Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Butwhythough2]

This man has been so broken that he is now a parody of a flanderized version of himself. To a point that his response can be predicted before he tweets or types to a stalker child. Maybe he was always this way. Maybe no one would have found out about his eccentric behavior if he never tweeted out that he found Norm Macdonald unfunny. Just think of the laughs lost if Fatrick would have taken the other road, or to his dismay didn't have to have the last word, or act tough on the Internet.

 

[Maude Snew]

He's clearly not literally retarded, like can't-tie-your-own-shoes retarded

Hard to say, he couldn't do that anyway since he's too fat to reach his feet.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

also good work on memorizing every one of pat's xeets patman

With great autism comes great responsibility.

 

[Divine right to rule]

He seems to have been reasonably successful at selling insurance. Somehow.

He allegedly still receives residuals.

I can totally see that. His absolute, narcissistic confidence coupled with being very forceful and extremely stubborn might work for a slimy job like that.

Can't you see this guy bullying people who have difficulties saying "no" until they give up and take the insurance?

Pat probably childed several sweet old ladies into submission.

"Do not redeem, child."

"You better take that insurance or you can enjoy debtor's prison."

"This insurance packet will fortify the next elecions against the Russian-Israeli-Hamas-Chinese-Trumpist Nazifascists. You are not a traitor, are you mam?"

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

I can totally see that. His absolute, narcissistic confidence coupled with being very forceful and extremely stubborn might work for a slimy job like that.

Can't you see this guy bullying people who have difficulties saying "no" until they give up and take the insurance?

Pat probably childed several sweet old ladies into submission.

"Do not redeem, child."

"You better take that insurance or you can enjoy debtor's prison."

"This insurance packet will fortify the next elecions against the Russian-Israeli-Hamas-Chinese-Trumpist Nazifascists. You are not a traitor, are you mam?"

It was his ex-in-laws' company he worked for so I'm sure they gave the low hanging fruit to the low IQ fruit they thought their daughter would be stuck with forever.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

It was his ex-in-laws' company he worked for so I'm sure they gave the low hanging fruit to the low IQ fruit they thought their daughter would be stuck with forever.

This sounds like he was working at the cracker factory

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Selling insurance is not difficult FWIW. Not everyone who does it is a moron, but it doesn’t take any great expertise. Hell, your secretary even does all the tedious parts.

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

This sounds like he was working at the cracker factory

"The Cracker Factory" is the neighborhood nickname for Niki's uterus.

 

[grapeshark77]

"cuming"



bonus:

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Anyone who types “my dude” on the internet should be neutralized permanently.

 

[DYLAN ‘DIELAWN’ VOLK]

i remember ahsoka being a major character back in the old clone wars animated show fifteen years ago, and from my experience that was only ever watched by guys
girls would sometimes watch the main movie releases, but all the other star wars content (video games, comics, books etc) were a total sausage party in terms of fanbase
but again, i dont know if that's still the case with all these new disney star wars movies and shows that are coming out currently. what little i see still gives me the impression that the fanbase is mostly neckbeards, with slightly more soy and trannies in the mix now than before, but i don't know if my impression is accurate

I loved the movies, books, and games and used to know several other girls who felt the same/got into it cuz I was into it. The cheesy romance/adventure storylines of the original six movies are pretty universally appealing imo. Plenty of the guys in the movies are hot, there are cute little bear monsters, literal Muppets, pretty princesses, political problems, awesome outfits, fucking frog people and (before she was Rosario Dawson) I loved Ahsoka. Her voice actress from the original Clone Wars even founded a nerdy fashion line called Her Universe that was fun before it became exclusively for deathfhats over forty and Disney adults. I can even stomach some of the earlier Vader comics because I like his character arc and the tragic pairing of him and Padmé so much.

A homunculus like Pepperoni Rick just can't fathom that women are people, and that back when he gave a shit George Lucas was doing basic King Arthur style shit except IN SPACE. Timeless storytelling couldn't possibly appeal to dumb broads unless all the chicks have shaved heads and Adam Driver has his pants pulled up to his nipples while they scream about current year. As far as the fanbase goes, I agree with Helvetia that the fandom has always been kind of gross and condescending but that's par for the course in any male dominated nerd hobby. The women usually either assimilate and get called picks mes or they self segregate. That polite segregation and the social stigma associated with being/not being a feminine caricature is why we're stuck with Mary Sue heroines written by troons and Tomlinsons who don't even understand midichlorians.

 

[FinnSven]

Anyone who types “my dude” on the internet should be neutralized permanently.

There are many reasons as to why prisons should be set up with drop in execution centers.

This is among the top five.

 

[LGHDR+]

There are many reasons as to why prisons should be set up with drop in execution centers.

This is among the top five.

Huh. This would, in a way, make me enjoy prison. I would definitely subscribe to the streaming service.

 

[Maude Snew]

In honor of spooky day an attempt was made.

Spoiler: original

 

[LGHDR+]

In honor of spooky day an attempt was made.
View attachment 5455336

Spoiler: original

View attachment 5455337

9/10, excellent work but pumpkin is too thin

 

[RollingRock2]

Enjoy compost, stalker

 

[Mörkö]

This one reads exactly like a line one of his fat idiot characters (from one of his fat idiot books) would say. Also made me realize that a lot of the dialogue in his books reads like characters tweeting at each other.

Nothing says Russian culture like bad film adaptions of Western works from the Soviet era.

You joke, but this is true.

 

[Broadside]

View attachment 5454023

Yeah of course Pat only starts to talk about Dune around the time movie came out. We've already established he hasn't read it.
This is the guy who couldn't get his head around numbers being represented by letters and got a D- in Algebra, I somehow don't think he's going to be giving a nuanced take on Dune anytime soon, beyond the midwit "it's about muh charismatic leaders!" take.

 

[Judge Holden]

In honor of spooky day an attempt was made.
View attachment 5455336

Spoiler: original

View attachment 5455337

0/10, needs a miserable looking hollowed out squash getting farted into by an eggplant next to it

 

[Something Awful]

Pat claims a ~mysterious entity~ paid his debt.



...so yeah, it was probably his mother-in-law.

I was also shocked to stumble upon this tweet where he actually admits he owes $24k... sandwiched between his usual "never owed a thing in my life" shit, of course.