama, because somehow that little cockroach always slimed his way out of true punishment. He would never win, but he would never have much of a decisive, permanent loss either (and even when he did, the lack of shame would lessen its impact).

And that's why I LOVE Pat.

That fat imbecile will always somehow squirm his way out of a WIN. Every single time he is about to get a W, his ego gets in his way and he fucks it up.

- It's easy: change your phone number! "No!"
- It's easy: just don't reply and the judge will rule against Ona/BigDickAndrew! "No!"
- It's easy: just don't post your ENTIRE life on Twitter and you'll win! "No!"
- It's easy: to regain custody of your only child, just accept the usual custody terms and don't make insane demands! "No!"
- It's easy: Quasi has already consented to give you the forum's user's data, just as long as you take him out of the lolsuit!... "No!"

The good lolcows are the ones that write their own demise, with their own hands.

At least when it comes to *that*, Pat is unquestionably the greatest author I've ever seen. Bless his dilated fat heart.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

He can't do that, because any day now a big publisher or movie studio will call him and offer 1 billion dollars for the rights to his genius literary works, and he'll be rich and famous.

I thought Pat already claimed he's rich because he's sold the film rights to the epic story of Firstname Lastname/some other book he's done? Or is Pat so great he can sell the film options twice?

Patrick with money would be hilarious. A whole fleet of Rustangs. Endless lolsuits.

So he'd be fellow alcoholic Mustang enthusiast Midwesterner Nick Rekieta? Imagine the amount of food he'd consume daily.

 

[I Can Smell My Balls]

He can't do that, because any day now a big publisher or movie studio will call him and offer 1 billion dollars for the rights to his genius literary works, and he'll be rich and famous.

One of my longer term pat predictions is that he goes back to being an “author” after he fails at whatever is happening currently and tries to sell the rights to his “story”. He won’t have anything written at all, he will keep throwing the idea out on twitter (which he will still be on despite it being owned by elmo), and maybe post screenshots of a few horrible paragraphs on his laptop that doesn’t kill anyone. Of course it will never ever get picked up, but it’ll be a funny fat arc that I hope we get to enjoy someday.

 

[Broadside]

This makes the most sense. He wants to be remembered for his literary works but he’ll probably be remembered for being a fat fuck who accomplished nothing with his life apart from threatening to kill his wife and small child.

That's an amusing thing with many lolcows; they often think they're successful despite the trolls and the cow antics (Cyraxx the "famous rapper", Daniel Larson the "famous singer", Patrick the "famous author).
They don't realise that they're actually well known purely for being lolcows and that's all that comes up when anyone googles their name.
It doesn't matter what you think you are; what you do defines who you are.

 

[Sue Lightning]

It doesn't matter what you think you are; what you do defines who you are.

you just don't understand , he's on a whole other level , we're lucky he spends all his time with his so called stalkers instead of writing his books lol

 

[Dean Pentel]

PL: My friend’s mother translated the Asterix books into English and had a huge impact on the series. Related to your comment:

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But first we need someone to translate Pat’s books from fat tard to English.

No sane person can endure such awful literature. It'd be as if the books from In The Mouth of Madness were real and someone read them.

That's an amusing thing with many lolcows; they often think they're successful despite the trolls and the cow antics (Cyraxx the "famous rapper", Daniel Larson the "famous singer", Patrick the "famous author).
They don't realise that they're actually well known purely for being lolcows and that's all that comes up when anyone googles their name.
It doesn't matter what you think you are; what you do defines who you are.

So...you're saying he's so enormously fat and stupid even the Slaton sisters would be, "Fucking hell, you're fat and delusional"?

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

At the very least if you're going for an acronym you could leave it in but make it lowercase, so DLtIW if you wanted it to be said "Diltiew". It should be DLIW though, you're right and your English is better than No Pubisher Pat.


Yes, Pat has no publisher, he got his Tor deal when people thought that if you had a lot of Twitter followers that meant you had a following. He got two books into a trilogy that Tor couldn't even be bothered to let him finish as an ebook only release, which I would imagine has next to no production costs. Cover art, dyslexic editor...that's it?

Is it better to have gotten a publishing deal and fail at your dream, or never to have gotten one and still have the vision of a better future and the drive to work towards it?

Ebooks don’t have ppb (paper printing binding) costs but still have editing, xml/typesetting, design (cover and interior), galleys/proofs, and overheads like marketing (for a low list book like this, that means placement on distributor websites and probably nothing else). Plus they would have to give Fatrick some type of advance unless he received a single upfront advance for 3 books that they ended up writing off when they canceled the 3rd one.

It’s not at all a big investment and your overall point stands—there was a complete lack of faith in the third book and Tor brass decided that even $5,000-$10,000 or so was too much to spend. Sad!

Adding: Commissioning editors also take author “fit” into account when they’re deciding which authors to fight for. Plenty of poor-selling authors get chance after chance, in part because their editor believes in them. What sort of author do you think Fatrick was for his editor? Do you think he was pleasant, accommodating, low drama, took feedback well, marketed himself tirelessly?

I don’t.

 

[Law]

Dumpy Large Tweeter Incessantly Whines
Dork Loses Tools In Winter
Deck Looks Troubled, Is Warped
Debt Looms, Trolls Inside Web

And if you work at Tor,
Don't Look Through Idiot's Writing

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

More from torswats re: Tomlinson

 

[Law]

Man, totswats is a fucking psycho.

So...you're saying he's so enormously fat and stupid even the Slaton sisters would be, "Fucking hell, you're fat and delusional"?

The Chad Amy Slaton
> owns a house that Quasi doesn't have a lien on
> has full custody of both of her (mostly) planned for and very wanted children
> successfully lost over 100 pounds through diet, exercise and gastric bypass surgery

The Virgin Patrick S. "Torque Wheeler" Tomlinson
> Quasi owns Nikki's half of the duplex due to Pat's incompetence
> lost custody of his daughter when his first wife bailed
> gets fatter every year, currently ballooning

 

[Broadside]

More from torswats re: Tomlinson
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Drop proof or fuck off Torfaggot