Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

Cobes is waging a war on his bowels

If he drinks enough raw yeast, they'll establish a colony in his intestines and get him wasted when he drinks or eats sugar. TMDWU troles. Symbiotic biology of a boglim ftw.

 

[PetiteFeet]

If he drinks enough raw yeast, they'll establish a colony in his intestines and get him wasted when he drinks or eats sugar. TMDWU troles. Symbiotic biology of a boglim ftw.

Do you think he'd be convinced to eat raw live yeast if that was the case?

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

Do you think he'd be convinced to eat raw live yeast if that was the case?

He literally is. Guaranteed, that jug hasn't fermented much and it's a nasty swill of sugar, yeast, and god only knows what sort of bacteria.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Its only been what. 5-7days??? Theres hardly going to be any alcohol.

Why isnt he siphoning it out? Its just a slurry of dead yeast and rancid corn syrup.

 

[SupremeGuntleman]

Its only been what. 5-7days??? Theres hardly going to be any alcohol.

Why isnt he siphoning it out? Its just a slurry of dead yeast and rancid corn syrup.

He literally is. Guaranteed, that jug hasn't fermented much and it's a nasty swill of sugar, yeast, and god only knows what sort of bacteria.

70% of the fermentation happens in the first 3-5 days, then slows down as the yeast struggles to survive in its own piss (ethanol). However bread yeast usually can't handle more than 8% so that's probably the best he's going to get from his "wine". At this point, it's probably around 5-6% at best. Adding sugar isn't going to do anything because it already has more than it could possibly consume. Given the low alcohol content, he's spending more money on juice/sugar/yeast than cheap liquor would cost in WY, but as people mentioned he can't buy that with food stamps.

Yeast in your brew tastes like shit and will upset your stomach since it will keep producing CO2 in your guts. When brewing, you can add stuff to it to speed up clarification AFTER it's completely done fermenting, or you can just wait for the yeast and particulates fall to the bottom(usually 5-6 weeks in my experience, faster if you can keep it somewhere cool), resulting in a clear beverage that you can siphon off. Cobes is way too lazy/impatient for either of these options.

I'm repeating myself, but I am deeply frustrated that he STILL hasn't realized you're supposed to poke pin holes in the balloon. There's good odds it's contaminated enough that after it's done fermenting the bacteria will take over and turn it into vinegar, if he waits long enough for that to happen.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

What’s he brewing it out of? If he’s using off the shelf juice then there’s a chance it includes sorbates which end up killing the yeast and allow no fermentation.

 

[D_Tractor]

What’s he brewing it out of? If he’s using off the shelf juice then there’s a chance it includes sorbates which end up killing the yeast and allow no fermentation.

some cheap "juice cocktail" that has 2% actual juice and of course sorbate preservatives. He thinks adding extra sugar will counteract the preservatives.

 

[PetiteFeet]

What’s he brewing it out of? If he’s using off the shelf juice then there’s a chance it includes sorbates which end up killing the yeast and allow no fermentation.

He's using what I assume to be fruit soft drinks, the kind that's mostly regular water + sugar, with a small percentage of real juice, possibly pulp and fruit flavouring. Y'know, the typical fake shit in the same vein as his Country Crock "butter" because he doesn't know the difference between the real stuff and the cheap shit.

and will upset your stomach since it will keep producing CO2 in your guts

Hell yeah, more shidding and farting on the troles TMDWU.

 

[AnOminous]

He's using what I assume to be fruit soft drinks, the kind that's mostly regular water + sugar, with a small percentage of real juice, possibly pulp and fruit flavouring. Y'know, the typical fake shit in the same vein as his Country Crock "butter" because he doesn't know the difference between the real stuff and the cheap shit.

Isn't it specifically Tampico, i.e. the cheapest shittiest fake "juice" that exists? Also has sorbates.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

Why isnt he siphoning it out? Its just a slurry of dead yeast and rancid corn syrup.

We are talking about a man who recently ate an entire can of cat food on a whim…

 

[Doxmatix]

If he drinks enough raw yeast, they'll establish a colony in his intestines and get him wasted when he drinks or eats sugar.

The evolution of this homemade hooch is absolutely going to end in boglims' razor. Final form will be just him eating a cup of sugar, sucking down a 6 pack of Kool-Aid Tropical Punch Jammers and snorting 2 sachets of instant yeast. Cobes knows how to burp himself and Jeremy could lift him up and shake him every day or so.

I'm honestly just surprised he hasn't tried to flavor hack the mead with bacon and dorito crumbs yet.

 

[Devious Dave]

I'm honestly just surprised he hasn't tried to flavor hack the mead with bacon and dorito crumbs yet.

Have you seen the Pepsi and Reese's Drink hack? Makes me gag thinking about it
I would link it if I could find it he basically just puts Reese's cups into a 2 L of Pepsi and shakes it up to dissolve it and drinks it

 

[HiveDull]

I'm in it for dorritos and bacon flavored mead. +1 extra points for Mountain Dew/Monster Energy being thrown in there.

 

[NoosJunki]

After watching bitesizevids' update, Puff is definitely the Elian Gonzalez of the Cobraverse.

(No one got the reference?? Millennials? )

 

[beepbopisuckcock]

View attachment 5333705

Goth Baby Bottle. twu

some cheap "juice cocktail" that has 2% actual juice and of course sorbate preservatives. He thinks adding extra sugar will counteract the preservatives.

Isn't it specifically Tampico, i.e. the cheapest shittiest fake "juice" that exists? Also has sorbates.

Any other clips of him making this? I assume he just used an entire sachet of baking yeast.

It does indeed to look to be Tampico. I thought it typically came in gallon milk jugs, but it appears they offer it in the same style jug he has. Ingredients can be found here, which includes sorbate. Sorbate acts as a preservative by preventing yeast, etc. from multiplying. If he added an entire sachet of instant yeast to a 1 gallon jug, its very likely that he could have had enough live yeast cells in suspension to actually get some fermentation. By adding an excess of yeast it doesn't need to reproduce to ferment through all the sugar, so the sorbate won't matter. There does seem to be some sediment in the bottom, but not as much as I'd expect. My guess is he got a few percent ABV. Probably too eager to drink. If he had waited, he might have gotten a better result.

Stressed yeast in non-ideal fermenting conditions will usually produce a lot of bad flavors as metabolic side products. He also chose what looks like citrus Tampico which would be the worst, acidic flavor to use.

Not only will it not get you drunk, it will taste bad the whole time you are drinking it.

Spoiler: Other fermenting autism

There is some basis for what he's doing here. There is a Finnish drink called 'kilju', which is basically fermented sugar water. Ever leave your humming bird feeder out too long? Same stuff. The Finns often use it as a desperate way to get shithoused if underage or only have standard kitchen ingredients. If you don't add some nutrient for the yeast to use, it will taste really bad. Yeast do not like being stressed. There are commercial nutrient products for this, but I've seen just a tablespoon of tomato paste be enough for a 20L batch.

Another related beverage to the above science experiment is "skeeter pee". It's very very similar to a Mike's Hard Lemonade, and is an exception to my 'fermented citrus tastes bad' comment. The recipe is basically fermented lemonade. Because you're putting yeast in to a highly acidic and inhospitable environment, you just add a ton of it. This is accomplished by adding the 'lees' from a previous batch of wine. This sludge is what settles out after a batch of wine runs out of sugar to ferment. It consists of hibernating yeast, dead yeast bits, and fermentation byproducts. There is an absolutely staggering number if yeast cells in the ~200mL of lees. When introduced to the lemonade, the yeast wake up and start consuming the sugar for fuel and the dead yeast for nutrients. It acts so quickly to consume all the sugar that it finishes the job before getting stressed and shitting up the product. Fermentation is over in like 24 hours. Seriously. A usual beer or wine takes weeks to months. Additionally, you can get crazy high ABVs for this style of beverage, in the ballpark of 12%. It's the kind of easy-drinking porch-pounder that doesn't hit you until you stand up.

The whole theme of this post is that you can get away with a lot of yeast abuse by just using a lot of it. This is because yeast reach some kind of quorum before really going to town fermenting everything. It spends most of its energy multiplying until there is a certain concentration at which point it begins consuming sugar in earnest. Check out this image. You have a 3 day 'lag phase' after adding yeast before it starts actually doing any real work. If you do all that multiplying for it and help it reach that critical mass, it doesn't have to work as hard and doesn't get stressed out. It can happily eat sugar and shit ethanol, instead of polluting the drink with esters, phenols, or their own little dead bodies.

tl;dr thanks, yeast!

 

[PetiteFeet]

The evolution of this homemade hooch is absolutely going to end in boglims' razor. Final form will be just him eating a cup of sugar, sucking down a 6 pack of Kool-Aid Tropical Punch Jammers and snorting 2 sachets of instant yeast. Cobes knows how to burp himself and Jeremy could lift him up and shake him every day or so.

I'm honestly just surprised he hasn't tried to flavor hack the mead with bacon and dorito crumbs yet.

Please. I'd die laughing if he decided that instead of boofing a bottle of alcohol, he's going to make his own alcohol in his own gut flora and just eats yeast and drinks a gallon of "fruit juice".

 

[beepbopisuckcock]

My guess is he got a few percent ABV.

Looking at this again, I didn't realize how little sugar Tampico punch has in it. It's mostly all artificial sweetener. Doing some math:

Tampico Citrus Punch has 14g of sugar per 8 fluid ounce serving.
Add 2 cups of sugar at 200g each
This is 224g 624g per gallon, or 59g ~165g per liter.
Adding that g/L value into this brewing calculator, gives an ideal maximum ABV of 2.97% 8.43%.

This puts the brew, again at an ideal max, somewhere between "low alcohol" and "light" beers.


If the flavor was the goal, he could have just bought Tampico Hard Punch at a respectable 8%.

Edit: I got too austically excited about the math and forgot he added sugar. With 2 additional cups of sugar, he could have gotten like 8.5%

 

[8mm Cunningham]

Cobra makes a "food hack" where he puts hot mustard dipping sauce and buffalo sauce in a box of spicy mcnuggets along with some crushed doritos. Then he shakes it up and the video ends. He doesn't show it or try it. Youtube is his job troles.

Remember, Cobes added 2 cups of sugar to his punch as well as honey.

Tampico Citrus Punch has 14g of sugar per 8 fluid ounce serving.

Edit: 30 minutes later he opens it.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

8.5%, had he used actual brewing yeast.

He is using instant rise baking yeast.

Several years ago i experimented to see how high of a percentage of alcohol I could get out of baking yeast. i tried different types of juices, different amounts of sugar, extra yeast, yeast nutrient, etc. No matter what, the alcohol never went over about 4%, and I was meticulously testing with a hydrometer through the process.

I wish cobes would just get a cheap airlock, a siphoning tube, and some real yeast. This was funny at first but now im getting sad and frustrated.

Tampico Citrus Punch has 14g of sugar per 8 fluid ounce serving.
Add 2 cups of sugar at 200g each
This is 224g 624g per gallon, or 59g ~165g per liter.
Adding that g/L value into this brewing calculator, gives an ideal maximum ABV of 2.97% 8.43%.

This puts the brew, again at an ideal max, somewhere between "low alcohol" and "light" beers.


If the flavor was the goal, he could have just bought Tampico Hard Punch at a respectable 8%.

Edit: I got too austically excited about the math and forgot he added sugar. With 2 additional cups of sugar, he could have gotten like 8.5%

 

[Lake Cresva Diver]

8.5%, had he used actual brewing yeast.

He is using instant rise baking yeast.

Several years ago i experimented to see how high of a percentage of alcohol I could get out of baking yeast. i tried different types of juices, different amounts of sugar, extra yeast, yeast nutrient, etc. No matter what, the alcohol never went over about 4%, and I was meticulously testing with a hydrometer through the process.

I wish cobes would just get a cheap airlock, a siphoning tube, and some real yeast. This was funny at first but now im getting sad and frustrated.

getting mad at a retard being retarded is pretty retarded