Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Adamska]

I'll be honest his newest video plays like an actual dark parody of Jack himself. He legit beelines to the version of the sandwich that has the term "Jack" in it. Orders two whole goddamn sandwiches and the fries to eat in one go. He also does a skeevy down pan camera shot like you would if you were doing an oggle shot of a model or a prostitute you hired for some private movies.

And then there's him just gurgling "gud" and staring blankly off the side. He legit fucking forgot Tammy told him the place had cheesesteaks less than two seconds after he mentioned the sandwich. If you gave me this video I'd have told you it's a fucking joke. But it's real.

 

[biggacracka]

Could it be that jack is worse since he missed the second half of the mario movie? maybe it gave him a mini stroke or some shit

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Other than what @Dollar Store Sentai mentioned, it's because when Jack tries to eat a burger like a normal person, you get results like this:

https://youtu.be/AYUxNdrCxCE?t=376

Or the infamous Wendy's Bourbon Bacon Burger:

Has to smash it into his mouth while the sauce drips down onto his shirt.

I'll be honest his newest video plays like an actual dark parody of Jack himself. He legit beelines to the version of the sandwich that has the term "Jack" in it.

The moment I saw that on the menu I knew he was going to order it. Sure it sounded good but we all know, like the manbaby he is, he needs to get everything that has his name on it.

 

[Tiresome]

The moment I saw that on the menu I knew he was going to order it. Sure it sounded good but we all know, like the manbaby he is, he needs to get everything that has his name on it.

Jack, even before he repeatedly destroyed his neurons, was always such a lizard brain. Imagine if EVERYONE rushed to buy anything that contained or even sounded like their own given name.

 

[Rei is Shit.]

Like I proposed earlier, I think he had another minor stroke after recording the back from the nursing home ribs and he's so bad now that Tammy can censor him to keep his mouth shut. The last 3 fat on the go videos he looks and sounds half dead, significantly worse than the cooking with fat bruschetta and casserole nonsense.

Or another possibility is that Tammy has gotten so fed up with his ass, he actually has been heavily drinking and she doesn't care enough to complain about it.

Ie we're on 5th impact and its disabled him further

 

[Super Hans v2]

Like I proposed earlier, I think he had another minor stroke after recording the back from the nursing home ribs and he's so bad now that Tammy can censor him to keep his mouth shut. The last 3 fat on the go videos he looks and sounds half dead, significantly worse than the cooking with fat bruschetta and casserole nonsense.

Or another possibility is that Tammy has gotten so fed up with his ass, he actually has been heavily drinking and she doesn't care enough to complain about it.

There's no point to keeping track of his number of strokes anymore. There's a minimum of three, another three for probables, and that's just what a tard like Jack bothers to make himself aware of and publicize. With how blasé he is about his health, it could easily be a dozen.

 

[densedance]

 

[Tiresome]

View attachment 5136517

Rob is one ice. cold. motherfucker.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Simply not doing any PT or OT anymore and just sitting all day on his fat ass and filling his gluttonous gullet with shit could be enough for his decline. His muscles are very weak they need stimulation as does his mind which was already working at low capacity before any strokes.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

View attachment 5136517

Friendship? Guy he met once IRL and just leaves messages on his social media is a "friend". Just more evidence that Jagoff is a manbaby with no real friends who will call anybody who pays him attention without being obviously mean about it is a "friend". I don't know if that's sad or hilarious.

 

[biggacracka]

need stimulation as does his mind

I'll have you know he watches intelecctual stuff such as blues clues [OBJ][OBJ]

 

[ZipDisk]

Fuck, we've entered the era of truly dark Rob.

As to Jack ordering anything with Jack in the name, that's legacy content. He's ALWAYS done that. Tammy pointed it out in case stroke brain missed it.

As I said, the Moose sandwich was more up Jack's alley, more meat, no veg, double cheese.

And I will never forget bourgon tantrum. Bourgon Squad! More Bakey!

 

[Adamska]

The moment I saw that on the menu I knew he was going to order it. Sure it sounded good but we all know, like the manbaby he is, he needs to get everything that has his name on it.

Oh I know he'd get mommy-wife to buy it, but he delivered the line in the same way you'd parody him, like the moment he saw his name. It was up there with him doing the retard "yeeeey" with the Borgin Bakin Borgl video where he waddled back to the Wendy's to bitch about no bacon in the middle of Tornado Watch conditions. It was so farcical.

Also it isn't a good cheesesteak if you're going for philly style. Wrong cheese, the steak "shavings" looks stewed, wrong peppers, and mushrooms don't go on it. It might be a perfectly fine sandwich, but for Jack magically picking the one location nearby that has the worst scores.

It's so funnier when you keep in mind that he picked the location that has a flood of 1-star reviews stating how it gave them the shits. The other locations literally are 3/4 of a star better. His unerring sense of picking the shittiest chain slop is still undamaged it seems.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

Jack eats anything with his name in it? Keep your dogs away from Jack Russell Scalfani

 

[AnOminous]

The moment I saw that on the menu I knew he was going to order it. Sure it sounded good but we all know, like the manbaby he is, he needs to get everything that has his name on it.

I want to open a restaurant just so I could have a literal human shit sandwich with ricin sauce and a side of rabies, and call it the Jackwich. That fat idiot would buy it and die.

Fuck, we've entered the era of truly dark Rob.

Dark Rob is scary.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Also it isn't a good cheesesteak if you're going for philly style. Wrong cheese, the steak "shavings" looks stewed, wrong peppers, and mushrooms don't go on it. It might be a perfectly fine sandwich, but for Jack magically picking the one location nearby that has the worst scores.

It's not a legit Philly Cheesesteak but I don't think it's supposed to be either. Having said that it didn't look necessarily bad. The whole point is he ordered it because it's got his name on it and it had jalapenos because Hammy doesn't like them and it means more for him.

The man is humongous asshole.

 

[James done did it]

Is he sick in this new video or did he have another nanostroke that caused enough brain damage to change his voice? He sounds even lower IQ than normal.

 

[Harlow]

Is he sick in this new video or did he have another nanostroke that caused enough brain damage to change his voice? He sounds even lower IQ than normal.

It seems like it as hes be sounding terrible in all the JotG videos too. Seems like like he recorded a handful of videos, had another medical event, and is now recorded more. Or, even better, thats just how hard and fast the decline is happening.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Is he sick in this new video or did he have another nanostroke that caused enough brain damage to change his voice? He sounds even lower IQ than normal.

Nobody is quite sure but if I had to hazard a guess? Congestive heart failure. Makes you sound like shit due to fluid buildup in your lungs, you're confused and unable to focus on anything. That's Jagoff right now. His heart is only working at part capacity, his brain is on autopilot and he's can't remember what he ordered two minutes ago.

Good news is? He might only have 2-3 years to live. Bad news is? We have to suffer through 2-3 years of him doing Fat on the Go and making disgusting recipes.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Cooking with Robert is back with the latest episode. Jack continues to sound like a literal tard.

Look at the way Jagoff semi-came when he smelled the meat and declared "OW I CAN SMELL THE BEER"