Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Chef Red Pill]

Lolcows: (in no particular order)
- have a very loose understanding of reality
- possess a mixture of narcissism and incompetence that make them prone to make mistakes that they will never learn from (or apologize for)
- are oblivious as to why people laugh at them (they don't find it funny)
- demonize anyone who doesn't like them (unaware that they could be unlikable)
- repeated claims that haters are stupid or jealous
- have an extremely small social circle (if any)
- driven by a need for attention (positive or negative)
- arrogant and stubborn liars prone to hypocrisy
- get angry over trivial things and their attempts at damage control are laughable
- are lazy and waste money on ridiculous things
- prone to oversharing under the pretense of "honesty" and are open about their degenerate interests and fetishes even though their identities are public
- have obscure/made-up physical/mental disorders that are usually self-diagnosed
- tend to be unemployed
- usually reads their own thread

"No, stalker. I do not possess literally every single character trait on this list. Enjoy prison."

 

[feral cat #6385]

Yes: His own streams, where he’s slamming bourbon until after 5 or 6AM and says he needs to take a 60 - 90 minute “nap” before he drives his kids around. Search the thread if you want specific examples, they’ve all been posted here.

He shouldn't stop. He should just keep drinking. It's probably more dangerous having him drive hung over. Drunk driving is a skill. The more you do it the better you get at it.

Unironically Sally has all the 'assets' needed to surpass nick. She could go right into the boomer coomer market and make bank. She just needs to stay consistent and start networking with other 'conservative' shows.

But the standup has the potential to really embarrass the posters on Kiwi Farms if he actually becomes a full-time comedian. As much as I wish I could pretend that the standup was bad, and I did consider pretending that it wasn't hilarious like other people did on the thread, it's really clear to anyone who watches it that he is a natural talent and you just look foolish for pretending otherwise. All you need is that tiny clip Riley posted to know he's got it.

We will be so owned if he becomes a full-time comedian. I don't know how we would get over it if Nick did more comedy shows and got even more famous. Telling jokes about the Farms, Josh, Eric July which of course everyone knows about and will get. He would be out there living the life while we cope and seethe. Kiwibros. I don't feel so good.

 

[Captain Manning]

Somehow more heretical than a mormon. Truly awe-inspiring.

Well, as I understand, Mormons believe Jesus had some sort of divinity but is like rank below God. They got some other weird beliefs on top of that. It may or may not be Christianity, but it's arguably closer to Christianity than Nick's declaration that Jesus was just a man. Hell, even Muslims believe Jesus was more than just an ordinary man.

Look, I don't really GAF if Nick is Christian or not. This is America, and we have freedom of religion. He can be whatever the fuck he wants. Including an atheist. I don't want to seem like I'm peaching here, or suggest that Nick is a lolcow because he's not Christian. There's people in this thread who are criticizing him and aren't Christian either. His views of Christianity is just one of his many lolcow traits.

But if he keeps insisting he's Christian, and that he's raising his kid's Christian, I'm gonna mock him for it. He rejected the most basic bitch tenant of Christianity based upon what he said. He's a snake oil salesman trying to bend everybody to his own warped worldview.

I can only postulate that Nick has basically given up trying to have a conservative audience at this point, and is leaning heavily on the lolbertarian weirdos or anybody willing to read his unfunny screeching on Twitter. He's floundering.

Another thing is that Eric July is Christian, and that could have ramifications on whether people wanna take Nick's side against him.

 

[TheLastJoestar]

See a thread I posted yesterday. Short answer, the Balldo.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/is-there-a-lolcow-term-equivalent-to-jumping-the-shark.174574/

There's a prequel to before the balldo.

I don't remember which stream but this was about a year or 2 ago when Nick was warning people that everyone they look up to even if it's a really sharp professor is just a "Dummy" with cosmopolitan opinions outside of their field of study when you sit down and talk with them over beer - including himself. Like he had to stress it about himself because he was signaling his incoming descent.

Does anybody remember which stream that was?

 

[Scotched up Scott]

rekieta is representing dick, Vito, and Riley is really compelling to me.

It is to me too. As this clown seems to fuck up almost every case he’s near. Man fucked Vic and he will fuck dick and friends as well. Love to see it.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

The issue for me, and I'm going to guess for a lot of people, is not whether Nick is Christian or TradCath or whatever. Null has touched on this as well- it's that Nick represented that someone could live "a normal life" and be an upstanding person, while still doing the streamer stuff. That he could be a good role model while succeeding.

But it's clear Nick either never held those values, or they were not strong values as he has abandoned them. Which is worse, a fall from grace, or feigning virtue?

I think a lot of people wouldn't care if he was agnostic (or live as Christ but not believe in, heck Buddhist, or whatever), if he lived a moral life. He's clearly not a moral person (much less a man), and he cannot even remain consistent on no-brainer beliefs he held (or at least professed to believe) two years ago. The only belief Nick clings to today is his own inflated sense of self-importance. Even that may fade as the booze destroys him.

 

[Harm]

Nick believes Jesus was alive and real, but not truly the Son of God, so does that mean he believes Jesus was a fraud who lied about being the Son of God?

Does he believe the claims of his Divinity were invented by others after his death and Jesus never claimed to be the Son of God?

He admits he "un-teaches" his children what they learn in Church, he doesn't believe in the Divinity of Christ, he doesn't uphold the tenets in his life or observe the seasonal celebrations beyond the contemporary consumerist bullshit like Christmas, he advocates openly for sinful conduct... it feels like he's a "Christian" in the same way Chris Chan is a "woman." Because he says so.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Well, as I understand, Mormons believe Jesus had some sort of divinity but is like rank below God. They got some other weird beliefs on top of that.

They believe the trinity are truly separate entities, Jesus has divinity but isn't God, iirc to their beliefs. Then they have a bunch of shit on top of it in their Bible DLC.

It really doesn't matter if Nickyboi is a Christian or not in and of itself. I agree. It's the hypocrisy / pussyfooting. Just come out and be an atheist fag "I don't believe but, like, he taught good shit bro." That's cool, faggy but cool. Just don't pretend, be honest.

I see why he admires Dick. The west coast is fake af and, clearly, so is Nick. He yearns to be a west coast nigger, rawdogging til midnight and taking no responsibility. Instead, he ended up a midwest father and family man and he's sick of it.

 

[Captain Manning]

Instead, he ended up a midwest father and family man and he's sick of it.

Funny you should say that.

I didn't see this posted here yet, and there wasn't an archive before I just made one.

Archive

That's a hell of a thing for a father of five to say. Abandoning your kids is now "based"?

Though I guess it is on-brand if he still wants to still convince everybody that he's basically black.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

I can only postulate that Nick has basically given up trying to have a conservative audience at this point, and is leaning heavily on the lolbertarian weirdos or anybody willing to read his unfunny screeching on Twitter. He's floundering.

I have no idea what he's leaning on. I don't think he's leaning on anything. I think he's literally "floundering" in the sense of doing things randomly with no thought behind it. Though I think you're right, any fans that are still there are the dumbest lolbertarians on the Internet. The takes that come out of the Locals chat are insanely terrible.

A year ago he seemed to be trying to pivoting to the wine moms. Elissa's comment section a year ago used to be filled with wine mom types defending Rekieta. That isn't happening now. The wine moms came from the Depp trial and likely wanted other trial/true crime coverage.The trials tend to start in the morning and conflict with him drinking until 4-6 in the morning, so they're out.

I think a lot of people wouldn't care if he was agnostic (or live as Christ but not believe in, heck Buddhist, or whatever), if he lived a moral life. He's clearly not a moral person (much less a man), and he cannot even remain consistent on no-brainer beliefs he held (or at least professed to believe) two years ago.

I have said this before but I suspect the big personal problem last year was him thinking he was a big shot celebrity and could get away with admitting to his extended family that he was pretending about his beliefs for their benefit.

The only belief Nick clings to today is his own inflated sense of self-importance. Even that may fade as the booze destroys him.

We've seen this with Ralph. It will extend long beyond the point where it becomes comical.

 

[Sneed S. McSneedensen]

Funny you should say that.

I didn't see this posted here yet, and there wasn't an archive before I just made one.

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Archive

That's a hell of a thing for a father of five to say. Abandoning your kids is now "based"?

Though I guess it is on-brand if he still wants to still convince everybody that he's basically black.

I would be so epically owned if Nick publicly abandoned his family and pursued a career in cuckold pornography.

 

[zer0d4wn]

Null recently went over this in a MATI segment about PornHub and CSAM. Essentially, you can have "hashed" versions of the images where it's been distorted such that people wouldn't visually discern it as CSAM anymore, but the theoretical tool would still be able to detect when that image has been uploaded again by detecting similar images. I may be fudging some technical nuances, but that's the "explain it like I'm stupid" rundown.

Rekieta is seemingly implying that you'd have to store the CSAM itself in a capacity where the person deploying this tool could then consume this CSAM under the guise of preventing the distribution of such materials.

That's not really what hashing is. Basically you take an image and run it through an algorithm like SHA256. This spits out a hash of that image that cannot be reversed back into the original. It'll look something like "B94D27B9934D3E08A52E52D7DA7DABFAC484EFE37A5380EE9088F7ACE2EFCDE9". Anytime an image gets uploaded it's run through this algorithm and it's checked against a list of known bad hashes (for CSAM images). At no point are you storing CSAM images nor can you generate them from the hashes. It's literally just a unique string that will always be generated when that same image is run through that same algorithm.

 

[Neetorino]

I'm just surprised he managed to actually stand up and remain upright for that long. Although he might have fallen down I didn't make it through all of it, it was that boring. Weird how I used to be able to listen to him for hours and hours and now all I can stand are about ten minutes.

I felt this hard when doing the transcript. I mentioned I was doing it to my girlfriend while the file was downloading and I told her I expected it to take maybe 2 hours tops, in reality it took roughly 6. I've listened to Rekieta enough for long stretches to not have to take too many passes on any one scene to get it down. Outside of the noise from the bar making some sentences tricky to get right, I vastly underestimated how unfunny Nick had become. Makes me genuinely wonder if he's always been that dreadful to listen to, and the topics/panel were interesting enough plus lockdown boredom made it easier, or if his humor has simply devolved. Did the Rumble freedom reduce his filter to the point that his only capacity for jokes anymore is Racism Bits since they're soooo edgy and edgy = funny?

Agreed. I skimmed one of her Rumble VODs and it's still pretty barebones but servicable. If she had someone producing her show with her, like throwing together stream overlays, custom transitions, feeding her content to keep her talking, tossing visual aides on screen, and so on then she could easily be a top right-wing grifter. Most of these white bitches peddling right wing rhetoric just need a content guru like Bruce Rivers' son to tie it all together.

You know the funniest part of that? She could absolutely contact the people Nick has worked with (see: "used") for those things since they're surely current/former community members. She's paying for Locals and not using the community aspect to get free/paid labor from the fanclub, who would be way more willing since she's such a prominent member. She could go from a barnacle on the balldo to a proper media entity all within the balldosphere, maybe even get cohost types for streams from there too. And with how many other smaller YouTubers are in that Locals the path to getting on with one or more of them is high.
Edit: CGoody is Nick's producer essentially right? Or is it Ryan who has the ability to fuck with the streamyard when Nick walks away? Either way I'm sure one of them would be willing to do some paid work for Sally.

Maybe Dax was the real Sonichu demon

Dax is the conduit through which the Sonichu demon flows. Its influence is spread to Ralph, to Nick, to Riley, not Vito since he was always a nonce, causing all of them to start acting like absolute spergs until they are drained. Ralph got milked for all he was worth, then when the well dried up it moved on to Nick. And if you think about it, during the Ralph era, Dax would be on Ralph's show frequently just like he has been with Nick now. When's the last time Dax was on the Killstream? How long until he stops going on Lawsplaining? Curious.

Funny you should say that.

I didn't see this posted here yet, and there wasn't an archive before I just made one.

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Archive

That's a hell of a thing for a father of five to say. Abandoning your kids is now "based"?

Though I guess it is on-brand if he still wants to still convince everybody that he's basically black.

Nah I'll be more generous than he deserves and say this is just the Racism Bit in action. Voyager is based (Redpilled) for making a black character be a deadbeat dad, just like in real life!

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Maybe Dax was the real Sonichu demon

Maybe Booze is the real Sonichu Demon.

 

[Xhrash]

People recognize the pillstream & the gunt picture as Ralph's downfall. I was wondering what would be considered Nick's equivalent to that. I don't think nick has hit Miami trip or faith arc bad. But who knows.

The Gunt picture has quite a few similarities to the Balldo.

When the Gunt picture was taken, at the time it only caused mild mockery and horrifying ratings from a few people. Ralph still had goodwill left even though people were a bit wary about his increasing alcoholism that was ruining shows, and getting into fights with chat. If I remember correctly (bear with me, as I wasn't particularly following Ralph on his post-Knoxville adventures out of disappointment for the way he was acting), at some point, people started spamming that gunt picture in his stream chat, causing Ralph to react negatively, further encouraging the trolls. Even then, people were on Ralph's side when he had a spat against Xander later that month, but it was all downhill from here. Ralph would react poorly to criticism on the thread, causing more people to turn against him, especially after the disasters that happened shortly after. The Miami trip, the botched Pedo Hunter stream, and of course the Pillstream.

With Nick, the Balldo worked in the same way. It was yet another point of concern (though a particularly egregious one) that disappointed people, but the thread was still pro-Nick. The AssBottle pic, an even more egregious hit against his "trad Christian father" persona, is what actually rocked the boat, with more and more people turning their backs on Nick as he started reacting negatively to the resulting criticism, alienating old fans, and starting to rewrite history. His reactions also brought out greatest hits such as "You are all prudes.", "I was always like this" and This was never a law channel." and of course doing a 180 on his stance on the Karen Farms. But he still loved everyone and hoped for the best of us.

With their downfall well underway, both the Gunt and the Balldo both became a retroactive symbol of their downfall for being both funny and perfectly encapsulating how they fucked up. The former for his health and reacting poorly to the picture, the latter for his degeneracy.

As for Pillstream moments, it's true Nick didn't hit Miami levels YET. Nick's closest one has been his infamous 10 minute hot tub stream where he heavily slurred more than ever before while having visibly twitchy eyes from all of the alcohol he consumed. However, that didn't *quite* have the same effect as the Pillstream since it was so short and it didn't have tech issues/muted audio or attempted interventions live on air. Even though it's technically less comparable to a Pillstream, I'd argue the SIX HOUR endurance match of Nick drunkenly seething about Eric July's 10 MINUTE video is a more infamous moment. What didn't do him any favors is that it followed the equally infamous Nick vs July stream where he poorly pretended to be on July's side while twisting his words, sucking on Juju's cow tits and going on and on on hypotheticals that never materialized or didn't make any sense (ie: everything involving shooting Riley or the IRS).

 

[Captain Manning]

I have said this before but I suspect the big personal problem last year was him thinking he was a big shot celebrity and could get away with admitting to his extended family that he was pretending about his beliefs for their benefit.

I dunno about his family, but I think he genuinely thought if he went "mask off" people would still like him. Like there was something innate within him that made him successful, and the content he covered was trivial.

This was a bad miscalculation on his part.

People liked him mainly because of the content he covered, and he put up a conservative front that resonated with people sick and tired of most streamers being degenerate weirdos. Without either of those, his content is shit, and he is shit.

I would be so epically owned if Nick publicly abandoned his family and pursued a career in cuckold pornography.

The rate it's going, I think it'll either end in that, or Kaya might have enough of shit, file for divoce, and move for custody of the kids.

I know Kayla isn't perfect, but I can't help but think (maybe "hope" is the better word), that they'd all be better off without him.

Nah I'll be more generous than he deserves and say this is just the Racism Bit in action. Voyager is based (Redpilled) for making a black character be a deadbeat dad, just like in real life!

That could be true, but I think a conservative person would castigate the show and character for that.

But, yeah, Nick's not playing conservative anymore, so I don't know why I'm shocked. His tweets these days are just awful and unfunny.

 

[Smashed & Slamed]

Nick believes Jesus was alive and real, but not truly the Son of God, so does that mean he believes Jesus was a fraud who lied about being the Son of God?

This discussion has been had before. And I think we're going a bit too in the weeds when the best explanation is that Nick is as much a practicing Christian as he is a practicing lawyer.

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

"There are. NIGGERS. in my neighborhood." he typed in the shower, "where. I grew up in. I LOVE NIGGERS." he finished the message. The hot water felt good playing around his balldoed testicles. He checked his phone again, Null had left him on 'read'. He licked the empty bottle of liqueur and drove it home with a sigh. "You just don't get people, Null" he thought. 'Sweet Dreams are Made of These' reverberated the entire misty bathroom, making him clench to the rhythm. He exited the shower naked and dripping, the $200 bourbon circulating through his emaciated, non-practicing veins, flooding him with an often felt desire for minorities after dark.
"With a Mustang, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.

 

[Gorton Colu]

They believe the trinity are truly separate entities, Jesus has divinity but isn't God, iirc to their beliefs. Then they have a bunch of shit on top of it in their Bible DLC.

It really doesn't matter if Nickyboi is a Christian or not in and of itself. I agree. It's the hypocrisy / pussyfooting. Just come out and be an atheist fag "I don't believe but, like, he taught good shit bro." That's cool, faggy but cool. Just don't pretend, be honest.

I see why he admires Dick. The west coast is fake af and, clearly, so is Nick. He yearns to be a west coast nigger, rawdogging til midnight and taking no responsibility. Instead, he ended up a midwest father and family man and he's sick of it.

Mormons are better classified as henotheists as were early Christians. Jesus is the God of this world. Any worship of God the father is through Jesus. Muslims are truly monotheists where most Christian denominations are only through strict trinitarianism that was decided at Nicea

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Was he ever clever? I seem to remember him being fairly one note, just calling people fat, whether they are or not. Granted, I was never a twitter fag so maybe I missed out.

He was what people (self included) wanted to hear. His image as a relatively NORMAL person on thr internet was a panacea for all doubts for a long time.

Now that image is gone and so is his unearned value.

Does he even consider himself Christian anymore if he ever did?

I think he kinda is on the religion issue, but... again... the problem is, if we take him at his word, he's inadvertently (or perhaps even intentionally) disqualified himself as a Christian.

Like, no joke, I'm pretty sure "Jesus is the son of God" is like General Order #1 for all Christians. At least that's what I was told being brought up as one. A lot of other things are negotiable to varrying degrees because there's so many different Christian denominations that disagree on what might be called minutia, but not that point.

I know it's fun to explore how non-Christian he's acting, but the inquiry as to whether he's Christian basically ends with what he said about Jesus. Everything else is just demonstrative of how immoral and vile he's become as a person in general.

Well, as I understand, Mormons believe Jesus had some sort of divinity but is like rank below God. They got some other weird beliefs on top of that. It may or may not be Christianity, but it's arguably closer to Christianity than Nick's declaration that Jesus was just a man. Hell, even Muslims believe Jesus was more than just an ordinary man.

Look, I don't really GAF if Nick is Christian or not. This is America, and we have freedom of religion. He can be whatever the fuck he wants. Including an atheist. I don't want to seem like I'm peaching here, or suggest that Nick is a lolcow because he's not Christian. There's people in this thread who are criticizing him and aren't Christian either. His views of Christianity is just one of his many lolcow traits.

But if he keeps insisting he's Christian, and that he's raising his kid's Christian, I'm gonna mock him for it. He rejected the most basic bitch tenant of Christianity based upon what he said. He's a snake oil salesman trying to bend everybody to his own warped worldview.

I can only postulate that Nick has basically given up trying to have a conservative audience at this point, and is leaning heavily on the lolbertarian weirdos or anybody willing to read his unfunny screeching on Twitter. He's floundering.

Another thing is that Eric July is Christian, and that could have ramifications on whether people wanna take Nick's side against him.

He calls himself a 'bad Christian' as if that absolved him of any judgement. He is definitely pretending.

Yes, Mormons are weird, but mostly nice.

Finally, I find it funny that Nick is so disparaging of the old boomer conservative tack of marketing themselves as 'God, Family, and Country' traditionalists. That was largely his own brand.