Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Lizard Pope]

shriveled up, black, and covered in cream-colored spots of hardened fat.

But enough about the poor mortician...

 

[Johnny Eastwood cash]

He is probably only going to eat processed meat

 

[NaggotFigger]

shriveled up, black, and covered in cream-colored spots of hardened fat.

Organ so huge and disgusting that it gives Tarrare a run for his money. Hell, Amberlard or 'Cado, or Clotso has healthier organs than of whatever the salmonella-strickened tub of lard that was fatty Jack himself.
I felt really bad for both the pathologists and the morticians, for both when the pathologists trying not to whiff the bad stench of his nasty, rotten stomach when they are perfoming an autopsy on Jagoff's beer belly. And the morticians on trying to get rid of the decomposing body's foul odor by embalming him; still, that nasty foul bacteria from him would make the progress more tedious and horrid. Fucking gross.

He is probably only going to eat processed meat

Cured meat still retains fat, so Jagoff would guarantee to savor it to make his carnivore diet better. Fatty would not live without any meat with great amount of fat or his own repulsive cooking, or junk food, and whatever he could eat that contains fat in it. That is the way of his diet! (Because it just is, okay?)

 

[Throwing Romans]

Organ so huge and disgusting that it gives Tarrare a run for his money. Hell, Amberlard or 'Cado, or Clotso has healthier organs than of whatever the salmonella-strickened tub of lard that was fatty Jack himself.
I felt really bad for both the pathologists and the morticians, for both when the pathologists trying not to whiff the bad stench of his nasty, rotten stomach when they are perfoming an autopsy on Jagoff's beer belly. And the morticians on trying to get rid of the decomposing body's foul odor by embalming him; still, that nasty foul bacteria from him would make the progress more tedious and horrid. Fucking gross.

Eh, I find it unlikely they're going to do any sort of autopsy on him. those are usually for unexpected deaths or un-witnessed deaths, homicides and stuff - even if the docs had NO CLUE Jack had prior strokes, one look at the sack of shit shows you his death wouldn't be unexpected or mysterious.

 

[AnOminous]

I say this a lot, but I would not ever want to be the mortician that conducts the autopsy. On him, Nicocado, Amberlynn, etc. Severe PTSD from slicing them open and seeing how corrupted their organs are.

Less than 10% of people get an autopsy. Those are for when the cause of death is suspicious.

It will be obvious when Jack dies that he died of a stroke and from being a fat piece of shit.

 

[TheMovieGuy]

jesus christ the volume of that intro song scares the shit out of me every time.

It is SO irritating. At this point I hate that song more than anything Jack's ever done.

 

[Po's Cootah]

So a diet that is full of saturated fats and LDL. Wow, he’s going to speed run to his third stroke.

He needs to go with a balanced and healthy diet, not something that will do the reverse effect. Right now he is speedrunning his death.

 

[beautiful person]

Eh, I find it unlikely they're going to do any sort of autopsy on him. those are usually for unexpected deaths or un-witnessed deaths, homicides and stuff - even if the docs had NO CLUE Jack had prior strokes, one look at the sack of shit shows you his death wouldn't be unexpected or mysterious.

Less than 10% of people get an autopsy. Those are for when the cause of death is suspicious.

It will be obvious when Jack dies that he died of a stroke and from being a fat piece of shit.

Yeah, the unfortunate fact is that the way Jack lives and the way he's going to die is very common, and even normal these days. There's nothing about his lifestyle and health that would be of note, let alone suspicious or interesting enough for anyone to gain any scientific knowledge from. An autopsy would just be a waste of time and resources. Except maybe to study his brain to figure out how he managed to survive four strokes.

It is SO irritating. At this point I hate that song more than anything Jack's ever done.

I think it's a result of people trolling in the comments of his videos, telling him that his intro music is too quiet and they desperately need him to increase the volume. But only of the intro music. Instead of realizing that he's being fucked with and just ignoring these comments, he'll respond that it sounds fine on his end, but then keeps increasing the volume of the intro music a little bit for each new video.

It's fucking hilarious!

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Less than 10% of people get an autopsy. Those are for when the cause of death is suspicious.

It will be obvious when Jack dies that he died of a stroke and from being a fat piece of shit.

You're right. He'd most likely have to be a victim of a crime.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Didn't the original TN McMansion also appreciate enough to make them a decent amount of bank?

Yeah and probably half of that went towards Jagoff's medical bills for the months he spent in rehab after his last stroke. Insurance would have covered part of it buy they had to have gotten a huge bill in return.

 

[Tiresome]

Yeah and probably half of that went towards Jagoff's medical bills for the months he spent in rehab after his last stroke. Insurance would have covered part of it buy they had to have gotten a huge bill in return.

Except we never got the promised TRUTHFUL EXPOSE about the TERRIBLE CONDITIONS in the nursing home, which seem on camera to have been limited to giving Jack less than thirteen eggs per breakfast and making him exercise, not to mention housing GROSS OLD PEOPLE.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

Except we never got the promised TRUTHFUL EXPOSE about the TERRIBLE CONDITIONS in the nursing home, which seem on camera to have been limited to giving Jack less than thirteen eggs per breakfast and making him exercise, not to mention housing GROSS OLD PEOPLE.

At least Hammy would valiantly help Jack survive those terrible conditions by carrying him takeout fried chicken to sustain him between those woefully inadequate meals.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

At least Hammy would valiantly help Jack survive those terrible conditions by carrying him takeout fried chicken to sustain him between those woefully inadequate meals.

She also brought him to the movie theater at least a couple of times and we all know he put down a bucket of popcorn and gallon of soda before the trailers ended.

 

[Crex Crex]

She also brought him to the movie theater at least a couple of times and we all know he put down a bucket of popcorn and gallon of soda before the trailers ended.

At least.

 

[Crispy Jakes]

Call me late but the bizarro clown music at the start of Jack on the Go kills me everytime.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

He needs to go with a balanced and healthy diet, not something that will do the reverse effect. Right now he is speedrunning his death.

one good thing for him, this diet will get him closer to see god......right before he sends him straight to hell for being a piece of shit

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Call me late but the bizarro clown music at the start of Jack on the Go kills me everytime.

What really gets my goat is there was a period of time where Jack switched the music to a more normal-sounding, country instrumental. Eventually he switched it back, which means he likes retarded chipmunk music more than normal music.

It’s also well established that Jack unironically listens to children’s music and watches children’s TV shows for entertainment.

 

[Dan tease in fur know]

I'm not a doctor, but I've always heard that large amounts of red meat are something to specifically avoid when you have heart trouble.

its because animal products make the vascular system lose its elasticity. its not a problem if you eat leafy greens like spinach regularly but if its animal products all the time your body is usually stuck in that state. your veins can no longer expand as needed which is deadly to people who already have heart and blood pressure problems.

he is literally going on a diet meant for weight loss that will put him in an at risk state constantly.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

At least.

Oh I'm sure there was some nachos and candy too Also some theatres have free refills on soda and popcorn, so you know fatty was going back for seconds, thirds, and fourths, and probably taking a bucket home.

 

[Stoicism Is For Losers]

its because animal products make the vascular system lose its elasticity. its not a problem if you eat leafy greens like spinach regularly but if its animal products all the time your body is usually stuck in that state. your veins can no longer expand as needed which is deadly to people who already have heart and blood pressure problems.

he is literally going on a diet meant for weight loss that will put him in an at risk state constantly.

How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?