I think part of the appeal of BMJ is that he's not political. Almost every other cow (including all the troons) is up to their neck in politics, Pat included, and I get it's just funny to watch someone smoke crack and punch holes in the wall whilst losing enough money to buy a decent used car every single day. I enjoyed BMJ for a couple of weeks after his discovery, but I quickly got tired of him, he's very repetitive and once you've seen him throw his keyboard once, it doesn't really get any more interesting the second time.
Fat, whilst his politics can be tedious, brings new and fresh idiocy every day. Every time I log in, I can come to the thread and he's being an idiot in a new and interesting way that he has not been before. If you want the dreaded CWC comparison, that's what they have in common - the sheer variety of lunacy. Chris kept people coming back because you didn't know what he was going to do next, and Fat is the same. But Fat's supporting cast are arguably even better than CWC's, because CWC didn't hang around with other retards and his only supporting cast were trolls, many of whom were repugnant people (Bluespike, ILJ). Pat's trolls are all hilarious, intentionally (stalker toilet) or unintentionally (nice sinks, stupid), but Pat also brings the very cream of Twitter retards with him. We have Fatty Singh, Nokes, Volcano Virgin, Hildy and now Jim Stewartson who may be the most unhinged of them all. Fat has his own self-sustaining retard economy in a way that maybe only Chantal (and maybe Cyrax) has.
Fat also strikes the happy medium between instant gratification and long-term sagas that CWC had too. BMJ is a fast-food cow, a good hit of flavour but you can't really subsist on a diet of it. There's no depth there, but you can pop into the thread for a hearty lol. Someone like Amberlynn or DSP have whole novels worth of autistic lore that you have to learn before you can appreciate them, but the appeal is incomprehensible to outsiders. They also produce huge quantities of content, which you have to sift through for hours to find any funny, most of what they produce is just boring. Patrick is never boring. There's deep lore to Patrick, the true connoisseur knows about the Lappening and the Quasi saga, but for the newbie there's him arguing with his toilet on Twitter every single day, you don't need to know anything about him to find that funny.
That's why Fat is the best cow on the site and has been since Chris went to jail. Quantity of content, quality of content, variety of content, supporting cast, quality of trolls.
Vote Fat 2023. Failure to do so constitutes felony lolcow ranking.
