Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

['Ole Dente]

Josh struggles with more then just basic math. He has trouble reading and was also frequently in trouble at his part time Wendy's job because he could not stop mixing up the sweetened and not sweetened teas. It goes far beyond just Florida redneck stupid he is actually disabled.

He reads Superchats passably with minimal errors and he mixed up teas like what, over a decade ago? He correctly distinguishes drinks more than fine now. Again I don't think he's batting above 80 with his IQ but he's not an actual shit for brains, he's fuckin lazy and he doesnt do shit because he doesnt need to do shit, it is expected of him to do the bare minimum. Nobody should be angry at him over it, it's entirely his fathers fault for endlessly coddling him and you can see it in the other kids because they live at home and work bullshit lesbian dance theory theater jobs he got them. Baldo is an overprotective mother, hes even got the dress to match.

 

[HiveDull]

So does the dye not wash off when he showers? How long is it gonna look like that?

 

[behavioral swamp thang]

A small list of celebs who died of alcoholism-

Hank Williams - Enlarged Heart - 29
Curly (3 Stooges) - Stroke - 48
Billie Holiday - Liver Cirrhosis - 44
John Bonham (Led Zep) - Choked on his vom - 32
Capote - Liver failure - 59
Amy Winehouse - Alcohol poisoning - 27
Smash Mouth guy - Liver failure - 56
Hendrix - Choked on vom - 27
Verne Troyer (Mini Me) - Alcohol poisoning - 49
Bon Scott (ACDC) - Alcohol poisoning - 33

May the circle of protection be strengthened with Cobra's magic.

 

[Cougar Pump]

Verne Troyer (Mini Me) - Alcohol poisoning - 49

It's amazing that Verne Fucking Troyer, the ubermidge himself (that normally comes with it's own raft of complications), lasted so long compared to the others on the list.

 

[Big Nasty]

I imagine him in a basement with a bunch of model trains and listening to whatever washed out metal band and eating hungry man dinners.

Dont dox me bro

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Didn’t Cobes crack a beer as he said, “ I’ve decided to not get black out drunk on stream.”

 

[Baroque]

h. He has trouble reading and was also frequently in trouble at his part time Wendy's job because he could not stop mixing up the sweetened and not sweetened teas.

The tea incident(s) to me always seemed like the kind of thing that they wouldn’t train you on because you couldn’t possibly not instinctively get the concept, but like cobra really can’t. Did they ever instruct him on how exactly to actually switch the teas out? I don’t think cobra is literally regarded—he often uses intermediate level grammatical structures and vocabulary, it’s just that he always gets it slightly wrong. You’ll know the word that he’s going for and that word works in the context, but he just fails to pronounce it correctly or uses a similar-but-wrong substitute. He needed better targeted education before he gave up on it altogether.

Note that this doesn’t apply to the word “dairy” and duster is retard-causing.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

So does the dye not wash off when he showers? How long is it gonna look like that?

He doesn't shower.

Did they ever instruct him on how exactly to actually switch the teas out?

According to Cobra, yes. He also parroted his manager's reasons for it being a big deal. (senior citizens with beetus)

 

[Steve Harwell's ghost]

A small list of celebs who died of alcoholism-

Hank Williams - Enlarged Heart - 29
Curly (3 Stooges) - Stroke - 48
Billie Holiday - Liver Cirrhosis - 44
John Bonham (Led Zep) - Choked on his vom - 32
Capote - Liver failure - 59
Amy Winehouse - Alcohol poisoning - 27
Smash Mouth guy - Liver failure - 56
Hendrix - Choked on vom - 27
Verne Troyer (Mini Me) - Alcohol poisoning - 49
Bon Scott (ACDC) - Alcohol poisoning - 33

May the circle of protection be strengthened with Cobra's magic.

Smash Mouth guy is me. Rock and roll motherfucker !!!!!

Its a sad truth but the reason the boy is so boring is because the tards have killed any natural cobraism's. He has all but abandoned his gothic cowboy persona after the shotgun incident. The freakouts have stopped because of the hat war. He doesn't make juans anymore because of paypigs. The reality is the funny old cobra content will not be making a return due to concern trolling and rent seekers trying to monetize a regard they " hate and want to die". In some ways cobra is right he really does run these losers sad lives, even a broken bog is right sometimes.

 

[Healthy Boy Brand]

Smash Mouth guy is me. Rock and roll motherfucker !!!!!

Its a sad truth but the reason the boy is so boring is because the tards have killed any natural cobraism's. He has all but abandoned his gothic cowboy persona after the shotgun incident. The freakouts have stopped because of the hat war. He doesn't make juans anymore because of paypigs. The reality is the funny old cobra content will not be making a return due to concern trolling and rent seekers trying to monetize a regard they " hate and want to die". In some ways cobra is right he really does run these losers sad lives, even a broken bog is right sometimes.

Agreed, the only thing that separates him from your run of the mill hobo now is that he's not actually homeless. All those arrested development teen goth things that made him unique just peeled off him like paint off a weatherbeaten porch down the years.

 

[AnOminous]

Again I don't think he's batting above 80 with his IQ but he's not an actual shit for brains, he's fuckin lazy and he doesnt do shit because he doesnt need to do shit, it is expected of him to do the bare minimum.

70s is shit for brains and whether or not you count as a retard depends on how functional you are. 70-85 is borderline, but if you still function despite that, you're not generally considered retarded.

This retard doesn't function at all. He can't even hold down a tard fast food job.

 

[PetiteFeet]

My guess is Daniel Larson is probably in the 70s, cobes is perhaps in the 80s. Whatever threshold Daniel sits just under, Cobes is at least one notch above. He's certainly got a better grip on reality and in many ways is more functional (although when you get right down to it, just barely). They are both greatly lacking any theory of mind and this can be used as a lens to understand a great deal of their behavior.

Different mental illnesses. I don't know anything about Daniel Larson aside from him being a genuine schizophrenic, I don't even know if he's the paranoid type. I do know Josh has developmental disorders including but not limited to his autism. A couple of hundred pages ago we were discussing what he inherited from his mother because she very clearly has something developmentally wrong with her as well. He's not FAS, someone suggested he has Fragile X Syndrome which ticks a lot of the boxes for him.

That said, it's not about who's more disabled. Daniel might be closer to being a ward of the state but that's only because Josh has family who can take care of him.
We also know for a fact that Josh couldn't even handle Puff for a year. Puff lasted 7 months in his "care". Try to imagine him without paypiggies, food deliveries and Tannis' groceries. He'd waste away and I genuinely don't think he'd be able to keep himself afloat. Maybe back before he cheated on Stephanie but certainly not today.

 

[fag0rz]

He has adapted to hide some behaviours but certain ones he can't; particularly anything involving alcohol.

One drink leads too two, two leads to him throwing up on the floor and beating the shit outta his hat. Alcoholics learn to hide behaviors but the end result still is going to result in them making bad decisions and over-drinking (least his case). He won't avoid YouTube and he def won't avoid alcohol.

He'll be blackout drunk in no time.

Yep, this is the same old addict bargaining/apology phase. They have a big meltdown, get in trouble, feel guilty about it, promise they're going to change, etc. etc. At that point you can start the timer until they do it again.

In The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, published 1884, Huck's dad ("Pap") is a hardcore alcoholic, and at one point he "reforms" and says he's now an upstanding citizen, etc. etc. Not long after that he goes on a bender and ruins it all. Mark Twain clearly knew the type.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

While Cobes is mostly unintentionally funny and generally not that funny when he's trying to make people laugh him saying "Well that just happened" after puking up his monster energy drink chug is legitimately hilarious.

When he get's up and goes to the kitchen and burps while he moves like he shat his pants and says "Au!" is where I always completely crack. Absolute glorious moment.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Didn’t Cobes crack a beer as he said, “ I’ve decided to not get black out drunk on stream.”

Only applies to getting blackout drunk on stream, trole.

 

[PetiteFeet]

https://twitter.com/dexerto/status/1734986059191042270 | https://nitter.net/dexerto/status/1734986059191042270

TMDWU!

 

[Sicko Hunter]

A couple of hundred pages ago we were discussing what he inherited from his mother because she very clearly has something developmentally wrong with her as well.

Laura being mentally disabled is a rumor the subreddit started. There is zero evidence for it. People saw a photo of her posing with her aunt and she has the same gross frog face Josh has and people took that as "CLINT FUCKED A RETARD HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!". In reality we know extremely little about Laura. We know she's very fundamentalist religious and abandoned Josh. That's it. Her being ugly is not proof she is disabled. We don't even know if she was actaully an addict when she was pregnant with Josh.

 

[Dick Pooman]

Josh just said "faggot" again, so expect the subreddit to report him into submission.

 

[Fedsmokers_secret_stash]

The entire chat is full of redditards saying they're reporting his channel, this sucks.

 

[Bogliacci]

Cobes is live and rakin in the super berries and particularly ornery today