🐟 Fishtank Fishtank.Live General - Jet Neptune's Pisces Aquarium Internet Reality Show w/ Host Bam Margera

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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%
  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%
  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 168 22.0%
  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.1%
  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%

  • Total voters
    763
Nah just help me out there's a ton of pages every time I come back.
Simon is s a stand-up comedian from Texas (Austin?)

Sam introduced him as a new contestant. Earlier someone posted a tweet by Simon saying he would be gone "for as long as 4 weeks"

He might be here just stir things up or so that Dam can be eliminated and go participate with his pregnant wife side-quest (if that is even true)
 
Say what you will about Letty's face having more angles than a stop sign...But Hog's face worse than just the amorphous "fat person" lack of facial features. Her eyes are literally on the sides of her head. Paint her gray and she would pass as a hammerhead shark
 
Alright now that we're back, here were some of the happenings of the weekend:
-Vance's doppelganger joined the tank as a freeloader
-Damiel quit the tank after threatening to strangle Letty and throwing her clothes into a portapotty
-Airsoftfatty joins the tank as a freeloader
 
FT KF.png
airsoft fatty.png
jabba.png
 
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This is my last set of notes from around the time Farms got dilated. Yes, I know it's late but I'm posting any way for posterity. Apologies for sloppy editing. (Not only am I retarded but lazy too)

1:05PM Day 18
TTS: "Simon how do you feel about women peeing in the shampoo?"
Simon responds by saying pee is good for your hair.

mfw he's bald

1:26PM Day 18
Ben enters with some kind of whistle/flute/not-hungover-friendly sound and announces a challenge in 10 minutes

Simon tells the other fish about being called "Shang Tsung with down syndrom" (He seems to think its funny. I wonder if it will become part of his stand-up act)

1:31PM Day 18
Josie does a Goldstriker impression "Wheres the ice cream?"

Simon asks the fish about fishbucks and thinks it's cool they get some money

Mexican Hat Dance blares loudly on TTS and Letty and Josie jam out to it. Those two and Simon don't seem to be as hungover as the others.

1:35PM Day 18
TTS does the ice cream bit and Josie does her impression again


DAY 18 CHALLENGE:

1:37PM Day 18
Ben returns and asks the fish to move the tents. He has a plastic container full of plastic balls. He tells everyone to get in the tents but leave their heads poking out enough for the cameras to see them. Ben and white shark each have 15 balls. They will be hidden upstairs and the fish will have 20 minutes to collect as many as possible. The person who has the most will win an advantage in an upcoming challenge. There is also a red bowling pin worth 5 balls.

1:45PM Day 18
The fish begin the search!
Vance found an empty box of some type and seems to have collected a lot of balls in it so far. The other fish aren't having the same luck and didn't think to improvise a basket.
In Bedroom 4 Dam asks Vance if it's teams or personal and Vance says he thinks it per person. Dam takes one of Vance's balls.

I can't be arsed to follow all the fish around in different rooms while they're split up, but it looks like Vance is far in the lead.

Simon takes the 2 red bowling pins from BR4 "just in case" even though the other fish think they are not part of the game because they've been there since before this challenge.

1:56PM Day 18 Hallway
Simon uses his Asian powers to do basic math and declares that all 30 balls have been collected. Dam uses his chigger powers to keep searching anyways and insults the other fish for not being as retarded as himself.


DAY 18 CHALLENGE RESULTS

2:00PM Day 18
Ben calls the fish downstairs to the kitchen and confirms the red bowling pins from BR4 are not part of this challenge.

(SOMEONE CORRECT THIS COUNT PLEASE) I'm too retarded to type and watch at the same time and my math doesn't add up

Vance: 9 balls
Simon: 8 balls
Josie: 7 balls
Letty: 3 balls
Hog: 3 balls
Dam: 1 ball

Ben says Vance got the most and frustratedly asks if anyone else cares anymore and why no one else even tried. Ben says it will affect the rest of the day and tells Vance he will have an advantage in the next challenge. Dam goes into angry entitled chigger mode while the other fish are mostly silent.

2:03PM Day 18
White shark brings Vance a goofy looking golfer/fisherman hat.



3:10PM Day 18
Jet gives a rambling speech about apes before assigning Letty a Camp Ranger role. She is in charge of all their supplies and how there are distributed. He gives her a copy of 48 Rules of Power and tells her to learn how to manipulate and gaslight the others. She has Vance's weird hat now for some reason.

3:16PM Day 18
Simon says Jet is autistic because of his "bad music video"

11:23PM Day 18
Ive tuned in 3 or 4 times now and it's Jet and the wiggers with their cameras in each others (and the fishes) faces doing retarded rap free style nigger bop shit. Simon is too much of a chigger to keep the content from going sideways I guess. I hope it spikes back up by the time I have more time to tune in again.
 
People here, in chat and elsewhere have been speculating about the origin of the TTS sound and whether or not it's from a video game.

It's actually a free-to-use sound effect called "Tech Glitch 10 Serious Glitch" from FreeSound.org.

Local copy:
 
-Vance's doppelganger joined the tank as a freeloader
The fish were instructed to get drunk due to the "drunk piece of shit" challenge Jet pulled out of his ass, worth one fishbuck to the three best drunkards. As this was happening Vance was doing an Australian accent and trying to say things at the same time as Lance, which quickly became one of the viewers' favorite bits. Lance kept egging Vance on until Vance got blackout drunk, passed out on the kitchen floor, was taken to a bedroom by Ben then threw up on himself. He woke up at some point and asked where he was and who was in the room with him. It was Violetta, who was trying to sleep as the smell of vomit filled the room. Ironically, the challenge was over before he got plastered and he didn't even win it.



-Damiel quit the tank after threatening to strangle Letty and throwing her clothes into a portapotty
More on this:

damielLeaves.png

I would like to note that Sylvia sided with Damiel because Violetta and her had a shouting match at some point. Violetta asked "what kind of tradwife has an OnlyFans?" which made Sylvia get all mad. There was a dancing competition and Violetta wisely came up with a physically demanding dance Sylvia couldn't keep up with, this led Sylvia to agree with all the bullshit Damiel said about Violetta because she's extremely petty. Vance stood there like a bitch and didn't stand up for Violetta either.

-Airsoftfatty joins the tank as a freeloader
He's fat with a high-pitched voice and annoyed all the fish with his autistic ramblings.



Small recap of the night, this isn't everything.

There was another debate but boring this time without Jon (everyone was pro-abortion), followed by them ranking each other from least to most hot, followed by a roast Violetta actually wrote down jokes for. Not sure if in this exact order. This was a failed attempt to create drama, but it did give us this funny moment where Violetta reads her over-the-top joke and makes Sylvia quietly cry and discreetly wipe away a few tears.



"Sylvia, you look like Courtney Love if she grew up in a trailer park and liked taking black dick." There was an awkward silence then Sam looked at the living room camera and went "over the line much?" Actually, nobody genuinely laughed at any of the jokes during the roast except Sam in a derisive manner at some of them. Sam says the following to Violetta, then leaves.



They were all chained together at the ankles with number-combination locks and told to "find clues" to free themselves. Josie apparently brute forces the lock and is told to put it back on by the crew. The clues are hidden around the house, they all free themselves at some point.



In Vance and Violetta's bedroom, the two of them have a chat before going to sleep. Violetta pries and pries and pries into Vance's music tastes and shares some of her own. He mentions that he used to be on some music forums, Violetta asks what they were and Vance says he doesn't even remember their names and they're shut down by now. He eventually gives up the charade and confesses that he's a /mu/tant. Violetta laughs and admits that that's what she was trying to get him to say because his music tastes were very /mu/-like.

As it turns out, he's been shilling his shitty synthpop there since 2013, when he was 15 years old. Look up "vancelatta" and "braxtontheporcupine" on any /mu/ archive if you'd like to see him advertising his albums over and over again.
 
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Thank Josh we're finally back, I had to fucking use /tv/ for updates on what was happening when I didn't watch. I am so sick of the thirstposting there.
 
Alright now that we're back, here were some of the happenings of the weekend:
-Vance's doppelganger joined the tank as a freeloader
-Damiel quit the tank after threatening to strangle Letty and throwing her clothes into a portapotty
-Airsoftfatty joins the tank as a freeloader
It boggles my mind that there are still people simping for Damiel after he's proven himself to be a little bitch with a fragile ego multiple times.
 
Anyone happen to clip the roasting of fatty by Simon? I had to go to bed before they started
 
finally got off my ass and installed TOR. damn, it feels good to be back.
shame that there hasn't really been much updates here, I prefer this thread to the /tv/ generals since it's way easier to keep up to date on stuff here
 
finally got off my ass and installed TOR. damn, it feels good to be back.
shame that there hasn't really been much updates here, I prefer this thread to the /tv/ generals since it's way easier to keep up to date on stuff here
There's been no updates cause the sites been down, We just got back up a few hours ago
 
Airsoft Fatty was fun for awhile but holy shit all he talks about is consooming shit like star wars or trying to do shitty impressions. Hell House in every sense of the word.
 
I'm so sad the site was down for one of my new favorite fishtank moments, Sylvia getting absolutely smoked by TTS and having a meltdown.

She'd been ragging on Violetta for letting the TTS upset her and claimed she didn't ever let it get to her so it was especially gratifying.

Like a lot of us suspected, Jet confirmed Sylvia's TTS was being heavily filtered because she was so sensitive about it (dunno if anyone has this interview saved, it happened the same night). It was perfect timing to take the filter off at that point.

At one point Sylvia was seething in the kitchen about it and the marriachi music came on, and you could see Letty in the background in the living room dancing to the music while Jet was filming her. It was such a funny moment.
 
People here, in chat and elsewhere have been speculating about the origin of the TTS sound and whether or not it's from a video game.

It's actually a free-to-use sound effect called "Tech Glitch 10 Serious Glitch" from FreeSound.org.
This whole time I couldn't figure out if it was the sound of someone retching or having a messy shit. I guess it sounds different when its echoing in the rooms and then picked up by the mics.

Also Airsoftfatty is sitting on the stairs and cooing like a pigeon.
 
Not gonna lie, I've been loving the freeloader shenanigans the past few days but missed having a place to talk about fishtank. Glad the farms are back up
 
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