Barbie - A More Successful Movie than You'd Think

Margot Robbie is the epitome of vapid Hollywood hypocritical virtue signalling. She squeals feminism with every breath but her entire career is built on the evil male gaze. Whenever she isn't in a "look at me, aren't I pretty" role (e.g. I Tonya, Mary Queen of Scots and arguably Harley Quinn) she fails and fails miserably.

She is nothing more than a very expensive sex toy. Great for cracking one off the wrist but ultimately soulless, plastic and very very disappointing.
 
My mates and I were supposed to Barbenheimer, but the plans fell apart.

Here's how I would have written a Barbie movie. If you're doing a toy movie, your movie should play with the themes that the toy itself has. This is why the Lego Movie is so beloved, it played with creativity as its main theme (Max G/Brain Dump did a good video on that). Toy Story likewise uses the whole growing-up and imagination thing with a generic set of toys.

When I think of Barbie dolls, I think of the wide range of jobs they've cast her in, and of course the vapid girliness of it. So my suggestion: Barbie, as a movie, should have started with Barbie having some sort of existential crisis and going on a quest to find meaning by trying a bunch of different jobs with a sort of Legally Blonde like humor. Spin some girl power thing message into it somehow and there you go.
 
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Context: This bit is apparently a Space Odyssey parody, but….

There is a scene in the Barbie movie in which little girls take their baby dolls and bash their heads into the rocks while chanting “We are not mothers”.

Let me repeat that, because I’m sure many are confused.

In the Barbie movie, the is a scene(apparently a Space Odyssey parody) in which a bunch of little girls beat baby doll’s heads into rocks as they chant “We are not mothers”.

I do not understand.
 
Context: This bit is apparently a Space Odyssey parody, but….

There is a scene in the Barbie movie in which little girls take their baby dolls and bash their heads into the rocks while chanting “We are not mothers”.

Let me repeat that, because I’m sure many are confused.

In the Barbie movie, the is a scene(apparently a Space Odyssey parody) in which a bunch of little girls beat baby doll’s heads into rocks as they chant “We are not mothers”.

I do not understand.
If the intent of Barbies originally was to prepare those kids to be mothers then I understand bashing a grown woman you cloth, guide, and need to take care of with a rock.
 
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Wonder how bad the box office drop off will be after the first weekend, when word of mouth about what the movie's really like starts to spread.
 
Wonder how bad the box office drop off will be after the first weekend, when word of mouth about what the movie's really like starts to spread.
I feel like its too late for that. The film is earning quite slowly back the budget it used, and when combined by the fact that many people fell for the meme internationally, it will earn more.
 
Apparently, the critics are lapping this film’s message up, what with them giving it an 89% on Rotten Tomatoes and all that.

Of course they would, it pushes "the message"
Jesus fucking Christ….
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hey wait a minute

this film is depicting a matriarchal utopia that oppresses and marginalizes the men
and then the men rise up and do the same thing to the women

and then the women take their society back?

did
did they not bother to think for even a single second on what that implies?
And apparently all it takes for them to take over and turn the women into helpless girlfriends/wives/ect is “hey, did you know patriarchy is a thing?”
Holy shit, I love the part where the women fold in a second, it's a good metaphor on what will happen once the islam regimes start propping up in western countries. Only it will be less "I get demoralized" and more "I got punched and my jaw was broken ,for showing my hair, nobody helped me, so I'll stop doing it now". Too bad the matriarchy taking it back only works on demoralized and pussified societies, that will take a long time with islam.
Context: This bit is apparently a Space Odyssey parody, but….

There is a scene in the Barbie movie in which little girls take their baby dolls and bash their heads into the rocks while chanting “We are not mothers”.

Let me repeat that, because I’m sure many are confused.

In the Barbie movie, the is a scene(apparently a Space Odyssey parody) in which a bunch of little girls beat baby doll’s heads into rocks as they chant “We are not mothers”.

I do not understand.
Obviously, motherhood is the biggest sin you can do as a woman in CURRENT YEAR +7. Unless you are a nigger sucking gibs women must be good little corporate drown and be giiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrl bosses.
 
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I legit tought it was going to be a Smart movie about the evils of capitalism
At this point, even THAT route has been played out by the left because that's all they ever bitch about.

Barbie is toy product for girls. it should have been a little fun movie that adults will quickly forget about but will also bring in more girls to buy their shit. Nothing more, nothing less.
 
Barbie is toy product for girls. it should have been a little fun movie that adults will quickly forget about but will also bring in more girls to buy their shit. Nothing more, nothing less.
They fucked up all the famous IPs for boys now the IPs for girls are now gonna be extra ruined by modern hollywood hacks.
I wonder what female toy IPs they're gonna fuck up next.

This is such a problem with western media:
>Music and sound: good
>Visuals : good
>Locations and props: good
>Actors: good and draws a crowd
>Advertising: decent
>writing: hot garbage
It sucks to see all that talent and hard work get fucked up by garbage writing.
Yeah music and actors can be shit as well but every single time it's the writing that's consistently shit across the board.
 
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I wonder what female toy IPs they're gonna fuck up next.
How many are still around that's still relevant? I only know of My Little Pony, but that was already ruined by Bronies, so that doesn't count.
 
When I think of Barbie dolls, I think of the wide range of jobs they've cast her in, and of course the vapid girliness of it. So my suggestion: Barbie, as a movie, should have started with Barbie having some sort of existential crisis and going on a quest to find meaning by trying a bunch of different jobs with a sort of Legally Blonde like humor. Spin some girl power thing message into it somehow and there you go.
I kind of agree with that "quest to find meaning via Barbie's various different jobs" premise, but I have to admit that the sheer amount of jobs she's been portrayed in would force the plot to either focus on a select few or skip through them all in some shitty montage. A girl power message also seems a bit unfitting- you mentioned vapidity, and I honestly think feminism would clash with that vapidity in a bad way (it wouldn't elevate the movie beyond that vapidity at all- only double down on it and send the wrong idea while doing so).
Something more akin to the Lego movie where Barbie just learns she can do whatever she wants if she puts her mind to it when faced with a difficult choice might be a better message- it could help push that whole "finding out who she is" thing, especially if we're sticking with the Barbieville setting, and wouldn't be busy demonizing men to prop up the women. The movie could maybe present the life of a homemaker or the life of a career woman both as "tough jobs" and celebrate the fact that Barbie can choose as long as she's willing to put in the effort or something.

I dunno, I just feel like the girl power stuff helps nobody, especially by now when nobody's even sure what the fuck a girl is (at least, within hollywood writing staff). Celebrating what makes women unique while promoting a hard-working attitude and sticking to the brand (also not dunking on dudes) could make a Barbie movie stand out and give some real positive messaging to a demographic that is just confused as fuck right now, I think.
 
hey wait a minute

this film is depicting a matriarchal utopia that oppresses and marginalizes the men
and then the men rise up and do the same thing to the women

and then the women take their society back?

did
did they not bother to think for even a single second on what that implies?
I can not wait to see the "Ken Cut" of this money when it goes digital:

Ken living in a matriarchal society visits another world where men like him have positions of power and takes back the lessons he learned to conquer Barbieland and insert himself as the ruler, freeing all Kens from Barbie servitude.

He'll be like Moses, parting the Glitter Sea to free his fellow Kens from the tyrrany of Tutankbarbum.
 
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