Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[internet friend]

I gotta say, this thread has inspired a lot of inside jokes in our household. Imagine I’m going to Walmart (I’m not, but another store) and want my wife to come too, I might say “sooo little baby child you must come with me to Walmart”
She: NOOO little suckling infant child those are just your delusions again
Me: I have told you thousands of times atalker, enjoy the shotgun seat
She: I’m into things, but not Walmart
Me: Enjoy Walmart
She: It is Yoooo that will be enjoying Walmart, stalker

If anyone normal heard us doing this, they’d think we hated each other, I assume. We find it endlessly funny though.

You're not alone. In my household "you're wrong" has been almost completely replaced by "these are merely your delusions, stalker child"

 

[AN/ALR56]

As null has observed there's no way he doesn't talk to the people in his life the way he talked to Josiah on Tape 5. I couldn't imagine the horror that is Pat and Nikki's home life.

Interesting, you remember which mati that was?
My favorite matis are when null is talking about classic cows like Tomlinson or bossmanjack or that fat bitch in Kuwait.

 

[Piggle Rick]

HERE'S PATTY, CHILD!!!!
View attachment 5388352

That’s him busting into every conversation where he isn’t welcome. Which I think is every conversation.

 

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

Interesting, you remember which mati that was?
My favorite matis are when null is talking about classic cows like Tomlinson or bossmanjack or that fat bitch in Kuwait.

I got you, a lot of the good MATI clip highlights were thankfully moved to rumble

https://rumble.com/v1o53g3-fatrick-tomlinson-mad-at-the-internet.html

The part of the segment where the Josiah tapes start playing is about 8-9 minutes in.

I remember these clips were my first intro to fatrick I've been hooked since.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

Favorite franchises, books and movies say a lot about an author. Pat clearly is into "science fiction" that has almost no science and is instead just melodrama and social commentary he agrees with.

Rick is clearly a science appreciator, I mean look at how lavishly he turned his dildo collection into spaceships in his books.

Personally I'd love to see Patrick write a revenge story where Notrick Motlinson hunts down Saint Laker and enacts retribution upon him.
It'd be very interesting to see how Patrick writes when he's passionate about the story. He clearly doesn't give a shit about science, engineering, or even the philosophical side of science fiction so it's only natural that all his previous works were uninspired drivel.
He really needs to give up on that Tiny Tim book he'll never finish, and the sci-fi series that will never have a sequel greenlit for it by a publisher. He should chase his real passions instead and let out all of his limp-wristed hatred for his adversaries on paper instead of on X where the only person getting compensation for Pat's writing is Elon.

By his own admission, Pat isn't passionate about any story he writes since the only thing he is passionate about is the fantasy of being a successful published author. That's why his entire ego is wrapped up in his published author and political consultant shtick. That includes his SFWA membership, hence why he fervently defends them from any who might slander their name or that of their fine members like Walter Breen or Ed Kramer. What he writes is just a means to an end, and he presumably writes science fiction instead of any other genre because he watched lots of Star Trek re-runs. There is no passion in the worlds he creates, no indication in his prose he's enjoying the craft and challenge of writing, he is writing because it will make him famous.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

I gotta say, this thread has inspired a lot of inside jokes in our household.

I once told my cat she had been "instructed many thousands of times to stop whining" and to "wait for the knock" when she was being particularly talkative one morning. I like it when she "talks" so I was just being silly anyway, but I didn't realize I told her that until maybe an hour later.

 

[InspectorJappOfficial]

I've gone through the well-written OP and highlights of the first thousand pages and just want to echo what some have said: holy shit, it really is like reading a great book. I haven't gotten the same thrill out of supposed "serious literature" since around high school when you go through the good stuff from the 19th century, before the field was taken over by overeducated midwits (interesting that you see the same pattern in sci-fi/horror/fantasy where there are some excellent early authors like Tolkien, Lovecraft and Jack Vance but it just turns into this zombie industry). It seems that comedy and tragedy may be more interchangeable than was previously thought--and look at that, you've got to come to a place like KWF to find any actual real developments to literary theory.

One thing I have to ask though, how is this turbofaggot still married? It's one point specifically, wouldn't Nikki demand that he ignore the trolls for a few months as that would be almost certain to solve their problem. The only explanation I can think of is that she is brain-dead in exactly the same way and wants to "win the fight." It can't be that he's abusing her as she would've had many chances to escape over the years, not to mention that it's got to be her family that's funding their pigpen. (P.S. I loved the casual reference to her as "your rat-faced wife" by an OnA rascal. Those guys can really be magnificent when they want to.)

I agree, the Tragedy of Tomlinson is like a modern day Death of a Salesman, only hilarious and engaging instead of maudlin and a little dull.

As for why Nikki stays with him, there's a lot of people who seem to have blinders on whrn it comes to judging the ethics of their partners. There are good men who date backstabbing women that'll actively destroy their lives without the bad excuse of hot sex, and good women who date vile abusive men who are too gross to be a sexy 'bad boy'. I assume his wife is such a person, because even if she herself was a deranged psychopath it still wouldn't explain how she could stand being around Patrick.

also, good to see another based jack vance enjoyer.

 

[Piggle Rick]

I once told my cat she had been "instructed many thousands of times to stop whining" and to "wait for the knock" when she was being particularly talkative one morning. I like it when she "talks" so I was just being silly anyway, but I didn't realize I told her that until maybe an hour later.

Oh god I constantly tell my wife’s cat to STFU but perhaps now I should explain how many thousands of times etc LOL

 

[Pickle Built]

4 tags dedicated to calling him fat still gets me.

View attachment 5381990

Five counting unfit father

 

[Alabama Gamer]

Five counting unfit father

I think that characterization is unfair. To be fit can mean to be suited to a purpose, and Patrick is certainly suited to the purpose of being fat and stupid on Twitter.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

In our household we’ve talked about making conversational Patposting a points game. Pativerse phrases would have different points values on a scale from .5 to three. “No, child” would be worth .5 point, “Wrong in every last delusional detail as always, stalker” two points, “Wrong thrice more, stalker” used correctly would be worth three, etc. Bungle the wording and lose three points for every offense. Because there’s nothing worse than someone fucking up the quotes (which happens a lot on this thread and should net a one-day thread ban).

 

[AirdropShitposts]

I really fucking hate this guy

That's not only not ADHD, which is not some kind of precognition superpower, but Rick doesn't even understand sentences after they're finished.

edit: To be more clear, this is not ADHD it's just normal human brains working with language. You may have heard about this established knowledge in all the AI shit which is based around this same predictive model. You may also recall that meme from a few years ago where all the words are spelled wrong but you can understand the sentence. Language, as a concept, is based on known rules and patterns. Only a fat idiot would think this is a superpower of some kind.

 

[Maude Snew]

That's not only not ADHD, which is not some kind of precognition superpower, but Rick doesn't even understand sentences after they're finished.

edit: To be more clear, this is not ADHD it's just normal human brains working with language. You may have heard about this established knowledge in all the AI shit which is based around this same predictive model. You may also recall that meme from a few years ago where all the words are spelled wrong but you can understand the sentence. Language, as a concept, is based on known rules and patterns. Only a fat idiot would think this is a superpower of some kind.

You have seen excerpts from his books, you know that the proper use of language is a power way beyond him, much like walking up some stairs without having to take rests every other step or building his fence the right way around.

 

[FinnSven]

Has anyone photoshopped this famous hoax picture to feature Fatrick eating a black child yet?

 

[Summer of George]

By his own admission, Pat isn't passionate about any story he writes since the only thing he is passionate about is the fantasy of being a successful published author. That's why his entire ego is wrapped up in his published author and political consultant shtick. That includes his SFWA membership, hence why he fervently defends them from any who might slander their name or that of their fine members like Walter Breen or Ed Kramer. What he writes is just a means to an end, and he presumably writes science fiction instead of any other genre because he watched lots of Star Trek re-runs. There is no passion in the worlds he creates, no indication in his prose he's enjoying the craft and challenge of writing, he is writing because it will make him famous.

I remember reading about how he longed to be let into the hallowed halls of the SFWA. Like, for a long time, he couldn't get in because he didn't meet their membership standards. (Number of books published? Amount of money made? Pre-pubescent body count? Whatever the metrics are.) Eventually they let him in just to shut up his persistent oinking.

It must be earlier on this thread since I don't see it on apostlegate.net or payquasi.lol. Not sure what the best search terms would be to find it, though.

 

[bile demon]

Some amazing AI-generated pics made by the funsters over at OnA.

 

[Spunt]

Bungle the wording and lose three points for every offense. Because there’s nothing worse than someone fucking up the quotes (which happens a lot on this thread and should net a one-day thread ban).

No child, we do not mis-quote Pat, those are simply your delusions again. Further shitposting constitutes felony record-correcTing.

Enjoy Prison.

 

[FinnSven]

I remember reading about how he longed to be let into the hallowed halls of the SFWA. Like, for a long time, he couldn't get in because he didn't meet their membership standards. (Number of books published? Amount of money made? Pre-pubescent body count? Whatever the metrics are.) Eventually they let him in just to shut up his persistent oinking.

It must be earlier on this thread since I don't see it on apostlegate.net or payquasi.lol. Not sure what the best search terms would be to find it, though.

I would imagine he was booted out after costing them 100K in retarded lawsuits.

On a semi related note, he is going to have to find some kind of alternative employment sooner or later.

If he goes back to selling insurance, how long before the pests find out, book him for bogus sales appointments, and he ends up rage quitting?

 

[Alabama Gamer]

I had a weird epiphany while listening to the Josiah Munoz tapes. Something the noted science fiction author and fat person Patrick S. Tomlinson has always maintained is that the second, better forum cannot just be ignored because they will escalate their activities to provoke a response. Well, what if he actually believes that? It would go a long way to explaining his obsessive engagement with them. In his adipose-laden brain, deliberately making himself an easy target (which he already is on account of being so large) would discourage them going further and doing more obnoxious things for attention.

This isn't very likely, if only because he is too stupid to even pull off an "I was only pretending to be retarded" gambit, but it's worthy of a thunk.

 

[FinnSven]

I had a weird epiphany while listening to the Josiah Munoz tapes. Something the noted science fiction author and fat person Patrick S. Tomlinson has always maintained is that the second, better forum cannot just be ignored because they will escalate their activities to provoke a response. Well, what if he actually believes that? It would go a long way to explaining his obsessive engagement with them. In his adipose-laden brain, deliberately making himself an easy target (which he already is on account of being so large) would discourage them going further and doing more obnoxious things for attention.

This isn't very likely, if only because he is too stupid to even pull off an "I was only pretending to be retarded" gambit, but it's worthy of a thunk.

I thought the general consensus was that he really thinks that responding to them is an effective deterrent strategy?

As in he is that Dunning Kruger.

Spoiler: Mild PL

I know it is curious in some regard as he plainly is smarter than the average hopeless retard, but he really is on the low side of average at best.

Anecdotally, I have met families who are generally smart and accomplished people, but have a sibling who is not clinically retarded or developmentally different , yet is clearly the dumb one.
The happier ones just find a trade in manual labor and become the family’s handyman, hairdresser, gardener or chef. (Or priest in some cases)

The angrier ones usually get in trouble with the law, drugs or of course both.

Occasionally though, like my own stepdaughter, they convince themselves that due to their capacity to understand some stuff, they assume they are as smart as their relatives and become an embarrassing mess.

Fatrick is almost certainly the last sort. Mama Raven and Papa Bozo should have encouraged him to be a butcher and sausage maker.

Then Fatrick Tomlinson’s artisanal delicatessen would be a happy place, where he could entertain regulars with daily coffee, beers and finely minced very dark salamis and cured cuts.

In this alternative reality, perhaps even Norm, Opie and Anthony, Dan Mullen and others would pop in for a plate of pastrami and a pleasant exchange of banter with the jolly meat vendor.

The only swatings which would happen would be jealous caterers seeking his recipes.