Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

I happen to know the name of this production:

"Let's pretend that daddy isn't drunk and mommy is okay in the head"

very complex indeed.

"Let's pretend Mommy and Daddy still look like the parents we grew up with." Kayla's plastic surgery has to be really weird for the kids. It's gotta be really uncanny and upsetting. Just another selfish shitty thing Nick and Kayla did that will probably have a negative impact on the kids. Especially the younger ones. Imagine if your mom's face just changed one day. I imagine there are implications that just haven't been researched yet because access to cosmetic surgery has only become so widespread relatively recently.

 

[AnOminous]

Rekieta being a one time criminal defense (among other things) attorney, now non-practicing, who spells "acquitted" as "acuitted" is extremely on the nose.

This is a retard who thinks Russia is in NATO.

You should know by now that his children routinely have activities like theater rehersal late into the night during the week.

That's why he has to drive drunk them around half of every day. That's all he does is drunkenly drive his kids around. That's what he tells us.

 

[polar bear]

"Let's pretend Mommy and Daddy still look like the parents we grew up with." Kayla's plastic surgery has to be really weird for the kids. It's gotta be really uncanny and upsetting. Just another selfish shitty thing Nick and Kayla did that will probably have a negative impact on the kids. Especially the younger ones. Imagine if your mom's face just changed one day. I imagine there are implications that just haven't been researched yet because access to cosmetic surgery has only become so widespread relatively recently.

That's a good point. The most obvious thing for me is that she normalized slicing parts off her face because they weren't pretty enough (the surgery ended up in a disaster anyway lol). There is not a single normal kid approaching or going through puberty, that is happy with their own body. So what really helps during that phase of life is to have a parent that can teach the kid the actual real body acceptance, and help them completely devalue vanity and self-obsession.
But what's Nick gonna teach them? That it's okay to be worthlessly skinny and weak, as long as you're not FAT. And Kayla? That sometimes, daddy hates mommy so much, that mommy decides to cut parts of her face off, so that daddy doesn't humiliate her in public no more.
Lovely environment.

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

It's like the two of them want to look like corpses. Who was the plastic surgeon? Tim Burton? Dr. Steinman from Bioshock? It's like Nick told him, "Give her that Amanda Morris look. Just slice it all off and pull the skin back like a mummified corpse and really emphasize that snout and her big chompers. I want her to look like a Stalchild from Ocarina of Time, but with big fake tits."

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

I went to the grocery store the other day and decided to pick up a large bag of Doritos since, fuck it, I don't buy them very often. It was $6 and I remember thinking to myself, "wow, that's a little expensive." Then the next time I was reading this thread I remembered Nick's snack budget and had to stop for a second to try and comprehend it - how the fuck do you manage to spend $2k a month on snacks??

6usd x 7ppl x 30days= 1260 usd. Now imagine them in eating more than just doritos (both dont seem to cook anymore) plus the baby sitters snacks (cant imagine not buying her some when they're snacking especially since she does the shopping)

 

[Kosher Dill]

Also Doritos are cheap. You only need to eat one of them every day.

They're pretty much senzu beans for non-practicing lawyers.

 

[AnOminous]

They're pretty much senzu beans for non-practicing lawyers.

Except those actually restore your health. Every time Nick eats a single Dorito while glaring angrily, he gains another 10 pounds and loses another 10 IQ points.

 

[Train Operator]

That's why he has to drive drunk them around half of every day. That's all he does is drunkenly drive his kids around. That's what he tells us.

This is something that's always bothered me about nick, I swear this guy thinks he's the only person on earth who has more than 3 kids. his constant coping that "oh, i just couldn't prep for/do a show today today guys, i was just toooo busy" when 99% of people who have as many kids as he does also have fulltime jobs to support them is just ridiculous.

If he did 3hrs of show prep in the daytime, a 2hr stream at 10pm followed by a 1hr locals that's still less than a full work day and all he's doing is reading legal documents.

i don't see how his kids could be doing so much stuff that he can't fit that little amount of work into his schedule especially when it's literally his only job, the families only source of income, and what's paying his mounting legal bills.

i know it's just a lie to cope with the fact that he's just a lazy bum, but I'm just gonna say it. if your kids are in so many activities that you, your wife and the nanny have to be constantly in three separate car driving them around from the moment you wake up to the moment you go go to sleep, your kids are doing way too much stuff and they probably hate doing all of it anyway.

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

Except those actually restore your health. Every time Nick eats a single Dorito while glaring angrily, he gains another 10 pounds and loses another 10 IQ points.

His calories are mostly the liquid liquor and then a tiny bag of Doritos and some candy. This nigger is absolutely shitting his pants whenever he strains himself. It's gotta be nonstop diarrhea. It's like how Chris Chan shit himself regularly because his diet was just cola and Mack Donald.

 

[Maude Snew]

Well, he's never had to. When he was a practicing criminal defense attorney he never secured an acquittal for any of his clients.

He can also never ack ack ack quit his e-daddy.

It's The Wizard of Oz.

More like the Drunkard of Pozzed.

"Let's pretend Mommy and Daddy still look like the parents we grew up with." Kayla's plastic surgery has to be really weird for the kids. It's gotta be really uncanny and upsetting. Just another selfish shitty thing Nick and Kayla did that will probably have a negative impact on the kids. Especially the younger ones. Imagine if your mom's face just changed one day. I imagine there are implications that just haven't been researched yet because access to cosmetic surgery has only become so widespread relatively recently.

Can't imagine seeing your parents get more broken and frail with age is easy under the best of circumstances even for adults when you have a good relationship, it has to be even worse when it's self inflicted, and again even worse when it's for stupid reasons as in his drinking and vanity.

Who was the plastic surgeon?

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

View attachment 5810721

Yes I think that sounds about right.

That is such a terrifying jump scare. He’s so hideous and yet he ack ack acks about women over 150 lbs.



And fat too.

 

[Sharpeteer]

That is such a terrifying jump scare. He’s so hideous and yet he ack ack acks about women over 150 lbs.

View attachment 5811226

And fat too.

I have this theory that Dax's baldness looks unbelievably worse from just one glance at the back of his head.

Last week I (using speed-up) watched multiple hours of terrible Dick show/Biggest Problem/Nick & Dick streams simply trying to get just one shot of the back of his head, and couldn't get anything. Finally gave up.

What are you hiding back there Dax? Got a hilarious bald dome forming? Just shave your head like your Dr. Phil appearance and put on the shades - that actually looked kind of funny.

 

[daffodils]

Nick's Rumble live views were unusually high today (5000 instead of the usual ~3000). Maybe because he made it into the editor picks:

Youtube views before the switch were ~1500.

15:58 Cheers to Eric July
28:20 Nick on morality
Rest of the first hour sperging about how cops have it hard, jokes about blacks getting shot, yet another forced Stephen Hawking reference because cripples are funny (56:45).

Second hour is article reading and bad Biden imitations.

High energy throughout, lots of mugging, dramatic voice modulations.

 

[Maude Snew]

yet another forced Stephen Hawking reference because cripples are funny

Nick just trying to not dunk on anybody with greater upper body strength. One of them is dead, no clue what Nick's excuse is. No wonder he can only eat one Dorito a day, that's all he can lift.

 

[AltisticRight]

If you notice any errors or have suggested changes, DM and I'll get them updated.

It looks like calling someone a child penis sucker and crying about Rumble wasn't a good idea.

Balldo talks about "5-letter sentences", showcasing his Englesh Litrature Decree.
He claims that Taylor Swift can put him in the shoes of heartbroken girls.
He praises her writing skills.

Also, before he cries about how mean we are, the YouTube comments are worse.



And.

 

[Anti Snigger]

I guess Nick wishing people a million dollars was genuine

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

Nick and the bottle licking reminds me of an old stream he did in like 2020 IIRC where he spilled some of his whiskey and started slurping it up off his desk. He admitted at the time "yeah I know it's degenerate, I'm sorry" and I thought nothing of it since he spilled a decent amount and it probably was expensive. He didn't seem particularly drunk either at the time.

I definitely don't remember bottle licking being a part of his streams, but I rarely watched them and mostly just had them on in the background as noise. Guess this shit was always there, just lurking before one day Nick decided to give into it and become the drunken hedonist libertine he always dreamed of being.

 

[prolapsed_cranium]

View attachment 5811456

"Stock broker"

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Strix454 said:
Why this would require Nick not be at home at 11pm on a monday is left unanswered.

Getting to know all the Friends of Dorothy under the guise of helping his kids with the production.

I resent the implication.

 

[Microplastics In My Blood]

View attachment 5811428View attachment 5811427View attachment 5811437
It looks like calling someone a child penis sucker and crying about Rumble wasn't a good idea.

Balldo talks about "5-letter sentences", showcasing his Englesh Litrature Decree.
He claims that Taylor Swift can put him in the shoes of heartbroken girls.
He praises her writing skills.

Also, before he cries about how mean we are, the YouTube comments are worse.
View attachment 5811453
View attachment 5811455

And.
View attachment 5811456

How the fuck does this grown man like T-swizzle? It's the most bland milk toast, royalty-free sounding music out there aimed at people who only listen to music that is in the charts at the moment. I am not trying to be a music snob and you can't choose to like what you like but to say you love it and expound upon her lyrics is just fucking bizarre. for example, It's fine to say that you like Marvel movies but to then go on about how the writing is amazing and you love it is why Marvel fanboys are routinely made fun of.