Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Swole McPole]

"You have pictures of my mom naked? You actually downloaded that shit, and showed everyone at school? What's wrong with you? You're more fucked up than she is?"

"Look, I don't care about what weird sex shit your mom and dad do but my parents won't let me come over to your house to hang out. They're worried that your dad might try and strap on the Balldo, or the train of melanated men queued up to service your mom might get bored waiting for her and try to fuck me instead."

 

[polar bear]

What if that 'worst day of his life' was finding out the kids weren't his?

I had that same exact thought for a long time so it can't be a baseless schizo theory lol. For the sake of the children - I hope it's true. Groping massage therapist must possess a much better genome than Nick

 

[1 other person]

Why is he mad lol it's reasonable why everybody thinks they're swinging:
goes to swingers bars
^ gets mistaken as swingers by other swingers
addicted to porn
goes to a swingers resort
best friend is a bull
adds hedo bulls on IG
gets DMs from swingers
jacuzzis with swingers
building a sex dungeon
openly lusts for other women
I mean it does kinda all add up; and his idiotic non-defense is "we were virgins when we got married" make it make sense!

The ways I sees it is, if he's not a swinger then he must be gay. But if he is a swinger, that explains why he's so gay.

 

[LemonParty]

I'll let the man explain it to you himself:

JUST DONT EAT. Drink a bottle of whisky a day and eat a snickers bar. Watch your brain rot. Listen to the voices of the helpful cats living inside your ceiling. You too can be a healthy ghoulish skeleton man like Nick.

Nick confirmed for low testosterone. Not like we didn't already know this but I'd just like to state it here.

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

I had that same exact thought for a long time so it can't be a baseless schizo theory lol. For the sake of the children - I hope it's true. Groping massage therapist must possess a much better genome than Nick

But how could someone have 5 kids and not even realize that they aren't related- oh wait- this is Nick Rekieta we are talking about. Never mind, checks out.

 

[Incel Death Note]

Nick confirmed for low testosterone. Not like we didn't already know this but I'd just like to state it here.

View attachment 5755191

Also:

LOW T REKIETA

 

[John Andrews Stan]

What if that 'worst day of his life' was finding out the kids weren't his?

The kids bear a very strong resemblance to Nick.

This fanfic doesn’t help btw.

 

[Shlomo XL]

I may not have anything funny to say about Rekieta.

Spoiler: Layers

EDIT:

Folie à deux isn't just the name of a Fall Out Boy album.

Correct - it's also a Tipper track!

 

[Spaded Dave]

Narcissists are some of the most manipulative people in the world. They are also some of the easiest to manipulate people in the world for the exact same reasons. Honestly, I think Kayla and Nick are two low-IQ narcissists accidentally manipulating each other to further and further depths and neither of them have enough synapses firing to realize it due to their respective vices.

If my understanding is correct, this shit happened during the scare of covid.

This is actually eye-opening for me. I already knew Nick was a lying liar who lies, and I'll admit to curiosity as to what the real story is, but barring John sharing his side this actually provides some illuminating context.

Rewatching the Dear John rant with COVID in mind, you can piece together a lot of the paths Lickieta probably took.

Spoiler: Stuff

"You don't have money and can't afford ___!" or "You're on Social Security! HAHA LOSER!" that he brought up multiple times? Dude probably had trouble finding work and income for the same reasons so many others did at the time.

"Your family wants nothing to do with you!" juxtaposed with the contradictory "I tried to buy you a bus ticket to see your family!". Were buses even running during COVID? Even if so I could see someone who bought into the COVID thing, especially if they had an exacerbating disability, not wanting to take that risk. Did his family even "disown" him or were they simply "socially distancing"?

The feeling suicidal and "crippling anxiety" was pretty fucking common for people who bought into the COVID thing at the time as well. A lot of this shit seems a lot more normal with COVID in the backdrop.

"You can't hold a job!" I know I took for granted being able to continue working without skipping a beat. Nick DEFINITELY takes it for granted. A lot of people couldn't "hold a job" during COVID.

I won't continue listing everything, but it's a fun exercise to go back and watch this with COVID in mind. If John is willing to share the real story I'm interested to hear it, but if not then my fanfic farms book will suffice with this missing piece of the puzzle.

Bonus fun: Something that is amusing to me every time I hear this rant. Watch for when he punctuates his points in the middle as if he reached the conclusion of what he wanted to say and then has to scramble as he realizes he didn't actually finish talking. "You paid $5 to a YouTuber to be your friend and then he DID.........give you friendly advice". It cracks me up and I don't know why.

 

[Pomniman]

This hurt Nick. I can tell that Nick is the type of man who probably spent his whole life chasing daddy's approval. He got a law degree because that is what his father wanted. He married Kayla because that is what his father wanted. He had a lot of children because that is what his father wanted. Yet his dad never once told him; "I'm proud of you son." Which is what he wants but never will get and it eats at him. Even at his most successful it wasn't good enough for his dad. He realize this and started drinking to cope. This lead him to finding a new father figure in Juju and him just spiraling from there.
That is just my theory though. I have this theory as all the men who idolize Juju have daddy issues and bad relationships with their father. Nick is no expectation.

Somewhat plausible, though it might be a lot more petty than that. Given his American Beauty obsession I'd say it was probably more of a sense that no one in his life really appreciated him or took him seriously no matter how much money he was making. Even before the implosion proper he was already "joking" about his impending mid-life crisis and how he'd just have to lean into it by buying an overpriced car and doing other stupid shit. I've been saying this for a while but my main takeaway is that no one ever respected him in the exact way he wanted to be respected and that led to him becoming a bitter cucked out shell of a creature.

 

[Dr. Jaime Reyes]

What if the Balldo has one of those classic JRPG curse mechanics and Nick has to use it in combat 255 times before he can be free of its malign influence

 

[Mike Stoklasas Spock Ears]

A Brief History of Kayla Rekieta (in this thread)

Would also like to bring up Our Wife’s Pinterest again as a data point. It might be one of the reasons why people ITT cut Kayla a break/cite Nick as the instigator of the degeneracy and not the other way around as the Faran leaks suggest. I think both are equally likely. Once they got their hands on money that didn’t have strings attached they both couldn’t wait to rebel.

Kayla Rekieta (@mommakay1117) on Pinterest [archive]

 

[Spaded Dave]

no one ever respected him in the exact way he wanted to be respected

Nick wants to be seen as a hard-working, self-made man who took a path few others have the intellect and work ethic required to pursue, winding up as an elite among society. It's why he worked at banks for his early jobs and picked "lawyer" as his pretend profession. Lawyer is a position that stereotypically was considered an intelligent and "elite" job. The problem for Nick is that by the time he got into it people were already waking up to the fact that lawyers were retards and not just scumbags.

It boils down to Nick being a trust fund baby who never had to work hard a day in his life, stumbling his way into a low-effort and easy job that catered to his narcissism and desire for approval. Even at his HEAVIEST workload, he still never really needed to do much show prep. He reads documents and reacts to them as a "lawyer" that doesn't ever have to worry about being proven right or wrong. The maximum show prep he ever had to do was "Let's google current events and see what I should talk about today". Very noticeable when it is missing, but hardly earth-shattering work when it's there. So his "work" amounts to simply spending time sitting in front of a screen and talking.

His entire life is the antithesis of what he wants to be perceived as. That must eat at him on the deepest level he can feel, especially when other people bring it up. It's why he exaggerates how hard his life is and how hard his show is while simultaneously wanting to look like he's got it on easy street. Because he wants people to think his life is some massive difficulty, but he's handling it so fucking well we should be jealous.

The funny thing is that the one thing he actually can accomplish that would be impressive and worthy of respect is raising and caring for his wife and 5 kids. And he fucking HATES it. We have all seen how much he despises his family and kids. The reason? It's the one thing that has ever been in his life that actually requires work, and he is likely failing at it. Sure his kids aren't going to die, probably. That fact is something he probably tries his best to hide behind. But kids not dying is the default position. I'm sure he sees every day the damage his and Kayla's poor parenting has done to their kids and resents the fact that it would take even more work to fix/prevent it. Don't get me wrong, by the way. It's not that he cares about the well-being of his children. He just cares about how their success/failure represents him as a father and his success.

 

[Fapcop]

Wait I didn't know she has ink for that long. Streamers should never even acknowledge their spouses exist and largely avoid the entire subject. Definitely don't bring them on stream.


My wife only started following Nick about two years ago. Just yesterday I was watching that "I've changed" clip after work. She arrived home, walked in, looked at the TV and more or less said "Holy shit Nick looks even worse than last time!"

Even newcomers can recognize it.

A recurring feature in Rekieta’s comments are people who haven’t checked in him with him for a while. And they always go: “What happened with this guy, he looks terrible?!”

 

[AncientPhosphur]

LAY OFF REKIETA AND LET THE MAN HAVE A DRINK GOD

 

[EggImpregnator]

How long until Nick has to wear a diaper because of repeated anal sex with married men?

 

[Pomniman]

Nick wants to be seen as a hard-working, self-made man who took a path few others have the intellect and work ethic required to pursue, winding up as an elite among society. It's why he worked at banks for his early jobs and picked "lawyer" as his pretend profession. Lawyer is a position that stereotypically was considered an intelligent and "elite" job. The problem for Nick is that by the time he got into it people were already waking up to the fact that lawyers were retards and not just scumbags.

It boils down to Nick being a trust fund baby who never had to work hard a day in his life, stumbling his way into a low-effort and easy job that catered to his narcissism and desire for approval. Even at his HEAVIEST workload, he still never really needed to do much show prep. He reads documents and reacts to them as a "lawyer" that doesn't ever have to worry about being proven right or wrong. The maximum show prep he ever had to do was "Let's google current events and see what I should talk about today". Very noticeable when it is missing, but hardly earth-shattering work when it's there. So his "work" amounts to simply spending time sitting in front of a screen and talking.

His entire life is the antithesis of what he wants to be perceived as. That must eat at him on the deepest level he can feel, especially when other people bring it up. It's why he exaggerates how hard his life is and how hard his show is while simultaneously wanting to look like he's got it on easy street. Because he wants people to think his life is some massive difficulty, but he's handling it so fucking well we should be jealous.

The funny thing is that the one thing he actually can accomplish that would be impressive and worthy of respect is raising and caring for his wife and 5 kids. And he fucking HATES it. We have all seen how much he despises his family and kids. The reason? It's the one thing that has ever been in his life that actually requires work, and he is likely failing at it. Sure his kids aren't going to die, probably. That fact is something he probably tries his best to hide behind. But kids not dying is the default position. I'm sure he sees every day the damage his and Kayla's poor parenting has done to their kids and resents the fact that it would take even more work to fix/prevent it. Don't get me wrong, by the way. It's not that he cares about the well-being of his children. He just cares about how their success/failure represents him as a father and his success.

The funniest part of it is how obsessed he is with pretending to be black. It's like he's developed a fetish for perceived adversity purely on account of never having any real problems in his life that weren't entirely self-inflicted.

 

[sixart]

What if the Balldo has one of those classic JRPG curse mechanics and Nick has to use it in combat 255 times before he can be free of its malign influence

Balldo requires several offerings of Santorum to satisfy its thirst like Senketsu


I don't understand how Rekieta could succumb to a virtual death by thousands of superchat cuts when he was raised in the era of peak internet bloodsports

 

[Spaded Dave]

The funniest part of it is how obsessed he is with pretending to be black. It's like he's developed a fetish for perceived adversity purely on account of never having any real problems in his life that weren't entirely self-inflicted.

You're spot on, that's absolutely what it is. Why do you think he has to rewrite the rules of adversity specifically for "content creators"/"streamers"? Because he NEEDS to be seen as oppressed in some way and be seen as overcoming it. The problem for him is that it clearly isn't working, even internally.

His biggest mistake was committing to the right-wing ideology. If he took a left instead I have no doubt he'd be living his best life right now. That values system is far more suited to his desired status quo.

 

[Nate Higgers]

I've watched 2 people I interacted with daily die from alcoholism in a less than a 2 year period, and one I helped feed through a tube in his stomach when it eventually came to that.

I know that in some cases it isn’t possible to do the feeding tube if the individual in question has cirrhosis due to an internal bleeding risk or something

At that point it would just be a waiting game as he slowly goes from starvation I guess