Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AnOminous]

High end restaurant coffee is not fucking Breakfast Blend which is one of the weakest tasting coffees out there. Just goes to show he drinks his coffee weak.

I believe we've seen Jack brew a couple times and you could literally see through it. Weak-ass shit, like Jack himself.

 

[p1138]

Properly made pizza is going to blister and have black spots on it. I mean I go get a Margherita pizza and I expect some black bits on it. After all you're cooking it in an 800 degree wood burning oven. Bits are going to get burnt.

Of course, and as long as it isn't actually just burnt, those bits add to the flavor profile of the pizza. Bitter is an aspect of taste and in appropriate amounts can add to the flavor of something in a positive way. Like I said, Fatty can't handle that because he has the palette of a toddler that won't put up with anything more complicated than chicken tendies with sauce. Since the burnt spots aren't contributing to the "meat gud", or his other foodgroups grease and cheese, he hates it.

 

[She Brings The Rain]

There's two reasons to get a Margherita pizza.

1. It's fucking delicious. Good tomatoes, fresh basil and buffalo mozzarella go very well with each other.
2. It's too simple so none of the ingredients can hide.

It's literally my test when going to a new pizza place and that's to try their Margherita pizza. If they can make a good one then they can make a good pizza. If they can't then don't bother coming back.

I just got back from a local pizza place, and since I'm a godless heathen that doesn't eat meat, a good Margherita is my go-to. Massive tomatoes that burst in your mouth, and good, stretchy mozzarella - like you said, hard to fuck up, but also hard to do well. Fatty would take one look at the blistering and charred spots and immediately write the pizza off as "overcooked" and "not gud."

I'd give my left kidney to see Jack try to review a straight up vegetarian restaurant.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Yeah like many folks I started watching CWJ to laugh at his galactic incompetence, but then I saw the infamous church chili cookoff video and realized he's not only retarded, he's a top-shelf turd. Nobody appreciated that he tried to poison them with the "chili" that he slopped together out of festering garbage, and that's because the contest was rigged! See how the system oppresses hardworking Godly patriots such as Jack Scalfani!

In the Scalfani family even the "nice" or "normal" ones are dysgenic losers too. His brother is one of those "intellectual" dipshits who accepts every crank theory he hears from Jeff Rense. Of course compared to Jack he's a titan of reason.

Rense is a treasure. His voice is golden silk.

 

[Peace Or Love]

I'd give my left kidney to see Jack try to review a straight up vegetarian restaurant.

Your kidney is safe, the parasitic worms that control his flesh husk would shrivel up and die if he doesn't get enough (raw) meat per meal.

 

[p1138]

I just got back from a local pizza place, and since I'm a godless heathen that doesn't eat meat, a good Margherita is my go-to. Massive tomatoes that burst in your mouth, and good, stretchy mozzarella - like you said, hard to fuck up, but also hard to do well. Fatty would take one look at the blistering and charred spots and immediately write the pizza off as "overcooked" and "not gud."

I'd give my left kidney to see Jack try to review a straight up vegetarian restaurant.

Presentation was great, the flavors brought out were GUD, he just doesn't like that combination of flavors and the service was slow. Fatty has now "tried" a healthier lifestyle by eating 1 overly large meal at a vegan restaurant.

You can donate your Kidney to https://tennesseekidneyfoundation.org/ as it'll see a good new home in the Scalfani household when Fatty finally finishes destroying his own.

 

[Guntanator]

Please tell me someone has this stream archive!

 

[desudesu]

View attachment 5567880
What’s the lore on Ken Blazek? I thought he was a card carrying member of the Jackstapo since he mods for Jack’s chat and Facebook group but every now and then I feel like he is shitting on the fat man. Undercover hadur?This is just one recent example where I felt this was the case.

Ken and Rob are in it together. Ken is confirmed to be a longtime PCTLM fan and troll, and has somehow managed to infiltrate the 'Jackstapo' pretending to be Jack's friend.

Doing that is really easy anyways - just "suck up" to Jack and never prove him wrong...although Ken has flown too close to the sun once and almost nearly pissed our fat dictator off.

With regards to the latest livestream, fatty DFE'd the stream because Hammy got called out committing tax fraud in the chat and people constantly asking Jack about Qali imitating Mickey Mouse and saying nigger in the background of his Smores video.

I hope someone recorded the stream, we haven't witnessed fatty this angy on livestream in a long while.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I saw the live stream. I honesty don’t think Jack was getting pressed too hard or personally except for the tax question. But the beads of sweat were definitely forming on his beluga melon as he got ANGY.

The questions were funny. The answers were funny.

Jack could have had handled this all much better. But he bounced around topics so much you couldn’t follow him anyways. He would stop mid-thought and switch topics as chats came in and rattled him. He was surprisingly lucid about the EV question, which is odd because he normally rages on and on about EV’s in his socials. But I guess Beluga Brother and ASMR enjoyer, Charles Scalfani, has a Tesla now. So Jack has shifted his outlook on EV’s appropriately.

 

[lindsayfan]

Properly made pizza is going to blister and have black spots on it. I mean I go get a Margherita pizza and I expect some black bits on it. After all you're cooking it in an 800 degree wood burning oven. Bits are going to get burnt.

jack is literally this meme


also jr hollering slurs in the background is one of the more hilarious white-trash new developments in the extended jackverse. in my imagination Jr is going negative in modern warfare or some other call of duty game on a 60" tv and tweens are bullying him in vc

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I'd give my left kidney to see Jack try to review a straight up vegetarian restaurant.

That would be hilarious. Like he got bitten by one of those ticks that give you a meat allergy. Se he goes to some crappy Indian place and only order things where dal, paneer and other non-meat things are the protein in the dish. Knowing he could be ordering something with meat in it but he can't because he risks going into anaphylaxis. Meanwhile Hammy and Jr ^ 2 are there eating meat and he's just seething that he can't do so.

And of course his precious carnivore diet would go out the window.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

That would be hilarious. Like he got bitten by one of those ticks that give you a meat allergy. Se he goes to some crappy Indian place and only order things where dal, paneer and other non-meat things are the protein in the dish. Knowing he could be ordering something with meat in it but he can't because he risks going into anaphylaxis. Meanwhile Hammy and Jr ^ 2 are there eating meat and he's just seething that he can't do so.

And of course his precious carnivore diet would go out the window.

Fun fact, that induced allergy doesn't affect chicken or seafood. Jack would have to give up pulpork and his incinerated ends, but the wendigo would still find flesh to eat.

But Jack also thinks he can outsmart reality, so I don't doubt for a moment that he'll see he can still eat seafood, wiggle his remaining fingers in glee, and order surf and turf. Its fine, it has seafood right? Wonder if Tammy would post the final video as it kills him.

 

[p1138]

That would be hilarious. Like he got bitten by one of those ticks that give you a meat allergy. Se he goes to some crappy Indian place and only order things where dal, paneer and other non-meat things are the protein in the dish. Knowing he could be ordering something with meat in it but he can't because he risks going into anaphylaxis. Meanwhile Hammy and Jr ^ 2 are there eating meat and he's just seething that he can't do so.

And of course his precious carnivore diet would go out the window.

He already did it in my post above as a "celebration" or whatever when he got the free car for a few months(seriously... this fucking guy has no clue how lucky he is, even if it was a ford fiesta that's not putting mileage on your own vehicle, and I think it came with a card for gas). He whines and jokes repeatedly how he and his friends are "meat eaters" and "still hungry" since vegan food apparently can't fill him up.

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

One thing I notice with Jack's movie reviews is he says "it was gud, no political agendas" about like every single movie. He even said this about The Marvels. It makes me wonder if he is even able to notice subtle political agendas or if the characters would literally have to look directly at the camera and address the audience with a monologue about feminism, race politics, and voting for specific candidates for him to discern that there was a 'political agenda' in a movie.

 

[p1138]

One thing I notice with Jack's movie reviews is he says "it was gud, no political agendas" about like every single movie. He even said this about The Marvels. It makes me wonder if he is even able to notice subtle political agendas or if the characters would literally have to look directly at the camera and address the audience with a monologue about feminism, race politics, and voting for specific candidates for him to discern that there was a 'political agenda' in a movie.

That's not what a "political agenda" is for Fatty. His idea of a "political agenda" is the gays existing at any point during the film even in just the background.

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

View attachment 5567880
What’s the lore on Ken Blazek? I thought he was a card carrying member of the Jackstapo since he mods for Jack’s chat and Facebook group but every now and then I feel like he is shitting on the fat man. Undercover hadur?This is just one recent example where I felt this was the case.

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

Who the hell builds a studio kitchen and then puts Samsung products in it? Could it be that maybe his tax write off grift very serious professional YouTube career cannot afford him professional level appliances?

Jeez, he's just so popular it seems like Viking would want to sponsor him!

 

[p1138]

Who the hell builds a studio kitchen and then puts Samsung products in it? Could it be that maybe his tax write off grift very serious professional YouTube career cannot afford him professional level appliances?

Jeez, he's just so popular it seems like Viking would want to sponsor him!

A moron who has never seen or used professional equipment, so he thinks Samsung is top of the line. Remember, Fatty has never actually worked in a kitchen at any point.

 

[Pig Cups]

A moron who has never seen or used professional equipment, so he thinks Samsung is top of the line. Remember, Fatty has never actually worked in a kitchen at any point.

Imagine the pure bewilderment on Jack's face if he heard the names JennAir, Thermador, Wolf, Sub-Zero, and Miele.

It's been said to death, but it's times like these where I'm once again reminded of the hilarity of him LARPing as a cooking show host without knowledge of the most basic shit.

 

[p1138]

Imagine the pure bewilderment on Jack's face if he heard the names JennAir, Thermador, Wolf, Sub-Zero, and Miele.

It's been said to death, but it's times like these where I'm once again reminded of the hilarity of him LARPing as a cooking show host without knowledge of the most basic shit.

Don't forget how he'll also talk up some made in china bullshit bottom of the barrel brand junk he got on amazon at the same time as not recognizing any professional equipment brands.. Comfee, Vevor... Hamilton Beach is about as "high end" as equipment gets for Fatty lol.