🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Juan Números]

I've actually laughed out loud reading these tweets. He'll blame either Iranian hackers or Minecraft mods when (if ?) he wakes up from his tequila-fueled nap.

 

[░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓ด้้้้้็็็็็้้]

 

[Procrastinhater]

Is Ralph dead? Someone just told me Ralph was dead?

EDIT - Oh right got it.
Is he drunk(er)?

 

[IamnottheNSA]

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Ethan Gunt, 2022: WHEN WILL YOU FUCKING DIE, MEDICARE???!!!!!!?!?!?!!!?!
Ethan Gunt, 2023:

lmao do it faggot

 

[RollerGator]

My prediction is that Ralph fakes his own death, moves further down south, and joins an indigenous South American jungle tribe where obesity is seen as a desirable trait.

 

[Muppetstudios]

We all know he tried to fake his death he would get drunk, forget and start tweeting about stuff

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I mean, announcing your suicide on telegram and then likely ODing on pills is something a teenage girl would do, so it's a coinflip whether he actually did it or not. Either way he's pathetic.

This is exactly what he did. In yet another drunken pity party he decided to eat his entire xanax stash, but he wouldn't do if he couldn't also post about it on telegram. His Gunt calculus is he figures it might get Pantsu to unblock him and he can finally stop lying about going to Florida.

He also won't remember he did it when he wakes up this afternoon. Gonna be tough trying to figure out how to spin it with a tiny brain thumping with a hangover.

Ralph is entirely incapable of being an adult, so him trying to be one (for the first time at age 37) in Mexico is extra hilarious. Suicide baiting always worked like a charm on Sandra and Pantsu, so he's confused why it doesn't work the same magic on the rest of the world.

 

[GradeAGobbleDeeGook]

His Gunt calculus is he figures it might get Pantsu to unblock him

now thats what i call a theory, i like it as a very possible motive for his death announcement, it would fit in with how pitiful he has been
"please no not the father of my child, Gunt please come back answer your phone"
-pantsu hallucination Ralph is having right now

 

[Nottafed]

Well of course his only option for work is fast food. Only job where you can show up drunk, high and put in minimum effort and still have a job.

Kamala Harris's handlers would like a word

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

now thats what i call a theory, i like it as a very possible motive for his death announcement, it would fit in with how pitiful he has been
"please no not the father of my child, Gunt please come back answer your phone"
-pantsu hallucination Ralph is having right now

100% Suicide baiting has been his go to move with his mom, every single girlfriend he's ever had and probably Dick and a few others "friends" too. He does it when he feels like he's lost all control or fucked up super bad.

He also needs a way to end all his lies about flying to Florida, so two birds with one stone.

It's just amazing how often he does this shit, for every time we see it in public he's done it 20 plus times in private. I'm assuming the women folk don't actually think he's going to off himself but think "poor Ralphy is really, really sad and so very very sorry. He must really love me to be this upset."

We really need to give some credit to Harry too. His hard work and alogging has really paid massive dividends this last week. Ralph tried to keep up a brave facade after Pantsu left but it's finally crumbled away. He knows he's totally fucked if he doesn't have an adult to take care of him. He has no idea how to function as an independent adult at age 37.

Suicide would be the first unselfish thing Ralph ever did in his life, so you know if he ever ends up dead after a binge/suicide bait it was just an accident.

 

[Um...]

It was the humiliation of being publicly SNUBBED by RPG that put him over the edge, 100%.

 

[LaurenLauren]

My prediction is that Ralph fakes his own death, moves further down south, and joins an indigenous South American jungle tribe where obesity is seen as a desirable trait.

I sure hope so, he should also transfer all of his debt to his treacherous whore of a wife.

 

[Polyboros2]

So his flight out of Cancun left an hour and a half ago. He's not dead, but I'd bet he wasn't on it either.

I'm 95/5 that he was disinvited to the AF meet up, so when he comes online and admits that he is still alive in Merida, I bet he'll lie and claim that he took a bunch of ambien trying to kill himself. He then woke up a normal number of hours later, but you should feel bad about all the bullies in his life that made him kill himself, and not wonder why he isn't in Florida.

 

[Near]

Thank you for the info, Rad Roberts. Good thing you could make it to the scene.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I sure hope so, he should also transfer all of his debt to his treacherous whore of a wife.

Pretty sure that already happened to whatever extent it could. Ralph blew up any and all credit Pantsu had.

May walked away from the marriage with debt (we know at least $9k thanks to trashing the house in Richmond and skipping out on some rent payments), a Gunt mini-me still in diapers, terrible flashbacks when she spoonfeds Rozy icecream and an online fame for wearing the Gunt Broodmare #2 crown for almost two years.

So his flight out of Cancun left an hour and a half ago. He's not dead, but I'd bet he wasn't on it either.

I'm 95/5 that he was disinvited to the AF meet up, so when he comes online and admits that he is still alive in Merida, I bet he'll lie and claim that he took a bunch of ambien trying to kill himself. He then woke up a normal number of hours later, but you should feel bad about all the bullies in his life that made him kill himself, and not wonder why he isn't in Florida.

This is true, but he would never, ever admit he was dis-invited, bullied not to come to AF's event in Florida. It's a ego blow that would make him suicide bait, but never admit the real reason. Expect another helping of "I miss mah kids" bullshit as his reason for the suicide bait.

Ralph determined weeks ago that the best excuse to give to his incel right wing retard donors was "evil bitches stealing ma kids" for all his recent noxious and humiliating behavior. Never mind he was a nasty, pill eating, drunken mess when his one infant child kid was living with him or that he's always insisted that raising kids is women's work. He never got to be scary, drunk, drug addict dad to Xander (except during brief supervised visits) because Faith had enough sense to run during her first trimester with Xander because of Ralph being a drunk, abusive, pill popping mess that was trying to make her have sex with May.

But serious, Ralph is only a drunken, pill popping mess NOW because his kids were stolen!

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

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There will be snafus, unless Nick took pity on Ralph and allowed him to come again.

The 8:55am flight from Cancun left 13 mins early at 8:42a. Any takers that that's the snafu? Ralph juuuuust missed it?

https://flightaware.com/live/flight/NKS1611

 

[TheSaltySpitoon]

The 8:55am flight from Cancun left 13 mins early at 8:42a. Any takers that that's the snafu? Ralph juuuuust missed it?

https://flightaware.com/live/flight/NKS1611

It’s more likely he’s dead lmao

 

[KneeLengthCock]

No buses, huh? That should be very easy to verify:

There is literally a ferry this fat fuck can float from the Yucatan to Tampa. 100% a low brow white trash swindle. So of course Boss Hawg's piglets ponied up.
Edit: forgot to put the ferry link: http://therealmexico.com/yucatanexpress.htm

 

[Lidl Drip]

RIP Ethan Ralph. Long live Rad Roberts!

 

[AnOminous]

I'm 95/5 that he was disinvited to the AF meet up, so when he comes online and admits that he is still alive in Merida, I bet he'll lie and claim that he took a bunch of ambien trying to kill himself.

Trying to kill yourself with an OD of benzos is so pathetic even a teenage girl would be embarrassed by it. You have a greater chance of dying from quitting them.