Containment Random Chris Updates

[RedGermaine]

And Christmas, the New Year and his birthday are right around the corner aren't they?

Not to mention Valentine's Day.

We may be hearing from old Chris before we know it.

In Canada we call it Suicide Season because Seasonal depression from the Holidays creeps in and people drop. Chris has no family, has no real friends, he has an employer and a fake girlfriend. Around Christmas he's going to realize he's burned his bridge to the only family he had and is probably expecting presents from Barb that he won't get

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

In Canada we call it Suicide Season because Seasonal depression from the Holidays creeps in and people drop. Chris has no family, has no real friends, he has an employer and a fake girlfriend. Around Christmas he's going to realize he's burned his bridge to the only family he had and is probably expecting presents from Barb that he won't get

The only decent family Chris ever had was Bob to some level and any elderly Aunts/Uncles that aren't dead yet.

Too bad Chris escaped to wranglers that will just milk him dry.

 

[Optimus Prime]

In Canada we call it Suicide Season because Seasonal depression from the Holidays creeps in and people drop. Chris has no family, has no real friends, he has an employer and a fake girlfriend. Around Christmas he's going to realize he's burned his bridge to the only family he had and is probably expecting presents from Barb that he won't get

I doubt he's been expecting any gifts from Barb for years, since it was his tardbux she was taking to buy shit at goodwill.

Plus, Chris hadn't been in jail for half a year before we got a letter that in no uncertain terms stated he hoped his own mother dropped dead so he could get 14BC to himself. I'm not sure her death is going to have as much of an impact on him as it would have in the past in part due to the fact she's no longer a parasite on his own (poorly managed) finances and he's no longer responsible for her upkeep - something he's been chomping at the bit to be rid of for years.

As for not having any real friends or family otherwise, that too has been true for years and Chris is likely aware on a subconcious level. It's why CWCville was created in the first place and ultimately mutated into Dimension C-137 with Chris hung up on the Merge. The cartoon fantasy he play-pretends in all the time, where he's married to his own OC and everybody likes him, all exists as escapist fantasy where people actually like him for being him instead of the spoiled, narcissistic piece of shit he's proven he is underneath all the autism. It is why he likes the talk about alternate universes and wants the cartoon apocalypse to happen - not so much because he'd be god but more because he would rather bring about Armageddon and have billions of people die to institute a Who Framed Roger Rabbit situation where cartoon characters tell Chris nice things, than actually try to become a better person in real life.

Really, I think the next incident we're going to see with Chris is when something happens with the 'girlfriend', may it be she breaks up with him (I.E. she actually is going to move somewhere far away for a work opportunity) or he tries pressuring her to take the relationship to the next level.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Never underestimate Chris, he's coated with rubber AND Teflon. At this rate, he'll make it to 100

100 years of the Sonichu medallion around his wrinkly and possibly greasy HRT-dysfunction neck is not the kind of image one wants to think about while eating

 

[King Kiwi]

The only decent family Chris ever had was Bob to some level and any elderly Aunts/Uncles that aren't dead yet.

Too bad Chris escaped to wranglers that will just milk him dry.

Ehh. Aunts and uncles are overrated. It's not like what you see in the movies. I think Corrina was decent, Bob rest her soul, but unfortunately from what I've seen you just have to take care of yourself these days. Irl you can't just sit back passively and hope things work out, even if your family is letting you cuz you never know what's around the corner.

Sorry m8s. Way of life.

 

[Crass_and_Champ]

Ehh. Aunts and uncles are overrated. It's not like what you see in the movies. I think Corrina was decent, Bob rest her soul, but unfortunately from what I've seen you just have to take care of yourself these days. Irl you can't just sit back passively and hope things work out, even if your family is letting you cuz you never know what's around the corner.

Sorry m8s. Way of life.

Here's Chris "grieving" over one of the only relatives on Barb's side who cared about him.

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/BlueSpike_Skype_Logs_11

Notice how he doesn't even spell her name correctly, but is happy to talk about the money she gave him. This was also during the same chat where "Julie" flat-out calls him fat.


Edit: didn't thumbnail at first, sorry null

 

[King Kiwi]

I wish lol, but I do miss the 2000s a lot.

But no, Jordie Jordan (AKA: WingsofRedemption) is a long time fatass lolcow who was, at one point, a respected CoD streamer, but years later got worse, with late-2017 the biggest year of him being a lolcow

I was thinking Wings of Fire. Thanks for clearing that up, it sounded like some emo Christian rock song.

If we know anything Chris misses the 2000s too.

Notice how he doesn't even spell her name correctly, but is happy to talk about the money she gave him. This was also during the same chat where "Julie" flat-out calls him fat.

Hell, even I spell her name right. Julie wasn't wrong, though, it was Fat Tuesday.

Anyways the point is that Chris doesn't have any family he can turn to anymore and the family he could turn to will no longer have anything more to do with him because of his own actions.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Here's Chris "grieving" over one of the only relatives on Barb's side who cared about him.
View attachment 5525737

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/BlueSpike_Skype_Logs_11

Notice how he doesn't even spell her name correctly, but is happy to talk about the money she gave him. This was also during the same chat where "Julie" flat-out calls him fat.

It really is something that you can just feel how annoyed he is at the mere thought of having to pick between going to the funeral of somebody who actually, genuinely gave any kind of shit for him...or having the church celebrate his birthday with pancakes, because he knows the pick will be made for him by his parents which would be to miss the pancakes.

 

[AnOminous]

Plus, Chris hadn't been in jail for half a year before we got a letter that in no uncertain terms stated he hoped his own mother dropped dead so he could get 14BC to himself.

Thinking that would happen is more delusional than thinking he's Jesus.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Thinking that would happen is more delusional than thinking he's Jesus.

Ironically, I'd argue it actually almost did happen with the car crash. That was the closest Barb probably got to dying...and Chris took credit for making sure she didn't die.

 

[TestTubePuppy]

Ptoblrem is, Caden can just dump Chris' ass and be done with him.

I don't think it's that easy. He's moved Chris in under a landlord/tenant arrangement, and I doubt there is a rental contract. Caden wouldn't want to put the stuff about Chris's income paying the rent in writing. If he tries to evict Chris, Chris will have nowhere to go and will go into hedgehog defense mode in his apartment, not answering the door and refusing to leave. Caden could start the process of eviction, but he's not going to want to put the teflon tard in front of a judge, and he isn't going to want Chris to bring up the income Caden is making off him in court on the record.

Caden is stuck. Chris isn't going to move until he himself wants to move and he's found a better place to live. That isn't bloody likely to happen. I think Caden is going to grow old and gray before he can scrape this barnacle off his shoe. And he isn't going to be able to rent any units with walls adjoining Chris's apartment with all the loud singing of TV theme songs in a hideous falsetto... and of course, the smell.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

Really, I think the next incident we're going to see with Chris is when something happens with the 'girlfriend', may it be she breaks up with him (I.E. she actually is going to move somewhere far away for a work opportunity) or he tries pressuring her to take the relationship to the next level.

I think it would be a real disaster if he catches her fucking Caden or some wild shit like that. Especially if she hasn't/won't fuck him.

 

[Duke Nukem]

I think it would be a real disaster if he catches her fucking Caden or some wild shit like that. Especially if she hasn't/won't fuck him.

Personally I buy into the idea that Flutter is part of a long game ween scheme, although the "Chris Chan has a girlfriend what's your excuse" shit is pretty funny.

Honestly it's insane how many autists have a strong sex drive but are without the proper social prerequisites to deal with it appropriately.

 

[Mariposa2.0 LTE]

View attachment 5525897

A bunch of washed up old hags trying to make money. It will be like Meryl Streep trying to win best actress by playing a 19 year old prostitute. It's just going to be silly and desperate. An episode of loos, where are they now?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Here's Chris "grieving" over one of the only relatives on Barb's side who cared about him.
View attachment 5525737

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/BlueSpike_Skype_Logs_11

Notice how he doesn't even spell her name correctly, but is happy to talk about the money she gave him. This was also during the same chat where "Julie" flat-out calls him fat.

What an asshole. His birthday and a pancake dinner were all he cared about.

 

[TVB]

I was thinking Wings of Fire. Thanks for clearing that up, it sounded like some emo Christian rock song.

If we know anything Chris misses the 2000s too.

I'll say that I do not blame Chris for the fact that 2000s was a great decade. Anyway, WingsofRedemption is responsible with this

Back on topic

What an asshole. His birthday and a pancake dinner were all he cared about.

I feel like his birthday is going to repeat whatever bullshit happened in his previous birthdays

 

[RedGermaine]

View attachment 5525897

Don't Wings and Boogie still hate each others guts? They're both depressed narcissists with weight issues, one is just a poor man trying to be a sugar daddy, the other speaks in ebonics. Chris would be talked over until he has a melt down, he doesn't do good in group formats and I doubt he's going to take the offer

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

The only decent family Chris ever had was Bob to some level and any elderly Aunts/Uncles that aren't dead yet.

In another world if Barb had died at childbirth maybe things would've been better, but alas...

Don't Wings and Boogie still hate each others guts? They're both depressed narcissists with weight issues, one is just a poor man trying to be a sugar daddy, the other speaks in ebonics. Chris would be talked over until he has a melt down, he doesn't do good in group formats and I doubt he's going to take the offer

100%, wings probably wouldn't start it as out of all 3 he's the "quietest", but I can genuinely see boggie just try to prove to himself, chris and the audience in what can only be described the cope of the century, that his life has been the hardest out of all the participants on the show, he has so little shame I'd wager on it

 

[The Dude]

I don't think it's that easy. He's moved Chris in under a landlord/tenant arrangement, and I doubt there is a rental contract. Caden wouldn't want to put the stuff about Chris's income paying the rent in writing. If he tries to evict Chris, Chris will have nowhere to go and will go into hedgehog defense mode in his apartment, not answering the door and refusing to leave. Caden could start the process of eviction, but he's not going to want to put the teflon tard in front of a judge, and he isn't going to want Chris to bring up the income Caden is making off him in court on the record.

Caden is stuck. Chris isn't going to move until he himself wants to move and he's found a better place to live. That isn't bloody likely to happen. I think Caden is going to grow old and gray before he can scrape this barnacle off his shoe. And he isn't going to be able to rent any units with walls adjoining Chris's apartment with all the loud singing of TV theme songs in a hideous falsetto... and of course, the smell.

Now I've got this mental image of Chris having an absolute retard fit from sensory overload because he ignored the eviction notice for so long that the police got involved, and now SWAT is breaking down the door with a battering ram and tossing in nine-bangers. And now I can't stop laughing.