How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
I've been under an artist block and a burnout for most of the year, so it's kinda been stressing me out. I tried exercising to hopefully motivate my mind to get out of the fog, but nothing yet.

I kinda just want 2023 to end. I'm done. Lol.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: CoolFool and Mesh Gear Fox
Doctor John B. Zyklon said:
It will fuck you over if it stops you from working. Disability, depending on the state iirc, is 11-15k a year. 1300ish a month. It'd be better to get a job. You can work at an auto-parts store and move up the corporate ladder and make decent money.

If you can avoid it, don't be a neet.
Click to expand...
I live in a liberal ass state so I think I'll be able to work still. I don't have anything that will stop me from working (just autism and probably a few other things), so? Idk.
 
Shitted Scaredless said:
I live in a liberal ass state so I think I'll be able to work still. I don't have anything that will stop me from working (just autism and probably a few other things), so? Idk.
Click to expand...
You can work in every state on it, it's federal. They deduct X per dollar that you make working. Sometimes 1:1, idr the specifics too much on that. Go ahead and get it, but fucking get a job. Trust me, been there, done that. Most places are still looking for people that i've seen. With a base pay of 15-20 an hour. For retarded monke math, just double the hourly rate to see your yearly pay assuming you're working full time.

Now, granted, a job will be taxed so a 15 dollar an hour (30kish a year) job, won't be 30k take home. But, it should be more than disability. Plus, you have opportunity to grow. Whether it be raises, incentives, promotions, etc.

Working is also fucking great for your mental health. Assuming you're a guy. If you're a woman, I mean...nothing will fix that. Don't let your mom or whoever say "my lil' shitted can't work, can't live on his own, can't do X". Mothers love to do that shit. Prove them wrong. You can do it.
 
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: Mesh Gear Fox, JanuaryViolet, Local Fed and 1 other person
Well i was ok but now i'm allright
i don't have any guns and i walk alone at night
I'm kinda old but thats ok, i have a dog and girl named Fey
And i hope to find a bag of money on the ground some day.
 
$sudo said:
In bed with my cat. He has end stage renal failure, unending dental problems, and sniffles. He is only ten. Tonight, after seeing the vet earlier, he's changed entirely. Quiet, withdrawn, only gets excited and communicative for food, purring barely audible when I cuddle him, hops off the bed or couch to slink half a metre away on the floor.

In two days I'm sending him to the rainbow bridge ahead of me. He seems ready now barely 12 hours later from the stress of the "is it time" visit to the vet, and initially I thought a week, but I made it for two days after putting his prognosis above my devastation. I'm not ready and feeling immense guilt. If I had more money when his problems started, I could have increased his life a little longer with a bit more quality instead of shortening it with steroid shots about 18 months ago, but at the time I could afford only that choice or euthanising him then. I gave him quality of life for a short time, not a long time, with a few downturns in between he recovered from when they happened, but now the time is up and this is it. It really rushed by.

View attachment 5527126

Here he is in a beam of light in the lounge earlier. He's polished off a tin of sardines today and I bought two more for him; I tried wet cat food but he's just not interested in it. Sardines it is, the last supper, and my house smells like sardines but it's a small price to see his face light up and hear his sweet meow when he is now otherwise silent. This is so fucking hard. I didn't want to get to this day. I blinked and we're here. He's ready, I'm not.
Click to expand...
Beautiful kitty. I just lost mine about a month ago to the exact same thing. My house smelt like sardines too. I couldn't afford all the treatment he needed and one day I woke up and he didn't. It's hard. I'm sorry.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: .iota., The Feline Solution, CoolFool and 4 others
R.S.o.E said:
Nearing the end of my week off college. I'll be back in next Monday. Actually can't wait. Chances are I'll be playing a different instrument that isn't guitar this time. Personally, I'd love to learn how to play drums a bit better. I've been learning during the spare time I have at college because I actually can't fit a drum kit in my bedroom.
Click to expand...
Yeah they got me playing bass for a cover. I also have to perform original shit by myself because I'm that much of a feckless friendless fucking faggot... No matter though, I can perform with a backing track and I get to scream into the microphone.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mesh Gear Fox
Still haven't had a response from the apartment I want

But the one I was gonna settle for, the one near my kid's bestie? IT'S GONE
I'VE BEEN HOISTED BY MY OWN RETARD PETARD

Or maybe not, I might yet be surprised by the preferred one.
Improbable, but not impossible.

Otherwise I may just calm down and observe other opportunities that may pop up. There's some interesting ones but they're a bit further than I'd like from area I want to stay on.

Edit: I have been made a liar. The ad for the "kid's bestie" apartment it has reappeared. They'd taken it down before, but always put it back within the day. Now it took them longer, but it's back. It's still in the cards, bros.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: The Feline Solution, CashMoney!, Friend of Dorothy Parker and 1 other person
Still no luck on the dating apps. I think I understand things a bit better now though.

First is that most women see being short and/or bald the way most guys see being fat (more or less unacceptable), which I obviously don't think is fair, but that's just the way it is.

Second is that the vast majority of women absolutely love travel and road trips to winery/B&Bs (invariably described as adventure!). And if I'd been married for 20 years, I'm sure that's the sort of thing I'd follow my wife around doing. But I think the equivalent for women is me being in to video games or 40k. I just don't have the will to pursue an average looking women who I share almost no interests with.

I've been watching some MGTOW stuff on youtube, but none of it resonates. I would be happier giving up, but I simply can't. Sharing things is unequivocally more satisfying than experiencing them alone.

It really does seem like I'd be better off going for some blue haired commie chick or pub slut - normies aren't for me.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Magnum Magazine, Nikes_JustDoIt, Sissyagamben and 7 others
Second Sun said:
It really does seem like I'd be better off going for some blue haired commie chick or pub slut - normies aren't for me.
Click to expand...
No, it's really not worth it. It's not a matter of mere political disagreement--those people are truly fucked up and evil. They will screw with you.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: bile demon, Magnum Magazine, Nikes_JustDoIt and 7 others
Second Sun said:
But I think the equivalent for women is me being in to video games or 40k. I just don't have the will to pursue an average looking women who I share almost no interests with.
Click to expand...
Interests aren't a huge deal, imo. It's nice for some to overlap, but the bedrock is more important. "Someone who will be perfectly aligned with you will be a man, a man with aspergers" and all that. It's more important that their interests aren't obtuse or something you can't go along with. Abortion enthusiast, pride parades, sisterwives, that sort of shite.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Triple Flutz, The Feline Solution, Shadfan666xxx000 and 1 other person
Second Sun said:
Still no luck on the dating apps. I think I understand things a bit better now though.

First is that most women see being short and/or bald the way most guys see being fat (more or less unacceptable), which I obviously don't think is fair, but that's just the way it is.

Second is that the vast majority of women absolutely love travel and road trips to winery/B&Bs (invariably described as adventure!). And if I'd been married for 20 years, I'm sure that's the sort of thing I'd follow my wife around doing. But I think the equivalent for women is me being in to video games or 40k. I just don't have the will to pursue an average looking women who I share almost no interests with.

I've been watching some MGTOW stuff on youtube, but none of it resonates. I would be happier giving up, but I simply can't. Sharing things is unequivocally more satisfying than experiencing them alone.

It really does seem like I'd be better off going for some blue haired commie chick or pub slut - normies aren't for me.
Click to expand...
I'm going to go back to online/app dating after the holidays and it fills me with dread.

I spent years thinking that I shouldn't take dating seriously, that I could wait until I was a more complete person and a more attractive prospect to start opening my heart and that if I was patient I'd just meet someone good. But now I think I've just gotten deranged and used to being lonely.

Honestly I think my reasoning was sound but I didn't account for the fact that people use dating apps to practice for when they actually meet someone special, and now I just don't have the benfit of any of that practice.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Second Sun
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back