Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

Hey now, Culver's is mana from Heaven. If I lived in range of one, I would be so much fatter.

But yeah, leaving trash on the counter, in addition to all that clutter. People who genuinely like to cook, don't have counters that look like this.

I’ve never been to impressed by their stuff, but that bag along with the $2000 monthly snack fund makes me assume Rekieta’s kids and Our Wife don’t have good diets.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

In the middle of the 30 minute rant there was another tidbit that dropped. Nick confirmed that he has had disagreements with his wife over his rampant spending, saying:

"I will spend it, I will go on vacations, I will buy cars, I will buy things. I'll be like, 'Let's go buy art.'

She's like, 'Can we afford it?'

'Course we can girl, don't worry about it.'

She's like 'But, what about our kids?'

Like, our kids are fine. She's always thinking about someone else. She's always, to her own detriment."

View attachment 5513931

EDIT: At the end of the clip he says how happy he is to help friends and family out financially because it makes Kayla happy, if you want an idea of how these disagreements go.

I remember him saying that she asks for permission for buying anything. Even stuff that costed 50 dollars.

I'm not sure if that's her own personality or that's something he trained into her. Wouldn't put it past him, knowing how he talks about his wife.

Soter, his old DISCORD janny, does at the least.

He has mentioned that some of the secondary school students knew about his channel, so their parents being exposed is not a stretch.

I dunno, soter is a nick bootlicker. Wouldn't be surprised if nick berated his wife right next to soter, soter would start throwing rocks at her umprompted.

 

[Captain Manning]

"I will spend it, I will go on vacations, I will buy cars, I will buy things. I'll be like, 'Let's go buy art.'

She's like, 'Can we afford it?'

'Course we can girl, don't worry about it.'

She's like 'But, what about our kids?'

Like, our kids are fine. She's always thinking about someone else. She's always, to her own detriment."

Fuckin' hell.

Who brushes aside their children as "other people"? Those are his kids. Individuals he and Kayla have a legal and moral responsibility to. Kayla would be in the wrong if she wasn't thinking about them.

Just when you think he can't become any more unlikable...

 

[Swole McPole]

As time goes on it’s more and more clear he lied about liking to cook.

Not at all.

There's nothing better that Nick likes than to cook up a nice shot of dope. Maybe a speedball if he's feeling ambitious?

It's all about CONTEXT, my nigga!
Depending on who happens to be in the bedroom, riding his baby,
He be in the kitchen cooking pies for his baby.

He's like "Hey, what's up? Hello."
Seen the bottle in your ass as soon as you came in the door,
Rekieta wants to chill, got a sack for you to roll,
Two niggas from Hedonism introduced me to the stove,
Showed me how to whip it, now I'm remix it for low,
I'm their Trap Queen, strapping on the Balldo
I be adding latex see how many rings can go,
We just set a goal, talking matching Balldos,
I make $100 on YouTube, and on Rumble even mo',
Then I slide over to locals watch me work the damn pole,
See the leathery wine moms as they share their slack hole,
KiwiFarmers hatin', we just call them fans though,
In love with the cucking, I ain't never lettin' go.

I be licking tips and sticking bottles in my hole,
Reki Boy Nicky eating dogshit that's fo' sho',
Niggas run into my house, and then they fuck my ho,
Local Goys or nothin', Lo-lo-local Goys or nothin...

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Just when you think he can't become any more unlikable...

What’s astonishing is that he always speaks at length about their finances as if there hasn’t been a trust fund sitting there for him to plunder at whim for his entire adulthood.

Does he think this shit is relatable? Has he forgotten that everyone already knows he’s a trust fund kid? Are his cognitive impairments caused by the alcohol or that hereditary dementia DNA he referenced?

So many questions, so few reasonable explanations.

 

[Harm]

I'll be like, 'Let's go buy art.'

Very cool Nick, and then afterwards you two can sync your womanly flows and watch the new Taylor Swift film together. What a flaming faggot.

I don't have any problem with buying art, but who the fuck spontaneously says "hey, let's go buy artwork" without wiping a stranger's cum off their chin afterwards? He makes it sound like a regular occurrence too; this must be right before they go to the gay bar to get hit on by strangers all night long.

 

[No Scope]

Just when you think he can't become any more unlikable...

When Nick started down the path of degeneracy I didn't care too much for it as I could find other content to consume. However, his behavior when commenting on certain topics became so appalling that I hoped Karma would step in and crush him like a bug right then and there. The God awful things he would say like asking Rittenhouse how it felt to kill someone or the Maya diaper fetish joke. Now that we know he is adjacent to p3dophiles, he should take his place on the wall. Because there is no redemption arc for those who support the exploitation/hurt children.

I predict his demise will come from being a lolcow at 80% and the FAFO at 20%. I pray that if he were to crash his Mustang while drunk, there would be no collateral damage to another individual who was just trying to get to work on time.

 

[TherapyMan]

What’s astonishing is that he always speaks at length about their finances as if there hasn’t been a trust fund sitting there for him to plunder at whim for his entire adulthood.

I would hazard a guess that Grandma and Grandpa had the foresight to set up what’s called a “Spendthrift Trust” which provides a limitation on how much funds can be disbursed and when funds may be distributed.

This sort of things impose conditions on receiving money so unworthy inheritors like Nick can’t just blow the entire principal of the fund in one go by being extremely financially irresponsible, permit portions of the fund to be invested to defeat devaluation from inflation, and generally to encourage inheritors to develop skills that allow them to be productive members of society, such as financing education.

So when Nick bitches about financials, I suspect he’s pissy he can only access a limited payout monthly—which can’t cover all his immense expenses he wants to make. A tugboat, if you will.

 

[Pelican Bones]

In the middle of the 30 minute rant there was another tidbit that dropped. Nick confirmed that he has had disagreements with his wife over his rampant spending, saying:

"I will spend it, I will go on vacations, I will buy cars, I will buy things. I'll be like, 'Let's go buy art.'

She's like, 'Can we afford it?'

'Course we can girl, don't worry about it.'

She's like 'But, what about our kids?'

I know ol' wet brain here can't keep his stories straight, but anytime the topic comes up of Our Wife leaving him his go-to cope is that she spends all of his money and you can't afford her. Now that he's drank those memories out of his head the new story is that she can't control  his spending.

All this just to try to flex to his paypigs how much money he has.

Lol

 

[RotPockets]

Not at all.

There's nothing better that Nick likes than to cook up a nice shot of dope. Maybe a speedball if he's feeling ambitious?

It's all about CONTEXT, my nigga!
Depending on who happens to be in the bedroom, riding his baby,
He be in the kitchen cooking pies.

He's like "Hey, what's up? Hello."
Seen the bottle in your ass as soon as you came in the door,
Rekieta wants to chill, got a sack for you to roll,
Two niggas from Hedonism introduced me to the stove,
Showed me how to whip it, now I'm remix it for low,
I'm their Trap Queen, strapping on the Balldo
I be adding latex see how many rings can go,
We just set a goal, talking watching Balldos,
I make $100 on YouTube, and on Rumble even mo',
Then I slide over to locals watch me work the damn pole,
See the leathery wine moms as they share their slack hole,
KiwiFarmers hatin', we just call them fans though,
In love with the cucking, I ain't never lettin' go.

I be licking tips and sticking bottles in my hole,
Reki Boy Nicky eating dogshit that's fo' sho',
Niggas run into my house, and then they fuck my ho,
Local Goys or nothin', Lo-lo-local Goys or nothin...

Then there are some songs you don’t even need to change.

Balldonna
“Left on Read; calling for Dick”

 

[Balldo's Gate]

I don't have any problem with buying art, but who the fuck spontaneously says "hey, let's go buy artwork"

I think this must be a reference to the shitty paintings that he spent tens of thousands of dollars on to collect dust sitting on the floor of his streaming room.

Seriously, how the fuck do you spend tens of thousands of dollars on something and let it sit on the fucking floor leaning against the wall? What do you want to bet that he's tripped over them at least once in a drunken stupor and spilled his whiskey everywhere?

But yeah, it sure sounds like Nick accidentally let slip that they've had arguments over it in the past. And he immediately added that Kayla wants to help her family financially, which even though he presents it as something he LOVES to do, probably means he threw that out as a counterargument.

Who brushes aside their children as "other people"? Those are his kids. Individuals he and Kayla have a legal and moral responsibility to. Kayla would be in the wrong if she wasn't thinking about them.

Nick does.

Because Nick, at least in the past two years, views his streaming income as party funds. Anything related to his kids, his parents should pay for. The streaming stuff is for trips to Gay 90s and Hedonism II, fast cars, overpriced paintings, expensive liquor, and drugs. If not payments to Sweet Minty. And why apologize to some Internet weirdo when you defamed him when you can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for the chance of keeping your pride?

I know ol' wet brain here can't keep his stories straight, but anytime the topic comes up of Our Wife leaving him his go-to cope is that she spends all of his money and you can't afford her. Now that he's drank those memories out of his head the new story is that she can't control  his spending.

I hate to go all tinfoil about it, but it sure sounds like the divorce alarm bells are starting to ring. Unless there is some kind of other information he's keeping secret like some sort of undisclosed illness, it's extremely odd for one hate dono to lead to a half hour straight of ranting about I LUB MAH WIFE! Especially with the little breadcrumbs of potential conflict over Nick's spendthrift nature the last year or so. The comment in the chat "I will never feel bad being late for a stream when I spend thast time being late with lady rackets" (thanks @Potatoherder for catching that) is also telling. It seems like laying it on thick.

Other chats caught by @Potatoherder have terrible spelling. That, in addition to the clips that @elb has been posting, makes me conclude that he seems to be drinking more again. The question is, why? The past couple spurts of heavy drinking HAVE been prompted by stress. The last time he started drinking heavily was back during the Eric July drama in September. The time before that was the trainwreck May friday streams, where he came back from his R&R (get it?) vacation and blamed "depression-type stuff" for the fact that his drinking was out of control on streams.

- Rekieta blames stress and "depression-type stuff" before adding that "these aren't excuses, they're just explanations, I'm not whining, I'm not bitching about it".

 

[Not Who You Think]

In the middle of the 30 minute rant there was another tidbit that dropped. Nick confirmed that he has had disagreements with his wife over his rampant spending, saying:

"I will spend it, I will go on vacations, I will buy cars, I will buy things. I'll be like, 'Let's go buy art.'

She's like, 'Can we afford it?'

'Course we can girl, don't worry about it.'

She's like 'But, what about our kids?'

Like, our kids are fine. She's always thinking about someone else. She's always, to her own detriment."

View attachment 5513931

EDIT: At the end of the clip he says how happy he is to help friends and family out financially because it makes Kayla happy, if you want an idea of how these disagreements go.

Of course Nick thinks the kids are fine. Nick always thinks the kids are fine. How dare the mother of his own children be such a Karen and "think of the children".

Also, a stream review post on August 30th from Geared Chris paints Kayla in a different light:

- There is a shed on the Nick's property filled with crap that Kayla buys. Nick implied she has a shopping problem.

It is likely that Kayla isn't so much responsible with money as she doesn't really trust Nick with it. Understandable given that Nick spends a lot of money on dumb stuff like his needlessly expensive lawsuit and frequent vacations that cut into his ability to make more money.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

I’m not married but I just know if I had a wife they’d really love it when I stream to all my fans repeat drunken rants about how pregnancy absolutely wrecked her body but that’s okay because I’m standing up for her. Granted her body was absolutely destroyed but babe look at how I talk about how I’m with you to all these people, also your body is ruined. That tight firm body just gone, but I’m still with you babe kisses!

*sips*

 

[Anticipointment]

She's like, 'Can we afford it?'

'Course we can girl, don't worry about it.'

Says the man with the GSG to finance getting sued by Monty & who can’t swing that Locals 5k gift just yet because he has so many other expenses piled up.

Must be rough, take another vacation, have another drink of that $200 per bottle whiskey, etc.

 

[AnOminous]

Am I hearing this right? He's telling this woman that he cooks at home all the fresh stuff, no canned stuff? The guy who buys pre boiled eggs, uses canned chicken and canned tomato, among other things? Is he at the stage where he lies like he breathes with no reason?

Pretty much that, plus he's probably constantly blackout drunk and doesn't even remember the last lie he told. He'd lie and claim he never said something while video of him saying it just yesterday was playing on the Jumbotron on Times Square right behind him.

While it's not a separate crime to be DUI with a child in the car, it's an aggravating factor as to how severe the charge is.

I'm going to clarify this because while I am not sure it's the case in Minnesota, depending on the circumstances, it could be some kind of criminal negligence or "endangering a child" to do this, although generally just mere DUI by itself, unless it's really extreme, isn't going to result in that kind of charge.

That's the fun thing about law. Almost any time you make a general statement, you're going to be forced to write a few paragraphs on the level of "except in Louisiana, where the rule is. . ."

It's funny now that I mentioned it, cause ever since he called his old fans PRUDE INCELS that projected their own 'wants' on to him (being a trad christian dad), he never uses 'fans' or 'for the fans' anymore.

He'll get back to it when he hits Skid Row Ethan Ralph levels of numbers and has to start an OnlyFans where he'll do Balldo videos in a fursuit.

I only tried it once years ago but I remember it being a lot less licorice-tasting than the standard one, so they probably reconfigured the formula somewhat to deemphasize the star anise if it's still there.

I never understood the Jager thing. It was really a marketing feat to get this drink for old men to take a shot of after dinner, from Germany, with a crucifix on the label, turned into a party drink for frat boys to drink copiously, even though it was originally marketed as a medicine and literally tastes like medicine, specifically the nasty-ass green Nyquil.

I get that it gets you fucked up but there are way more palatable ways of getting fucked up. Like bourbon. Which ironically is seeming like an old man drink these days too.

Here, and a lot of other places afik, the hit you with a separate misdemeanor child endangerment charge.

Just re-read my original post and corrected that. I don't think it's automatic, though. I think they'd definitely do it in situations like we've seen with Ethan Ralph, where he's drunk to the point of oblivion and turns the wrong way down a one way street with an infant in the car without a child seat.

As time goes on it’s more and more clear he lied about liking to cook. @AnOminous how low is your estimation of him now? You’re like the 4th most active person in the Cooking thread and you have a law background.

From the Culver's bag? Not changed. They have the best fast food fish sandwich and their burgers are better than meme burger joints like Five Guys.

I'm with dear leader. The reason he doesn't do court streams anymore is because he is physically incapable. Hard to do a 10 hour marathon stream while hung over or needing to sleep off the previous nights bender.

Also he probably can't remember ten minutes ago, he has the attention span of a guppy, and he'd just make a fool of himself not being able to comprehend what's going on around him.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

The comment in the chat "I will never feel bad being late for a stream when I spend thast time being late with lady rackets" (thanks @Potatoherder for catching that) is also telling. It seems like laying it on thick.

If you think THAT’s laying it on thick, how about him proclaiming repeatedly that if Kayla leaves him he’ll never marry another woman? That entire rambling segment was an epic, shambolic attempt to fix more of his alcoholic wreckage.

Having observed lolcows for 20+ years, I’ve always tended to assume the lolcow’s life isn’t as much of a mess as detractors believe. Because people get carried away and project all kind of shit all the time. But time and time again, I’m proven wrong when divorces I thought would never happen are announced — along with eventual confessions that “Things were bad for a long time, but we didn’t want to give strangers on the internet the satisfaction of seeing us split up.”

I also don’t root for divorces, especially when kids are involved. Improbable as it is, I’d always love to see degenerate pieces of shit get help and make amends. Nick is one of those people, though, who will lie his ass off until the end of time just to preserve his ego. He’s constantly giving Pat Tomlinson #DLTIW energy and he’s a very bad actor — not to mention constantly contradicting himself because he can’t keep his lies straight.

I hope Kayla gets custody of the Balldo.

 

[AnOminous]

Latest video by Bernie Garçon

Honestly, that facial expression would have caused my mom to smack me and yell don't you dare roll your eyes at me. Not being a complete idiot, it took me once to learn not to do that ever. At least with my mom. I'd save that shit for cucked adults who wouldn't do shit.

If you think THAT’s laying it on thick, how about him proclaiming repeatedly that if Kayla leaves him he’ll never marry another woman?

It's probably true. If he married again it would be a man.

 

[Mr.Bucket]

I never understood the Jager thing. It was really a marketing feat to get this drink for old men to take a shot of after dinner, from Germany, with a crucifix on the label, turned into a party drink for frat boys to drink copiously, even though it was originally marketed as a medicine and literally tastes like medicine, specifically the nasty-ass green Nyquil.

I quite like it mixed with ginger ale. Then again I like black licorice. Anise is tasty af. There's an old family recipe for Anise cookies every christmas. Mmmmmmm... almost that time again.
On-topic: It still boggles my mind that he has spent more than my house is worth on shitty paintings that sit on the floor. What he said he paid for the Depp one would pay off the rest of my mortgage by itself.

 

[AnOminous]

I quite like it mixed with ginger ale. Then again I like black licorice. Anise is tasty af. There's an old family recipe for Anise cookies every christmas. Mmmmmmm... almost that time again.

I love anise and especially star anise but I really just don't like the Jager flavor.

What’s astonishing is that he always speaks at length about their finances as if there hasn’t been a trust fund sitting there for him to plunder at whim for his entire adulthood.

Back when he was in his technicality days he'd deny the trust fund. I actually don't think there is a literal trust fund in the legal sense. I think he's had to wheedle and cajole whenever his extravagant antics got him in financial trouble and resented having to do it because it should have just been given to him for free without any unwanted advice attached.

That's pure speculation of course, but I don't think there's a literal trust fund. I do think he's a fuckup who has probably been bailed out over and over again his entire life, and instead of being grateful for the bailout and learning any lessons, he's resented being bailed out because it underscores what a complete fuckup he is.

Must be rough, take another vacation, have another drink of that $200 per bottle whiskey, etc.

A million dollars for Rustangs, Balldos, trips to swinger resorts during cuck week, but not a dime for honorably living up to promises he made.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I don't think there's a literal trust fund. I do think he's a fuckup who has probably been bailed out over and over again his entire life.

Regardless of whether there’s a literal trust fund or not, it’s always obnoxious when someone with access to considerable generational wealth decides to wax wise on financial struggles. As if Nick has any idea what it’s like to go through life without an assured safety net.

It’s even more galling when he both complains about the cost of delivering on his own promises AND e-begs to fund the consequences of his drunken recklessness.

How much of a dumb, submissive loser would a person have to be to remain a Rekieta fan at this point? It’s almost as if his die-hards are still there only because they want to see a fellow cuck do well in life.