Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

Yeah the "All you can eat" where it's a time limit, is something a lot of Asian places do. Back in Japan it was called "tabehoudai" and for two hours you got unlimited food. The other side of this is "nomihoudai" where for two hours you got unlimited drinks. It was limited to draft beef, house wine and a couple different liquors where often times they'd just bring you the bottle.

Of course Jagoff is not fond of broccoli unless it's doused in cheese or deep fried. And I can see why he said it was amazing. The amount of meat he was able to eat must have been enormous.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

This moment is the perfect summary of Jack: Tongue fully deployed while single handedly shoving an entire serving of meat into his mouth.

EDIT: Also, Jack is being feisty in the comments section:


Jack is really sticking to the whole "My multiple kidney stones were caused by everything but me" story.

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

Jack is really sticking to the whole "My multiple kidney stones were caused by everything but me" story.

I guess next he'll claim his multiple strokes and heart attacks were the result of to much exercise. Doctor said he's to stick to a sedentary lifestyle and a diet of as much meat and cheese as he can shovel into his maw.

 

[Aunt Carol]

View attachment 5209329
This moment is the perfect summary of Jack: Tongue fully deployed while single handedly shoving an entire serving of meat into his mouth.

There's an age when dudes, even otherwise-competent dudes, start having esophageal food bolus obstructions from getting overly-enthusiastic about steak. Often a little tipsy, good times with friends, whoops shoulda chewed more. It's even called "Steakhouse Syndrome" for short.

People may not know how common this is, because the patients usually come to the ED in the after-dinner hours and go home after a quick Endo procedure. They're pretty embarrassed and aren't telling their coworkers or posting on Facebook about it.

Just sayin', that's all. Gonna link to this post when it happens, though.

 

[Tingle]

View attachment 5209329
This moment is the perfect summary of Jack: Tongue fully deployed while single handedly shoving an entire serving of meat into his mouth.

EDIT: Also, Jack is being feisty in the comments section:
View attachment 5209336
View attachment 5209337
Jack is really sticking to the whole "My multiple kidney stones were caused by everything but me" story.

"Broccoli is crap. Causes kidney stone."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it the complete opposite from what caveman Jack says?

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

"Broccoli is crap. Causes kidney stone."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it the complete opposite from what caveman Jack says?

Yes, this whole "vegetables are bad for you because of anti-nutrients" is some carnivore diet propaganda that he's no doubt getting fed from Charles, and he's happy to accept because it validates his obsession with meat. It's based on a very superficial understanding of how oxalates can be processed by the kidneys, but in reality it's not a big issue for most people who are eating balanced diets. So it might actually be true for Jack, but only because his diet is already bad.

 

[Nitro!]

Archives, medium quality.

Spoiler: CWJ: Lazy Man's Lemon Pie

Spoiler: Fair use commentary

Jack returns to the dimly-lit "temporary" kitchen, where he reiterates that he will soon be relegated to the shed. Jack claims that we don't need to come in close, but then we do anyway because Jack is lonely. Luckily, Tammy appears on the scene to do the work.

The pie is cooked and presented under what appears to be nightclub lighting. Jack is visibly confused by the disposable pie tin.

Spoiler: JOTG: Rice Box, goodlettsville, TN

Spoiler: Fair use commentary

After many hard weeks of sailing through the Orient, Jack's trip ends at Rice Box. He can't remember where he's going, which is not a big surprise. Jack forgets to capture B-roll of the store facade, but makes up for it with a still image he stole from Google Maps.

Jack reads the menu with the finesse of a four-year-old. His fascination extends to the decor, where he helpfully explains that he can't translate. Some food arrives and Jack repeatedly smacks his lips into camera, then dips his used fork into the communal sauce. My hope is the annoyed woman behind him keys his car.

Jack does not review other plates, which means it was all vegetables. Back in the car, Jack solicits Tammy's opinion then promptly discards it.

Spoiler: JOTG: J Street Korean BBQ, Hendersonville, TN

Spoiler: Fair use commentary

Jack fights for vocal dominance over the car's spoken directions. Jack arrives and admires the most important thing to Jack, the big screen TV. Jack speaks with a waitress off camera while trying to pretend he's not filming. Not sly enough for this guy, though!

Spoiler: I See You

Jack expresses concern about the two hour "all-you-can-eat" time limit, because gorging himself for two hours straight is the appetizer course.

Jack's "friend" Tonya appears and [laughing stops]. This woman looks like she wants to be anywhere but here. Jack coerces a few syllables and a smile out of his poor victim. Jack then cuts to a no-context clip of the table burner being lit, and refuses to elaborate.

Jack got a little cRaZy and ate broccoli, but gives no review. Not so gud. Jack criticizes the restaurant's prices but thinks it's gud.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Forgot what CWJ stood for just now. Read it as chronic wasting journal.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

"Broccoli is crap. Causes kidney stone."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it the complete opposite from what caveman Jack says?

Literally first thing I saw on google. So not only is he a retard for trying to argue that broccoli is bad for you, his argument is wrong even if we were to assume that oxalates are super duper mega poison.

God fucking damn dude, just say VEGGIE GROSS JACK NO LIKELY at this point, it'd be less stupid than your excuses.

Yeah the "All you can eat" where it's a time limit, is something a lot of Asian places do. Back in Japan it was called "tabehoudai" and for two hours you got unlimited food. The other side of this is "nomihoudai" where for two hours you got unlimited drinks. It was limited to draft beef, house wine and a couple different liquors where often times they'd just bring you the bottle.

Of course Jagoff is not fond of broccoli unless it's doused in cheese or deep fried. And I can see why he said it was amazing. The amount of meat he was able to eat must have been enormous.

That seems kind of redundant. What kind of disgusting, useless, pile of human adipose would sit around eating for 2+ hours?

...oh right, forgot which thread I was in.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Dehydration causes kidney stones. Drink water.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Rob put out this week's roulette video today.

A couple of highlights are him pointing out Jack shamelessly steals thumbnails, and including an image of Jack ''''being sponsored''''' by P90X.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Forgot what CWJ stood for just now. Read it as chronic wasting journal.

Croaking with Jack

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Even this feels defensive and hostile.

 

[beautiful person]

EDIT: Also, Jack is being feisty in the comments section:


Jack is really sticking to the whole "My multiple kidney stones were caused by everything but me" story.

That second comment has a point. I don't know that much about Korean food, but mac and cheese and potato salad seem weird to me. (Note: just googled it and apparently Korean potato salad is a thing, called Gamja) Like, instead of Korean Barbecue, they took Korean and merged it with American Barbecue. Maybe it's what they have to do in order to survive in Hendersonville, TN, I dunno. But it's very "strip mall sorta Asian," which is typical for Jack.

 

[AnOminous]

"Broccoli is crap. Causes kidney stone."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it the complete opposite from what caveman Jack says?

Jack is, as usual, completely wrong like the fat moron he is.

But it's very "strip mall sorta Asian," which is typical for Jack.

It seems he's determined to die choking down strip mall Asian food from a Sysco bucket while calling it "gud."

 

[Adamska]

We also got a new bit of sage restaurant wisdom. Mexican restaurants quality comes from salsa, Chinese restaurant quality comes from orange chicken. You can tell how good they are by the quality of their entrée, imagine that.

I honestly think a better gauge of how good an Asian restaurant in general is in how good their rice is. Namely because if it's cooked right and doesn't need stuff like soy sauce to cover for it, then it likely means they give a shit.

Also I imagine that Jack recently became obsessed with Chinese food. He seems to randomly develop obsessions over foods, and I'm not sure if it's because he gets offers in the mail or if he is told he can't eat it and he seethes and focuses on the restriction until he breaks it. Eh, knowing him it's probably both.

 

[LobsterBoy669]

It seems he's determined to die choking down strip mall Asian food from a Sysco bucket while calling it "gud."

That'll be his last word. He'll be lying in his death bed, refusing to eat anything but processed shit that Tammy brings to him. "How's the burger Jack?"

"It... it guuuuud..." BEEEEEEEEEEEP

His tombstone will read the following, as per his demands, written just a few hours before his death:

Here lie Jak Scafani
Gud fathr
Gud husban
<OBJ>

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I honestly think a better gauge of how good an Asian restaurant in general is in how good their rice is. Namely because if it's cooked right and doesn't need stuff like soy sauce to cover for it, then it likely means they give a shit.

Also I imagine that Jack recently became obsessed with Chinese food. He seems to randomly develop obsessions over foods, and I'm not sure if it's because he gets offers in the mail or if he is told he can't eat it and he seethes and focuses on the restriction until he breaks it. Eh, knowing him it's probably both.

I think with Chinese food specifically, their ribs are also a good indicator since that's an actual Chinese dish called Char Siu.

As for Jack, he probably saw some chinese cooking videos and was like "Chinese meat gud"

 

[Sugriva]

That second comment has a point. I don't know that much about Korean food, but mac and cheese and potato salad seem weird to me. (Note: just googled it and apparently Korean potato salad is a thing, called Gamja) Like, instead of Korean Barbecue, they took Korean and merged it with American Barbecue. Maybe it's what they have to do in order to survive in Hendersonville, TN, I dunno. But it's very "strip mall sorta Asian," which is typical for Jack.

Actually, Koreans love processed American style cheese stuff. They love shit like spam, top ramen, and hot dogs too. I believe it happened because of the American military presence that's been a constant thing there for awhile.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

That'll be his last word. He'll be lying in his death bed, refusing to eat anything but processed shit that Tammy brings to him. "How's the burger Jack?"

"It... it guuuuud..." BEEEEEEEEEEEP

His tombstone will read the following, as per his demands, written just a few hours before his death:

Here lie Jak Scafani
Gud fathr
Gud husban
<OBJ>

There’s no way Jack will have last words, he’s just going to choke to death on a gristly streak in some shitty strip mall restaurant.