Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[DeadwastePrime]

That fake vanilla literally comes from an animal's anus. Look it up if you don't believe me. Jack sucks shit out of dead animal buttholes. Jack does that.

well nowadays they synthesize and use vanillan made from like tree bark and shit*. we have progressed past the need for beaver booty glands

*not that kind of shit, scat fetishists.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

The fatass can't be arsed to even put forth the pathetic effort he used to put into his videos. The new JOTG is embarrassing for someone who is still larping as a "creator". He just films himself eating a bite of the meat and going "its gud". Then he asks Junior if he likes the meat and he goes "Uh huh" and the video goes to him in the car giving the place an A because it was "gud". Nice one, Jack.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

The fatass can't be arsed to even put forth the pathetic effort he used to put into his videos. The new JOTG is embarrassing for someone who is still larping as a "creator". He just films himself eating a bite of the meat and going "its gud". Then he asks Junior if he likes the meat and he goes "Uh huh" and the video goes to him in the car giving the place an A because it was "gud". Nice one, Jack.

And on top of that, he insults his viewers by pretending this is some new and fancy "restaurant roulette" gimmick, when he's really doing the same exact shit he's always done: going to some strip mall restaurant that he noticed on the way to the cinema or the doctor's office or wherever Tammy is chauffeuring him to. The lazy fuck can't be bothered to take the time to make a list of nearby restaurants he's never visited and then use a random number generator to pick one. He's too busy spamming Quora with "I don't know" and sucking up to Daddy Elon on Twitter.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Lot's of meat cheap. Jack like. Gud. Literally an A. Tongue action.
View attachment 5247965

Hahaha oh wow how have I never noticed that hump of fat on the back of his neck lmfao

 

[AnOminous]

well nowadays they synthesize and use vanillan made from like tree bark and shit*. we have progressed past the need for beaver booty glands

*not that kind of shit, scat fetishists.

Jack hasn't though, he crawls out into his back yard on all fours and literally sucks shit out of beavers' assholes.

If you don't believe me you can stake out his back yard. He doesn't even just do it for the vanilla, he likes the shit.

 

[Windows XP Home Edition]

Come on in close, foodjacks. We've got another video from Jack where he is accusing Rob of stealing recipe roulette from him. And it looks like he's deleting negative comments again.

Jack really should invest in culinary measuring devices like measuring cups or a kitchen scale, it wouldn't break the bank. The cinnamon rolls look like a botched attempt at crème brûlée with all that cream poured onto them. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually had a scale but never bothered to attempt using one.

Jack "Congestive Heart Failure" Scalfani gurgles through another episode of Restaurant Roulette, of course without revealing anything about how the restaurants get chosen. Pretty sure he's taking the piss out of the YT commentors since he mentions "meat" maybe 10-15 times within the space of 30 seconds and ends the review with "gud gud gud" etc.

>Fajitas
>Shawarmas
>Falafel
The only thing that is remotely Greek on that menu are pitas. Greek cuisine my arse.

In relation to the post I'm replying to on top, pickling/candying fruits/vegetables (aka Glyka) are delicious especially when paired with desserts and are an authentic Greek tradition dating back to Ancient Greece. They're better to use than fruits like blueberries which can go really soggy if baked. However I don't think Jack is even cultured enough to know that Greece's food consists far more than just pitas/souvlakis anyway.




Also something incredibly autistic and unrelated but it looks like Jack is fapping in his new intro when he ducks under the logo.

Edit: My bad, you usually candy fruit but you can pickle them too.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

I wouldn't be surprised if he actually had a scale but never bothered to attempt using one.

Probably reminds him of how unfit he is.

 

[Windows XP Home Edition]

That fake vanilla literally comes from an animal's anus. Look it up if you don't believe me. Jack sucks shit out of dead animal buttholes. Jack does that.

Oh dear god, someone please tell me the artificial beaver anal gland synthetic vanilla flavouring is banned in UK and the rest of Europe.

 

[Cherry Dude]

This is by far my favorite running gag in the comments for the Jackoff on the Go series.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I never noticed it before but Jack's gimp arm just hangs there during the intro for his show

 

[Mundane Ralph]

That fake vanilla literally comes from an animal's anus. Look it up if you don't believe me. Jack sucks shit out of dead animal buttholes. Jack does that.

Imitation vanilla is made from wood. You're thinking of castoreum, which isn't even really used in food, but in perfume. I don't know if they even really use it for perfume anymore; they probably just synthesize the constituents. Nobody is farming beavers for their scent glands.

 

[AnOminous]

Imitation vanilla is made from wood. You're thinking of castoreum, which isn't even really used in food, but in perfume. I don't know if they even really use it for perfume anymore; they probably just synthesize the constituents. Nobody is farming beavers for their scent glands.

Jack Scalfani still sucks the shit out of animal buttholes.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Oh dear god, someone please tell me the artificial beaver anal gland synthetic vanilla flavouring is banned in UK and the rest of Europe.

I'd like to but it's more fun to have you squirm.

But seriously the way they get it now is mostly from wood pulp and petrochemicals. But then a lot of things are made from petrochemicals like you wouldn't believe including aspirin and fake mint flavor. It's crazy the things they can make with hydrocarbons.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

And on top of that, he insults his viewers by pretending this is some new and fancy "restaurant roulette" gimmick, when he's really doing the same exact shit he's always done: going to some strip mall restaurant that he noticed on the way to the cinema or the doctor's office or wherever Tammy is chauffeuring him to. The lazy fuck can't be bothered to take the time to make a list of nearby restaurants he's never visited and then use a random number generator to pick one. He's too busy spamming Quora with "I don't know" and sucking up to Daddy Elon on Twitter.

He is completely tarding out about ""restaurant roulette" and making it seem like something revolutionary he came up with. He might as well climb onto the roof and start yelling at people passing by about it. He even mentioned it on google reviews where nobody has a fucking clue what he is talking about.

 

[Sneeder Griffin]

Our favorite Jack troll Rob Milanowski is now doing his own version of Restaurant Roulette. This time he visits a small diner in Hilbert, Wisconsin (about 30 minutes south of Green Bay) called T's Diner. Looks like a typical flyover diner, but the food looks decent enough.

I have some ties to the area. If you want, I could pull some strings and check these places out for you guys. It's a bit of a drive, but I'm always willing to try out new restaurants.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrKyQ-P0WEk

 

[ZipDisk]

Even that basic child's spinning wheel is more roulette than Jack does.

Fuck up claims he's doing roulette but does the same old shit.
Do Right Populates a list and spins the wheel!

If Rob and Patti went to Vegas and spun an actual roulette wheel while finely dressed, they'd take the crown.

 

[AnOminous]

The only thing that is remotely Greek on that menu are pitas. Greek cuisine my arse.

And then Jagoff's only comment before pigging the fuck out is "muh meat meat meat" and then immediately devouring every bit of meat within his field of vision. Holy fuck this fat bastard.

Our favorite Jack troll Rob Milanowski is now doing his own version of Restaurant Roulette. This time he visits a small diner in Hilbert, Wisconsin (about 30 minutes south of Green Bay) called T's Diner. Looks like a typical flyover diner, but the food looks decent enough.

And they pet the diner kitty!

Kind trolls are the best trolls.

 

[Flesh Ribbons]

Rob, if you lurk on here, I salute you.

 

[Pig Cups]

Rob, as ever masterful with his vicious subtlety, slams people whining about cloned meat, directs everyone to check out Jack's flesh-ripping underdone ribs video, and namedrops our man Pig Cups once again.

Rob, if you lurk on here, I salute you.

I sincerely hope that he does lurk continues to lurk here. Even amidst the enormously harrowing sneed withdrawals*, it still took me (and other avid farmers) far too long to figure out the simplicity of the Tor window on Brave. I wonder if Rob is technologically resourceful enough to make things of that nature happen? I certainly wouldn't put it past him. Love you, Rob!

*thanks to Elliot Fong-Jones' most recent temper tantrum over this site reminding the world that he is (indeed) a rapist. You are, Elliot. You will never escape it. "Consent accident," my ass.

 

[AltisticRight]

Jack Scalfani still sucks the shit out of animal buttholes.

It's probably more edible and healthier than anything he cooks.

T's Diner

Sounds like the place for people like Lucas Roberts and Elliot William Fong.
Are you laughing?
Like, T, right? Testosterone, and troons are men.
(I'll kill myself right now.)