Why is everything so gendered self.ftm
Submitted 10 days ago by
ImaginaryEmotion5650
I was in the makeup section with my sister and some worker used me as a reference to show my mom where smth was, saying something like "just behind her" and pointed to me. Then I went to a dif store and just wanted to try on some mens pants to see how my packer fits in them to make me feel better about getting missgendered and the guy went out of his way to point me to the womens dressing room after I went towards the mens and I was too scared to go to the mens anyways so I walked to the womens.
And it made me have a breakdown.
Then I went to show my mom the pants and just said "look!

" and she brushed me off saying its just joggers. Then I ran to cry in the bathroom but by now was too scared to go to the mens so
I had to cry In the WOMENS bathroom which made it 100 times worse.
Why do we even need gendered bathrooms or dressing rooms I just wanted to try on pants and then cry. Why does it matter my gender which side I go.
I know its cause my hair grew out but I have a haircut in 2 days and I just wish I passed at all. I love my mullet but I used to pass with short hair, dysphoria is making me wanna cut it off. I hate being pre T I wanna pass, I want people to stop being so weird and transphobic.
If I go towards the mens which has a HUGE mens sign then MAYBE I MEANT TO. And its not like he was js telling me I might be going to the wrong one he POINTED aggressively. Like I was gonna unlock all the doors and look at everyone's bits or smth.
I just wanted to see my dick in some pants. And I was already feeling really dysphoric today.
My ribs are hurting but I don't think I'll stop binding for awhile now.