Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[AnOminous]

Nick said he never partied until he was 40.

What about all those parties he said he had where he had everyone strip down to their underwear? Totally pickled brain, can't keep his stories straight. Well, most of his stories are pretty gay to tell the truth.

I'd really not be surprised if Balldo came out as gay or at least bi to save face and have sex with men while his wife sleeps with bulls.

I could see him unironically saying "I have. Relationships. With women. And sex. With. Men."

 

[AltisticRight]

A DUI arrest is on my 2024 bingo card. Anyone else?

• Another swinger/sex resort trip or themed Airbnb
• Another shower call
• IRL lolcow crossover with Juju, Ethan Ralph etc
• Gloats about KF getting hit with DDoS/deplatformed again
• Nudes
• More trouble with inlaws, church, family
• Spergs at individual posts in his thread

Nick knows jackshit about anything and anything he does know he learned for the sole purpose of looking like he knows what he's talking about. Everything he does is an effort to affect how people see him because that's all he cares about.

Balldo is an expert in:
- Swinging
- Cuckoldry
- Sex toys

 

[prolapsed_cranium]

Don't you get it? It's funny because he's actually gay! A faggot! Flaming!

He literally claimed it was simultaneously meth AND not an amphetamine. It does have "methamphetamine" in its chemical name, but that's not the same as actually being meth. It's "amphetamine-like" but it's also like mescaline.

"Look guys, this is called Pervatin or Benzedrine. It's not meth otherwise they would have called it meth."

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

He wishes his Mustang has AWD. He heard Corvettes did. but they are so expensive. April or May he will be able to use it. He wants to drive out to see Coomalot in it or a long drive.

I remember when I suggested he get an Audi. It'd be faster, more horsepower, awd, and cheaper. But wtf do I know?
Also, didn't the nigger spend 100k on his pos? an e-ray vette starts at 115k iirc. OH THE HUMANITY. It's ugly as sin, but he doesn't have taste so whatever.

If he wanted sporty, luxurious, and AWD, he should have gone with something like an Audi.

He said Audis were too old. Because the nigger doesn't understand how car models work. Does he know his mustang is ancient by his logic?

It's also worth pointing out that Corvettes are exclusively rear wheel drive as well.

They're not. They're also for faggots. It's literally the perfect car for him.

It was discussed a few dozen pages ago. Maybe somebody can chime in as to whether it has cat people.

Illium and Olympus have a lot of gratuitous sexuality (There's an analogous scene to the prince finding Sleeping Beauty, and guess how he wakes her?) interspersed with pretentious literary stylings. I gave a summary review back then, but it is pretentious and somewhat degenerate like much of the late Heinlein and onward old Science-Fiction--even Orsen Scott Card used some of it in his earlier writings. It is a return to form that no one asked for. At some point, inserting so much sex makes it a soap opera or a trashy romance novel.

Maybe I won't listen to / read this book.

**Space is still available!**

Divorce of course of course.
Dick Slip on stream.
Nudes.
Quit streaming / huge alteration to the show schedule.

 

[ChromaQuack]

Just came to this thread from community events, whats with the Balldo how is that supposed to even work like how do you put that on?

Also Nick said something about his wife like her body being ruined because of the kids, could someone link me to where he said that?

And what the fuck is Hedonism 2? and whats all this talk about putting a bottle up his ass is that figuritive or literal?

I feel like this thread was co-opted by the anti-weeb wars guys because you all seem to be spreading rumours about Nick having a trust fund or that he was a bad lawyer (he still practices to this day IIRC)

@Himedall All-seeing Waifu

Spoiler

This is a parody post, this is what people will be asking because the OP still hasn't been updated

You've already done this bit twice in the thread, why don't you go and have a nice, long drink of isopropyl alcohol and come back when you're feeling better?

 

[Farmer Y]

Is there a space for his Release of How to be Successful Youtuber series yet?

 

[Captain Manning]

If you'd like to take back over, please go ahead. You can just consider that post an organization of things. I merely took a few minutes inbetween other things to at least put something together.

Nah, yours looks much nicer and is pretty close to mine as far as what's on it. Keep going.

I would also ask @Himedall All-seeing Waifu to put it at the bottom of the updated OP when it's done. It'll be genuinely fun to see what predictions come true.

 

[Chibitzen]

IMO, the center should be something like Seethes in Kitchen or Gets Legal Prediction Wrong. The 5k gift is not going to happening, but people should have known that beforehand. Anyone who subscribed in hopes of getting a gift deserves to be laughed at more than Rekieta.

Yes, but that's what makes it so good. It's a jab at both him and his fans. Though "Seethes in Kitchen" is pretty funny too.

Nah, yours looks much nicer and is pretty close to mine as far as what's on it. Keep going.

Gotcha.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

This is odd.

 

[Chibitzen]

Is there a space for his Release of How to be Successful Youtuber series yet?

He'd have to rename it to "How NOT to be a Youtuber" at this point for it to resemble anything remotely "successful".

We've run out of space unless people want to make this a lottery and run multiple cards (I'm OK with doing this). Nick just can't stop winning, can he? He has so much sucking to get out of the way this year.

A very busy man, indeed.

View attachment 5641072

This is odd.

Do we have space for "Failed Morning Streamer"?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

You know, it would be really interesting to do a study on what makes the American Jew so pathetic in comparison to their counterparts in other countries. Maybe it's just the media bullshit where the most pathetic are thrown into the spotlight while things like Shomrim lay the beatdown on the darkies behind the scenes.

Spoiler: Jew sperging

American Jews are not a monolith. Unfortunately the most prominent ones are strident assimilationists who absolutely hate Jews who do what Jews have been commanded to do for thousands of years. If you want to see voracious antisemitism, ask a non-Orthdox Jew what they think of Jews who keep the Torah. They’re arrogant enough to think they know better than their ancestors, thanks to whose observance of Torah they were born in the first place.

Most of these Jews in denial were raised by assimilationist parents who never gave them a Jewish education or any grounding in Torah, which is legit tragic. The general attitude among Orthodox Jews is that it’s too bad and they should not be vilified for it but instead should be encouraged to keep “one more mitzvah“ (meaning commandment, not “good deed”) because that will beget more mitzvahs. There is a touching degree of suspended judgment of those who lived through the Shoah and rejected religion completely, since God only knows what that does to a person and that’s between them and God.

Meanwhile non-Orthodox Jews despise observant Jews for choosing to distinguish themselves religiously and make themselves visibly Jewish. Whereas Orthodox Jews know that blending in with the natives always leads to trouble and besides, Jews are commanded not to do that. Funnily enough, those who are visibly Jewish bear the brunt of Jew hatred but the assimilationists complain about it like it’s their full-time job — while also having nothing positive to say about Orthodox Jews.

It’s too bad DUI Guy is one of those who are selling themselves short by rejecting his Jewishness. Still, at least he’s insistent on marrying within the tribe instead of marrying out and ending his family’s chain of Jewishness going back to Mt. Sinai. He’s delusional to think he’s going to meet a Jewish woman with Jewish values who’s based and not Orthodox. The majority of frum Jews are based, such that the exceptions are real outsiders and start their own movements under the guise of Orthodoxy that are not actually Orthodox. If DUI Guy would deign to associate with observant Jews, he’d realize that Orthodox matchmakers are eager to find non-Orthodox spouses for non-Orthodox Jews. But he seems pretty determined to reject everything that makes Yids Yidden in favor of lox and bagels meaningless bullshit and psychotic egalitarianism.

I bet Ron Coleman and Joe Good Lawgic are the only Orthodox Jews he knows. He should ask them/their wives to match him up.

@Chibitzen I’m not saying I hope you make a million dollars, but I wish I was mature enough not to be salty that after I asked for someone to make a Nick bingo card, my one suggestion for a square (lies about nonexistent KF narrative about him) was not included. But that’s my fault for trying to offload the work onto others.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

This is odd.

Rekieta says at the top of the stream that he "had some emergency - not emergency. Woah. Not an emergency. I had some surprise plans pop up for tonight, and was not ready for them to happen, but, they're happening, and that means this stream has to be a little bit shorter."

He plans to stream for an hour.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Rekieta says at the top of the stream that he "had some emergency - not emergency. Woah. Not an emergency. I had some surprise plans pop up for tonight, and was not ready for them to happen, but, they're happening, and that means this stream has to be a little bit shorter."

He plans to stream for an hour.

Drug run. Must feel lame, not to do it in the rustang.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

View attachment 5641072

This is odd.

I bet he’ll be on fine form at 9:30AM after drinking until 5AM and waking up at 7. Car crash seems likely — both literally and on his morning stream.

 

[Chibitzen]

@Chibitzen I’m not saying I hope you make a million dollars, but I wish I was mature enough not to be salty that after I asked for someone to make a Nick bingo card, my one suggestion for a square (lies about nonexistent KF narrative about him) was not included. But that’s my fault for trying to offload the work onto others.

I didn't read that far back, I just saw @Captain Manning's post and saw it as a random encounter (*Fuck, I have to go look now). I was trying to figure out if you were literally asking for "Jew Sperging" to be added to a space, but I see now where you posted something else. I have a space that says "Gloats about Kiwifarms Again". I feel like that could fit a lot of it.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Rekieta says at the top of the stream that he "had some emergency - not emergency. Woah. Not an emergency. I had some surprise plans pop up for tonight, and was not ready for them to happen, but, they're happening, and that means this stream has to be a little bit shorter."

He plans to stream for an hour.

The bulls must have cum early this week.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I didn't read that far back, I just saw @Captain Manning's post and saw it as a random encounter.

It’s not that deep; I was just amused and wanted an excuse to make my first “hope you make a million dollars” gag, a full four months after everyone else ITT.

I think it would be fun to see how many variations of Balldo Bingo we can come up with. I might give it a shot next time I can’t sleep.

 

[Chibitzen]

Rekieta says at the top of the stream that he "had some emergency - not emergency. Woah. Not an emergency. I had some surprise plans pop up for tonight, and was not ready for them to happen, but, they're happening, and that means this stream has to be a little bit shorter."

He plans to stream for an hour.

Good for him to let us know we shant be worried about his very important problems. Funny how all his surprises seem to happen after 10PM.

 

[miss ethanol]

Very quick creation. Corrections and criticism warranted (and an image for the header if you'd like to contribute). I'm thinking of adding a police car pulling someone over at the top...

**Space is still available!**

I added non-DUI arrest and a renewal of his vow that he is "not a law channel".

-Praises American beauty again
-2 hour+ livestream meltdown
-Formal breakup with Sean
-Mentions growing in poverty and/or being from the hood

 

[Pomniman]

Greetings friends. I've returned from the Rastafarian underworld, and employing esoteric methods of Nigromancy conveyed by the Energii KANGs themselves, the spirit of Gonzalo Lira has spoken through me. This is what he had to say: