DSP Plays Balding Gate 3

[BPD Gunt Rider]

"Variety streamer" is also his excuse if he's struggling at any game.

 

[Whaler]

As somebody that plays it on PS5 I can say that they have made it very easy to play with a controller. Phil is just being the massive reatrd with his 75IQ

Having played BG3 on PC like a morahn, could you explain how/why it's easy to play with a controller? Not being an ass, actually curious.

 

[JimiHendrix]

Having played BG3 on PC like a morahn, could you explain how/why it's easy to play with a controller? Not being an ass, actually curious.

from what i've seen Larian spent a shit ton of time tweaking the game to work with controller and using a controller actually changes the game to some degree.

like, on PC the game is mostly played top down/from that high up angled camera and you click to move places. with a controller the camera is much closer down and you use the analog stick to move, it controls a lot closer to like, dragon age with a controller. for shit like abilities/inventory, you just have the taskbar on PC, but controller gets a radial wheel.

I've honestly seen it described that playing between PC and Console is almost like playing different games due to the difference in control feel.

 

[Very Honest Content]

It's been leaked Dave has guides in his Discord with his most loyal asskissers, likely for every game with any challenge. Don't be shy, share whatever.

#baldursgatekeyring

As soon as there's no hat, this game is on wagequit alert. Divinity 2 never got to that low of support levels and still was sent to banworld due to the usual paypig oinking about calling shots on stream for gacha pull funds. Still this is a fun present for the holiday season since the pure salt of SF6 is about to have its geyser corked due to can't hang narc ego injury.

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

He thinks "variety streamer" means he has to play a different game every stream. Variety streamer just means you play various kinds of games.. not that you bounce around between 10 of them and take 6 months to beat anything.

Of course he also had to pull out the good ol' sandwich shop analogy which of course made zero sense.
He equated BG3 to being a hot new (I believe) parmesan sandwich which people came in droves to buy one day and said it would make no sense if he would offer only this new sandwich on the next day because people would also love to buy different kinds of products.

Well, Mr. Business degree Burnelli, the problem with this analogy is you don't offer a variety of products daily anyway.
It would be as if a sandwich shop would offer the pastrami sandwich on Manday 10am to 2pm, the mozarella sandwich 5pm to 7p and the tomato sandwich Tuesday's from 10am to 2 pm and nothing else during those times.
Now would this really be a smart business decision?

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

Having played BG3 on PC like a morahn, could you explain how/why it's easy to play with a controller? Not being an ass, actually curious.

What Jimi said.

The controlls are just very intuitive and you can get to what you want with 1 or 2 button presses. Most times when "PC centric" games get a console port using a controller, everything usually feels very cumbersome.

The Dragon Age comparison is a very good one. The game really does feel like something that Bio Ware could have made when they were still good.

EDIT: If you have a controller try and use it for a bit, just to get a feel for how us peasant play it.

 

[clothes in my closet]

Some more comments from Phil's website. Nothing of significance, but I thought I'd keep up with it either way.

Spoiler

 

[Whaler]

from what i've seen Larian spent a shit ton of time tweaking the game to work with controller and using a controller actually changes the game to some degree.

like, on PC the game is mostly played top down/from that high up angled camera and you click to move places. with a controller the camera is much closer down and you use the analog stick to move, it controls a lot closer to like, dragon age with a controller. for shit like abilities/inventory, you just have the taskbar on PC, but controller gets a radial wheel.

I've honestly seen it described that playing between PC and Console is almost like playing different games due to the difference in control feel.

What Jimi said.

The controlls are just very intuitive and you can get to what you want with 1 or 2 button presses. Most times when "PC centric" games get a console port using a controller, everything usually feels very cumbersome.

The Dragon Age comparison is a very good one. The game really does feel like something that Bio Ware could have made when they were still good.

EDIT: If you have a controller try and use it for a bit, just to get a feel for how us peasant play it.

I do have a controller for my PS5, but I just assumed it was going to be some half-assed attempt at making it work. Glad to see Larian actually put effort into it and people not on PC can enjoy it all the same. It's always sad (in my opinion) to see game companies port things over and just half-ass it because they can't be bothered to put any effort in or just consider it not worth it.

 

[Comma]

As expected, this is fucking atrocious to watch. He's looking more at the chat to handhold him than actually watching the game on the tv. He really has a toddler-tier capability to think for himself when it comes to game mechanics that are not baby-mode easy.

 

[fresh pair of socks]

As expected, this is fucking atrocious to watch. He's looking more at the chat to handhold him than actually watching the game on the tv. He really has a toddler-tier capability to think for himself when it comes to game mechanics that are not baby-mode easy.

His ego won't let him play at the lowest difficulty either, so all Phil can do is struggle with the game's mechanics until the inevitable rage quit.

 

[Kane lives in death]

i hope he wipes on the crypt skeletons hes fighting rn.
EVERY SENTENCE is saying that he doesnt understand anything and asking for handholds, fucking insuferable.

 

[Comma]

Long-time paypig 'playcool92' sends him a dollar tip, explaining a game mechanic. Gets shit on and ignored.

Thanks for the money, dummy.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

This is legitimately more painful than his stumblethrough of Daveinity 2. At least in that one he would pick the dialogue options himself which was hilarious since he'd end up getting into tons of pointless fights because he'd pick the most antagonistic dialogue option after an NPC barely slighted him, then he'd cry about getting into fights all the time.

 

[Negative Toxic Loser]

Some more comments from Phil's website. Nothing of significance, but I thought I'd keep up with it either way.

Spoiler

View attachment 5563101
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How in the absolute fuck is it possible to post 13 THOUSAND times on Dave's dead forum?

 

[clothes in my closet]

From what I saw, Phil peaked at around 770 viewers today, during his first hour of gameplay - roughly, half of the 1400 something he had two days ago. It's incredibly organic to just lose half of your viewership, dood.

Also, someone in Phil's chat asked him about the $200 "troll tip" that Phil said would certainly get charged back. He spewed a ton of word salad about how chargebacks are very nebulous and hard to contest, none of which answered the question "what happened to the $200?" and then he told that person that they shouldn't even be asking about it in the first place, so it's probably safe to say that money is fucking gone.

EDIT: As I'm typing this, Phil is sitting at $115 - $20 from 1MM, $40 from "Dame Aylin" a BG3 reference , $10 from Anonymous, $5 from "Tony Salami", $15 from "Panini Jim", $5 from "Liutenant Boink", and a few other small tips from random stupid names. So apart from the pity tips from PlayCool92 that Comma mentioned previously, this stream is completely funded by sock shit.

10 memberships from Burnt Zapato.

EDIT 2: Another $20 and $4.20 , both from Anonymous. He ended on $140.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

From what I saw, Phil peaked at around 770 viewers today, during his first hour of gameplay - roughly, half of the 1400 something he had two days ago. It's incredibly organic to just lose half of your viewership, dood.

Also, someone in Phil's chat asked him about the $200 "troll tip" that Phil said would certainly get charged back. He spewed a ton of word salad about how chargebacks are very nebulous and hard to contest, none of which answered the question "what happened to the $200?" and then he told that person that they shouldn't even be asking about it in the first place, so it's probably safe to say that money is fucking gone.

Dave has clearly been botted at times lately, so it's hard to tell how real any numbers are.

 

[Lord_Point]

From what I saw, Phil peaked at around 770 viewers today, during his first hour of gameplay - roughly, half of the 1400 something he had two days ago. It's incredibly organic to just lose half of your viewership, dood.

Also, someone in Phil's chat asked him about the $200 "troll tip" that Phil said would certainly get charged back. He spewed a ton of word salad about how chargebacks are very nebulous and hard to contest, none of which answered the question "what happened to the $200?" and then he told that person that they shouldn't even be asking about it in the first place, so it's probably safe to say that money is fucking gone.

The first rule of business is to spend 110% of your revenue as soon as it hits your account, if not before it even hits your account. You need to spend today's money TODAY. Tomorrows expences are future phils problem, AKA your problem, please tip.

This is basically successful business man 101.

 

[JimiHendrix]

alright, i rolled out of bed and phil is streaming at a nice 1:48pm. let's get this gameplay, fat boy.

Spoiler: The Baldening

phil is now redoing the bandit fight and yelling at people for telling him to turn off karmic dice because he doesn't know what that is and people telling him what to do is upsetting him.

"double your movement speed? does that mean you can move further?"

what the fuck do you think it means dude.

phil started off the bandit fight by hitting the explosive barrel and pretty much killed all of the bandits instantly, which makes his low IQ raging from last night pretty funny.

he is being advised to turn off Karmic dice and he doesn't understand why it's on to begin with. "what's the point of having a dice roll if it's not random?" because some people don't find randomness fun phil, in fact, some people scream about boss attacks in games being random and not being pre-defined patterns that can be predicted. some people...in this very house....often say randomness doesn't belong in games.

for some bizarre reason phil button mashed during a dice roll segment and passed the dice roll, but he has no idea what he rolled. if you ever want proof of phils tendency to mash, he just mashed on a fucking dice roll.

phil is frustrated the extremely in-depth CRPG has a lot of inventory management

"another locked door? if I use this I'll waste my thieves kit, right?"

why would using a lockpick to open a locked door be a waste of the item?

phil just says things with absolutely no value or thought behind it.

"this is like 400 game mechanics"

all you did was try to attack a door.

phil gets a tutorial pop up, reads it out, then immediately leans over to chat to have them explain the tutorial to him.

he's been quick saving every few steps since someone told him it was an option.

phil has failed two dice rolls with two separate characters to open a book he wants.

i don't think Phil understands how dice work. he keeps saying shit like "I don't think I can do this. it needs an 8 or above" like, mate, you're using a 20 sided dice? the odds are in your favor?

despite me saying this tho he rolled a 1, critical failure.

he failed to read the book of the dead gods, so he just gave up. something real funny about phil failing 4 dice rolls to read a book.

"I get it, it says reduced movement due to ray of frost, what does that mean though?"

phil is also confused that being hidden does not equal 100% invisibility.

he is now struggling to understand the concept of concentration, which is all kinds of hilarious.

"what is all this blue shit? what does that mean?"

you're using a spell with knockback properties and lines appear showing movement, what do you think it means?

"it';s too complicated, too much going on, there's no way to even know what's a good attack. should I use this or not? i don't fucking know"

he's so upset over having to use even a SMIDGEN of his 74iq. If he can't run up and start mashing square the game is too confusing. he's spent more time leaning over looking at chat then he has looking at the screen.

he expects to just know everything 100% off the bat and the idea of fucking around and finding out is just beyond him. he takes "I don't know" as a negative instead of a chance to learn and explore.

phil is shocked that an in-depth RPG gives you 6 different possible answers in a conversation.

"these are all absolutes, if you read all of these as absolutes, two and six are the same answer when you think about it, I'm gonna say 2."

so phil picked one of the only fence sitting answers, shocker.

"let's do a short rest, oh, I don't have any short rests allowed. great."

Astarion and Shadowheart start having some banter, phil notices and goes "what the fuck are they gabbing about?" he then talks over them to ask his fans if he should rest at camp or not.

phil doesn't know the difference between sorcerer and wizard and Gale is being condescending to him over it. it amused me.

for those who don't know, Wizard = educated and trained the art of magic, Sorcerer = just born different and can toss lightning bolts because of blood right.

"it's too bad you can't ask him about when he dies why his message pops up, but I guess you can't do that until he dies?"

how the fuck would you do it before he dies phil? how do you want the game to offer you the ability to ask about something you haven't seen yet?

phil wants to know if there's a negative to trying to mind rape gale.

he has made it to the Druids Grove

"I don't think you can make separate save files on console"

phil had to be told how to save his game by his chat. the menu was too confusing.

he has made lae'zel a battle-master incase anyone cares.

"why is it using a different language? who wrote this language? why do I have to use a different language to play this game? did they ever hear of english?"

he's saying this because of the term "1d8 damage" which to my knowledge means 1 dice, 8 sides. not hard.

alright, that's the end. in a 4 hour stream phil did the Withers crypt and got to the Druids Grove. That's literally it. that's all he did in 4 hours. i know you kids want funny observations or statements on how and why he's fucking up, but he's moving at a snails pace and nothing is happening. i don';t expect anything funny until he gets to the Goblin camp.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

The only thing I can add to this is. 6 FUCKING HOURS. It has taken this mongoloid 6 hours to just reach the grove.

Every single move he makes during combat is run by chat. Even fucking shopping was too complicated for him

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Dave loves the dice rolls, they're close enough to a gacha fix. Even though he never understands them.